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Author Topic: (Dhor) Chapter One: Of New Beginnings and Fresh Dawns  (Read 4918 times)
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Koldar Mondrakken
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« Reply #15 on: 10 June 2004, 09:15:00 »

Well, I guess that's also something we should think about concerning the devleopment of the timeline of Nybelmar. I already said anything before the WoC is only speculation/myth. However also anything from the WoC to the end of the Dark Age of Nybelmar should be also vague but already with some historical sources (similar detail as our knowledge about the Punic wars).  the rest written history though that's also 3000 years or more and kind of... much.

But that's something for the Nybelmar forum, I guess.


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Coren FrozenZephyr
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« Reply #16 on: 18 June 2004, 14:03:00 »

Okay, made the final adjustments now. Also found a new name for the Myrmhidonns. For a translation see here, feel free to drop a comment there too ;)  

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Coren FrozenZephyr
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« Reply #17 on: 21 July 2004, 06:50:00 »

:: falls on his knees and prays::

Kind winds, may you cross a commenter's path with that of this story?

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"Everything should be as simple as possible and not simpler." Albert Einstein

"Is he allowed to do that?"
"I think that comes under the rule of Quia Ego Sic Dico."
"Yes, what does that mean?"
"'Because I say so', I think."
"That doesn't sound like much of a rule!"
"Actually, it's the only one he needs." (Making Money by Terry Pratchett)
Artimidor Federkiel
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« Reply #18 on: 21 July 2004, 13:14:00 »

Well, just to get that straight, Coren, why I personally have more or less ceased to read your library stuff: I have made several attempts, but stumbled over lots and lots of unexplained things during the reading. I commented on various things on a previous story, you corrected some of them, still the problematic passages were not satisfying. It's extremely time-expensive to read a story for a third time and see that I, as the reader, obviously still have no idea what you're really describing, because I know nothing of this tribe, the circumstances, the culture etc. There's just a story, which I have to buy, and if you say: Oh, don't worry, that's something I'll work on for Nybelmar!, then I still have in many things a discrepancy between some concepts and the fact that things mentioned are still not approved yet, and I can't simply rely on everything I find new in the stories.

But how about finally getting these basics done in form of approved entries Coren? When Dalá  started to write her Katya Dragonseeker novel she heavily based everything on historical events already described on the site. When Smith writes his Dasans' Letters, then it all fits into the greater context. etc. So I'd need to see a context first - and so far we still haven't a tribe up you've worked on, you know.

In short from my point of view: One after the other. First the basics, then the stories.


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Edited by: Artimidor Federkiel at: 7/20/04 21:17
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Bard Judith
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« Reply #19 on: 22 July 2004, 19:34:00 »

I should also add, with Art, that I have deliberately not commented for many of the same reasons.

Of course, I'm also off in Korea running a very stressful and poorly-underwritten summer camp for over two hundred kids... but primarily when I see that there is no use in providing detailed commentary I don't take the time to even read over.

I realize that sounds harsh, but let me explicate:

a) I know very little about Nybelmar, and I gain only a multitude of confused impressions from the story above.
b) You may have many good ideas for developing the Nybelmarnian society, but they should really be put in clear, concise entry/Compendium form first, then used to develop a story, as Art has commented.  That way everyone can comment, add ideas, request clarification, and a concept can be approved before you 'run' with it.
c) I personally find your writing style to be obfuscatory and baroque, with a plethora of adjectives and a number of grammatical peculiarities.  Everyone has different tastes, but this story isn't to mine.
d)  Writing is very personal, and some people take editorial comments better than others.  I don't really want to start a flame war by commenting line by line about all the problems I perceive in even one paragraph.

Perhaps others will disagree with me, but I notice that no one else has commented either....

Sorry, Coren - I'd suggest that you try to break this up into a number of less ambitious entries, and discipline your creativity to incorporate the team's input and ideas.

Regards from the bard
Judith

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"Give me a land of boughs in leaf /  a land of trees that stand; / where trees are fallen there is grief; /  I love no leafless land."   --A.E. Housman
 
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