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- THE CD FORUM POSTICON SYSTEM -

Below is a summary on the posticons used for the character description approval process. The posticon of the first post should always be edited according to the current state of completion of the character description (either by the player, a Moderator or an Administrator).
1) PLAYER - CD is incomplete. Use this posticon if you have not finished your CD. 4) MODERATOR - CD has been approved by one moderator. A second mod's approval is needed.
2) PLAYER - CD is completed. Use this if you have finished working on your CD. 5) MODERATOR - CD has been approved by two moderators. An Administrator should soon take care of the titling.
3) MODERATOR - An expert's opinion is needed. The specific field in which the expert's help is needed should be added to the title. 6) ADMINISTRATOR - An administrator has titled the character, and the thread will soon be moved to the CD Archives.
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Author Topic: Zander/executioner/Dwarf  (Read 94 times)
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Zander Hadar
New Santharian

Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 4


"why challenge me when you know you'll lose?"


« on: October 18, 2007, 06:12:38 AM »

Name: Zander Hadhor

Gender: Male

Race: Dwarven

Tribe: Kavogerim

Hair color: Black

Eye color: Brown

Height: 1 Ped

Weight: Two Pygge, and a heb

Age: 155

Occupation: Executioner

Title: The Black Plauge

Physical apperance: His face is round like a melon that has just got ripe, with a forehead that is pushed back meeting his eyes in a sunken look. His nose is rounded off at the tip and pulled upright giving him a snout of sorts. Zanders lips are thin and straight with chapped scaley skin, and sometimes they bleed. His ears are pierced at the lobb and at the cartalage thin area of his upper ear,with two orc canines that he pulled out himself. Eyes are sulky with a essence of pure evil that coils his face giving him a hard look.
                     Zander's skin Tan and fair, most time are contrasted with his dark baggy clothing he wears. His beard is twisted into a long braid of gray and black streaks that he grooms with a passion.
                    Zander's body toned and from hacking away at convicts and smashing orc skulls with his hands like they were mear sheet rock. Zander has a long wan colored scar on his back from an long sword weilded by an orc that came up behind him. Calous hands and thick hide like a cow from being in battle long hard days with chain mail rubbing agianst his skin. Zander's body is compact and he hasn't much reach with his Double-headed Axe.

Clothes: Zander wears a baggy black cloth that shows his ranking as a executioner in the system, he has a black cap that he can put over his face to block the blood spatter, but instead he would rather have blood hit him in the face during executions. Zanders battle armour is simple he puts on a chain mail suit under his clothing and heads out, he would rather have a "natural battle" as he calls it, then a suger coated one. Zander sometimes has been know to wear a robe that is shaggy and brown most times just to go to meetings that would effect his job position.

Personality: Zander takes life as a simple one sided fact, "be strong or die easily", he rather die in battle then die naturally, and hopes to do so one day. Take a stoic view on life Zander rarely shows emotions when great things happen or when horrible things happen, his views have seemed to keep him from courting a woman. Let it be things that get in his way he will still figure ways around them, for example, Zander swam two Strals across a lake with a caravan to meet an opposing caravan of orcs to take them in for bounty.
                   Zander's view in battle sometimes strikes people as odd or wierd for he kills things with no remorse or sympathy.

Strengths: Zander has many strengths that has proven useful on the battle field agianst eneimes.

Stoicism : Zander's stoic beliefs help him on the battle field, because of his non emotional self he almost never stops in battle to hurt or show sympathy. Zander's views help him by giving him that extra edge in allowing him not to shudder or stop because of emotions, a flaw that even the best warriors may have.

Strength: Zander's sheer muscle mass has proven him as a useful power house in the battle field, crushing skulls under his massive hands he is a formidable foe. Zander has been known to lift six Pygge's from a dead lift.

Nightvision: Zander can see farther than most individuals inside darken or dimmed lights or full darkness. This has proven useful hunting creatures like orcs at night.

Axe skill: Zander can swing his axe really quickly, and with so much force he can put his entire axe head all the way into the ground below him.

Tough skin: Zander has skin like a cow hide, he has been know to have an arrow bounce off his flesh like a simple pebble only leaving a scratch.

Weaknesses:

Portliness: Zander being so short and fat he rarely can keep up with someone walking at a brisk pace, this flaw has made a big diffrence on how long he can fight on the battle field without breaks in between.

Opium addiction: Zander has somewhat of a opium addiction and he can't ever seem to go a couple of days without a small smoke of opium in his wooden pipe. Opium is so full in his body some people would liike to call him a dependent user, but he denies that he is dependent on it at all.

Reach: Zander hasn't much reach with his weapons and he very rarely catches his enimes by suprise, and he barely can reach his enimes, but this doesn't effect how he fights that much.
History: Much of Zander Hadhor's childhood can't be accounted for up until his coming of age at fourty.
            Zander was accepted into his clan at the age of fourty, and soon he would go and take up his most dreamed job as a executioner in the prison system. Working simply as a court yard guard Zander slowly worked his way into a high supreme court of judges that enlisted him as the courtyard executioner, this took all but of twenty five years.
                                                                      After Zander gained his respect in the courtyard as the executioner he soon began to take up side jobs as a bounty hunter with one of the lead hunting caravans. The judges of the high court treated Zander as one of the judges himself, and he has been known to give the final say in ones death sentence. Zander has a vengence for the orc armies that raid local villages and has been known to lead small armies of troops to fight agianst them under court orders of course.
                        Twenty more years would pass and Zander would be a young eighty two years old why he got entirely bored in the job position he held, and soon asked to become a traveling bounty hunter executioner. The court granted his wish and let him, and a small band of troops travel the lands for outlandish criminals and law breakers, but instead he had the orders to kill them when he saw them.
               Traveling the world Zander took many bounties into his own hands, and with his mutinied party of bounty hunters. Zander soon was stranded in the middle of Naurooth nearly dead, and starved of food. Zander was taken in by an older elven lady named Mino, that let him stay in her inn for free a while, just if he would keep the guest that came in after hours in control. Zander would keep the people in control forging his first bond with an elf of all creatures in the lands an elf the dwarfs sworn enemies. Zander would leave this town after a couple months and would head out to find more bounties.
                           This time thirty years would pass when a miraculous thing happened, Zander had been walking a small path in the Marduran port city, when a man stumpled in front of him, and yelled toward him in a direct voice.
                                        " You...." He paused." you come here I got this axe for ya..." The man was obviously drunk because the way he stumbled about and spoke in slurrs.
                                         " Get away from me you drunken idiot!" Zander pushed the man flat on his butt and out flew a Double headed/Labry axe. " Is that yours there" Zander pointed with his grimy paws at the axe on the ground.
The mans eys glimmered then he fell down again as he tried to stand on two feet,the man finally stood and half walked half ran to the axe, and struggled to pick the axe up in his hand. Slowly the man twisted his face and walked started walking away from Zander.
         " Hey! were are you going" Zander said grabing and pulling the man to face him very emphatically. " Just give me the axe and I'll be on my way" Zander grabbed the axe out of the drunk mans hand, and pushed him forward advising him to move forward.
                                                                                            Zander took the axe with him from that day on, this was a high quality axe because it shimmered with a thin mithral coating. Zander would think ever time he looked at the axe how in the world did a drunk get such an axe.
                                                                                                                            Zander would travel the lands for sixty three more years taking his bounty toll to numbers of 247 people he had executed and took their papers. Zander finally headed back to his court and was given a statue in the court and his weight in gold, silver, bronze, and half his weight in lesser money. Now Zander has been seen traveling the land once agian finding bounties making money and striking fear in peoples hearts.

Zander has been said to been seen in the western corner of the world right at this moment waiting in patience for a long time bounty, "Erik The Wise" a old sage that used many, and taking many lives with his twisted methods of curing people. More importantly Zander is becoming more tired of waiting and soon he will be heading out to find more bounties.

Weapons: Double sided/ Labry- Zanders weapon is a very uniqe type of axe it has a thin layer of mithral on it that makes it ever so sharp to the point.
« Last Edit: October 20, 2007, 07:33:04 AM by Twn Arerwn » Logged

" what have I said of the justice of my blade? Is it the key factor of your major devastation, or is it flawless shine you find lovely." total silence. "If not then try the steel by god man"
- "The judge and the Executioner"
Zander Hadar
New Santharian

Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 4


"why challenge me when you know you'll lose?"


« Reply #1 on: October 18, 2007, 08:41:41 AM »

Comments are now welcome to anyone that is willing to give my CD a look.
Logged

" what have I said of the justice of my blade? Is it the key factor of your major devastation, or is it flawless shine you find lovely." total silence. "If not then try the steel by god man"
- "The judge and the Executioner"
Zander Hadar
New Santharian

Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 4


"why challenge me when you know you'll lose?"


« Reply #2 on: October 19, 2007, 02:52:38 AM »

Anyone is welcome to comment my CD now I have changed a few things and anyone is welcome.
Logged

" what have I said of the justice of my blade? Is it the key factor of your major devastation, or is it flawless shine you find lovely." total silence. "If not then try the steel by god man"
- "The judge and the Executioner"
Niccoli Faust
Pal'ran
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 421


Elf, Sanhorrhim


« Reply #3 on: October 19, 2007, 03:07:45 PM »

Be patient. CD mods have lives (apparently.) You can also use one of the topics posted at the top if you have recieved no comments after three days, which you haven't yet.
Logged
Twn Arerwn
Melancholy Mage
CD Mod
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 1747


Elf, Iferhm


« Reply #4 on: October 20, 2007, 07:26:17 AM »

Hello Zander and welcome to Santharia! My comments shall be in the ever-ugly color: orange
Strength: Zander's sheer muscle mass has proven him as a useful power house in the battle field, crushing skulls under his massive hands he is a formidable foe. He may be strong but crushing skulls with his bare hands ... not possible or likely. Zander has been known to lift six Pygge's from a dead lift. This is like lifting four of himself ...... this is also not possible.

Nightvision: Zander can see farther than most individuals inside darken or dimmed lights or full darkness. This has proven useful hunting creatures like orcs at night. How does he have this extraordinary ability? I do not see it listed with his race. This is also highly unlikely and not possible without some sort of explanation. Even then such "supervision" is probably not possible.

Axe skill: Zander can swing his axe really quickly, and with so much force he can put his entire axe head all the way into the ground below him. No.

Tough skin: Zander has skin like a cow hide, he has been know to have an arrow bounce off his flesh like a simple pebble only leaving a scratch. No.

Weaknesses:

Portliness: Zander being so short and fat he rarely can keep up with someone walking at a brisk pace, this flaw has made a big diffrence on how long he can fight on the battle field without breaks in between.

Opium addiction: Zander has somewhat of a opium addiction and he can't ever seem to go a couple of days without a small smoke of opium in his wooden pipe. Opium is so full in his body some people would liike to call him a dependent user, but he denies that he is dependent on it at all. Opium does not exist, though there are other drugs onsite he could be addicted to.

Reach: Zander hasn't much reach with his weapons and he very rarely catches his enimes by suprise, and he barely can reach his enimes, but this doesn't effect how he fights that much. This is not a weakness, it is more a limit of his strength in fighting. Your character is measured against the average peasant. Since the average peasant has no fighting skills what-so-ever, this is not a weakness.

Looking over some approved CDs in the approved character archives should help you find better ways to explain your S&W. "Approved Character Archives II". Read a few of them to get a solid idea of what we as "mods" are looking for.

There are many grammatical mistakes throughout the CD. A simple run through a spell check program would fix much of this. If you have any questions please feel free to ask them here.
~Sincerely~
Co f cr'tuuln:Twen Araerwen
« Last Edit: October 20, 2007, 07:32:27 AM by Twn Arerwn » Logged

he pe e pon the rowd ike a ragon, ncient and u o eath
Ganinon
Smithing Warrior
Approved Character
*
Offline Offline

Posts: 245


Dwarf, Mitharim


WWW
« Reply #5 on: Today at 06:56:10 AM »

Welcome fellow dwarf to Santharia! Apparently no one wants to be dwarfs except a few choice people. I Will try to comment you as best as i can for as long as i can in hope that you stick with it. Well lets get started. Comments in teal

Name: Zander Hadhor

Gender: Male

Race: Dwarven

Tribe: Kavogerim

Hair color: Black

Eye color: Brown

Height: 1 Ped

Weight: Two Pygge, and a heb

Age: 155

Occupation: Executioner

Title: The Black Plauge

Physical apperance: His face is round like a melon that has just got ripe, with a forehead that is pushed back meeting his eyes in a sunken look. His nose is rounded off at the tip and pulled upright giving him a snout of sorts. Zanders lips are thin and straight with chapped scaley skin, and sometimes they bleed. His ears are pierced at the lobb and at the cartalage thin area of his upper ear,with two orc canines that he pulled out himself. Eyes  that are sulky with a essence of pure evil that coils his face giving him a hard look.
             Zander's skin Tan and fair, most time are contrasted with his dark baggy clothing he wears. His beard is twisted into a long braid of gray and black streaks that he grooms with a passion.
              Zander's body toned and from hacking away at convicts and smashing orc skulls with his hands like they were mear sheet rock.slightly hard to believe and i don't think santharia has sheet rock. Zander has a long wan colored scar on his back from an long sword weilded by an orc that came up behind him. With Caloused hands and thick hide like a cow from being in battle long hard days with chain mail rubbing agianst his skin. Zander's body is compact and he hasn't much reach with his Double-headed Axe.

Clothes: Zander wears a baggy black cloth that shows his ranking as a executioner in the system, he has a black cap that he can put over his face to block the blood spatter, but instead he would rather have blood hit him in the face during executions. Zanders battle armour is simple, he puts on a chain mail suit under his clothing and heads out, he would rather have a "natural battle" as he calls it, then a suger coated one. Zander sometimes has been know to wear a robe that is shaggy and brown most times just to go to meetings that would effect his job position.

Personality: Zander takes life as a simple one sided fact, "be strong or die easily", he rather die in battle then die naturally, and hopes to do so one day. Take a stoic view on life Zander rarely shows emotions when great things happen or when horrible things happen, his views have seemed to keep him from courting a woman. Let it be things that get in his way he will still figure ways around them, for example, Zander swam two Strals2 strals? in earth that would be the equivalent of 2 km. Having a small body would hamper him i would think. more arm strokes and kicking strokes than most other creatures. Also most dwarfs stay away from water... across a lake with a caravan to meet an opposing caravan of orcs to take them in for bounty.
                   Zander's view in battle sometimes strikes people as odd or wierd for he kills things with no remorse or sympathy.

Strengths: Zander has many strengths that has proven useful on the battle field agianst eneimes.

Stoicism : Zander's stoic beliefs help him on the battle field, because of his non emotional self he almost never stops in battle to hurt or show sympathy. Zander's views help him by giving him that extra edge in allowing him not to shudder or stop because of emotions, a flaw that even the best warriors may have.

Strength: Zander's sheer muscle mass has proven him as a useful power house in the battle field, crushing skulls under his massive hands he is a formidable foe. Zander has been known to lift six Pygge's from a dead lift.6 pygges? this is the equivelent of 600 pounds in earth measures.

Nightvision: Zander can see farther than most individuals inside darken or dimmed lights or full darkness. This has proven useful hunting creatures like orcs at night.

Axe skill: Zander can swing his axe reallyOMIT the really quickly, and with so much force he can put his entire axe head all the way into the ground below him.

Tough skin: Zander has skin like a cow hide, he has been know to have an arrow bounce off his flesh like a simple pebble only leaving a scratch.Wow. Just Wow.

Weaknesses:

Portliness: Zander being so short and fat he rarely can keep up with someone walking at a brisk pace, this flaw has made a big diffrence on how long he can fight on the battle field without breaks in between.wouldn't this be the same thing as swimming?

Opium addiction: Zander has somewhat of a opium addiction and he can't ever seem to go a couple of days without a small smoke of opium in his wooden pipe. Opium is so full in his body some people would liike to call him a dependent user, but he denies that he is dependent on it at all.

Reach: Zander hasn't much reach with his weapons and he very rarely catches his enimes by suprise, and he barely can reach his enimes, but this doesn't effect how he fights that much.
Seems a bit unbalenced to me. Maybe take out the nightvision or add a weakness to counter it like slightly lower than average sight during the day because he has liked being in the dark?

From what i have read so far you seem to have a pretty good CD in the workings. Keep with it and you will be titled and RPing in no time. (sorry about not being able to do history. I am out of time. I will comment on that tommarro.)

To quote another dwarf friend...

"Have a nice day."
Logged

"If you never try you never fail, but then you can't win either." - Ganinon

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