* 
Welcome Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?


*
gfxgfx Home Forum Help Search Login Register   gfxgfx
gfx gfx
gfx
Pages: [1] 2
Print
Author Topic: Twinell Blades (edited!!!)  (Read 6207 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Xun Darkwoe
Newbie
*

Gained Aura: 0
Offline Offline

Posts: 26


View Profile
« on: 25 May 2006, 09:43:00 »

Ok, since I have had this idea for a weapon that is now bulging out of my brain, I will finally post it.

Overview: The Twinell Blades are serrated daggers, originating from the Eophyrhim Tribe. They differ greatly from the appearance of most other daggers. It has many serrations and a spike at the bottom to thrust. This popular dagger comes usually in pairs. Many people use such a weapon for stealing or fighting.

Weapon Appearance: The weapon contains a different type of appearence then most weapons. They are serrated daggers, though have a different type of handling. The serrations are sharp and jagged, like shark teeth. The jagged teeth of the serrations are pointing outward, to put more of a scratch on the enemy. There is also a spike on the bottom used for thrusting. You hold them downwards, instead of up. You hold the Twinell Blades in your fists, left arm all the way out, only bent a little, and the right arm in, only forward a little. You have the fists as if you where punching, where the top of your hand goes with the top of your arm. By doing so, you will have the stance you will want, and the blades will be going sideways in opposite directions. the Twinell Blades look like a dagger with intricate symbols on it, depending on how the owner would like to put on it. The intricate symbols have no real significance, just making a decoration for the weapon, or something to say to the opponent. For instance, the runes might say something like "Death to my blade" to the opponent, but no real significance.  They are much like backwords serrated daggers, only they are much more lightweight, and they have a piece on the handle, on the bottom, that is sharp metal, which you can use to thrust at the enemy. The weapon itself actually can have different colors, for this weapon can be painted on, while not damaging the weapon. Some are gold, some blue, some red, some might even be green! The weapon, however diplays disfunctions by making almost all of the body unguarded, except by quick movement of the arm and blade. This makes it a bit balanced in how good the weapon can be. A skilled user, however, can usually take on a well trained knight and throw him off, for the weapon contains tricks like hooking the enemies weapons. The weapon is about half a ped long and half a palmspan wide, and about a nailsbreadth thick.

Usage: The Eophyrhims usually use such a weapon, and they use it while hunting or protecting there tribe. The weapon can contain many uses for a skilled user. People can use it different ways, fighting and steal. These weapons are also good for thieves and assasins. They can be easily held underhand so they cannot be seen, once they are behind a target, slash! The target would be dead. Then you would be free to take anything. The weapon is a good weapon for quick attacks and surprise attacks, making it a very useful combat weapon. The spike on the bottom is used for thrusting into the opponents chest, piercing his skin. The weapon, however, as I said in the appearence, contains a disfunction with defense, for it leaves almost all of the body unguarded, and can only be protected by quick strokes to dodge or block. This makes the weapon balanced in how good it is, and making it not the ultimate weapon. The Twinell Blades create a whole new advantage, though, to the wrold of fighting. Because it is so unique and has many tricks, it can be used for many thieves and marshall art fighters.


Fighting style: Fighters usually use it by having the blade point to the sides. To do this, most people have the blade point downwards, by holding the blade backwords, and then slowly move there hands sideways. Then, while people are charging and fighting, these users quickly move on of there hands upwords in a X formation, causing the blade to leave a diagnol mark in the enemy. this could wound an enemy greatly, and sometimes kill the target.  By doing this, you can quickly move from on target to another, killing people one by one. And since there are two blades, a skilled fighter can fight two people at once. This could greatly increase the chances of winning a battle. Also, a skilled fighter usually needs to be quick and agile to use his weapon, for that is the main point of this weapon. To be quick and agile with a blade to attack some with quick strokes with a lightweight weapon. However, there are lots of other tricks and attacks that this weapon can be used for, such as doing thrusts at an opponent's chest, or spinning around while the weapon is attacking everything in the circle.

Origin/History: The Twinell blades were found by the Eophyrhim, who needed another weapon to be quick for hunting. They finally found the Twinell Blades, which were very useful for hunting, because of it being lightweight and small. This got them more food and a lot mor kills in hunting. They got so much more kills that the Eophyrhims wanted to keep it a secret from the other tribes and races. However, Humans finally came and attacked the Eophyrhim. Doing this, one human had found a set of Twinell Blades. After the battle, the human took it to there blacksmith, which made more of these Twinell blades. This is how the Twinell blades spread all over the continent and got more popular. There was many more Twinell blades then. The Eophyrhim still had the weapon, but others had it, too. That was how the Twinell blades spread through out the continent.

Well, that is my weapon, hope you like it.

The man who dares attack me, shall have pain and suffering beneath my blade. A man who touches me shall know what a beast I can be. Xun Darkwoe, Hunter of Thorns.

Edited by: Xun Darkwoe at: 6/2/06 16:57
Logged
so orril miesefer
Aspiring Member
**

Gained Aura: 0
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 1.379


Sky tower Apprentice.


View Profile
« Reply #1 on: 25 May 2006, 10:12:00 »

... not quiet sure, but I can make an image of a changing weapon, please be more specific and descriptive.

What's my magic? My treasure. What's my God? My freedom. My law? the strength and the wind. My mother country the sky So Orril Miés'éfer, Sky master.

Logged

What's my magic? is my treasure, What's my god? is my freedom, my law? the strenght and the wind, my mother country is the sky.--- So Orril, Sky Tower apprentice
Miraran Tehuriden
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 61
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 3.999


Creator Of .. well, not much, recently


View Profile Homepage
« Reply #2 on: 25 May 2006, 10:14:00 »

This has good potential for a flavorfull weapon.

However, i do have some pointers;

-The appearance needs to be determined. As it stands, this weapon is far to unspecified.No-one could ever recognise them , as there are no set rules on how it is supposed to look...

- Do not mention yourself in an entry. Neither wich variety of the blades you prefer, nor claiming to have invented them. It is custom not to refer to oneself in your own entries (although a few exeptions can always be found) And onely rarely does an entry refer to another member, in wich case this is considered quite the honor.

- Usages. Have less! I specifically target the farming functions here, as that would be a tool then. Of course, it might be possible the design of these things makes them usefull gardening tools as well as weapons, but then you will have to describe it accurately.

- Origin and history need mucho expansion! It is verry short and much needs to be added to create a plausible story here.

-Territory... you write this weapon into the whole continent, while this could be excelent as a more specific weapon, distinguishing a certain tribe, or group of tribes, from the rest (do contact the tribe's creators though)

-The entry is, all in all, verry short. Some of the hints i gave you ought to help you to expand it a bit further.

Keep up the good work!

Miraran Tehuriden..

'What the hell is he doing?!' - Ximaxian Fire Master, last words.


Feed the rats, leave a message!

Logged

Avrah Kehabhra

"The whole POINT of Nybelmar is that no one has any idea whats going on, overly long entries keep it that way." - Decipher Ziron
Stormraven
Newbie
*

Gained Aura: 4
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 155



View Profile
« Reply #3 on: 25 May 2006, 10:39:00 »

Hail and well met Xun I am Keldren Stormraven and I like to use yellow for my stuff


Weapon Appearence:Appearance should be a general de*****ion of the weapon. You may want to try something like this ( The Twinell blades are a pair of matched blades that vary in length from dagger to short sword size. Generally they have a narrow corved blade. The shape of the handle depends on the personal preference of the wielder) Then you could described the fact that they are serrated weapons with the intricate symbols. the weapon contains a different type of appearence for every different type of Twinell blades. Some are two swords the look like scimitars, but are half as thin as normal and are light weight. though my favorite would be the type that are basically daggers, though have a different type of handle. you hold them downwards, instead of up. you hold your hands to the side, and the daggers will go in opposite directions. the Twinell Blades look like a serrated dagger with intricate symbols on it, dependin on how the owner would like to put on it. I am not sure how well symbols would show up on the blades as the poison that the Eophyrhims use leaves their weapons with a charred appearance.

Usage: The Eophyrhims usually use such a weapon, and they use it whil hunting or protecting there tribe. however, many other tribes use it, ( I don't think this is something that many other tribes would use, it is a vicious and cruel weapon. Any weapon with serrations is designed to rip and tear flesh not make a clean kill and it would be impractical for use as a farming implement because the serrations would trap dirt and you would have to stop and clean the dirt off every time you started to dig. Also no warrior would use a weapon to dig a hole like this, they would use a sharp stick first before getting dirt o their blade.)some use which to dig small holes in which to plant seeds to grow a crop, and others to... to fight. The weapon can contain many uses for a skilled user. Fighting, growing crops, and even steal. These weapons are also good for thiefs(thieves) and assassins. they can be easily held underhand so they cannot be seen, once they are behind a target, slash!


Fighting style: You may want to take out the mention of other things people use it for here. This section should be just about the fighting style used for the weapon. You have a good start on the fighting style here but you need more detail. How does one block an opponents attack, there have to be more attacks then just making an X slash. These blades would be well suited to a dancing spinning style of combat  similar to some found in central and southeast asia. Lots of spinning and slashing attacks.People use it for many different things, so much people use it differently. fighters, however, usually use it by haveing the blade point to the sides. To do this, most people have the blade point downwards, by holding the blade backwords, and then slowly move there hands sideways. Then, while people are charging and fighting, these users quickly move on of there hands upwords in a X formation, causing the blade to leave a diagnol mark in the enemy.

Origin/History: Creating a weapon used by an entire tribe and more in what you have here is not something your character could have created. How would it have spread so far and so fast. If you want a specific weapon for your character then make it but trying to make a weapon that is widely available and recognized is not possible for a starting character.You can make a unique individual weapon, lots of people have.  The Twinell blades were found to the Eophyrhim eles, and they most commonly made it. The first person who made it, however, was a elf named Xun Darkwoe, who had shown the rest of the tribe. The tribe used it often, for many different uses, mostly for hunting. The Eophyrhims held it secret, but humans finally found it, just on Twinel blade, and decided to make there own. That was how the Twinell Blades cam around the world and almost all tribes, however not always commonly used for different tribes, can use it.

You should check out Drasil Razorfan's JheVai Dagger. He developed the weapon that his character uses very well.

Edited by: Stormraven at: 5/24/06 18:50
Logged

Not all who Wander are Lost J.R.R. Tolkien
Xun Darkwoe
Newbie
*

Gained Aura: 0
Offline Offline

Posts: 26


View Profile
« Reply #4 on: 25 May 2006, 10:50:00 »

Thank you all for the comments, and well met, Keldren, and i have fixed mistakes and am now ready for more comments.

The man who dares attack me, shall have pain and suffering beneath my blade. A man who touches me shall know what a beast I can be. Xun Darkwoe, Hunter of Thorns.

Logged
Stormraven
Newbie
*

Gained Aura: 4
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 155



View Profile
« Reply #5 on: 25 May 2006, 11:07:00 »

Ok. I would first suggest that you color your changes, this is done with the tool bar at the top, just highlight what you want colored, select a color then click the set font button. It will help others when reading for changes.


Weapon Appearence: the weapon contains (maybe use "has" here instead of contains)a different type of appearence then most weapons. They are basically daggers, though have a different type of handle. you hold them downwards, instead of up. you hold your hands to the side, and the daggers will go in opposite directions.( Always take the time to check your spelling and punctuation as well as capitilization. Rushing through things on this site doesn't work as people will get frustrated with reading and not botherto comment or ignore the entry alltogether. Also making an entry is a long and evolved process. you won't get it authorized in a day, not even a week. There are few moderators and they have their hands full with the hundreds of various entries.) the Twinell Blades look like a dagger with intricate symbols on it, depending on how the owner would like to put on it. They are much like backwords serrated daggers, only they have the type of handle you need to use. The weapon itself actually can have different colors, for this weapon can be painted on, whill not damaging the weapon. Som are gold, some blue, some red, some might even be green! The weapon, however diplays disfunctions by making almost all of the body unguarded, except by quick movement of the arm and blade. This makes it a bit balanced in how good the weapon can be. A skilled user, however, can usually take on a well trained knight and throw him off, for the weapon contains tricks like hooking the enemies weapons.

Usage: The Eophyrhims usually use such a weapon, and they use it while hunting or protecting there tribe. The weapon can contain many uses for a skilled user. Fighting and even steal. These weapons are also good for thieves and assasins. they can be easily held underhand so they cannot be seen, once they are behind a target, slash! The target would be dead. Then you would be free to take anything. The weapon is a good weapon for quick attacks and surprise attacks, making it a very useful combat weapon. The weapon, however, as i said in the appearence, contains a disfunction with defense, for it leaes almost all of the body unguarded, and can only be protected by quick strokes to dodge or block. This makes the weapon balanced in how good it is, and making it not the ultimate weapon. The Twinell Blades create a whole new advantage, though, to the wrold of fighting. Because it is so unique and has many tricks, it can be used for many thieves and marshall art fighters.


Fighting style: Fighters usually use it by having the blade point to the sides. To do this, most people have the blade point downwards, by holding the blade backwords, and then slowly move there hands sideways. Then, while people are charging and fighting, these users quickly move on of there hands upwords in a X formation, causing the blade to leave a diagnol mark in the enemy. this could wound an enemy greatly, and sometimes kill the target. By doing this, you can quickly moe from on target to another, killing people one by one. And since there are two blades, a skilled fighter can fight two people at once. This could greatly increase the chances of winning a battle. Also, a skilled fighter usually needs to be quick and agile to use his weapon, for that is the main point of this weapon. To be quick and agile with a blade to attack some with quick strokes with a lightweight weapon. However, there are lots of other tricks and attacks that this weapon can be used for, such as doing thrusts at an opponent's chest, or spinning around while the weapon is attacking everything in the circle.

Origin/History: The Twinell blades were found by the Eophyrhim, who needed another weapon to be quick for hunting. They finally found the Twinell Blades, which were very useful for hunting, because of it being lightweight and small. This got them more food and a lot mor kills in hunting. They got so much more kills that the Eophyrhims wanted to keep it a secret from the other tribes and races. However, Humans finally came and attacked the Eophyrhim. Doing this, one human had found a set of Twinell Blades. After the battle, the human took it to there blacksmith, which made more of these Twinell blades. This is how the Twinell blades spread all over the continent and got more popular. There was many more Twinell blades then. The Eophyrhim still had the weapon, but others had it, too. That was how the Twinell blades spread through out the continent.
I will go through this more in more detail later this evening and send you some suggestions to your EZ mail box.

Edited by: Stormraven at: 5/24/06 19:09
Logged

Not all who Wander are Lost J.R.R. Tolkien
Drasil Razorfang
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 47
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 2.034



View Profile
« Reply #6 on: 25 May 2006, 12:21:00 »

Um...No offense Xun, but how is this different than just holding your daggers in a different manner?  Maybe make it a fighting style not a weapon as your description does not fit one.

Drasil Razorfang CD

Logged
Xun Darkwoe
Newbie
*

Gained Aura: 0
Offline Offline

Posts: 26


View Profile
« Reply #7 on: 25 May 2006, 22:32:00 »

Ack!! hey, how do you make our picture from paint go to here?

The man who dares attack me, shall have pain and suffering beneath my blade. A man who touches me shall know what a beast I can be. Xun Darkwoe, Hunter of Thorns.

Edited by: Xun Darkwoe at: 5/25/06 6:38
Logged
Miraran Tehuriden
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 61
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 3.999


Creator Of .. well, not much, recently


View Profile Homepage
« Reply #8 on: 26 May 2006, 02:51:00 »

You will have to ask Arti to upload the picture.. But something done in paint will probably not be accepted anyway...

Miraran Tehuriden..

'What the hell is he doing?!' - Ximaxian Fire Master, last words.


Feed the rats, leave a message!

Logged

Avrah Kehabhra

"The whole POINT of Nybelmar is that no one has any idea whats going on, overly long entries keep it that way." - Decipher Ziron
Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 143
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 11.638


Shendar, Shen-D'auras


View Profile Homepage
« Reply #9 on: 26 May 2006, 05:57:00 »

Send it to me, I can upload it for you, but as Miran said, we are picky what the quality of the pics for the site concerns. Look for contact info to theRPG-board.

***Astropic of the day***
"For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path   that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel looking, looking, breathlessly. ~Don Juan"

Logged

"For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path  that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel looking,  breathlessly. ~Don Juan"
***Astropicture of the Day***Talia's Long, Long List***
Xun Darkwoe
Newbie
*

Gained Aura: 0
Offline Offline

Posts: 26


View Profile
« Reply #10 on: 26 May 2006, 08:51:00 »

It is just general idea, i don't think it would be the pic, next to the description of the weapon.

Logged
Drasil Razorfang
Santh. Member
***

Gained Aura: 47
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 2.034



View Profile
« Reply #11 on: 26 May 2006, 13:21:00 »

Xun, read my question above as I see you have not adressed me.

Drasil Razorfang CD

Logged
Stormraven
Newbie
*

Gained Aura: 4
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 155



View Profile
« Reply #12 on: 29 May 2006, 18:48:00 »

Xun, Sorry it has taken so long for me to get to this but I have been working hard to catalog the various poisons of our world. I will help as I can but My Poison Project is taking up a lot of time.

Logged

Not all who Wander are Lost J.R.R. Tolkien
Xun Darkwoe
Newbie
*

Gained Aura: 0
Offline Offline

Posts: 26


View Profile
« Reply #13 on: 29 May 2006, 19:55:00 »

Quite fine, Stormraven, quite fine.

The man who dares attack me, shall have pain and suffering beneath my blade. A man who touches me shall know what a beast I can be. Xun Darkwoe, Hunter of Thorns.

Logged
Artimidor Federkiel
Administrator
*****

Gained Aura: 538
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 23.091



View Profile Homepage
« Reply #14 on: 31 May 2006, 14:07:00 »

Ok, let's see what I can comment on this one, Xun...

- First of all I notice the absence of an Overview section. You should do one, summarizing the most important things about the weapon in 3-4 lines.

- I find a bunch of typos and strange sentences, so I suggest to look through the entry again (examples: appearence, backwords, are have, there tribe, contain many uses, fighting and even steal, leaes, marshall art fighters etc.)

- A bunch of repetitions here and there as well, like here: They are much like backwords serrated daggers, only they have the type of handle you need to use, and they are much more lightweight, and they are have a piece on the handle... - Try to reword things! Or "uses for a skilled user" should be avoided as well.

- Appearance. "The weapon contains a different type of appearence than most weapons" is not a very good start. Well, in general the appearance is not described too well so that one could recognize how it looks precisely, though I see the general idea. You write e.g. that the weapon "has a different type of handle" (or did you mean handling?). Because how the handle looks precisely you don't say (unless I've missed that). I could assume that the handle is wrapped around the fist, but that's only how I imagine the weapon to look like. Are the jagged teeth pointing inward or outward etc. How long are the blades? You also say "You hold your hands to the side, and the daggers will go in opposite directions." Also not very clear.

So far some brief comments on the first part of your entry, you should look again how you can improve things in this area, then we'll see further.


The Santharian Dream Webmaster - Let Fantasy Dreams come true!
World Development Admin - The Forum where Worlds are born...

Logged



"Between the mind that plans and the hands that build there must be a mediator, and this must be the heart." -- Maria (Metropolis)
Pages: [1] 2
Print
Jump to:  

Recent
[27 March 2019, 00:01:57]

[21 June 2018, 14:28:00]

[31 May 2017, 06:35:55]

[06 May 2017, 05:27:04]

[03 April 2017, 01:15:03]

[26 March 2017, 12:48:25]

[15 March 2017, 02:23:07]

[15 March 2017, 02:20:28]

[15 March 2017, 02:17:52]

[14 March 2017, 20:23:43]

[06 February 2017, 04:53:35]

[31 January 2017, 08:45:52]

[15 December 2016, 15:50:49]

[26 November 2016, 23:16:38]

[27 October 2016, 07:42:01]

[27 September 2016, 18:51:05]

[11 September 2016, 23:17:33]

[11 September 2016, 23:15:27]

[11 September 2016, 22:58:56]

[03 September 2016, 22:22:23]
Members
Total Members: 1019
Latest: lolanixon
Stats
Total Posts: 144586
Total Topics: 11052
Online Today: 17
Online Ever: 700
(23 January 2020, 20:05:39)
Users Online
Users: 0
Guests: 22
Total: 22

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2005, Simple Machines
TinyPortal v0.9.8 © Bloc
Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Theme based on Cerberus with Risen adjustments by Bloc and Krelia
Modified By Artimidor for The Santharian Dream
gfx
gfxgfx gfxgfx