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- THE CD FORUM POSTICON SYSTEM -

Below is a summary on the posticons used for the character description approval process. The posticon of the first post should always be edited according to the current state of completion of the character description (either by the player, a Moderator or an Administrator).
1) PLAYER - CD is incomplete. Use this posticon if you have not finished your CD.  4) MODERATOR - CD has been approved by one moderator. A second mod's approval is needed.
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 3) MODERATOR - An expert's opinion is needed. The specific field in which the expert's help is needed should be added to the title.  6) ADMINISTRATOR - An administrator has titled the character, and the thread will soon be moved to the CD Archives.
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Author Topic: Dameon/ assasin/ Gnome  (Read 834 times)
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Tifara Heike
Arachnophobic Archer
Approved Character
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Gender: Female
Posts: 625


Elf, Aellenrhim


« Reply #30 on: April 21, 2007, 02:41:48 PM »

Here I am, responding to your PM. Changes in PINK!

Name: Dameon Terakera

Gender: Male

Age: 124

Race: Gnome

Tribe: Gnorian gnome

Hair color: White

Eye color: Silver

Height: 1ped, 2 fores

Weight: 9 hebs, 1 hafeb

Occupation: Assassin

Title: the Demented
Is the “the” supposed to be in small caps?


Physical Appearance:
1 Ped, 2 Fores Dameon is short in size but has the body of a average height man, he has very toned muscles but not as much mass being 9 Heb's, 1 hafeb. (You don’t have to put your height and weight here…) He sports long thick white hair that comes to his back. Most of the time, it's put up in a ponytail and tied with a black bow string. His eyes are a hard ice blue silver that seems to show no fear in anything. He sports a scar from an arrow across is right eye. His skin color is pale for he never is in the light, His skin also has a blackish tint to it. He has the brightness smile. (“the brightness smile”? Or do you mean “a bright smile”?) His teeth are a crisp white (not too many have seen him smile though). His hands are thick from grasping hilts and he sports silver nails. Dameon is 154 but he looks as if he is in his 40s and he is most times mistake as younger than he is. (Ok, On top, you put 124. So are you 124 or 154?) Dameon has massive scars on his back - they were a symbol given to him by the lawmen of the country, marking him as a criminal. Dameon also has his most valuable possession in his mouth - it is a molar that is capped with Mithra; all elders in this tribe must do this. There also is an enchanted tattoo he has on his right arm that moves as if it has an mind of it's own. Under his left sole of his foot there is a small mark that looks like an L, giving him his childhood nickname "lightning foot". Dameon has a deep look on his face at all time, many think he mocks the moon with his looks. (Ok, I don’t understand the “deep look” part.) Leaving the grave sun to toil over him during the day. (Is this a sentence on its own? If so, I don’t understand…) Clean shaven looks as if he's never took an razor blade to his cheeks in his entire life. (I don’t understand this either!)

Clothes:
He wears almost all leather. Dameon  has leather pants that he keeps daggers on the side of. He also wears two strips of leather on his chest that crosses and connects to the back of his pants. Dameon also wears a long black robe over his other clothing. He has boots that tie up with thick buckles (they are also leather). His collar that he wears around the robe is white (like a priests) but most of the time, it's blood stained. Dameon also wears a thick wide black hat that permits him to enter the light, but he still would rather travel in the night than during the day. (I don’t understand this sentence! What do you mean by “enter the light”?)


Personality:
Dameon hasn't any reason why he kills for money but that, “If i kill the maggots, there will be less flies to swarm me”. Dameon thinks that if he gets rid of every pathetic person, he will find his most famous father much easier. (My interpretation of this sentence is that you have many fathers. You should change to something like “his very famous father”.) Dameon isn't a very cheery person - he hasn't been on record to laugh except when killing his marks. “Listening to their pleas is like a beggar asking for money - they never work.” He takes his job very seriously and hasn't missed a mark yet. Being very serious and up front with his victims is not the way Dameon wants to go, but instead he likes to toy and torture his victims, making him a very insane and demented person.

Strengths: Dameon has few strengths but they have proven themselves worthy many a times.

Stealth: Dameon can sneak through the night without a person hearing him or seeing him, making him a silent killer. This also helps with Dameons paranoid self because he's always the one in the shadows.

Martial arts: Dameon studies a style that allows him to predict peoples attacks by muscle movement, allowing him to hit first.

Major connections: Dameon has connections that have allowed him to get out of trouble.

Stomach: He has been poisoned many times, giving his stomach the ability to keep what he wants down at all times.

Skill with quill: Dameons ability with his judgement quill has made him well known, he can hit people in pressure points to disable them and he knows hundreds of killing strokes.
=str ends Just to let you know, you don’t have to write “strength ends”.

Weaknesses: Dameon has few major weaknesses but the few he has are very life threatening.

Light: If Dameon steps foot into the light, he will be burned alive, but for his hat he never has faced this problem.
Do you mean “stepping into places filled with light” by “steps foot into the light”?

Bleeding: Dameon bleeds uncontrollably if he is struck. It takes him some time to stop the bleeding.

Orcs: Dameon is terrified of orcs - he never seems to go around them.

Distraction: Dameon gets distracted easily and has made him almost get killed several times. Even when he concentrates, the slightest sound made by a pin dropping will stop him from what he’s doing.

Respect for older men: Dameon has a respect for men older than him and doesn't attack them for it would look bad on his part, Dameons father taught him when he was younger to never disrespect elders. This is also the reason for not killing the lawmen.


History: Dameon came from a long line of family and he longed for the day when he could stand up and be as great as his father, a well known Gnome (among the few ever known). His father was one of the greatest mercenaries there ever was, his father went away on a journey with a group of fellow mercenaries, never to return.

The story went that the time his father went away was the time when Dameon went crazy. Dameon soon picked up a lust for blood, sending him into a frenzy of Psychosis. As a result, he murdered everyone he once loved. No person has ever got through to him but his father and he seeks him out waiting for his home coming. (There are too many “he”s here. Edit this sentence.) The nights he waited grew long and made him become a thing of the night, taking jobs from people, jobs that involved murder and kidnapping. (“A thing of the night”?) Dameons jobs have put him in major trouble with the lawmen around the country. He spends most of his time running, hoping that one day, he would run into the arms of his lost father.

Running for twenty years of his life has brought him to many places and let him see many people. This has also allowed him to get many marks. (Marks of what?) Dameon has lived a life that many would call a blood bath and a killing frenzy but to him, it is a part of his life, so he swears never to quit being an assassin. Dameon knew that he's ageing, starting his adventure as an assassin as a young boy but now a prime man. With this, he knows that his time to find his father or what was left of him is short but till that day, he will continue looking for his father.


Shortly after leaving his town of slewn dreams, Dameon fell gravely ill from the drink he had had in a tavern. In the forest late at night, with the moon working so hard to show him up, Dameon fell face forward into the ground. Dameon awoke to a room that was so lavish that it seemed like it was taken out of fairy tales. The sheets were white and the room had cream curtains and hardwood floors; Dameon had on filthy and torn clothes. Because of this, he felt shameful of himself. When Dameon rose to leave the “fairy tale”, the door swung open, making it seem more so a fairy tale. A beautiful well-proportioned girl came forward. Her face was round, and her skin looked as if it would peel at a slight rub. Her lips were like rose petals so bright red she needed no glamorous wear. Standing there, as amazed as Dameon, she opened her mouth to speak. Silence came as quickly as she began and a small line of blood trickled down her forehead, a wound about as big as a nailbreadth. Dameon's salén pins silenced her with ease. Dumb from the hit, the girl fell like an pile of dirt. Dameon ran into a window, crashing through the other side into the streets. Had it all been a dream? The night cloaked Dameon’s face as he whisked himself away.

Dameons travels have brought him to the peaks of a mountain. He stays at the top of the mountain, waiting for tasks to be given to him. He came into this world for a purpose and he believes it's to kill. The monster in Dameon had come out in the some 100 marks he had killed. He came to many crossroads in his life and the most difficult mark he had was his older brother.

The story goes that one night, Dameon got a letter from his brothers wife and he was given a great offer. The next day, his mother-in-law found his brother next to his wife in the bed with a punter mark from a Judgement quill. Many say that Dameon did it out of hatred and for the money. Dameon had just replied to this by saying, “What I did is not out of hatred, but because it needed to be done.”

Dameon has travelled the world and seen many places and people. Once, he even thought that he saw his father, but it wasn't him at all - it was a beggar who reminded him of his dear father. Dameons travels have even put him in the jailhouse many times, and even though they had caught him, they couldn't hold him where he was.

His final adventure has brought him to the tops of a mountain peak where he spends long nights looking over the cliff at a small village where he once belonged. Much as he wants to go back, he knows that he isn't accepted at his own home anymore, so he must continue doing what he does best. Dameon has recently been spotted looking for a group of assassins whom he could join in a group with, but that may be a false statement. Dameon on many accounts have been said to rise in the middle of the night, afraid and tired of life as an assassin. In his dreams every night, he sees the day he became frenzied and killed all his loved ones. He would never step foot into the town he left in a heap of corpses and broken dreams again.




Weapons: Dameon wields Judgement quills, Salen Pins, Arm blades. Dameon favors his quills and pins and he rarely uses his arm blades to get the job done. His quills are usually tipped with poison so if he misses the vitals, the victims will still die within minutes. Dameons quills are made to kill with a single piercing.



Familiars: He has a pet Mithra wolf named Kiero. Kiero is a lone wolf that travels with Dameon at night and kills his foes that watch him in the night. Many think that the soul of his lost father is in the wolf few has seen. Dameon also has been seen talking to the animal as if it was human. The wolf has one missing canine so sometimes he calls it “Cano” because of the wolfs loss. He and Dameon seem to have a unmatchable bond together.

Last but not least, the “assassin” in your subject title is spelt wrongly. Amend if you want to, it’s not that big of a mistake. I’ve corrected many spelling and punctuation mistakes. I don’t know much about the technical stuff so… Anyway, good luck! grin
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Tifara Heike--Aellenrhim Elf//Arachnophobic Archer

Singaporean in real life, now in XinMin Secondary. (Primary School -- Yio Chu Kang Primary)
Dameon
New Santharian

Offline Offline

Posts: 37


"Dementia insanity... blood frenzy....all is lost"


« Reply #31 on: June 08, 2007, 03:01:18 AM »

I'am half way done with fixing my error's , but is their anyone that thinks I'am near the 3rd step.
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Weivóc'Neán
Forsaken
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Posts: 366


Elf, Eophyrhim


« Reply #32 on: June 08, 2007, 03:04:00 AM »

Bein at the 3 position is actually bad, you want to go 1-2-4-5-6, sometimes you can go 1-2-4-6.
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RP'ing: Speech Thoughts
A link to my CD: Weivóc'Neán
Dameon
New Santharian

Offline Offline

Posts: 37


"Dementia insanity... blood frenzy....all is lost"


« Reply #33 on: June 28, 2007, 10:00:17 PM »

Oh I didn't realize that this was a bad spot to be at thanks you.
« Last Edit: June 28, 2007, 10:32:56 PM by Mina » Logged
Ered edhel
Drifting Ranger
Approved Character
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Gender: Male
Posts: 65


Elf, Meladrhim


« Reply #34 on: June 29, 2007, 01:17:51 PM »

Don't get down about now long it is taking to get approval to rp. My character has been in the works for over two years or so even though it has only been posted since the beginning of the year.  You must do alot of research on every part of your character for "easy" approval.  I am only missing one thing in my history i think but that is because i am undecided on what to do.  I will read over your CD and see if i can help.  I have been on and off this site for years as different characters and it is still hard for me to get it down pat.  So hold in there.
« Last Edit: June 29, 2007, 01:18:50 PM by Ered edhel » Logged

Vesk Lyricahl
Mr. Admin
Admin
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Gender: Male
Posts: 1116


Human, Eyelian


« Reply #35 on: June 30, 2007, 01:09:35 AM »

Commenting in red.

Name: Dameon Terakera

Gender: Male

Age: 154

Race: Gnome

Tribe: Gnorian gnome

Hair color: White

Eye color: Silver

Height: 1ped, 2 fores

Weight: 9 heb's, 1 hafeb

Occupation: Assassin

Title: The Demented


Physical Apperance:1 Ped, 2 Fores Dameon is short in size but has the body of a average height man, he has very toned muscles but not as much mass being 9 Heb's, 1 hafeb. He sports long thick white hair that comes to his back. Most the time, it's put up in a ponytail and tied with a black bow string. Most gnomes are bald by his age, so its a bit strange to see one with long luxuriant hair. Its possible, but I think some mention should be made that he is quite a rarity among his people. His eyes are a hard ice blue silver that seems to show no fear in anything, He sports a scar from an arrow across is right eye. His skin color is pale for he never is in the light , His skin also has a blackish tint to it. I would like to see an explanation for this blackish tint. Is it stained with chemicals? He has a bright smile, with teeth that are crisp white( not too many have seen him smile though). His hands are thick from grasping hilts and he sports silver nails.Dameon is 154 but he looks as if he is in his 40s and he is most times mistake as younger than he is. Being mistaken for about a quarter of his age is a bit much. He can look younger than he truly is, but over a hundred years is too much of a stretch. Gnomes do age. Dameon has massive scars on his back they were a symbol given to him by the lawmen of the country marking him as an criminal.Dameon also has his most valuable possession in his mouth it is an molar that is capped with Mithra, all elders in this tribe must do this. There is no mention of this in the tribe entry. And mithril is rare, so I seriously doubt any of it is wasted on a tooth. There also is an enchanted tattoo he has on his right arm that moves as if it has an mind of it's own. I don't think the enchanted tattoo will work, unless you can explain how it works. Good luck with that. Under his left sole of his foot there is a small mark that looks like an L , giving him his childhood nickname "lightning foot". Dameon has an deep hard thought look on his face at all times, many think he mocks the moon with his looks, Leaving the grave sun to toil over him during the day(taken from Romeo&Juliet I thought it would sound nice since he can't be in the sun).Dameon has Clean shaven looks as if he's never took an razor blade to his cheeks in his entire life, He dosen't have any hair on his face at all never has he had it their. Male gnomes do have beards. I don't think its possible for him to have no hair whatsoever where hair is supposed to grow. Less than average, sure. But none is a bit of a stretch methinks. Why not just give the boy a razor?

Clothes: He wears almost all leather.Dameon has leather pants that he keeps daggers on the side of. He also wears two strips of leather on his chest that crosses and connects to the back of his pants. Dameon has a long robe he where's also that is black he wears it over his other clothing. He has boots that tie up with thick buckles ( they are also leather). His collar that he wears around the robe is white (like a priests) but most times it's blood stained.dameon also wears a thick wide black hat that permits him to enter the light, but he still would rather travel a night than day. I would like some explanation as to why his clothing differs so much from that of his tribe. Its absolutely fine to stray from his tribe's clothing, but there should still be a reason for so drastic a difference.


Personality: Dameon hasn't any reason why he kills for money but that, " If i kill the maggots,there will be less flies to swarm me". Dameon thinks that if he gets rid of every pathetic person he will find his very famous father much easier. Dameon isn't a very Cheery person he hasn't been on record to laugh except when killing his marks." listening to there plies is like a beggar asking for money- they never work". He takes his job very seriously and hasn't missed a mark yet. Being very serious and up front with his victims is not the way Dameon wants to go, but instead he likes to toy and torture his victims making him a very insane and demented person.

Strenghts: Dameon has few strenghts but more times than few they have proven worthy

Stealth: Dameon can sneak through the night without a person hearing him or seeing him making him a silent killer. This also helps with Dameon's paranoid self because he's always the one in the shadows.

Martial arts: Dameon studies a style that allows him to predict people's attacks by muscle movement, allowing him to hit first.

Major connections: Dameon has connections that have allowed him to get out of trouble.

Stomach: He has been poisoned many times giving his stomach the ability to keep what he wants down at all times.

Skill with quill: Dameons ability with his judgement quill has made him well known, he can hit people in pressure points to disable them and he knows hundreds of killing strokes.
=str ends In my opinion, he is just too strong. I would suggest focusing on just one weapon and allowing him to be skilled with that one.

Weaknesses: Dameon has few major weaknesses but the few he has are very life threatening,

Light: if dameon steps foot into the light he will be burned alive,but for his hat he never has faced this problem. I would definately like to see an explanation of how he came to have this weakness. There is no mention of such a thing on either the tribe or the race entry.

Bleeding: Dameon bleeds uncontrollably, if he is struck it takes him some time to stop the bleeding

Orcs: Dameon is terrified of orcs-he never seems to go around them.

Distraction: Dameon gets distracted easily and has made him almost get killed several times, even when he concentrates the slightest pin dropping will stop him from what he's doing.


Respect for older men: Dameon has a respect for men older than him and doesn't attack them for it would look bad on his part.Dameons father taught him when he was younger to never disrespect elders, this is also the reason for not killing the lawmen.


History: Dameon came from a long line of family, he longed for the day that he could stand up and be as great as his father a well known Gnome ( among the few ever known). His father was one of the greatset mercenaries there ever was, his father went away on a Journey with a group of fellow mercenaries never too return. Ummm... thats not very Gnomish of his father. There are Gnomes that are well known, but they're well known for their science, not prowess in battle.

the story went that when his father went away was when Dameon went crazy, Dameon soon picked up a lust for blood sending him into a frenzy of Psychosis he murdered everone he once loved as a result. I have only one question to ask here. Why? Why did he go crazy? What triggered it? Okay, maybe three. No person has ever got through to him but his father and he seeks him out waiting for his home coming. The nights he waited grew long and made him become a thing of the night taking jobs from people that involved murder and kidnapping,Dameons jobs have put him in major trouble with the lawmen around the country. He spends most of his time running hoping one day into the arms of his lost father.

Running for twenty years of his life has brought him to many places and let him see many people,this has also allowed him to get many marks. Dameon has lived a life that many would call an blood bath and a killing frenzy but to him it is a part of his life swearing to never quit as an assassin. Dameon knew he's ageing, starting his adventure as an assassin as a young boy but now a prime man,with this he knows that his time to find his father or whats left of him is slim but till that day he will continue looking for him.


Shortly after leaving his town of slewn dreams Dameon fell gravely ill from the drink he had a the tavern. In the forest late at night with the moon working so hard to show him up dameon fell face forward into the ground. Dameon awoke to a room that was lavish like tooken out of fairy tales. the sheets were white with cream cutains and hardwood floors, this made Dameon feel shameful for his clothes were filthy and torn. When Dameon rose to leave the fairy tale the door swung open making it seem more so. A beautiful were porportioned girl came forward. Her face was round, and her skin looked as if it would peel at a slight rub, her lips were like rose petals so bright red she needed no glamore wear. standing the as amazed as dameon she opened her mouth to speak. Silence came as quickly as she began and a small line of blood trikled down her forhead, a wound about a nailbreth big. Dameon's salen pins silenced her with ease. dumb from the hit the girl fell like an pile of dirt. Dameon ran into a window crashing through the other side into the streets had it all been a dream? The night cloaked dameons face as he wisked himself away.


Dameons travels has brought him to the peaks of a mountain, he stays up top of the mountain waiting for tasks. he came into this world for a purpose and he believes it's to kill.the monster in dameon has came out in the 100 some marks he have killed. He came to many crossroads in his life and the most difficult mark he had was his older brother.

The story goes that Dameon one night got a letter from his brothers wife and he was given a great offer, the next day his mother in law found his brother next to his wife in the bed with a punter mark from a Judgement quill,but many say that Dameon did it out of hatered and the money. Dameon has just replied to this by just saying " what I did is not out of hatred, but because it needed to be done."

Dameon has traveled the world and seen many places and people even once he thought he saw his father,but it wasn't him at all it was a beggar that reminded him of his dear father. Dameons travels have even put him in the jailhouse many times, even though they caught him they couldn't hold him were he was.

His final adventure has brought him to the tops of a mountain peak were he spends long nights looking over the cliff at a small village were he once belonged. much as he wants he knows that he isn't accepted at his own home anymore so he must continue what he does best. Dameon recently has been spotted looking for a group of assassin's that he could join in a group with, but that may be a false statement.Dameon on many accounts have been said to rise in the middle of the night afraid and tierd of life as an assassin, In his dreams every night he sees the day he frenzyed and killed all his loved ones. Never agian to step foot into the town he left in a heap of corpses and broken dreams.




Weapons: Dameon wields Judgement quills, Salen Pins, Arm blades. Dameon favors his quills and pins and he rarely uses his arm blades to get the job done.His quills are usually tipped with poison so if he misses the vitals they will still die within minutes. Dameons quills are made to kill with a single piercing. His skill with the Sallen Pins and Arm Blades should me mentioned under his strengths.



Familiars: he has a pet Mithra wolf named kiero, he is a lone wolf that travels with Dameon at night and kills his foes that watch him in the night. Many think that the soul of his lost father is in the wolf few has seen,he also has been seen talking to the animal as if it was human. the wolf has one missing canine so sometimes he calls him cano because of the wolfs loss. he and Dameon seem to have a unmatchable bond together. How did he tame the wolf? Its not exactly the most conventional pet.

I am not trying to offend, but your character is the most ungnomish gnome I've ever seen. Are you sure you chose the best tribe and race for the character you have in mind? Hardly anything about him resembles that of his people, even his appearance aside from his size.
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I am but a dreamer in this waking nightmare some would call life. ~ Vesk
Dameon
New Santharian

Offline Offline

Posts: 37


"Dementia insanity... blood frenzy....all is lost"


« Reply #36 on: July 06, 2007, 05:43:35 AM »

The reason I picked a gnome is because I wanted to be diffrent in every way
the reason I have made him such a mass killer is because  I have never heard of a Gnome
that has been known for the skills they possed in combat.
I wanted the most ungnomish person you could think of
(I will expand on the reasons though)
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Dameon
New Santharian

Offline Offline

Posts: 37


"Dementia insanity... blood frenzy....all is lost"


« Reply #37 on: October 12, 2007, 05:17:19 AM »

I am back everyone, and I have expaned my life story, is there anyone that would like to read it? If so tell me what you think, and what I should do to make it better.
-Thanks ;)
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Kalína Mërénwèn
Bringer of Song and Dreams
Admin
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Gender: Female
Posts: 8112


Elf, Mélad'rhím/ Injerín


WWW
« Reply #38 on: October 12, 2007, 08:41:08 AM »

Break up the really long paragraph of your personal appearance? >.>
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Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
Lady Kalina
Dameon
New Santharian

Offline Offline

Posts: 37


"Dementia insanity... blood frenzy....all is lost"


« Reply #39 on: October 14, 2007, 01:25:00 AM »

Alright I was wondering if I should of thanks !
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Dameon
New Santharian

Offline Offline

Posts: 37


"Dementia insanity... blood frenzy....all is lost"


« Reply #40 on: October 14, 2007, 05:54:10 AM »


I have changed somethings and would like someone to look them over, and tell me whats up.
Please and thanks
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