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Author Topic: A Shadowcaster's Letters (Summary/Teaser)  (Read 3779 times)
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Smith in Exile
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« Reply #15 on: 16 June 2004, 18:18:00 »

I know, it's coming :)

I guess tomorrow night after the matches ;)  (indeed the tournament seems to have a certain effect, at least on my santharian travels...)

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Artimidor Federkiel
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« Reply #16 on: 21 June 2004, 07:03:00 »

Absolutely enjoyable, Smith - just read it all upon integrating and need to congratulate again on this Santharian innovation. Really adds a lot of flavour, and it's easy to read as it is written in a very fluent fashion, so it's indeed hard to stop once you've started. Good as well that the single letters put a longer story into smaller portions, which are better "digestable" and thus an incentive to read some more. Very refreshing! - I'm eagerly expecting a continuation;)

How come BTW that when reading about the Arkhaeon Master... err... the Master Arkhaeon - I always hear the coarse voice of Marlon Brando like in "The Godfather" or in "Apocalypse Now"? :lol  :rollin

Ok, I've found some spellings/grammatical problems, so here's a list for that. Changes in brackets.


I am telling you all these (things), because this is the reason for my errand.

As soon as dusk was approaching I was already standing... - Should be: As dusk approached I was already standing...

If I would have lay down on the floor I would have probably been as tall as his knees - First the "lay" is wrong here at any rate, then this is a conditional sentence, and would isn't used in both parts. I've changed that to the following (hope it's right): If I laid down on the floor I would have probably been as tall as his knees. - Though in general I have to admit that this particular sentence makes little sense to me - maybe you can explain it.

This sentence is followed BTW by: But aren't we all, brother? - I guess this doesn't fit, think you meant: But wouldn't we all, brother?

The clerk kept me there for quite a while, pretending that I (had) arrived too soon

"coridories" should be "corridors"

I finally arrived in front of a silver door - should be simply "at a silver door"

"May Her (name?) be blessed and known... Master Arkhaeon..." - Assume you refer to Mari here.

so I had to shook (shake) my head

I tried to approve him, letting him know that I understand (understood)

nd I also have the strong feeling that a lot of his tests I didn't even noticed (notice)

When they cut your ears down, did they removed (remove) your hearing too?

He laughed short and quiet - should be: He laughed shortly and quietly.

I asked him if he wants (wanted) to suggest that our Murmillion brothers, living under Santerran rule on the Moon Hills, are (were) actually not as fallen or subjugated as we seem to think.

What I am trying to tell you here is that it was (were) not the Santerran fishermen to defeat us, but it was (were) we.

I told him that this was the name applied to our forefathers, the ones that (had) established the Kingdom of Ehebion.

You see... before you came to me I tried to walk my dreams with you and I did saw (see) you traveling the Moon Hills

I wrapped it back in its cloth and strap (strapped) it on the horse and I didn't tried (try) to read the glyphs on the blade.  


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"Between the mind that plans and the hands that build there must be a mediator, and this must be the heart." -- Maria (Metropolis)
Smith in Exile
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« Reply #17 on: 21 June 2004, 07:38:00 »

Thank you for the spell check ;)

about the mosaic scene: the image of that ancient king is depicted on the floor in a huge manner. If Kalas stands down on the floor, that image should be bigger than he is => he concludes that this is how it should be as no man could ever match that guy's "greatness"...


uhm... and the voice :lol  yep, the "Godfather" was what I first thought of...

The next chapter depends on the Euro 2004 actually lol, I already wrote 3 more letters but I have 3 more to write. I'll try to post them this week though so that they will be ready for the next update (would not be fair for the readers to keep them waiting)

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