* 
Welcome Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?


*
gfxgfx Home Forum Help Search Login Register   gfxgfx
gfx gfx
gfx
Pages: 1 [2] 3
Print
Author Topic: Kormor Toltrumerim  (Read 8975 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Smith in Exile
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 4
Offline Offline

Posts: 964



View Profile
« Reply #15 on: 24 May 2004, 08:13:00 »

I think that the WoC he was refering to was actually the war with Menemronn - so he is talking about things that were there before Menemronn started his Nybelmarian conquest. Right?

Logged
Victhorin
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 0
Offline Offline

Posts: 327



View Profile
« Reply #16 on: 24 May 2004, 12:46:00 »

Yes. Smith is right. These events takes place before the war with Menemronn, but I've allways thought that the war with Menemronn WAS the War of the Chosen.

I've change it now and the Deep Dwarves are NOT from the same origin as the High Dwarves now. The runes are change a little and the text also, but most of it remains.

Impatient? Me? Who said that? Come on, tell me! We haven't got all day!

Edited by: Victhorin at: 5/23/04 20:48
Logged
Koldar Mondrakken
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 1
Offline Offline

Posts: 3.724



View Profile
« Reply #17 on: 24 May 2004, 13:28:00 »

Yes, that's correct. I just wondered to what other war you're referring to then, Favalcalar? I'm mainly not sure if that should be clearly linked to any Santharian myth though obviously the oldes elcven myths in Nybelmar might have references to them.  I see the WoC as the beginning of history in Nybelmar anything beyond that should be very fragmented. Was mainly wondering about that point.

Otherwise, fine. I'll read it aign asap.


Koldar Mondrakken, Knight of the Moonlight

Logged
Victhorin
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 0
Offline Offline

Posts: 327



View Profile
« Reply #18 on: 25 May 2004, 02:09:00 »

If it don't fit I can change the war, to maybe a "natural" disaster. But the dwarves need, as our dear Judy has pointed out, a VERY strong reason for leaving their underground homes. I really want the dwarves to be on the run from something.

But as you said, anything before the WoC should be vague.

Impatient? Me? Who said that? Come on, tell me! We haven't got all day!

Edited by: Victhorin at: 5/24/04 12:12
Logged
Smith in Exile
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 4
Offline Offline

Posts: 964



View Profile
« Reply #19 on: 25 May 2004, 09:20:00 »

No, I think the war is fine, the problem was before the war. But as we can't really say that the lands didn't existed before that, just vague expressions should be in order.

Logged
Victhorin
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 0
Offline Offline

Posts: 327



View Profile
Oki
« Reply #20 on: 26 May 2004, 00:22:00 »

Do I need to change anything else? I could use Judith, but I realize that she is not online in these times.

Is it "Nybelmarian-OK"?

Logged
Koldar Mondrakken
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 1
Offline Offline

Posts: 3.724



View Profile
« Reply #21 on: 27 May 2004, 06:06:00 »

Typos/Corrections: red (I'll only catch the obvious ones though!)
Comments: orange (was very picky whenever I didn't got a clear image from teh description)


The Legend of Kormor Toltrumerim

Overview
Before the War of the Chosen there was a great mine under the Zharkanions called Kormor Toltrumerim. [But...] When Menemronn crushed the Toltrumerim in their caves the legend says the clan was wiped out along with their mines.[This sentence falls a bit out of context] But among the Nybelmargerim the legend also says that the greatest of all Toltrumerim mines still remains unharmed and unpopulated under the mountains and when its rediscovered the dwarves will once again be one of the greatest power of Nybelmar. On AleronsZeRotrumEol or the Runes of the Eastern Mountain the history of the Deep Dwarves are told.


Pre-history
Since the beginning the Deep Dwarves lived under Nybelmar[can one live under a continent maybe just "beneath"?], deep under the Zharkanions.
Other dwarves came to Nybelmar in the Age of Silence. By then they were travelling south in great numbers, fleeing from a war in the north[I gave that another thought. As we're speaking of mythology and prehistory here maybe just "fleeing from a Great Evil" may be sufficient? Can be a plague, war, anything. through time it was seen as just a great evil danger the forefather fled from.]. Four brothers lead them on their travel. Their names were Keriloin, Mortiloin, Heriloin and Gakeloin, all great leaders and warriors.

“Fleeing great emeny
Towards south they walked
Many dwarves”
Vers 1

When reaching the nortern parts of the Zharkanions, after much trouble, a dispute broke out among the brothers about what to do next. Keriloin and Heriloin wanted to create a new great kingdom high up in the mountains were no one could touch them while Mortiloin and Gakeloin wanted to join the dwarves deep in the mountain. The whole group of dwarves were split up by the dispute. They started fighting dwarf against dwarf and the fight didn’t ended until two of the brothers died fighting each other. [It is kind of missing that they actually met the Deepdwarves! I do not know wether this should fill another verse(might be problematic) but I guess it should be stated somewhere that they met some longlost cousins (which dwarf is not a longlost cousin?;) ) and considered joining them, but two of the leaders wanted to wander further to found a kingdom of their own.]

“Fighting broke out
Angry dwarves fell dead
Children was scared”
Vers 2

Mortiloin, the older of the two, and Keriloin, the younger, decided to split up the group and search for fortune on separate ways. As Mortiloin and his friends were welcomed with open arms by the Deep Dwarves, Keriloin took the rest and started walking up the mountain.[Walking up the mountain. Is that grammatically correct? Otherwise he not only walked up but also further south I take it? More towards the center of the mountain range. It just that the barren lands stretch southwest of Fullwanooth along the Zsharkanion Peaks]

“Four brother became two
Keriloin walked on the mountain
Mortiloil walked under the mountain”
Vers 3

The dwarves that lived under the mountains called themselves Toltrumerim, or Under-Rock Dwarves but in the legends of the other races they became known as the [Not sure, just liked the two sentences connected better. The deal with the same topic.] Deep Dwarves. They had found that the Zharkanoins was rich of gold and silver and the stone easy to cutI was thinking that maybe in the deepest mines also Mithril was found. maybe only in legends but gold and silver sounds rather ordinary. Maybe noting that a wide array of stone and ores could be found would be sufficient as well. It's just gold silver and easy to cut stone sounds not very impressive...:) ]. Hall by hall and tunnel by tunnel the system was extended, with much help from the newcomers. More dwarves came from the north and the numbers of both groups grew.
Keriloin and his Kiingerim, the High Dwarves, created the great dwarven kingdom he dreamt of in a valley they called Heriloin-valley after the dead brother. There, they found many gems and precious stones. [Maybe note what rank/position/place the leader of the newcomers got among the Deepdwarves]


“Keriloin liked the stone so black
Motliloin liked the gems glittering
The group of dwarves were split up”
Vers 4

Under the roots of the mountain the Deep Dwarves felt secure[Secure? Secure from what? As the Deepdwarves always lived deep underground it is not notable that they felt secure. Maybe note that with the combined force of the newcomers and the Deepdwarves their kingdom deep under the rock flourished and they started to build new colonies?] and started to build colonies in both north and south. Just before his death Mortiloin named the mine Kormor Toltrumerim, The Great Mine of the Deep Dwarves. The mine was the centre of the cave system.

A generation after his death the tribe had a town in the northeast called Tyr Bruk and a mine in the south called Mor MithtenThuuth. The colonies were connected with giant tunnels that stretched under ground stral after stral. On the way taverns and inns were built so that one could travel in relative comfort. Enormous light shafts and thousands of torches lit up the tunnel just so much as the dwarves like it.
At Tyr Bruk a giant gap inside the first hall worked as protection and the rest of the town could only be reached by a bridge from which the town got its name.
The town was used as trading place with other races and it was the only known place where one could meet Deep Dwarves. The trading however was conducted on the outside of the mountain.[Reading about it I'm reminded of the Ylossians of Sarvonia, maybe they could be a hidden link to some extent? Just an idea that could be hinted but shouldn't be elaborated I guess, given the distance]

“Tunnels went on forever
Air, food and water fresh
All the way from mine to town”
Vers 5

The Gornegron of Kormor Toltrumerim was more powerful than most Gornegrons. He ruled the underground realm like a king and took little advice from his Gorkavons. Despite this the Gornegrons were always liked by the Toltrumerim and no revolt ever took place.
The Gorkavons in their turn ruled the colonies like little kings. Because of the long distances the colonies were hard to monitor for the Gornegron. Senders were used to communicate with the other mines.

“On a throne he sat
Ruled with wisdom
A mighty dwarf the Gorgnegron was”
Vers 7

Towns and mines of the Toltrumerim before the War of the Choosen:

Kormor Toltrumerim (Great Mine of the Deep Dwarves).
This was said to be the greatest mining town in the whole world. Above the huge mines and forges gigantic halls were carved out of the living[Excuse a dumb human, what is living rock??] rock. The Hall of Motilolin are described in the AleronsZeRotrumEol like this:

“Stack 100 Toltrumerim
One on the others shoulder
They still would not reach the roof”
Vers 8

The rest of Kormor Toltrumerim was just as impressive. The mine was bigger than any other mine and the tunnels went deeper and longer than any other tunnels. The stone carvings were not as impressive as the ones in the Kiingerim cities, but no human or elf could ever dream of making such carvings[two times "carving" in one sentence, another word maybe?].

Mor MithtenThuuth (Mine of Iron-Fire)
The Mor MithtenThuuth was a mine rich with iron ore and connected with the grandest forges in the realm. From Mor MithtenThuuth ore and iron bars and even fine metal art came all day long. The mine was only occupied by the miners and no military were present as there was no way out. The only way in or out of the mine was through the tunnels to Kormor Toltrumerim.[The last two sentences kind of contradict each other? Either there is a way out or not. As you say there's one way out so it is misleading to claim the opposite]

“All day Havach work
Taking iron and ore from mine
To the Kormor Toltrumerim”
Verse 9

Tyr Bruk (Town of the Bridge)
This town was the contact to outer world for the Deep Dwarves and the only known settlement for other races. For all they saw, the Deep Dwarves were just a few dwarves living in the northern parts of the Zharkanions. They could easily have guessed that it was a bit more with all the merchandise coming out of the mountain. The dwarves had a market set up about 70 strals northwest[can you make that southwest or west because anything around it will be flattened, the barren lands are in the southwest/west between the Zsharkanion and the Elven forests so as Menemronn collapsded all dwarven cities in that region they also should be somewhere there.] of were Fullwannooth now lies. That is also close to RotrumEol were the runes were carved in. The opening to the town however was always kept as a secret.[don' quite get this one. I thought this town was their contact to the others?]
There was a great bridge inside the mountains and it was guarded day and night. At Tyr Bruk the military presence was great as this was the main way in and out of the realm.

“In Tyr Bruk the bridge was long
Other races could not enter
Traders met outside”
Verse 6


Mor Dishuniolin (Incomplete Mine)
This mine was named after the War of the Chosen. Then last part of the text, the tenth verse, is not written by the same person who wrote the first nine. The runes are badly carved and only the magic protecting the whole stone has kept them in good condition. The tenth verse speaks of a newly built mine that were very rich with gems and gold, but that it was destroyed before it was finished. The one who wrote the last verse could very well be from that mine.
The mine are said to have been located in the northwest part of the mountains.

“A new beginning
Richer than all other mines
Destroyed by the dark, evil power”
Verse 10

Towns of the Kiingerim before the War of the Chosen:
As told by the old tales of the Kiingerim

The old Kiingerim tales and myths tell us about an underground kingdom that was friends of the tribe. They speak of great tunnels and ramps that lead up to the cities. Therefore there is reason to believe that the two tribes traded with each other.

Kerrintyr - (Highest Town)
This was the capitol of the Kiingerim. Located high up in the mountains, south of Kormor Toltrumerim the city covered three mountaintops and the vallley between them. All three moutains were filled with halls and tunnels and in the three mountaintops rooms for the sharp-eyed scout were cut out.
The three mountains were called Granoli, Ovikoli and Bonasolin after their first Garkavons and Garkavons were in command of each one from the creation until the end.
They were, as well as the other colonies, run like provinces.
The Gornegron sat on his throne in RotrumOvikoli - Mount Ovikoli - and oversaw the whole realm. He had more direct power over the realm than the Gornegron of the Deep Dwarves.
The stone of Mount Ovikoli were dark grey and the tunnels would be very dark if not light shafts were built.


Kiindenityr – (High-Holy-Town)
The northern city of the Kiingerim was also the seat of the Denirim. The Kiingerim had only one Denirim for all of its dwarves, and he or she, had sub-priests called Denierons. There were about twenty-five of them, ten for the big towns and five for Mor/Tyr Faerath.

The stone of Denirotrum – Holy Mountain – were light grey, sometimes almost white. The lighting of the city was therefore not needed in the same degree as in Kerrintyr.

Mor/Tyr Faerath – (Mine/Town of Hiding)[in Santerran: Tower of Iron]
The smallest settlement of the Kiingerim and the last to be built. That was lucky for them it seems as they were the only town to be overseen by the hordes of the Burning Mountains. If the city had a connection to Kormor Toltrumerim is debated. The Traders Council is not saying anything about it. The most common guess is that there is a connection to the tunnels but not to the mine. The tunnels would serve as an escape if the city were taken by force. If a connection to the mine would exist the Council would be foolish not to use it more.
[more or anymore?]


Koldar Mondrakken, Knight of the Moonlight

Logged
Victhorin
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 0
Offline Offline

Posts: 327



View Profile
« Reply #22 on: 28 May 2004, 01:58:00 »

I can't write very much, I'm at work so...:devilish

But I had a glance at your comments and I agree with almost everything. Why can't I see this when I'm writing:confused    ?

Living rock? Ask Judy. She's the one who made me start with that expression.

An 11th verse? Sure. No problem. Actually, 10 originally verses and 1 extra is better I think.

Welcomed with open arms
Brother of the past
Not every one agreed



Could it be "Mor/Tyr Faerath (Thergerim Tyr Faerath - Mine/Town of Hiding, In Santheran Tyrain Faerath - Tower of Iron" or something like that.

Impatient? Me? Who said that? Come on, tell me! We haven't got all day!

Edited by: Victhorin at: 5/27/04 10:09
Logged
Victhorin
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 0
Offline Offline

Posts: 327



View Profile
« Reply #23 on: 31 May 2004, 02:22:00 »

Done with the changes now.

The opening of the town were kept a secret, but not the area where it was. The one who wanted to trade with the Deep Dwarves came to the area and a dwarf came out and met them.  

Impatient? Me? Who said that? Come on, tell me! We haven't got all day!

Logged
Victhorin
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 0
Offline Offline

Posts: 327



View Profile
« Reply #24 on: 31 May 2004, 12:18:00 »

Dear Artimidor,
can you make this a Misc-entry and NOT a Place-entry.
Thank you

Impatient? Me? Who said that? Come on, tell me! We haven't got all day!

Logged
Bard Judith
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 365
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 7.650


Dwarvenmistress


View Profile Homepage
« Reply #25 on: 02 June 2004, 12:02:00 »

Oooo ooo oo! :pet  (jumps up and down with excitement)

I just discovered this fascinating entry and haven't got time ti read over carefully / edit / comment...

I'm glad Koldar already had a look at the history / war part, and I see he's also done a line-by-line overview which means less for me to comment on in terms of facts...

I'd like to do a proofread though, and I'll try to do that before the update, ok, Victhorin?

Must say I LOVE the styling of this entry with the interpolated verses,,, will steal that idea sometime!  (Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, remember?)  :b  

Logged

"Give me a land of boughs in leaf /  a land of trees that stand; / where trees are fallen there is grief; /  I love no leafless land."   --A.E. Housman
 
Victhorin
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 0
Offline Offline

Posts: 327



View Profile
« Reply #26 on: 02 June 2004, 14:49:00 »

Yes Judith, I will remember that when you win awards for your wounderful entries, written with this style and I'm left in the Shadows..;)  

Nah, I'm just kidding. Just go ahead. I like the idea that my work inspirers others.:nod  

Looking forward to the colorful proof reading.  

Impatient? Me? Who said that? Come on, tell me! We haven't got all day!

Edited by: Victhorin at: 6/1/04 22:50
Logged
Victhorin
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 0
Offline Offline

Posts: 327



View Profile
« Reply #27 on: 08 June 2004, 03:08:00 »

Arrrghhh!!!!!!!!!!

Stupid board!

It just took my text away!

Need to do the editing all over again.

Impatient? Me? Who said that? Come on, tell me! We haven't got all day!

Logged
Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 143
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 11.638


Shendar, Shen-D'auras


View Profile Homepage
« Reply #28 on: 08 June 2004, 03:38:00 »



Don't worry!

Everyone seems to have to learn by himself!  ;)  This time it was you - you will surely edit your things from now on in a editing program!

:hug    

***Astropic of the day***
"For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path   that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel looking, looking, breathlessly. ~Don Juan"

Logged

"For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path  that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel looking,  breathlessly. ~Don Juan"
***Astropicture of the Day***Talia's Long, Long List***
Victhorin
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 0
Offline Offline

Posts: 327



View Profile
« Reply #29 on: 08 June 2004, 11:59:00 »

Yes, but I'm slow learner.;)

No, I'm a t work. I edited the text in MS Word and pasted it in the Comment-area. When I pushed "Add reply" the text disapeared adn all it said was "HTML Comments are not allowed"....WELL I KNOW THAT NOW!!!!!!!!:explode

Well, well, I'm done with my update. If only Judith would come here.:noidea  

Impatient? Me? Who said that? Come on, tell me! We haven't got all day!

Logged
Pages: 1 [2] 3
Print
Jump to:  

Recent
[27 March 2019, 00:01:57]

[21 June 2018, 14:28:00]

[31 May 2017, 06:35:55]

[06 May 2017, 05:27:04]

[03 April 2017, 01:15:03]

[26 March 2017, 12:48:25]

[15 March 2017, 02:23:07]

[15 March 2017, 02:20:28]

[15 March 2017, 02:17:52]

[14 March 2017, 20:23:43]

[06 February 2017, 04:53:35]

[31 January 2017, 08:45:52]

[15 December 2016, 15:50:49]

[26 November 2016, 23:16:38]

[27 October 2016, 07:42:01]

[27 September 2016, 18:51:05]

[11 September 2016, 23:17:33]

[11 September 2016, 23:15:27]

[11 September 2016, 22:58:56]

[03 September 2016, 22:22:23]
Members
Total Members: 1019
Latest: lolanixon
Stats
Total Posts: 144586
Total Topics: 11052
Online Today: 13
Online Ever: 700
(23 January 2020, 20:05:39)
Users Online
Users: 0
Guests: 19
Total: 19

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2005, Simple Machines
TinyPortal v0.9.8 © Bloc
Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Theme based on Cerberus with Risen adjustments by Bloc and Krelia
Modified By Artimidor for The Santharian Dream
gfx
gfxgfx gfxgfx