SANTHARIAN PARODIES


Under "
Santharian Parodies" you find all kinds of things you shouldn't take dead serious. They are added to the site for the fun of it, exploring songs and texts of another reality, also known as "Earth" to some, and view these things under a unique Santharian perspective, spicing it up a little the Santharian way. If you like Santharia and have some insights in the vast realms spreading out here in front of you, and don't mind a "pun intended", then make sure to have a look at what we've accumulated on this page for you - we're sure you'll get some good laughs out of it!

THE DREAM THAT OUR SAGE HAD
BY DEKLITCH HARDIN

For the recent Awards ceremony for the Compendium held in New-Santhala, member of the Compendium Deklitch Hardin had penned a poem about the dream of Master Sage Artimidor Federkiel, namely to see all of Caelereth catalogued in the pages of the Compendium.

In the young Erpheronian's rush to get to New-Santhala on time, he left the scroll on which the poem was written back in his home in Silven on the shores of Eight Winds Bay. At the conclusion of the Awards ceremony, instead of attending the Awards after parties, Deklitch headed back north to retrieve the scroll containing the poem, firstly by wain to the port city of Naios, then by ship to Silven.

After collecting the needed scroll, Deklitch made the return voyage through the tunnels that went under the Prominent Mountains with Blessed Sea Elf Traders and then rode with Kuglimz traders to Darooth where he joined a trading vessel that was heading to Milkengrad. From there, Deklitch went by horse and went in stages, resting and changing horses regularly in order to return with the poem in hand as quickly as possible. Returning in time, to catch most of the compendiumists still there, having not yet returned to their individual areas of interest, he unfurled the scroll and read out the verse he had scribed.
 

Here is the dream that our Sage had.

Here are the plants
That grow in the dream that our Sage had.

Here are the beasts
That ate the plants
That grow in the dream that our Sage had.

Here are the trolls
That killed the beasts
That ate the plants
That grow in the dream that our Sage had.

Here are the orcs
That battled the trolls
That killed the beasts
That ate the plants
That grow in the dream that our Sage had.

Here are the dwarves in their caverns deep
That fought the orcs
That battled the trolls
That killed the beasts
That ate the plants
That grow in the dream that our Sage had

Here are the humans who travelled from their keep
That visited the dwarves in their caverns deep
That fought the orcs
That battled the trolls
That killed the beasts
That ate the plants
That grow in the dream that our Sage had.

Here are the mullogs who made not a peep
That hid from the humans who travelled from their keep
That visited the dwarves in their caverns deep
That fought the orcs
That battled the trolls
That killed the beasts
That ate the plants
That grow in the dream that our Sage had

Here are the Brownies whose dracoids started to leap
That flew over the mullogs who didn’t make a peep
That hid from the humans who travelled from their keep
That visited the dwarves in their cavern deep
That fought the orcs
That battled the trolls
That killed the beasts
That ate the plants
That grow in the dream that our Sage had

Here are the halflings who are keeping their sheep
That startled the Brownies whose dracoids started to leap
That flew over the mullogs who didn’t make a peep
That hid from the humans who travelled from their keep
That visited the dwarves in their caverns deep
That fought the orcs
That battled the trolls
That killed the beasts
That ate the plants
That grow in the dream that our Sage had

Here are the elves growing a new sweet neep
That they gave to the halflings who are keeping their sheep
That startled the Brownies whose dracoids started to leap
That flew over the mullogs who didn’t make a peep
That hid from the humans who travelled from their keep
That visited the dwarves in their caverns deep
That fought the orcs
That battled the trolls
That killed the beasts
That ate the plants
That grow in the dream that our Sage had

Here are the developers who are fast asleep
From researching the elves growing a new sweet neep
That they gave to the halflings keeping their sheep
That startled the Brownies whose dracoids started to leap
That flew over the mullogs who didn’t make a peep
That hid from the humans who travelled from their keep
That visited the dwarves in their caverns deep
That fought the orcs
That battled the trolls
That killed the beasts
That ate the plants
That grow in the dream that our Sage had.


FOR THE LAST TIME, DEK, I'M VOLKEK-OSHRAN
BY DEKLITCH HARDIN

Borrowed heavily from, and with very big apologies to, Scrubs and its "My Musical" episode song "For the last time Turk, I'm Dominican".
 

Phlegah and Dek walked and talked together for a while, when Dek said, "Phlegah, I'm intrigued in knowing how your people, the Ximaxians live and work in the city of Ximax and the Magic Academy."

"I'd be pleased to show you the catacombs beneath the city of Ximax and the Academy." Phlegah said to him.

Deklitch looked surprised at that and said to her, "I thought that Ximaxians lived and worked in the city and Academy of Ximax."

Phlegah's demeanor changed, and she started backing him up, while pointing a finger at his chest, as music began and the spoken words up to this point became singing.

Phlegah:
I've had it up to here so let me make it very clear.
Cause I swear I'll never tell you this again. Every time that you profess
I am Ximaxian...

Dek:
Yes?

Phlegah:
For the last time, Dek, I'm Volkek-Oshran!

Dek:
Don't make a big to do, I was simply testing you.

Phlegah:
Then why'd you write in the Compendium I'm Ximaxian?

Dek:
Phle, you know I know the truth.

Phlegah:
Well I need a little proof. So list all you know about me or no information.

Dek:
Ok, lets see. Your name is Phlegah.

Phlegah:
Oh, yes.

Dek:
You are an orc.

Phlegah:
Observant.

Dek:
You are a mage, you have a cat, and wait...I got it. Fire Daughter!

Phlegah:
Dek!

Dek:
Necromancer? Well I'm sure you're a Metal Crafter who is really hot!

Phlegah:
Tell me, what is my surname?

Dek:
Ok, I'm tired of this game. Let's forget it, I give up, I guess you win again. But it's not just me who get mixed up
by all this crazy Santharian stuff.

Sordoc the Great:
Sorry Dek, Even Sordoc the Great knows, she's Volkek-Oshran. He's Great!

Phlegah:
Did I grow up in the Greenhouse or was it the Catacombs? How long before we met was I in the Everbright? When we met did you research Ximax City or
the Academy? Am I Ximaxian or Volkek-Oshran?

Dek:
The thing is I research facts, like what happened when the Chosen died and formed Eight Winds Bay. And that is why my brain
is maxed! And I think of you both as a Volkek Oshran, Santharian and Ximaxian.

Phlegah:
Well thank you for that glimpse into the thinkings of the compendium.

Dek:
Let's talk about the catacombs, and not the fact that you're.

Phlegah:
Volkek-Oshran!

Dek:
You live and work In the catacombs.

Phlegah:
Yes, Volkek-Oshrans consider them our homes.

Dek:
I'd love to come and research them for the compendium.

Phlegah:
Then I'll take you there today! Now you're sure that that's ok?

Dek:
I say of course, and I mean "yes" in Volkek-Oshran, and Ximaxian.

Phlegah:
Dek...

Dek:
But you're Volkek-Oshran!


NORTH SARVONIA GIRLS
BY ALYSSE THE LIKELY

This is another song in the tradition of Septimus Smallpiece's Bawdy Songs. Sung to the tune of "California Girls" (Beach Boys), with apologies to Brian Wilson and Mike...

Oh, the Naurooth girls are lovely,
clad in nothing but their hair
And the half-orc maids can be fetching too,
though their fangs you must beware
The Kuglimz nomad daughters
can uplift a man all right,
And the curvy Iceland ladies know, how to keep you warm all night

I wish they all could be North Sarvonia…girls!

In the summer months they like to swim
and they leave their clothes behind
That’s when I set sail up the Aelyvian coast
to watch them sporting in the brine
I’ve sailed about this great big world
and I’ve seen all kinds of girls
But now I’ve set forth to go back up North
Back to the cutest girls in the world!

I wish they all could be North Sarvonia…girls!


North Sarvonia Girls

"North Sarvonia Girls", lyrics and sung by Alysse, as a parody of "California Girls" by the Beach Boys
Format: MP3, Length: 1:18.k
Click here to download the song, use right-click and "Save as..." (1.20 MB). Return to the top
 

WHAT ARE THE FLOWERS
BY BARD JUDITH AND ALYSSE THE LIKELY

Here we've got a version of "An English Country Garden", Santhariarized version, thanks to the conversion of Bard Judith and Alysse:

What are the flowers that do grow
In a garden of Santharia?
We’ll sing you all the ones that we know
And your hearts will be made merry-a!

Crimson rose, Anemonel
Azureflower and Cerubell
Lotann, All-flower, Dalferia
Erissa’s Tears, Hanging Horn, Sunflower bright gold
In a garden of Santharia!

What are the songbirds whose voices ring
In a garden of Santharia?
We’ll name them all in this song that we sing
So enjoy their lovely aria!

Injoh Bird and Ae-lir-el
Haloen and Glitra fell
Psitta, Culoo, and doves in the dell
There’s the Ricau white,
And the Dark-Which-Sings-At-Night
In a garden of Santharia!

Parodies written by various team members