Shayan Ashkani, Azhorhrian Equestrian

[Shayan Ashkani]

I was  planning on doing that thanks for reminding me.

Come to think of it..I'm not sure why I put it in the CD already...I guess it was meant for documentation about my character I could use to write a proposal and then got pasted with the added content. Hmn bit sloppy.

I'd like to work on the Azhorhria if possible, but I'll leave that discussion for the Dev board then

Thanks for reading.

[Shayan Ashkani]

Well it's been quiet a while....(from my side I mean) But I've returned after a long, long hiatus.

I deleted the added history and such, as development/approval of added Aeruillin/Ash Hadu culture was, and apparently still is currently off limits.  Maybe I'll try again in the future since I'd love to give him more depth in terms of background and such.


I added a minor strength in non-verbal interpretation and a weakness (damaged hand) but I think that's the only two things.


I welcome (new) comments. If all is well, I'd like this cd to be put back into the archives.

[Deklitch Hardin]

Hi Shayan

I've read through it, and I can't see anything in your additions that would prevent me from giving you a 1st approval, Shayan.

[Azhira Styralias]

Hi Shayan!

My only issue here is your history does not mention any way you got (or plan to get) to Santharia. You are on another continent and most stories take place in Santharia. You'll need a believable way to do this. Maybe you left on a boat for Santharia, eager to leave your homeland for adventure?

Second, if you keep your horse, you'll need a way to bring him as well. And, you would be taking your horse out of its native territory into some place new. That would be quite an adjustment for it.

[Shayan Ashkani]

Ah, sorry, I thought going by boat would be obvious, there isn't really another way so I didn't add it.  The Azhorhrians sell a small selection of their horses once a year in Shan'Zarathan from where they are shipped to other continents, so I'll add that as his means of passage.

An Azhorhrian without his/her horse is like an Azhorhrian with only one leg and arm really. Seeing the tribe's near reverence for this breed and being largely dependent on them, I can't really see how he would not bring her, regardless of circumstance.

He's not going for adventure, Azhorhrians hardly venture outside the Ystalinth without reason and keep mostly to themselves, rather it is to retrieve the stolen horses, which he practically regards as kidnapped family. It's written in the history section, but I could expand if this is not clear enough  

[Ta'lia of the Seven Jewels]

Without re-reading the Azhorians I see nothing wrong with this CD. One thing though - how did you pay your passage (for you and the horse)? And even if you don't need much money, you have to earn something to live from, if you are not carrying a big amount of gold with you. How?

No turban?

[Shayan Ashkani]

Good one, Talia.

I mentioned him being a tanner in training so I'm thinking I should expand on that, as you're right, that's definitely not clear.   I guess it would be more logical is he was a tanner/leatherworker and then a horsebreeder in training rather than the other way around as I have it now. After al he was the third son, emphasis to follow in his father's footsteps to ensure family income would be on the eldest son(s) He would still learn, but it would be less of his responsibility so I'm guessing that might be the best option.

He will have some money with him to book passage and manage for a while to focus upon finding the missing horses. Eventually he'll have run out and will have work for money, leaving him less and less chance to find them, following a cold trail.  That's actually where I'll be at in any rp I'll join. The outlook of ever really finding them, is really grim

I'll add it later tonight. Thanks for reading all!


And indeed, no turban..  I'm having trouble enough as it is with Allahra and Ash-Sharia.  I think they borrow way too much, literally even, from Arab culture and I want to see the Azhorhria as Azhorhria, not just Arabs with a different name. 

[Azhira Styralias]

Ok, Second Approval for you.

[Deklitch Hardin]

Congrats!

Make sure you remove any unneeded colours so that it can be archived for you by the admin

[Shayan Ashkani]

Ok done

Thanks everyone for their time and reading!

[Kalína Dalá'isyrás]

And rearchived!

Advanced search

[Members]

Members Total Members: 2849 Latest: abigailjordan Stats Total Posts: 214569 Total Topics: 8052 Online Today: 67 Online Ever: 216 (November 30, 2006, 09:08:03 AM) Users Online Users: 0 Guests: 22 Total: 22

[Artimidor]

	Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2005, Simple Machines TinyPortal v0.9.8 © Bloc
Theme based on Cerberus with Risen adjustments by Bloc and Krelia Modified By Artimidor for The Santharian Dream