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- THE CD FORUM POSTICON SYSTEM -

Below is a summary on the posticons used for the character description approval process. The posticon of the first post should always be edited according to the current state of completion of the character description (either by the player, a Moderator or an Administrator).
1) PLAYER - CD is incomplete. Use this posticon if you have not finished your CD. 4) MODERATOR - CD has been approved by one moderator. A second mod's approval is needed.
2) PLAYER - CD is completed. Use this if you have finished working on your CD. 5) MODERATOR - CD has been approved by two moderators. An Administrator should soon take care of the titling.
3) MODERATOR - An expert's opinion is needed. The specific field in which the expert's help is needed should be added to the title. 6) ADMINISTRATOR - An administrator has titled the character, and the thread will soon be moved to the CD Archives.
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Author Topic: Fanro Sralond, JHEHELLRHIM, trade  (Read 42 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
jt
Guest
« on: October 16, 2007, 01:16:40 PM »

Name:Fanro Sralond
Gender:Male
age:35
race:elven
tribe:JHEHELLRHIM
occupation:trade
title:assasin
description:reddish brown coloured in skin, with blond hair(shoulder length). sly features. Muscular. Light beard. Suspicious looking. Black clothing and leather armor on chest, shins, and hands. 2.5 meters tall(2 Peds, 1 Fore, 1 Palmspan, 6 Nailsbreadths, 3 Grains.). Light blue eyes
personality:sneaky and quiet.
Strengths:quick, able to hide easily and strong.
Weaknesses:cant cope in tough situations.
History:born in Carmalad. Parents killed when at the age of 10. learnt to fight and hunt on his own. Got into criminal activity at the age of 16. learnt to kill silently at the age of 18. became an assasin at the age of 25. killed the person that taught him shortly after becoming an assasin. Has been trying to find people of his own race since the age of 29. gained his weapons through doing assassinations. Silver ring given to him by his parents before they died.
weapons:dual short scimitars, long bow  and a quiver full of arrows.
Belongings:a silver ring


« Last Edit: October 18, 2007, 02:53:27 AM by Twn Arerwn » Logged
Simonne Miller
Meddling Herbalist
CD Mod
***
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Gender: Female
Posts: 906


Human, Caltharian


« Reply #1 on: October 16, 2007, 03:11:10 PM »

Hello Feanaro, and welcome to Santharia!

You say that you are 35 years old. This is actually very young for an elf, maybe not like a child but he'd certainly not be seen as adult yet.
In your appearance, you don't have to tell us what it says in the entry about the Jhehellrhim, tell us what this particular elf looks like. For example, I don't see what you mean with 'earthen and human-like' (yes I know that's what it says in the entry), but describe him to us so that we can see him in our minds.
Are you sure you want to have gold armour? This material is VERY heavy to wear, even heavier than metal, and it gives almost no protection because it's a very soft kind of metal.

What I mostly miss though, is details. Please take a look at approved characters to see what level of detail we ask, especially in the Personality and History sections. Your CD doesn't have to be one of the longest, it's the quality that matters and not the quantity, but we still ask a certain amount of information which you unfortunately don't reach at this moment.

I hope I helped you a little on the way to character approval :)

With regard,
Simonne
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Youth is the gift of nature, but age is a work of art...

Simonne Miller
Twn Arerwn
Melancholy Mage
CD Mod
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 1755


Elf, Iferhm


« Reply #2 on: October 18, 2007, 02:48:26 AM »

Hello Fanro and welcome to Santharia! Your CD should contain more details throughout, you must keep in mind that story-mods will read this to determine your allowance into their stories.

Grammatically speaking, you need to watch punctuation, capitalization and sentence structure. Most of what you have written are not complete sentences. This makes it very hard at times to grasp the ideas you're trying to express.

Looking over some approved CDs might help you a bit. Please follow the link to "Approved Character Archives II". Read a few of them to get a solid idea of what we as "mods" are looking for.
~Sincerely~
Co f cr'tuuln:Twen Araerwen
« Last Edit: October 18, 2007, 02:53:02 AM by Twn Arerwn » Logged

he pe e pon the rowd ike a ragon, ncient and u o eath
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