Hylphán'ác'órril - Avennorian, Arthyron; Adventurer/Fighter

Right, my last comments, so far as I can see

One, I wouldn't say so specifically that he has bought his horse two days ago in Caelum, because by the time you get into a story you'll probably have travelled a few days already. I'd just make it 'recently when he was in Caelum' or something of the kind.

Then, there was a small comment I had on your strengths. Let me copy them first.

Strengths:

Although he is highly skilled with the recurve bow and the sword, especially the Shamshir, he has a slight knowledge of the spear as well.

-He is no stranger to battle, and has scars to prove it.

-He has a passing knowledge of Doimo Brawling, though not up to Doimo
standards. His adoptive Doimo family teased him about that all the time. He is proficient enough to best almost anyone that they could beat. This is the one I wanted to comment on. If he can beat almost anyone that they could beat, isn't he up to their standards? Perhaps you can change it to him being able to beat many people who don't know Doimo Brawling (not everyone though

). This should be a very good strength because I don't think there are many Sarvonians who know this skill.

-As with all elves, he is a natural woodsman from his years of traveling, and he can melt into the trees and
become a part of the forest.

Weaknesses:

-He puts too much faith in his first impressions of people, and this has ushered him into troublesome waters more than once.

-He has restricted movement of his right arm, he can only lift it slightly above shoulder level due to a sword thrust in the collarbone area.

-He is a sucker for a kid in trouble, which means he then has to face the person (or
persons) who are mad at the kid.

-He will occasionally push himself past the limits of his endurance, causing physical
collapse, if the situation warrants it. His physical condition will be near comatose for a period of 2 to 3 days. In other words, he had better be somewhere safe when he goes down.

-He hates to see anyone mistreat a horse.

-He will not tolerate anyone mistreating a woman!

-The last two items on the list tend to be frowned on by many, and quite frequently causes trouble. I don't understand this weakness. Why would people frown on the fact that he does not tolerate women being mistreated, or horses? More specifically, how has this caused trouble for him?

When you've adressed these remarks, I think you're ready for your first approval