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Author Topic: Adara Lirt'ohl/Half-Elf/Mercenary  (Read 5687 times)
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Adara
Somber Mercenary
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Half-elf, Ylfferhim/ Shendar


« on: July 26, 2007, 03:28:39 AM »

Name: Adara Lirt'ohl

Gender: Female

Age: 30

Race: Elf/Human

Tribe: Ylfferhim/Shendar (Shen-D'auras or 'Scent-People')


Occupation: Mercenary for hire

Title: Somber Mercenary

Overview: Adara is a subdued, introverted young woman, but with a backbone and superior swordsmanship, she seems to have just the right amount of elf and human in her blood.

Height: 1 Ped, 2 Fores, 2 Palmspans

Weight: 1 Pygge, 2 Hebs

Hair Color: Platinum blonde, almost white

Eye Color: Blue-grey

Physical Appearance: Adara is fairly tall. Her height has only enhanced her though, for her beauty is unique. She has darker skin, of a pale brown color, and a greyish color of almond eyes. Her light blonde hair she lets fall gracefully down her back, it accents her body unnaturally, but somehow it all fits together to form a strikingly beautiful woman. If asked why, though, none could point out a single feature, for her elvish heritage makes each of her features beautiful of its own accord.

Adara has a small, pointed nose, slightly upturned ears, and full lips. She has long, graceful arms and legs and beautiful fingers. Her tall, slender frame is mostly flat, but the abscence of curves has never bothered her. Her rare physical appearance is due to her parentage--an Ylfferhim father, and a Shendar mother. Adara inherited darker skin from her mother, and her blonde hair from her father.

Her left ear has two piercings at the very top, only half an inch apart, a small silver ring set in each hole. She also bears a tattoo down her right arm. It depicts an old, decrepit tree, its roots covering her shoulder, its branches entwining down her arm, the final tips just starting to creep onto her slender hand. The tree represents her Ylfferhim heritage and home in the forest, whereas its dry, peeling bark represents the home of her Shendar mother; the desert.

Clothing: Adara wears simple, close fitting clothing (just a shirt and trousers), usually in black or grey, and covered by a large black hooded cape. She also wears a silver necklace, inlaid with blue stones, and a plain silver band on the fourth finger of her right hand, both given to her by her mother. She also wears high, black boots.

Personality: Adara is introverted. She keeps to herself and her own business, but does not intentionally run others off. Growning up with men, her conversations tend to be short and direct, she likes to stay to the point. She is, however, very interested in those around her. She could sit in a noisy room for hours, quite content in being alone.

Adara is smart, but only sees the very surface of things. She doesn't usually pick out humor or sarcasm from many remarks, and simply takes them how she hears them. She takes her jobs seriously, perseveres and works hard at the task at hand. Adara can be trusted with any information, due to her lack of conversation, she can keep a secret extremely well.

Underneath it all, Adara is gentle and friendly, but her emotions hardly ever show on her beautiful, pale brown face. She is a tomboy from her upbringing, and is hardly emotionally attached to anything other than her family, mostly her older brothers. Her eyes, being her brightest feature, are the only thing that give a glimpse of what she may be thinking.

Adara is also picky about her food. This is a personal choice of her own, not one of her parents or siblings. She prefers natural foods, nuts, fruits, and grains, over meat. This causes for nutrition problems at times, because she would prefer not to eat at all rather than eat a food she wouldn't like.

Strengths and weaknesses:

Strengths:
- Adara is phyiscally strong for a woman, due to her childhood and line of work.
- She has a beautiful, captivating singing voice.

- Adept with a longsword and her long knife.
- Trustworthy. Adara will take any secret to the grave.
- Adara's voice is melodious, so when she does speak or sing, others are

calmed and tend to really listen.

Weaknesses:
- Adara is not forthcoming. She's not chatty, and it's difficult to get any desired information from her.
- Despite her friendly demeanor, Adara's line of work restricts the amount of friends and long-term acquaintances she has. At times she can become very lonely.
- Adara's preference for certain types of food limit her sustenance.
- Adara is prideful. She's often too proud and biased towards her own heritage, despite it's mixed company.
- She knows only protective, brotherly love. Adara is naive, treats men and women as equals, she sees no difference. This can cause those around her confusion, or in Eryn's case, make it much easier for others to say farewell to Adara if their efforts toward her go unnoticed.

History:
Her beauty and strength draw work magnetically to her, and her skill with her longsword proved to be great--carrying before it word of her good services.

As Adara topped the crest of the hill, she looked out over the plain she had set out to cross, Narfost Plain. Her back was shielded by the Sharadon Forests, the beautiful sunrise causing it to glow golden. She closed her almond eyes, her long lashes descending on her high cheekbones, and took in a deep breath of morning air. Her long, nearly white hair rustled a little in the slight breeze, and she stood as a pinnacle, the forefront of the beautiful canvas she was leaving behind. She turned slightly, looking towards the trees once more. On the edge of them she took in a small home. She knew within its bounds her family lay, peacefully sleeping. Not wanting the burden of a goodbye, Adara said her farewells before sleep took them all. She visited her father and mothers room, lightly kissing each of their foreheads with her full lips, smiling at them with her eyes, but not daring to say a word. Her mother's beautiful, dark-skinned face glowing in the moonlit chamber, smiling at her, wishing her the best on her journey. She handed Adara a beautiful silver necklace, one from her very own Shendar tribe, to remind her she had a family, a heritage, and to be proud. Her father's fair, pale skin—Ylfferhim in nature—and beautiful eyes looked down adoringly upon her, and Adara couldn't help but shed a grateful tear as he handed her a long, curved knife. She immediately knew to place it in her tall boot as she set out on her journey. She inclined her head towards him, but he grabbed her and engulfed her in a tight hug, whispering words of encouragement and love to his only daughter.

She let out her breath, tears freely flowing now, and took another step into the day. Her youngest brother had shed a single tear, the next in line comforting him as he shook her hand gruffly, an act that caused her to chuckle even now. She paused only once, to look into the empty, shared room of her two older brothers, noticing a piece of parchment with a wrapped parcel on one of their beds, she stepped silently into the room and examined them. "For our beautiful sister," it read. And as she took the long, wrapped parcel into her lap, she tore the covering off and there lay a beautiful long sword. The craftsmanship was perfect, although she knew it mustn't be brand new, and she clasped it in her hand lovingly as she would have her own brothers. They had been parents pro tempore, as her mother was busy with five children all her life, but she would follow them now, leaving to pursue her own life as her family had always suggested and seen fit. Smiling now, her long sword at her hip, her knife tucked in her boot, Adara was ready to part from her family life and set out on her own adventures. The purse in her side lightly jingled with the money she'd saved over the years. Her pack carried a long black cape, a pair of light gloves, and a bit of fruit and bread until she found a place to hunt or rest for the night. She was ready. She was a woman, strong, beautiful, and prepared to challenge the world.

Over the next few years, Adara kept in mind all the values her parents and siblings taught her while growing as she pursed her career are a mercenary for hire. She was always grateful her parents were unable to choose one of their traditional settings to raise their children in. The Quallian Forest of her father's elven people, and the Rahaz-Dath her mother grew up in were behind them both. The difference in cultures, and their attachment to each, rendered them unable to choose, so they settled neither in a Ylfferhim nor Shendar setting to raise their children: finally choosing a life on the edge of the Sharadon Forests, near the sea and the Narfost Plain. Her father's own childhood taught him freedom, and the freedom she enjoyed now was without guilt. She would travel when and where she wanted, nothing holding her back. Her mother's jingling, joyous laugh rose in Adara's mind, reminding her to laugh, have fun, love the life she was given. Her brother's rough play with practice swords had trained her body and muscles—her long sword was only an extension of her hand, and her knife could be drawn and across a throat within seconds. Her purse gradually filled as she worked over the next few years, until she met Eryn.

Immediately taken by Adara's unnatural beauty, wrought by human and elven heritage, Eryn pleaded with her to stay in his village. After growing with four brothers, a gentle father, and a preoccupied mother, Adara was baffled at this man's behavior. He wasn't a brother, he cared for her in another way. Although Adara was incapable of fully understanding, she agreed to stay with him; to cook and care for him as best she could. Within that time, Eryn's adoration for her skills and beauty grew, but Adara saw this handsome man as if he was another brother to her, and the emotional bond never grew and connected. Eryn's one sided adoration and love would not stop him from leaving for work elsewhere a year later, and Adara said a brief farewell to him, resuming her duty as a mercenary. Her experience with Eryn was hardly forgotten, however, and she wondered if there was something more she should have seen in him. He reminded her of her eldest brother, however, and she was hard pressed to ever be able to think of him otherwise.


Weapons:
At her hip, Adara wears her long sword, given as a gift from her two older brothers. The sword is long, but not too long to be held comfortably in one hand. It's double edge and slightly pointed tip enables it to be used easily for piercing as well as slashing. Her own personal long sword is simple, his scabbard black, polished, with no markings or engravings on it. The hilt is as simple as any, a lighter wooden handle wrapped in leather. Although the blade was new to her, Adara could feel its previous owner's palmprint indented in the leather, and she uses it with pride.

The long, curved knife from her father, Adara treasures. The blade reflects the traditional use from the Quallian, hacking through dense forest area. It is a thin blade, it fits well within her tall boot. She is proud to carry it, polished to perfect, and equally as unafraid to use it.


Belongings: Adara  has few belongings other than her sword, knife, and a light pack she carries with her. She does, however, carry a full purse.

Familiars: None.
« Last Edit: August 02, 2007, 05:18:02 AM by Adara » Logged

"I'd rather die terrified, than live forever."
-Adara-
Roland Hampton
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« Reply #1 on: July 26, 2007, 04:24:22 AM »

Nicely done. Other than some small errors in spelling, I don't see any problems.
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Vesk Lyricahl
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Human, Eyelian


« Reply #2 on: July 26, 2007, 05:09:12 AM »

To honor Pie-kul, Vesk comments in lime!

Name: Adara

Gender: Female

Age: 20 She's incredibly young for an half-elf. You'll need to use the Elf Age Calculator. Right now she's pretty much the half-elven equivalent of a human fifteen year old.

Race: Half-Elf (Ylfferhim), half human (Shendar)

Occupation: Mercenary for hire

Title: Shadow Mercenary

Overview: Adara is a subdued, introverted young woman, but with a backbone and superior swordsmanship, she seems to have just the right amount of elf and human in her blood.

Height: 1 Ped, 2 Fores

Weight: 1 Pygge, 2 Hebs

Hair Color: Platinum blonde, almost white

Eye Color: Blue-grey

Physical Appearance: Adara is tall. At a ped and two fores, she's pretty much the average for human women. I'm fine with her height as it is, I have no problem believing it comes from her human side, but its not really accurate to call her tall, since she isn't. Keep in mind that she could be any height from her current one up to two peds, due to her mixed heritage. Her height has only enhanced her though, for her beauty is unique. She has darker skin, almost of a grey color, which enhances the greyish color of her almond eyes. Grey skin doesn't seem possible to me, not for a half elf. The only human or elven tribe with grey skin is the Moh'rhim, and as you know, they're not playable. From her human heritage she could have dark brown skin, and from her elven heritage she could have pale skin. Or she could have somewhere in the middle, but I don't see a way for either to result in grey skin.  Her light blonde hair she lets fall gracefully down her back, it accents her body unnaturally, but somehow it all fits together to form a strikingly beautiful woman. If asked why, though, none could point out a single feature, for her elvish heritage makes each of her features beautiful of its own accord.

Adara has a small, pointed nose, slightly upturned ears, and very full lips. She has long, graceful arms and legs and beautiful fingers. Her tall, slender frame is mostly flat, but the abscence of curves has never bothered her. Her rare physical appearance is due to her parentage--an Ylfferhim father, and a Shendar mother. Adara inherited darker skin from her mother, and her blonde hair from her father.

Her left ear has two piercings at the very top, only half an inch apart, a small gold ring set in each hole. I wonder what her Shendar mother thinks of her wearing gold, since it is reserved for Foiros among the Shendar. Depending on how close she is to her Shendar heritage, the gold earrings may or may not be feasible. She also bears a tattoo down her right arm. It depicts an old, decrepit tree, its roots covering her shoulder, its branches entwining down her arm, the final tips just starting to creep onto her slender hand. The tree represents her Ylfferhim heritage and home in the forest, whereas its dry, peeling bark represents the home of her Shendar mother; the desert.

Clothing: Adara wears simple, close fitting clothing (just a shirt and trousers), usually in black or grey, and covered by a large black hooded cape. She also wears a silver necklace, inlaid with blue stones, and a plain silver band on the fourth finger of her right hand, both given to her by her mother. She also wears high, black boots.

Personality: Adara is introverted. She keeps to herself and her own business, but does not intentionally run others off. Growning up with men, her conversations tend to be short and direct, she likes to stay to the point. She is, however, very interested in those around her. She could sit in a noisy room for hours, quite content in being alone.

Adara is smart, but only sees the very surface of things. She doesn't usually pick out humor or sarcasm from many remarks, and simply takes them how she hears them. She takes her jobs seriously, perseveres and works hard at the task at hand. Adara can be trusted with any information, due to her lack of conversation, she can keep a secret extremely well.

Underneath it all, Adara is gentle and friendly, but her emotions hardly ever show on her beautiful, stone-colored face. She is a tomboy from her upbringing, and is hardly emotionally attached to anything other than her family, mostly her older brothers. Her eyes, being her brightest feature, are the only thing that give a glimpse of what she may be thinking.

Adara is also picky about her food. This is a personal choice of her own, not one of her parents or siblings. She prefers natural foods, nuts, fruits, and grains, over meat. This causes for nutrition problems at times, because she would prefer not to eat at all rather than eat a food she wouldn't like.

Strengths and weaknesses:

Strengths:
- Adara, due to her Ylfferhim heritage, is exceedingly physically strong. Actually, it would be more like the opposite. While elves are stronger than they appear, it still leaves them weaker than humans. So any strength she possesses is likely to come from her human side. At most, her strength could be a bit more than the average human woman. If you want her to be stronger, then her heritage would have to be different. Really there are only two elven tribes that could lend to her strength in Southern Sarvonia, the Eophyrhim and the Jhehellrhim.
- Adept with a longsword and her long knife.
- Trustworthy. Adara will take any secret to the grave.
- Adara's voice is melodious, so when she does speak or sing, others are

calmed and tend to really listen.

Weaknesses:
- Adara is not forthcoming. She's not chatty, and it's difficult to get any desired information from her.
- Despite her friendly demeanor, Adara's line of work restricts the amount of friends and long-term acquaintances she has. At times she can become very lonely.
- Adara's preference for certain types of food limit her sustenance.
- Adara is prideful. She's often too proud and biased towards her own heritage, despite it's mixed company.
- She knows only protective, brotherly love. Adara is naive, treats men and women as equals, she sees no difference. This can get her into trouble in certain situations.

History:
Adara had an interesting childhood. She was raised in Southern Sarvonia by her Shendar mother, and Ylfferhim father, with five brothers: three older and two younger. I'd like a better idea of where in Southern Sarvonia she was raised, a region would suffice. This map should help. Keep in mind that the Ylfferhim live in the Quallian Forest, and that the Shendar live in the Rahaz-Dath, so anywhere in between would be fine. Throughout her childhood and adolescence, Adara learned and played with her brothers, taking on their characteristics. Less like a lady, Adara became short sighted, direct, and instead of enhancing her appearance and class, she trained her body and practiced with a sword. Her mother, a very loving woman, hardly had time to keep up with all her children, so she set her eldest two sons to look after the rest of the children. Growing up with Bane and Damyn as her parents pro tempore, Adara was well loved and protected, but hardly knew what it meant to be a lady.

The mixture of culture within her family was confusing to her. She learned of her mother's Shendar childhood--traveling in the desert, coming to maturity, proving that she was able to survive the Shendar way of life. Her father, on the other hand, lived in the wilderness, quite a different setting. He seemed to live a freer life, less training and proving self worth than her mother. They were, however, drawn together, as Adara's father was gentlehearted, and easily drawn to the cheerful, joyous personality of her mother. The difference in cultures, and their attachment to each, rendered them unable to choose, so they settled neither in a Ylfferhim nor Shendar setting to raise their children. Adara's father believed wholeheartedly in freedom, and he wanted above all else for his children to choose which path they would travel down. Nevertheless, the importance of pride in one's heritage, was drilled into Adara as she heard her parents' stories. Don't take this the wrong way, but I like the way you've avoided having to describe her being raised according to the Shendar traditions. Usually, someone with a Shendar parent would be more involved in their way of life, but the home you've created settles that issue nicely.

As Adara grew, she longed to see more of the world. She knew her strength and skill could serve her well as a mercenary, and at the age of eighteen, she set out to find work as her two older brothers had, leaving her parents and younger siblings behind, and reassuring them she'd return home from time to time. Traveling alone, she met many along roads and within towns, and it was in a small village that she met a man who took interest in her beyond simple brotherly protection. Baffled and intrigued, Adara stayed with this man for some time, learning what it meant to be loved in a different way. A year passed, and as she lived with him and cared for him, she recieved in return love and adoration for her beauty. This seems to contradict her last weakness. But this adoration for her hardly tied a knot in their bond, for when man was soon called to some business outside the town, he left almost without a second's thought, and although Adara was drawn to him, she found herself with no emotional bond, and she parted ways with him, seeking out work of her own.

Her beauty and incredible strength draw work magnetically to her, and her skill with her longsword proved to be great--carrying before it word of her good services.

Weapons: A functional longsword on her hip, as well as a lengthy knife in her boot.

Belongings: Adara  has few belongings other than her sword and a light pack she carries with her. She does, however, carry a full purse.

Familiars: None.

Great start you have here. ;)
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Adara
Somber Mercenary
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Half-elf, Ylfferhim/ Shendar


« Reply #3 on: July 26, 2007, 09:11:00 AM »

Thanks for the comments. You are seriously quick.

I totally forgot about the aging thing, thank you!

I also forgot to change the skin from when I was using a Moh'rhim, I'm thinking a pale brown/dark tan will suffice.

As for the gold, I read about silver jewelry (Hence the necklace) probably minutes before I added that in... haha I've got serious problems sometimes.

Thanks for your help, we'll see how it is after I edit, although I still have much work to do.
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"I'd rather die terrified, than live forever."
-Adara-
Alassiel Telrúnya
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Elf, Ak’váth’rhím / Injerín


« Reply #4 on: July 26, 2007, 10:32:44 AM »

Adara, you might want to add a 'Tribe:' above your Race. It's just so if a newbie's reading your CD or something, he might not know what you're talking about, cuz you didn't say that the Ylfferhim are a tribe. Also, you need to say which Shendar sub-tribe you're from in brackets. So it might look like:

Tribe: Ylfferhim/Shendar (<<enter Shendar sub-tribe here>>)
Race: Elf/Human
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Adara
Somber Mercenary
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Half-elf, Ylfferhim/ Shendar


« Reply #5 on: July 26, 2007, 10:52:31 AM »

Thank you Alassiel!
« Last Edit: July 26, 2007, 11:52:47 AM by Adara » Logged

"I'd rather die terrified, than live forever."
-Adara-
Adara
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Half-elf, Ylfferhim/ Shendar


« Reply #6 on: July 29, 2007, 03:27:17 AM »

Hello,

Just wanted to say I re-wrote the history section and modified a few other areas, hopefully it's looking better!

Thanks!
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"I'd rather die terrified, than live forever."
-Adara-
Kalína Dalá'isyrás
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« Reply #7 on: July 29, 2007, 03:34:50 AM »

I will give it a look over here shortly Adara ^.^
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Adara
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Half-elf, Ylfferhim/ Shendar


« Reply #8 on: July 29, 2007, 03:37:06 AM »

Thank you  grin
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"I'd rather die terrified, than live forever."
-Adara-
Drexal ben Putin
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Human, Lyr'teimor Kuglim


« Reply #9 on: July 30, 2007, 02:24:51 AM »

Very nicely written.  I have no criticisms, but I am no expert on the other races.  Look forward to you RP'ing.
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Adara
Somber Mercenary
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Half-elf, Ylfferhim/ Shendar


« Reply #10 on: July 30, 2007, 06:05:58 PM »

Thank you for looking it over  grin
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"I'd rather die terrified, than live forever."
-Adara-
Gervase Bertrand
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Human, Centoraurian


« Reply #11 on: July 31, 2007, 01:22:30 AM »

Greetings Adara

Welcome to Santharia!

Your CD is written wonderfully. The only think I could add is perhaps a bit of description on your weapons.

As you probably are already aware there are many different swords, including longswords, and knives that you can choose from.  Perhaps if you looked at some of these you could include a bit more description in this area.

Even without this minor adjustment I think you should have no problem being aproved. :)


Have a great day

Sincerely

Gervase Bertrand
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It can simmer like hot coals when at rest,
Burn fervently with passion,
Sputter and hiss with anger,
Dance with joy,
And Dazzle with wisdom."
Kalína Dalá'isyrás
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« Reply #12 on: July 31, 2007, 01:24:36 AM »

Ok,

With what Gervase said, I already gave your first approval. I am going to speak to Talia, our local Shendar expert and see if she can't take a look at your CD.
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Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
Nai'r en'Lina ar'Kaimel
Adara
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Half-elf, Ylfferhim/ Shendar


« Reply #13 on: July 31, 2007, 04:06:56 AM »

Thank you Gervase, I've added a bit in the weapons area!

And thanks for my first approval Kalina! grin
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"I'd rather die terrified, than live forever."
-Adara-
Mina
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« Reply #14 on: August 01, 2007, 08:54:46 PM »

The CD seems alright, so here's your second approval. 

However, I don't think you are using the term shamshir correctly.  It normally refers to a sabre-like weapon, I believe, not a knife used for clearing foliage. 
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