Shayan Ashkani, Azhorhrian Equestrian

[Shayan Ashkani]

Name: Shayan Ashkani   (Shah Yaan  Ash Khaa Ni)

Gender: Male

Age: 26

Race: Human

Tribe: the Azhorhria

Clan: Ash-Hadu

Height: about 1 Ped, 2 Fores, and a little more than 2 Palmspans

Weight: about 1 pygge and 5 hebs

Eye Color: Copper

Hair Color:  appears to be nor’sidian in all but full sunlight, when the true colour, a very dark brown can be seen.  (about 1 palmspan in length) Slightly wavy.

Occupation: Tanner & Leatherworker, Horse-breeder in training.  

Title: Azhorhrian Equestrian

Character Portrait
Portrait in the making


Detailed Description

Overview
Young Azhorhrian warrior. Usually cloaked and veiled in dark fabric which only shows his copper eyes. He has a dark complexion and a composed, dignified poise. His mount is a small but fleet horse of the Azhorhrian race.

Physical Appearance
Without doubt, the fierce copper coloured eyes, seemingly ablaze with a near unnatural light are the most wondrous trait of the Azhorhria people, as they are human after all.
 
Shayan’s copper eyes are slightly slanted with thick black lashes and stern brows, giving him something of an eagle-like appearance.
His complexion is dark, befit to the people of the Desert, and his features are rather sharp and angular with high cheekbones.
 
Some strands of dark, wavy hair fall into his face, but he wears it relatively short, no longer than a palmspan with a few slim braids starting at the nape of his neck.
 
Being agile and supple, he has a slender but toned frame as the qualities of the Azhorhria lie in speed, agility and endurance. They are of mediocre height, and Shayan stands about about 1 Ped, 2 Fores, and a little more than 2 Palmspans.
His radiance is that of, one could say, noble roguishness.  He has a dignified and calm air about him while an occasional temper and slight boyishness still shine through. He walks straight-shouldered, with calm, confident strides.

Clothes
Azhorhrians cover themselves so as to keep their bodies and faces hidden from the eyes of outsiders. If any outsiders see them without their coverings, the Azhorhria believe that it will produce a state of Najatis, uncleanliness of the spirit. Only Azhorhria can look upon Azhorhria unveiled.
 
Shayan wears clothes made of woven cloth dyed in nor’sidian and charcoal. Simple but of good, sturdy quality. The rims are often adorned with copper coloured embroidery. His clothes resemble a tunic with a hood, but are much more slender cut where his upper body is concerned, apart from the wide sleeves. The pants are wide as well (though one would not say ‘puffy’) with knee high boots. He wears a nor’sidian leather armour set over the tunic with copper bracers and several copper details.  Above his biceps are two armlets portraying snakes (meant for ornamental purposes only)

  
Personality
Shayan is like most Azhorhria: proud, enduring, devoted, respectful, disciplined.
He values hard work, devotion and truth and despises thieves or other criminals.
Appearing vulnerable or otherwise showing more than a minimum emotion to strangers is simply not done. It is only condoned in the company of family or closest friends. The Azhorhria see showing a too friendly emotion to outsiders as showing weakness.
Respecting and being respected is very important. A slight bow in terms of a greet, or the like, is not seen as a weakness but as a duty to a fellow man (or woman) as is giving aid.
When the desert rider openly shows his emotions to you, he'll consider you as a friend he deems trustworthy and will be loyal to. He more or less expects the same in return.  


Shayan is fond of animals, especially horses which will come as no surprise. (He considers them friends or even family)
 
Small offenses or crude comments will not coax much interest out of him and at times he may appear stoic or disinterested.
Shayan’s cool demeanor comes largely from his culture and upbringing. With this culture comes a set of principles and morals as well as a deep devotion to the One Goddess Allahra.
Living his life true to those principles is utmost important to him.

To Shayan, the individual is not as important as the collective interest. The need of another comes before that of your own.

Pain of whichever kind, needs to be accepted, not lamented upon, as it’s a gift from which one may grow rather than a reason for suffering. Pain cannot be blamed as it’s merely a fact of life and for Shayan, looking upon pain as unwanted is to deny a vital part of life itself.
He is not afraid of death either, believing in the Goddess' touch, though he would never willfully seek its company.

Habits: no drinking of alcoholic beverages.
He gets up before sunrise to pray and then again before sundown.



Strengths and Weaknesses

Strengths

Scimitar: Especially on horseback he’ll have a good advantage.  His style is based on agility and swiftness, at which he excels, not on strength.
He has a fine sword hand and has a good talent for technique. Controlled and calculated, he will not be slashing about for no reason.
 
Knives :He has some skill with knives. They are a small enhancement to his fighting style but serve more as a last resort than a real asset to his tactics. He sometimes uses them as a throwing device but at 10 peds distance at most. From this distance, accuracy to hit a (mediocre sized) target would still be rather small.
In fact, he mainly uses knives for skinning and many different tasks that are not necessarily related to fighting.
 
Bow: he has reasonable skill with a bow. He uses it almost solitary for hunting, and will only use it for relatively easy prey.

Horse-back riding: Being on horseback (with dad) before being able to run has its advantages. The Azhorhria are formidable riders and they cultivate their skills from a very early age with intense training.
 
Endurance: Good stamina and constitution are important to him. Endurance is an important factor when one lives in the Desert.

Eyes are the windows to the soul: As the Azhorhria spend the majority of their lifetime cloacked and veiled, reading another man or woman's eyes has become a vital part of communication as the stoic desert people give away little with their body language and even voice.  This does certainly not mean he can read the depths of a secretive soul, rather just pick up subtleties a little quicker than the average person.


Weaknesses
Language: Though trying to catch up quickly, Shayan has only a mediocre mastery of the common, abridging language, often resulting in crude, short spoken sentences. The Azhorhrian people stick mostly to their own tongue as they do not interfere with other cultures much.

Ignorance: Since the Azhorhria keep so much to themselves, he has little knowledge of other cultures which occasionally will get him in precarious situations.

Cold: Coming from a blistering climate, Shayan will have trouble with colder climates and will be prone to sickness. It's true that desert nights can be quite cool, sometimes even topping a water jar with a thin layer of ice, and that desert winters can hold heavy rains, but Shayan is not used to climates that are both moist and cold or where snow frequently leaves a pristine blanket.

Najatis: Being wounded in foreign countries is quite troublesome as only Azhorhria can look upon another unveiled without risk of being tainted with Najatis, which would mean days of meditation and rituals to regain purity. Therefore he probably won’t allow anyone to touch/help him unless he’s unconscious or lethally wounded.
Keeping up his codes in general might be hard when living outside of the Ystalinth and the acceptance of his people.

Terrain: Forest soil is not quite the same as the open sands. He puts much effort in training himself and Damare to get used to different terrain as quickly as possible but will definitely be at a disadvantage is a dense forest.

Tactics/Strategy: Neither really a weakness or a strength. Being 26 he has still much to learn. Desert warfare is his strength, obviously, so he’ll have to use all of his talent to make up for lack of knowledge where tactics on different grounds are concerned.

Damaged sinew in his right hand: A wound inflicted by the slash of a blade that never healed quite properly. Though he is able to do everyday tasks with it without much problems, firmly clasping and exerting pressure on an object or person with this hand will be painful, and less effective.


History
Shayan is from a relatively small family of reasonable standing. They're not among the most influential families in the clan, but follow up quite closely. Influence is often not determined by wealth but social standing and common appreciation by the other families and the stature and line of heritance of their horses.
He's the third and youngest son, to be exact. His father bred horses and he too wishes to learn that most respectable of trades, though his two older brothers are expected to fulfill the majority of this most respectable of duties.  Shayan's main occupation therefore is tanning and leatherworking which he also uses to support himself on his travels.  
He has two younger sisters as well, whom were both taught horseback-riding from a young age and have undergone basic training with the scimitar.

The Azhorhria are a close knit community and they provide each other with what is needed in terms of food and sundries should any family be in lack thereof.
The children are, apart from having stern, but loving parents, taught by the community, which is seen as a social duty. Elders and craft or skill masters have a very strong position within the tribe.
These desert people keep to themselves, only interfering with the other Azhorhrian clans, and many of them have never left the Ystalinth desert, except for the horse-traders, let alone set foot on another continent altogether.
What the Azhorhria are known for best is the Aeruillin horse, which are famed for their incredible speed and endurance, highly sought after by many. This results in occasional attempts by thirds to steal them, which are usually fended off.
After a period of relative peace however, an ambitious raid was planned and executed and a small but still prized amount of horses were stolen. The raiders had planned it such that many Azhorhria were coincidentally out training or at the hunting and herding grounds, as their warriors are feared for their skills and fierceness when it comes to protecting their horses.
Of those left to defend their livelihood, many a brave Azhorhrian was killed. This also included Shayan’s father and eldest brother. Shayan was not present at the time, as he was completing endurance training in the Ysthalinth Desert.
 
Shayan now seeks to find his father’s horses, one of them an exceptional mare, and therefore most precious. He has known these horses since their birth, and without them his family will be in great debt.
Besides, would one simply step aside when family was kidnapped?
His older brother Azizan has burdened himself with the same task, hoping to find information along a different path then his younger brother, so that, granted by the Goddess, one of them will be successful and bring their horses safely back home.
 
Though he has no fear that his tribe will help him, it lies in his code of honour to do anything possible before bringing such a great debt upon oneself. Aside from that he wishes to bring justice to those who murdered his family members.

Booking passage from Shan'Zarathan, a coastal town where the Azhorhrians sell a small selection of their horses annually, he arrived at Strata after a bit of an unnerving trip. It's not everyday the people of the sands become like people of the water.

From there he has set out to follow a faint trail, and has been following it ever since.




Weapons
He owns a scimitar and a few knives. They are of average quality and have no real special engravings or ornaments other then basic.
He also owns a simple bow for hunting.

Belongings
He cares little for material belongings or money and is content with his horse Damare (Dah Maa Reh), gear for riding and traveling, tools of teh trade, his weapons, a ring and a simple amulet. The copper ring features intertwining snakes, which he wears on his right hand. The amulet is also made of copper and consists out of a simple flat circle with a hole in the middle hanging from a leather cord.  He has one hidden chain, an abstract symbol of the sun, held by a snake that he wears under his robes. Also made of copper.




Familiar
Damare Sharazen Ashkani. A fine Azhorhrian desert horse of near nor’sidian colour (she has no markings that would make her special in the eyes of the Azhorhria)
Shayan puts her worth before that of his own, and so oftentimes he sleeps next to her in the stables, rather than in a bed to keep her safe and company if she is unsettled.
Damare is infertile, and would prove worth no more than a sold gelding, though she would be faster, when stolen (which would be quite a task in itself)
This is why Shayan takes the risk of taking her with him on his travels.  He has great affection for her though she is seen as impure (and in a sense a blemish to their name) due to her inability to reproduce.
Damare only indulges Shayan as her rider who has reared and trained her and will throw a tantrum should anyone else try.  She’s an enduring and proud creature, like her master, albeit somewhat impatient. She is sensitive to harsh sounds and crowds.
Being an Azhorhrian desert horse she’s not too large or strong, but can outrun (theoretically) any other breed of horse.



Note:  Shayan may seem firmly rooted in his beliefs, but he’s not suffering from ‘tunnel-view’ He can also be interested in the arguments regarding the faith or paradigm of another.

Second note: Though the Azhorhria are evidently based on tribes of Arabia, you should not see Shayan as an Arab. His clothes are also not typically Arabian. Rather he has a hood with a veil covering the lower part of his face. He resembles a ‘Caucasian’ looking man in facial and body structure, but with much darker skin.
 

[Twén Aråerwén]

Hello Shayan and welcome to Santharia! My comments shall be in the ever-ugly color: orange.
Name: Shayan Ashkani   (Shah Yaan  Ash Khaa Ni)

Gender: Male

Age: 24

Race: Human

Tribe: the Azhorhria

Clan: Ash-Hadu

Height:

Weight:

Eye Color:

Hair Color:

Occupation: Horse breeder & tanner in training.  Cavalier and currently more or less an investigator.

Title: Equestrian

Character Portrait
If my character gets approved and I enjoy playing him I will definitely paint him a portrait.

Detailed Description

Overview
Young Azhorhrian warrior. Usually cloaked and veiled in dark fabric which only shows his  eyes. He has a dark complexion and a composed, dignified poise. His mount is a small but fleet horse of the Aeruillin race.

Physical Appearance
Without doubt, the fierce copper coloured eyes, seemingly ablaze with a near unnatural light are the most wondrous trait of the Azhorhria people, as they are human after all.
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Shayan’s eyes are slightly slanted with thick black lashes and stern brows. Together with their colour they give him something of an eagle-like appearance.
His complexion is dark, befit to the people of the Deserts, and his features rather sharp and angular with high cheekbones.
Space New Paragraph
Some dark strands of wavy hair fall into his face, but he wears it relatively short, no longer than a palmspan, save a few braids that reach about mid-back, but they are usually obscured by veiling robes.
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Being agile and supple. he has a slender but toned frame as the qualities of the Azhorhria lie in speed, agility and endurance. They are of mediocre height, and Shayan stands about about 1 Ped, 2 Fores, and a little less than 2 Palmspans.
His radiance is that of, one could say, noble roguishness.  He has a dignified and calm air about him while the occasional temper and slight boyishness still shine through.

Clothes:
Azhorhrians cover themselves so as to keep their bodies and faces hidden from the eyes of outsiders. If any outsiders see them without their coverings, the Azhorhria believes that it will produce a state of Najatis, uncleanliness of the spirit. Only Azhorhria can look upon Azhorhria unveiled.
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Shayan exclusively wears black and coppers. Simple but of good quality.  His clothes are tunic like but much more slender cut where his upper body is concerned, apart from the sleeves. The pants are wide with knee high black boots. He wears leather armour over the tunica with copper bracers and several copper details.
   
Personality
Shayan is like most Azhorhria: proud, enduring, devoted, respectful, disciplined.
He values hard work, devotion and truth and despises thieves and other criminals.
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Smiling, crying, joking or appearing vulnerable or otherwise emotional is something only done in the company of family or your closest friends. The Azhorhria see showing a friendly emotion to outsiders as showing weakness. The only emotion allowed is anger, or related.
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He might think that bard’s joke was the best he’d ever heard but he would show not even the faintest of a smile, unless that man was his friend. You might catch an occasional light in his eyes if you look very carefully however. If he laughs in your company, he’ll be loyal to you from there on and be sure to show you a more open, warmer side of his personality.
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Shayan is fond of animals, especially horses which will come as no surprise. (He considers them friends or even family)
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Though small offences or crude comments will not coax much interest from him, he has a frightening thirst for vengeance were grave errors are concerned.

Shayan’s cool demeanor comes largely from his culture and upbringing. With his culture comes a set of principles and morals as well as a deep devotion to the Goddess Allahra.
Living his life true to those principles is utmost important to him.

Habits: no drinking of alcoholic beverages.
Getting up before sunrise to pray, and then again before sundown.

Strengths and Weaknesses
I would like to see his strengths and weaknesses defined in 2-3 sentences. This adds depth and allows moderators to see how great of a strength or weakness each of them are. Nothing elaborate but some mention of how each have helped (strengths) or hindered (weaknesses) him in the past. Though you have done this with some of them, I would like to see this done with each.
Strengths
Scimitar: Especially on horseback he’ll have a good advantage.  His style is based on agility and swiftness, at which he excels, not on strength. He has a fine sword hand and has a good talent for technique. Controlled and calculated.
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Daggers: He has reasonable skill with daggers.
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Bow: he has reasonable skill with a bow.
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Horse-back riding: Being on horseback (with dad) before being able to run has it’s advantages. The Azhorhria are formidable riders and they cultivate their skills from a very early age with intense training.
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Endurance: Good stamina and constitution are important to him. Endurance is an important factor when one lives in the Desert.


Weaknesses
Language: Though trying to catch up quickly, Shayan has only a mediocre mastery of the common, abridging language, often resulting in crude, short spoken sentences. The Azhorhrian people stick mostly to their own tongue as they do not interfere with other cultures much.
   
Ignorance: Since the Azhorhria keep so much to themselves, he has little knowledge of other cultures which occasionally will get him in precarious situations.

Cold: Coming from a blistering climate, Shayan will have trouble with colder climates and be prone to sickness.
 
Najatis: Being wounded in foreign countries is quite troublesome as only Azhorhria can look upon another unveiled without risk of being tainted with Najatis, which would mean days of meditation and rituals to regain purity. Therefore he probably won’t allow anyone to touch/help him unless he’s unconscious or lethally wounded.

Terrain: Forest soil is not quite the same as the open sands. He puts much effort in training himself and Damare to get used to different terrain as quickly as possible but will definitely be at a disadvantage is a dense forest.

Tactics/Strategy: Neither really a weakness or a strength. Being only 24 he has still much to learn.

Finally: It’s not a weakness, but he himself perceives it as such: his eyes may stray to both women and men alike. He sees this as a form of Najatis as well.

History
Shayan is from a  relatively small family of reasonable standing. The third and youngest son, to be exact. His father bred horses and he too wishes to learn that most respectable of trades.
Space New Paragraph
The Aeruillin horses are famed for their incredible agility and speed, highly sought after by many. This results in occasional attempts by thirds to steal them, which are usually fended off.
Space New Paragraph
After a period of relative peace however, a grand scale raid was planned and executed and a large amount of horses were stolen while many Azhorhria were coincidentally out training or at  the hunting and herding grounds.
Space New Paragraph
Of those left to defend their livelihood, many a brave Azhorhrian was killed. This also included Shayan’s father and eldest brother. No need for a spacing between these two sentences.
Shayan was not present at the time, as he was completing endurance training in the Ysthalinth Desert. A training set in memory to Seniah.
Space New Paragraph
Shayan now seeks to find his father’s horses, which he has known since their birth, as without them his family will be in great debt. Besides, would one simply step aside when family was kidnapped?
Space New Paragraph
Though he has no fear that his tribe will help him, it lies in their code of honour to do anything possible before bringing such a great debt upon oneself. Aside from that he wishes to bring justice to those who murdered his family members.

Weapons
He owns a scimitar and a few daggers. They are of average quality and have no special engravings or ornaments.
He also has a simple bow for hunting.

Belongings
He cares little for material belongings and is content with his horse Damare, gear for riding and traveling, his weapons and a simple amulet. The amulet is alsomade of  copper and consists out of a simple flat circle with a hole in the middle hanging from a leather cord.

Familiar
Damare Sharazen Ashkani.  I fine Aeruillin horse of ebony colour. The horses get the family name of their breeders, as they’re that much respected and are more often than not seen as part of the family.  Shayan puts her worth before that of his own, and so he sleeps next to her in stables, rather than in a bed to keep her safe and company.
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Damare only indulges Shayan as her rider and will throw a tantrum should anyone else try.  She’s an enduring and proud creature, like her master.
Being an Aeruillin she’s not too large or strong, but can outrun any other race ("breed of horse". Race can be a very broad range of things.).


note: Though the Azhorhria are evidently based on tribes of Arabia, you should not see him as an Arab. In looks he's much more of a darkskinned caucasian looking man.

What you have already looks fairly well done. I will wait to comment on your strengths and weaknesses, as there are a few comments of mine that pertain to those areas. If you have any questions please feel free to ask them here, I am about quite often.

~Sincerely~

Cáo fá cár'tuulén:Twen Araerwen

[Twén Aråerwén]

Hello again Shayan! I am going to address the points you have in question. I also have a minor suggestion of my own after reading your edits.
Weight: Your characters weight is a bit light, though not anything outside the realm of possible. If you are writing him to be somewhat light of frame then this is a fairly reasonable weight.
Daggers: 50 ped is a very very long throw with a dagger. Definitely not a range anyone would or could be accurate at. Daggers were not used as throwing objects, mainly. Usually knives were used in this aspect of combat as their weight made them more effective in this regard. Some of the characters I have read (written) in the past have great skill with knife throwing and the distance for these characters were near 20ped.

Suggestion: Adding a bit of age to your character would help with his weapon skills. I know he is only "good" with one of them but he is also proficient with some of them on horseback. I understand that some of this skill is a natural attribute of his tribe. But a few years would help in understanding how he has this array of skills.

~Sincerely~

Cáo fá cár'tuulén:Twen Araerwen

[Twén Aråerwén]

Hello again Shayan! Just some light comments to get the finer points worked out. There are some minor grammatical issues in the CD. If you need help with those, please ask and I will find time for a full URI check.
Points of present interest.
1) The % for accuracy is really not something befitting in a Santharian setting. Just stating that his accuracy at even such a short range is highly diminished, would work.
2) The wording under the heading "Cold" in his weaknesses, in the edited part sounds a bit off.

The rest looks very well done and in need of nothing more than a grammatical check on your part.

~Sincerely~

Cáo fá cár'tuulén:Twen Araerwen

[Twén Aråerwén]

If English is not your first language then I must say I am very impressed. Not only are you an artist of great skill, your writing in a non-native language is impressive as well. You have done all that I have asked, minor grammatical errors are still found in the CD, but I am sure these will polish out the more you write. ~First Approval~

[Kalína Dalá'isyrás]

Short, sweet, too the point. I love it.

My apologies for taking so long to get through to your CD, but you are titled now and are free to join Santharian Approved Member group ^.^

[Mina]

It might be a while before Shayan reappears.  Take a look here. 

[Kalína Dalá'isyrás]

Well, at least he is titled when he returns XD

[Mina]

So...do you want to wait for Shayan to return first, or just move this thread into the archives now? 

[Kalína Dalá'isyrás]

Move to the archives, he has a title and will show up in "Blue" lettering when he returns. If he has a question when he comes back, he can always ask.

Since it is approved, it would be easier to find the CD if it was in the archives rather than in the tangled mess of the CD Forum

[Mina]

[Shayan Ashkani]

Thank you

Just tidied things up a bit to get 'im ready to rp.

[Shayan Ashkani]

I realized I'd hit the wrong posticon...my aplogies for that.

[Shayan Ashkani]

All right then,

Touched up some on history, added a little more detail to that section, as well as minor things to belongings (jewelery) and such. No big changes (strengths/weaknesses etc)

Request to be moved back to archives!

Thank you

[Mina]

It seems to me you've invented some details about Azhorhrian culture, since I didn't see them mentioned in the entry.  I'm not sure if that's alright in this board, though they seem to fit.  Maybe you could ask about adding them to the tribe entry at the dev board? 

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