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- THE CD FORUM POSTICON SYSTEM -

Below is a summary on the posticons used for the character description approval process. The posticon of the first post should always be edited according to the current state of completion of the character description (either by the player, a Moderator or an Administrator).
1) PLAYER - CD is incomplete. Use this posticon if you have not finished your CD.  4) MODERATOR - CD has been approved by one moderator. A second mod's approval is needed.
 2) PLAYER - CD is completed. Use this if you have finished working on your CD.  5) MODERATOR - CD has been approved by two moderators. An Administrator should soon take care of the titling.
 3) MODERATOR - An expert's opinion is needed. The specific field in which the expert's help is needed should be added to the title.  6) ADMINISTRATOR - An administrator has titled the character, and the thread will soon be moved to the CD Archives.
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Author Topic: Car'reoll/ meladrhim/ blacksmith/ adventurer  (Read 401 times)
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car'reoll
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« on: November 02, 2007, 09:01:37 AM »

    Name:Car'reoll Mies'efer'oh (Means: Heart Starlight)


    Gender: male

    Age: 130

    Race: Elf

    Tribe: Meladrhim (Grey Elves)

    Occupation: blacksmith and adventurer

    Title: Ranger

    Height: 2 peds

    Weight: 1 pygge and 6 Heb

    Hair Color: very light blond

    Eye Color: Green

    Appearance: Car'reoll is slender, but muscular. Has a star shaped birthmark on his right arm.
    His hair has grown to about the middle of his back, his left pointer finger has been bitten off by a wolf. His skin is White almost pale.
     
    Clothing: Normally he wears a light green tunic with gold lace, with brown pants, when he is a blacksmith he wears a brown leather apron and on adventures he wears leather armor. Also he wears two metal bracelets on his wrists.

    Personality: Car'reoll is very curios, he loves to learn though it takes him a long time because he goes into such detail, but others say he still rushes a bit. He views everything as a challenge, he can be very serious, mainly when he is trying to focus on one thing. When he is not serious he can be very funny and likes to joke. Car'reoll likes spending time with people mostly elves but he still does not mind others. Though he does not like every thing in the world he knows he can't change everything so he ignores it. Though when someone is annoying he has as hard time ignoring it and can blow up.

    Strengths:
    • Knowledgeable about places, other race and many other things
    • Endurance
    • Smooth fighter (learned fighting also from firend)
    • Good blacksmith

    Weaknesses
    • Not so fast (Reason: he is just not the fastest compared to other elves
    • A bit pridefull (reason: this can seem a littel annoying at times)
    • Can have a short temper

    Magic: none

    history: For most of his life he lived alone, his parents died in an earlier battle. When he was about 30. After his parents died he was taken in by a close friend until he was able to live on his own. He was an apprentice to this friend who was a blacksmith. He works as a blacksmith when he his in his home town and any were else when needed. In his years he has traveled all across the land learning and sometimes fighting. In some of his battles he has obtained swords and weapons which he studies and uses to make other weapons. In one of his travels he came across a wounded hawk which he took in and healed it, after it was healed the hawk would not leave so now it his his own. During the same adventure he was attacked by a pack of wolfs but all they got from him was is finger. Also during his travels he has met many blacksmiths and learned their techniques and how to make various weapons.

    Weapons: bow, Double Kilij Blade (got after a battle), spear, makes most of his weapons himself

    Belongings: Car'reoll has various weapons from battles and his travels. Also when he travels he brings only the necessities like blanket, fire supply, weapons ect.

    familiars: A hawk which he takes when travailing. He calls him Rain (meaning warrior)[/list][/list]
    « Last Edit: November 17, 2007, 09:17:00 PM by Twén Aråerwén » Logged
    Rookie Brownbark
    Skydiver
    Approved Character
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    Gender: Female
    Posts: 778


    Brownie, Llaoihrr


    « Reply #1 on: November 02, 2007, 12:48:00 PM »

    Hey Car'reoll,

    Just a few points to get you going :)

    ~ Grey elves are known for being, well, grey.  Their hair is always blonde unless they've dyed it.

    ~ Capitilisation please!  Also pop it through a spellchecker.

    ~Your account name should be the same as your characters - you can change it in your profile.

    ~ Have a look in the approved characters archive to see the level of detail we usually look for in a CD.  As this is what the story mods will look at when you ask to enter a story you might want to show off a few more of your writing skills  :)

    ~ You can't teach yourself to be a blacksmith, you need to learn from someone.  This applies to weapon skills too.

    ~ Mithrel is restricted (as you can see here Restrictions) and requires a very good story to possess it.  Its probably easier if you drop it.

    ~ The Double Kilij Blade is a Shedar weapon, how did your character get it or learn to make it?  (The Shedar are a desert tribe living in Southern Sarvonia, your tribe live in Northern Sarvonia)

    I hope that helps you on your way to approval

    Rookie x
    « Last Edit: November 02, 2007, 12:48:44 PM by Rookie Brownbark » Logged

    Helvíl
    The Cold Pilgrim
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    Posts: 384


    Half-Elf, Korweynite/ Kaýrrhem


    « Reply #2 on: November 02, 2007, 01:53:15 PM »

    Another thing that I don't think Rookie has said is about the age. Elves lives for more than a century and a 27 years old elf would be seen as a child.

    And your skills must also be with your age. Elves tend to focus on one thing before diving into another topic.

    aNOTHER THINg is your magic. Magic is complicated thus it cannot be self-taught. Your magic section must include what he can and cannot do.
    Logged

    "Twice now that I have turned my back, there will be no third"
    "Helvíl Ypheren"
    car'reoll
    New Santharian

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    Posts: 20


    « Reply #3 on: November 03, 2007, 03:19:49 AM »

    How else can i make my CD better, please give details. thanks so far.
    Also were can i get most of my info.
    Logged
    Inkear
    Tís'áel
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    Cat, Wilderon


    WWW
    « Reply #4 on: November 03, 2007, 03:23:41 AM »

    Not having magic isn't a weakness. You have to base your weaknesses on normal people, same with strengths. Normal people can't use magic either so it's not a weakness, by contrast, a mage could be really physically frail (years of book learning could do that)
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    car'reoll
    New Santharian

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    Posts: 20


    « Reply #5 on: November 03, 2007, 03:30:42 AM »

    thank you
    what is a good age for my character and any history suggestions.
    Logged
    Helvíl
    The Cold Pilgrim
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    Posts: 384


    Half-Elf, Korweynite/ Kaýrrhem


    « Reply #6 on: November 03, 2007, 08:13:41 PM »

      I will give you a uri-check... in
      green

      Name:Car'reoll any last name?

      Gender: male

      Age: 60 (I would like to inform you that your character will live up to 600 years..

      race: meladrhim (Grey Elves)

      Tribe: Grey Elves

      Occupation: blacksmith

      Title: Ranger (How come your a blacksmith with a title of a ranger?

      Hight: 2peds

      Wait: 1 pygge and 2 Heb

      Hair Color: Light grey (So did he dye this?)

      Eye Color: Green

      Appearance: Slender but muscular, Has a Star shaped birth mark on his arm, light skin, Can you describe him more? Please use complete sentences
       
      Clothing: normally he wears a light green tunic with gold lace, with brown pants, when travailing on adventures he wears a light green robe
      (same comment as above)
      Personality: nice, loves to learn new things, curious, likes to go on adventures, kind to most people, mostly serious but has a sense of humor and likes to joke.
      (Same comment as above)
      Strengths:

      Knowledgeable about places, other race and many other things
      Endurance
      smooth fighter (learned fighting also from firend) (Elves learn things slowly but with depth unlike humans so an elf would focus on one thing for many years before going to another topic...
      good blacksmith (I doubt that he will be a good blacksmith because of his age. Remember that elves lears slowly but more deeply.
      (Please state how can these be a strenght of his?

      Weaknesses

      not so fast
      a bit pridefull

      (Can you also say how these can be a weakness? And also you have to balance your character. He knows how to fight and to forge...
      Magic: none

      history: For most of his life he lived alone, his parents died in an earlier battle. When he was about six. Works as a blacksmith when he is in his home town and other places if needed. Known mostly for his knowledge and kindness. After his parents died he was taken in by a close friend until he was able to live on his own (A 60 years old elf would be considered to be a young teenager...). He was an apprentice to this firend who was a blacksmith. In his years he has traveled all across the land learning and sometimes fighting. In some of his battles he has obtained swords and weapons which he studies and uses to make other weapons. In one of his travels he came across a wounded hawk which he took in and healed it, after it was healed the hawk would not leave so now it his his own. Also during his travels he has met many blacksmiths and learned their techniks and how to make various weapons
       
      Weapons: bow, Double Kilij Blade (got after a battle), spear, makes most of his weapons himself

      Belongings: Various weapons from battles and his travels.

      familiars: A hawk which he takes when travailing. He calls him Rain (meaning warrior)[/list][/list]

      (Just a note that you have to state how you got these things and how in your history... You don't just write it after the object. Show us the story on how he acquired these objects...
      Logged

      "Twice now that I have turned my back, there will be no third"
      "Helvíl Ypheren"
      Jiro Koshi
      Backshadow Assassin
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      Gender: Male
      Posts: 601


      Human, Kanapan/Kasumarii


      « Reply #7 on: November 03, 2007, 08:38:24 PM »

      (Actually, Helvil;
      21 human years = 62 meladrhim years)

      @ Car'reoll: You really really need to hit spell check when you modify your post.
      Logged




      ~::Heroes: The Emergence::~
      Helvíl
      The Cold Pilgrim
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      Posts: 384


      Half-Elf, Korweynite/ Kaýrrhem


      « Reply #8 on: November 03, 2007, 09:43:42 PM »

      Yes I am quite informed about that... But unlike Humans which would consider a 21 years old a grown up; elves would treat a 62 years old as a teenager since elves have a different aging process and maturity process (I think)  grin
      Logged

      "Twice now that I have turned my back, there will be no third"
      "Helvíl Ypheren"
      Jiro Koshi
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      Gender: Male
      Posts: 601


      Human, Kanapan/Kasumarii


      « Reply #9 on: November 03, 2007, 11:21:47 PM »

      You misunderstand, Helvil. At age 62, the meladrhim elf would be treated/appear as if he is 21. Whether or not the age of 62 is accepted adulthood among the meladrhim, that is irrelevant to the point that he is in fact 21 in human years, not early-to-mid teens, as you say.
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      car'reoll
      New Santharian

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      Posts: 20


      « Reply #10 on: November 04, 2007, 12:50:34 AM »

      thanks to all. Any more help I'm open to criticism. :) azn
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      Kalína Mërénwèn
      Bringer of Song and Dreams
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      Elf, Mélad'rhím/ Injerín


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      « Reply #11 on: November 04, 2007, 04:04:04 AM »

      Learn how to spell and make complete sentences and you will probably receive more dedicated comments. It isn't difficult to run your CD through a spell check! We even have one built into the posting system for you.
      Logged

      Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
      Lady Kalina
      car'reoll
      New Santharian

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      Posts: 20


      « Reply #12 on: November 04, 2007, 04:19:28 AM »

       :undecided:I do, I don't now why people say i haven't.
      Are the words not the right ones. Undecided :P
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      car'reoll
      New Santharian

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      « Reply #13 on: November 04, 2007, 04:25:39 AM »

      Also I know I'm the best speller, I try, can people give me some slack. My misspelling is at least logical. I'm also not the best at using the spell check.
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      Kalína Mërénwèn
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      Elf, Mélad'rhím/ Injerín


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      « Reply #14 on: November 04, 2007, 04:28:31 AM »

      Height
      Weight
      leather
      wears
      curious
      friend
      etc.
      Logged

      Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
      Lady Kalina
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