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Author Topic: Dorj Bluebark, Milken Brownie, Fire Mage  (Read 158 times)
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Dorj Bluebark
New Santharian

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Posts: 60



« on: October 29, 2007, 03:12:34 PM »

   Name
Dorj Bluebark
   Gender
Male
   Age
27
   Race
Brownie
    Tribe
(Milken) Bluebark Brownie

   Occupation
Mage
   Title
Flaming Maniac

    Appearance

Height
Slightly more than a palmspan, specifically 1 palmspan 4 nailsbredths
 
Hair Colour
Blue

Eye Colour
Blue

Physical Appearance
As an Bluebark brownie, Dorj has a complexion that makes him look like a walking woad leaf. His hair, skin and eyes are all blueish-green though it is rather dark for blue. He has a very lean build almost skeletal in some respects and is very light on his feet. Dorj's hair is clipped very short, leaving very little chance of it catching on fire, in case Dorj happens to stop paying attention to a fire, or if something should backfire. Dorj's palms and fingers are a network of tiny, and in some cases not so tiny burn scars from the early attempts at taming his familar, as well as several...acidents with fire magic.
 

Clothing
Dorj wears a thick, black robe most of the time, usually when it isn't necessary to be seen. The robe has a few enhancements, being fireproof for instance The robe covers the wearer from head to ankles, and has two parts, the black robe on the inside, and an over robe of grey rockmoss on the outside. This over-robe is a light cloak with arms and a hood but does not split and is meant to be worn over another garment.

    Personality
Dorj is something of an alcoholic, and possesses a slightly magnetic personality, in that he's attracted to anywhere with people. Dorj possesses a tendency to not know his limitations and a penchant for trying to burn anything, nailed down, flamable or not, alive...or not. Dorj views people incredibly cynically and views what could be called, albeit laughably: the supernatural, with disdain and even more cynicism than usual. Dorj's world is a very carefully crafted schollarly sort of fiction, with no little crossing outs or footnotes, it's even apparently annotated and indexed, though Dorj tends not to bother looking there.

    Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths
Dorj is a gifted mage, skilled in the use of most low level fire magic, and specializing in flame manipulation.
He is a skilled bowman in his own right (being the size of a brownie) and adept at handling flaming weapons (arrows, spears etc.) without burning himself often.

Weaknesses
Dorj is an alcoholic, he has a very poor sense of judgement when it comes to how much do drink. Owing to the fact that his much smaller body succumbs to the effects of alcoholic beverages rather fast because of the comparative content of alcohol.
Dorj is a complete pyromaniac; he has difficulty occasionally controlling some of the larger blazes he creates, and occasionally winds up burning himself. Fire usually comes up in the conversations with Dorj, and to no good end; Dorj usually gets a look about him while talking about fire.
Dorj has a distinct accent when speaking in most languages other than the helcrani dialect, which is to say it becomes rather difficult to understand him the faster he talks. Unfortunately, Dorj talks fast most of the time.

   Magic
Dorj is proficient in the manipulation of the properties of light and heat within his element . He specializes in starting fires, and controlling them via magic. Usually for...slightly less than moral purposes. Dorj specializes in Flame Control and related spells, including Quell Flame (for theoretical situations where someone might not actually want a fire) and Rise Flame (used much during combat.). He has ignored many of the spiritual aspects of the element and is unskilled in them, as well as anything that doesn't directly involve actual physical fire (ie. Searing.) He does however have some arrows with packets of reagents attached to them to be used as flares in concert with sparkling stream, and understands the principle (if not the reasoning) behind Extinguish. While not quite as accomplished Dorj also understands how to create a (brownie sized) Quilrosh's Fireball. The original attempts with this spell went...badly.



   History
 Dorj was raised in Milkengrad along with several siblings. The family lived under, in and generally about the home of a mage. They cleaned, occasionally (the master of the house didn't like things being disturbed) sometimes changed the candles if they'd run low, and put things in order after the master of the house had gone to bed and was asleep, which was precious little time anyway. The master of the house was a fairly calm, elderly man, and owned a much more, vigorous and... angry, Scorcher. The scorcher, a rather unintelligent brute of a beast usually hampered the attempts of the brownies to tend to the old building and was a general nuisance, including not understanding how to back off after being caught in a net for the umpteenth time, to the little folk. Dorj would watch from underneath floorboards and on rafters as the wizard spent his days doing magic. On one occasion Dorj fell from on top of the bookcase he was using as a perch almost on to a candle. The candle went out swiftly as Dorj fell. The wizard examined his intruder and found the brownie to be "an adequate learner". The small brownie became the wizard's "assistant". He was rather good at fetching things, having been through many of the nooks and crannies of the house several times over. At first he dabled in what might be called simple alchemy. As he grew better, Dorj begged the wizard to teach him how to do magic. Dorj had a...unique understanding, of fire. He understood nuance and nature. Fire was like air to Dorj. The aging sage spent the last twelve years of his life teaching Dorj fire magic (at a small price, Dorj was of course obliged to be come the wizard's envoy.) When he died he bequeathed the scorcher, Rockhead, and his small collection of books to Dorj. Dorj left shortly afterwards, travelling the world. Rockhead was domesticated, albiet with much difficulty.

    Belongings
Dorj possesses a variety of reagents for fire related magic, including sulphur and the like, several small ingots of metal, for his ferret to eat. Dorj also possesses a saddle, treated to be slightly more fire proof, that encircles the ferret's torso; this particular item Dorj had made by several brownies that lived under a tannery. Several small bottles of a rather well aged ale or mead, though these usually empty themselves quickly. Dorj carries all of these in a satchel that he wears at his side.

   Familiars
Dorj rides a fire ferret, simply called Rockhead. Though it is not the most intelligent of animals, Rockhead is an incredibly useful mount, being able to survive extreme heat, and immune to poison. Dorj is also quite prone to using some of the sulphur excreted by the ferret as a reagent for fire magic. Rockhead is roughly 4 nailsbredths taller than Dorj and about a handspan and a half long. Rockhead was inherited from the old mage who lived in the house that Dorj and his family tended to.
« Last Edit: December 20, 2007, 02:21:01 AM by Dorj Bluebark » Logged
Dorj Bluebark
New Santharian

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Posts: 60



« Reply #1 on: November 16, 2007, 01:22:05 AM »

Roight, so the history innit quite so shiny but I can work on that. Let's put this up there! One! Two! Three *Dorj pulls the CD up to the top.* Comments please!
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Twn Arerwn
Melancholy Mage
CD Mod
***
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Gender: Female
Posts: 2471


Elf, Iferhm


« Reply #2 on: November 16, 2007, 05:34:16 AM »

Dorj, I have inspected your magic section as requested. Really there is not much to comment on in that particular section. I would recommend some major revisions in that area, especially in defining what you can and can not do with magic. Maybe sighting some examples of what he has done in the past, possibly specific properties of fire that he excels in. Since you seem to hint at a select few properties that he manipulates exclusively. Maybe a look over Thorgas's magic section or my own would assist in this.
~Sincerely~
Co f cr'tuuln:Twen Araerwen
« Last Edit: November 16, 2007, 05:50:05 AM by Twn Arerwn » Logged

he pe e pon the rowd ike a ragon, ncient and u o eath
Dorj Bluebark
New Santharian

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Posts: 60



« Reply #3 on: November 16, 2007, 06:01:26 AM »

Roight! Will do! Roight lads, ye heard tha bigjob! Hop to it!
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Twn Arerwn
Melancholy Mage
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Posts: 2471


Elf, Iferhm


« Reply #4 on: November 17, 2007, 08:54:28 PM »

   Magic
Dorj can bend fire is quite proficient in the manipulation of the properties of light and heat within his element. to his will. He specializes in starting fires, and controling<--controlling them via magic. Usually for...slightly less than moral purposes?. Dorj specializes in Flame Control and related spells, including Quell Flame (for theoretical situations where someone might not actually want a fire) and Rise Flame (used much during combat.). He has ignored many of the spiritual aspects of the element and is unskilled in them, as well as anything that doesn't directly involve the physical aspects of fire (ie. Searing.)
Space New Paragraph
He does however have some arrows with packets of reagents attached to them (In truth the arrows could be dusted with sulfer to accomplish this affect.) to be used as flares in concert with Ssparkling Sstream, and understands the principle (if not the reasoning) behind Extinguish. While not quite as accomplished Dorj also understands how to create a (brownie sized) Quilrosh's Fireball. The original attempts with this spell went...badly.

A few useful links to help you polish up your magic.
Properties Discussion
Interesting Read for beginning Magi
Cutting edge but not completely fact
Ounia - A trip into the unknown with Rayne
~Sincerely~
Co cr'tuulens:Twen Araerwen
« Last Edit: November 17, 2007, 08:57:26 PM by Twn Arerwn » Logged

he pe e pon the rowd ike a ragon, ncient and u o eath
Simonne Miller
Meddling Herbalist
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Posts: 1284


Human, Caltharian


« Reply #5 on: November 20, 2007, 09:50:58 AM »

   Name
Dorj Bluebark
   Gender
Male
   Age
27
   Race
Brownie
    Tribe
(Milken) Bluebark Brownie

   Occupation
Mage
   Title
Flaming Maniac
   Overview
Dorj is, to put it mildly, quite insane, he rides a fire ferret, a highly dangerous animal to begin with, and being a fire mage, makes it twice as dangerous as part of a duo. This sentence is not entirely clear. makes what twice as dangerous? Dorj or the ferret?
    Appearance

Height
Slightly more than a palmspan, specifically 1 palmspan 4 nailsbredths
 
Hair Colour
Blue

Eye Colour
Blue

Physical Appearance
As an Bluebark brownie, Dorj has a complexion that makes him look like a walking woad leaf. His hair, skin and eyes are all blue, with a slight hint of green though it is rather dark for blue. This sentence is not clear. Are his hair, skin and eyes rather dark for blue, or is the green rather dark for blue? If the first, put it a little closer to what it's referring to, if the second it doesn't really make sense to me. He has a very lean build, almost skeletal in some respects, and is very light on his feet. Being such a dark shade in all respects Dorj has a venerable dislike for the sun and is about most of the night. What has his colouring to do with his dislike of the sun? This would probably be something for Personality.
 

Clothing
Dorj wears a thick, black robe most of the time, usually when it isn't necessary to be seen. The robe has a few enhancements, being fireproof for instance. The robe covers the wearer from head to ankles, and is in has two parts, the black robe on the inside, and an over robe of grey rockmoss on the outside. I thought you just said that the robe was black? So how does it have grey on the outside? The robe is only slightly lighter than his skin in shade and further enhances his natural ability to be relatively unseen. Black is lighter than blue?

    Personality
Dorj is something of an alcoholic, and possesses a slightly magnetic personality, in that he's attracted to anywhere with people. Magnetic means people are attracted to him. Dorj possesses a tendency to not know his limitations and a penchant for trying to burn anything, nailed down, flamable or not. Is there nothing more you can tell us about who Dorj is? What does he think of people? Does he sometimes laugh for no reason at all? You could add the thing about coming out mostly at night. You do realise that something like that will seriously limit your interaction with other people, don't you? Most people tend to sleep at night.

    Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths
Dorj is a gifted mage, skilled in the use of most low level fire magic, and specializing in flame manipulation.
He is a skilled bowman in his own right (being the size of a brownie) and adept at handling flaming weapons (arrows, spears etc.) without burning himself often.

Weaknesses
Dorj is an alcoholic, he has a very poor sense of judgement when it comes to how much do drink. Owing to the fact that his much smaller body succumbs to the effects of alcoholic beverages rather fast because of the comparative content of alcohol.
Dorj is very much a lightweight when it comes to drinking, partly as a result of being very small, partly as a result of not knowing where to stop. Was this supposed to be a second weakness? If so, you say exactly the same thing as in the first weakness.
Dorj is a complete pyromaniac; he has difficulty occasionally controlling some of the larger blazes he creates, and occasionally winds up burning himself. Fire usually comes up in the conversations with Dorj, and to no good end; Dorj usually gets a look about him while talking about fire.
Dorj has a distinct accent when speaking in most languages other than the helcrani dialect, which is to say it becomes rather difficult to understand him the faster he talks. Unfortunately, Dorj talks fast most of the time.

   Magic
Dorj is proficient in the manipulation of the properties of light and heat within his element . He specializes in starting fires, and controlling them via magic. Usually for...slightly less than moral purposes? Dorj specializes in Flame Control and related spells, including Quell Flame (for theoretical situations where someone might not actually want a fire) and Rise Flame (used much during combat.). He has ignored many of the spiritual aspects of the element and is unskilled in them, as well as anything that doesn't directly involve actual physical fire (ie. Searing.) He does however have some arrows with packets of reagents attached to them to be used as flares in concert with sparkling stream, and understands the principle (if not the reasoning) behind Extinguish. While not quite as accomplished Dorj also understands how to create a (brownie sized) Quilrosh's Fireball. The original attempts with this spell went...badly.



   History
 Dorj was raised in Milkengrad along with several siblings. The family lived under, in and generally about the home of a mage. They cleaned, occasionally (the master of the house didn't like things being disturbed) sometimes changed the candles if they'd run low, and put things in order after the master of the house had gone to bed and was asleep.(which was precious little time anyway.) So they sometimes didn't change the candles? Did it go dark in the house then? Also, my suggestion for the end of the sentence: 'asleep, which was not very often.
Space new paragraph

The master of the house was a fairly elderly man, and owned a much more, vigorous and... angry, Scorcher. The scorcher, a rather unintelligent brute of a beast usually hampered the attempts of the brownies to tend to the old building and was a general nuisance (including not understanding how to back off after being caught in a net for the umpteenth time.) to the little folk. I'd take the sentence between brackets and put it at the end, with 'for example' or something in front of it.
Space new paragraph

Dorj would watch from underneath floorboards and on rafters as the wizard spent his days doing magic. On one occasion Dorj fell from on top of the bookcase he was using as a perch almost on to a candle. The candle went out swiftly as the wizard examined his intruder. This sounds as if the candle went out because the wizard examined Dorj. Also, the next sentence comes kinda suddenly. Why did the wizard decide to make the brownie his assistant? The small brownie became the wizard's "assistant". He was rather good at fetching things, having been through many of the nooks and crannies of the house several times over.
Space new paragraph
At first he dabled dabbled in what might be called simple alchemy. As he grew better, Dorj begged the wizard to teach him how to do magic. Dorj had a... unique understanding, of fire. He understood nuance and nature. Fire was like air to Dorj the brownie. The aging sage spent the last twelve years of his life teaching Dorj fire magic (at a small price, Dorj was of course obliged to be come stay, he already was the assistant the wizard's assistant.) When he died he bequeathed the scorcher, Rockhead, and his small collection of books to Dorj. Dorj left shortly afterwards, travelling the world. So what did he do with the books? And if the scorcher was such a stupid brute, how did Dorj learn to ride him? And where did he learn to use a bow and the spears?


   Weapons
Dorj uses a bow, scaled down to the size of a brownie, and flammable arrows to channel his fire magic through. Being of a low level, it is much easier for him to control existing fire than it is to conjure it. But the arrows are surely not burning all the time, so before he fights he surely has to conjure a fire to light them?He carries several larger burning spears; elongated pieces of wood (treated) with a flammable end in case of close combat.

    Belongings
Dorj possesses a variety of reagents for fire related magic, including sulphur and the like,. He has several small ingots of metal, for his ferret to eat. Dorj also possesses a saddle, treated to be slightly more fire proof, that encircles the ferret's torso. Could you tell us in the history where you got that saddle? He also possesses that most important Brownie tool, a hunting knife roughly the length of his forearm, and how did he get that? Milken brownies aren't used to hunting, so why would he have a hunting knife? and also, several small bottles of a rather well aged ale or mead, though these usually empty themselves quickly.

   Familiars
Dorj rides a fire ferret, simply called Rockhead. Though it is not the most intelligent of animals, Rockhead is an incredibly useful mount, being able to survive extreme heat, and immune to poison. Dorj is also quite prone to using some of the sulphur excreted by the ferret as a reagent for fire magic. Rockhead is roughly 4 nailsbredths taller than Dorj and about a handspan and a half long. Rockhead was inherited from the old mage who lived in the house that Dorj and his family tended to.

All right, that's it for now. I will change your posticon to the pencil icon, you can change it back when you've taken care of these things :)
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Youth is the gift of nature, but age is a work of art...

Simonne Miller
Dorj Bluebark
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Posts: 60



« Reply #6 on: November 20, 2007, 03:04:51 PM »

@ Simonne
Of course they'd have to be pre-lit (the arrows) but you don't have to use a magical fire to light them.
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Dorj Bluebark
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Posts: 60



« Reply #7 on: November 29, 2007, 02:59:11 AM »

Right, fixy fixy! S'all fixed up...okeee maybe not qoite all off it, but s'nuff. *whispering* No? Really? S'alright we've just got to fix the big long bit there...a wossername...history!
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Dorj Bluebark
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Posts: 60



« Reply #8 on: December 19, 2007, 12:11:35 AM »

Oi! S'done!
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