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Author Topic: The Scattersand Shoals Legends  (Read 1792 times)
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Amuwen
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« on: 13 September 2003, 19:01:00 »

To start, this is only an idea introduction. I have a lot in my head waiting to free itself, but it's all gotta be clumped together somehow and that's where it gets tricky. I think this is going to be a series of legends based on the history of the Scattersand Shoals. I'm going to start with when it was first inhabited by Topan Marvil(aka Topan Blackblade) and his pirate crew. Even the introduction is a mere sketch, needing some more work done to it. I have a lot of places where I've put in parentheses extra ideas or words I may want to change. Anyway, here goes..

The large, almost regal looking(wording needs changed) vessel coursed(/glided?) through the smooth (tropical?) waters below the southernmost tip of Sarvonia. It was a deadly calm night; the water was like a fine silk gently rolling, and a heavy fog closed in around them. The crew was growing anxious. Even the wind blew so softly it scarcely ruffled the hairs on their arms, yet the ship moved(other word?) steadily onward, as if driven by some outter(outside?) force, willing it to go on.

The captain, who was a sly(need better word) old man, did not usually allow his full crew to drink themselves senseless. He reasoned that there should be at least one good handful to sail the ship or fight if need be. Captain Topan Marvil rarely drank more than a few tankards himself, hardly trusting the crew(to mutiny?), but tonight, everyone was drinking heavily.

It was early morning when a cry suddenly shattered the (descriptive word) silence. "Shallow waters ahead!" Corbid Rowland stumbled across the deck picking his way through (unconscious people.. need better wording) the passed out men in their drunken slumbers. He knocked, hesitating, but with a nervous kind of haste. "Cap'n?.. Cap'n thars shoals ahead. And land! Thar be li'l islands about, all covered in  (color) sand. Cap'n, the waters look... tricky. I dunno if'n we can make it through."

The captain, already awake, broke from his comatose state opening an eyelid, slowly peering at the other man. Rowland quaked. "Are yoo sayin' tha' yerr Cap'n isn't good enough ter navergate through some li'l bits o' sand?" There was a deadly edge to his words.

Rowland began stuttering out answers, but his tongue and his brain were still slurred from the night's damage. "Err, uh, err.."

The captain rose slowly, feeling an all too familiar throb in his head. In seconds there was a swish and the sounds of metal sliding against well oiled metal. A blade(need type) was nestled suddenly tight against Rowland's throat. He swallowed visibly, trying not to move even for breath. "Tis mutiny you speak." The captain stated it simply, almost too calmly.

"N-n-no C-C'apn!"

"Ah, but it is. You say that I can't make it through? I haven't led you through the roughest of seas since you were still wobblin' on yer landlubbin' legs? You doubt yer ole Cap'n?"

"I-I-I don't doubt Yer Cap'n! I don't doubt yer!" The knife slid slowly, dangerously, across his bristled throat.

"Good. Then you go out there and rouse those good fer nothin' laggards and tell 'em they best make ready to sail through the shoals!"

"Aye, aye Cap'n!"

"Get out of my face."

The blade was back in its sheath and without a backward glance Rowland scurried out.

Edited by: Amuwen at: 9/13/03 8:46
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Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels
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« Reply #1 on: 14 September 2003, 07:41:00 »

LOL, Amuwen, just proposed in this other thread to have a look at the Scattered Shoals....

Looks good for a beginning, but leave out your comments, it is harder to read, just change what you need changed later.

I'm unsure about "tropical", maybe warm?

That's all for now, waiting for more to come!

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« Reply #2 on: 15 September 2003, 00:09:00 »

Going to read it tomorrow, having the usual update stress this weekend...


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"Between the mind that plans and the hands that build there must be a mediator, and this must be the heart." -- Maria (Metropolis)
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« Reply #3 on: 16 September 2003, 13:57:00 »

Yeah, just read it as well - nice start, makes one curious for more. The bracket things indeed are a bit irritating for the reader, that's true... ;)  Aside from that it looks like it's going to turn out as a promising pirate story... More please, Amuwen! :drool  


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"Between the mind that plans and the hands that build there must be a mediator, and this must be the heart." -- Maria (Metropolis)
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