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Author Topic: Alia Zenrose/ Helcrani/ Aventurer-Ranger  (Read 5809 times)
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Alia Zenrose
The Willful Ranger
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Gender: Female
Posts: 11


Human, Helcrani


« on: November 06, 2007, 01:40:23 PM »

Name: Alia Zenrose

Gender: Female

Age: 17

Race: Human

Tribe: Helcrani

Title: The Willful Ranger

Occupation: Adventurer/Ranger. She travels, but will fight for money, or for free if she thinks it's important. She will also sell her drawings.

Appearance:

   Height: 1 ped and 3 palmspans
   Weight: 1 pygge and 1 heb
   Hair Color: Darkish Blonde with Strawberry Blonde Highlights
   Eye Color: Gray
Physical Appearance:
   Head:
                Alia has a clear face, hardly any blemishes, and her cheeks tend to be rosy. She has thin eyebrows which arc over her Gray eyes. Her eyes will turn into a blue-gray when she is under lots of stress or ill. Her lips are full and red, and she has dimples when she smiles. A sincere smile from Alia is open mouthed, where you can see her white teeth. Her Blonde hair is on the darker side, and has strawberry blonde highlights. Her hair is in between curly and straight so that the hair closer to the top of her head is straight, and there are bouncy curls at the end. It’s usually pulled back out of her face into single ponytail. When it is down, it is pulled over so that it drapes over her right shoulder.
   Body:
                 Alia is actually quite muscular from the years of travel and fighting, even though she looks thin. Most of her muscles are in her legs, though she has a lot of upper arm strength too. She is average height, and has a nice figure.

Clothes:
                 Alia doesn’t wear much jewelry, just a silver circlet around her left wrist. It was a gift from her mother and she hardly ever takes it off. She actually likes men’s clothing better than women’s because men’s is more fit for travel, but she has incorporated in some women fashions to make her own style. Through all of her travels she sees different types of clothing, and doesn’t have a specific tribe’s style. She wears a light brown, long-sleeved blouse, but the sleeve on the right side has been cut off and it has a scoop necked collar. She wears tight dark brown breeches that are cut off just below the knee, and are tucked into her knee length dark brown leather boots. Over her pants, she wears a light brown skirt with a dark brown pattern on the bottom. The skirt is cut on the side so that Alia can fight freely, and not worry about being too immobile. It is knee length and a belt is worn around her waist to attach the skirt to her breeches.



Personality:

   Alia is a pretty nice person. She can get irritated very easily, but she doesn’t tend to show it. She doesn’t like to show a lot of her emotions. Around her good friends, she would be very talkative and laugh a lot, but around those she doesn’t know too well, she is very shy and will blush whenever someone looks at her too long. She can be very self-conscious, and fidget under other’s gazes. She is very optimistic, and will always look to the brighter side of things even in gravest situations, which will cause some people to not take her seriously. The better she knows you the more she will open up and not be so shy around. She always seems to be happy and it never looks like anything fazes her, but she really is very emotional and there are many things that can upset her. She will obsess if someone has been staring at her, and will start becoming jumpy if anyone looks suspicious. She also tends to act a bit spacey, but she actually is a deep thinker. She doesn’t like to cry, especially in front of others, and she hardly ever gets angry. She does have the occasional off-day where she will be in a bad mood. Alia will be very quiet and will ignore some people if she doesn’t feel like answering, or she will answer but it will have a moody tone.

               She is a perfectionist when it comes to some things, like her art. If something is even the slightest bit off, she will start over. Also, she likes to get her hair in a ponytail where there is no extra hair sticking out. She would rather not kill living things when fighting, but will if she need to. She will also kill if that being is threatening the life of another. She hates those that threaten to kill, and kind of sees herself as a protector of the weak, though she will never admit that to anyone since she doesn’t want to call too much attention to herself. Since she is so shy, she isn’t very good at making friends, and never makes any really good ones because she travels around a lot, but she will always attempt to become friends with those that open up to her. She is very loyal to her friends because it is so hard for to make them. If anyone bothers her friends she will become angry, which is never good since she knows how to use a couple of different weapons.

               Alia believes in “living life for the purpose of having fun and to help others, since helping others will help yourself”. She will do almost anything it takes to get to her goal. Just like she’s vowed to help all those that are victims of death threats, she’s also promised to travel around the world to different countries and cities and learn all she can about them. She also likes to stop in different cities so that she can create a different variety of pictures for her to sell.

Strengths:

   1) She is very talented with the short sword and good at archery. She concentrated on these weapons since she was 12, and practiced with them every day. She only got to be really good when she started to travel and work when she was 14. During one job she had to do when she was around the age of 16, she got a broken arm because she couldn’t get to her weapons since they were too big. Because of this, once her arm healed she immediately started to practice using the Armoured Fan. This enabled her to fight at close range, and have a smaller, hidden weapon.

               1) She is talented with the sword. Since she has been woring hard with this weapon since she was twelve, she is very familiar with it. She is not as good as older people, or ones who have used it longer, but for her experience, she is considered very good.

               2) She is good at Archery. She has also practiced using this weapon since she was twelve, but she concentrated more on the sword. She cannot hit every single target she makes, but she gets most of them.

               3) She knows how to use the armoured fan. She only has a year of experience with it, so she doesn't know how to use it too well, but she can defend herself long enough to get away from attackers.

               4) She is very smart and good at planning things out. She will come up with good strategies for fighting alone or with a group. She is also good at figuring out difficult problems.

               6) She is very skilled at drawing. She draws plants, animals, and buildings. She has many different types of items in her pictures since she travels around a lot. When she cannot find a fighting job, she will sell her pictures to get money.

               7) She is good at blending into the background. If she doesn’t want to be seen, then she won’t be. This way, she is good at getting information without actually threatening anyone or stealing something from them. She is also good at sneaking up on her enemies, so that they are unprepared for her attack.

               8)  She is not afraid of big creatures or wild animals, so she can usually keep calm while around them.

               9)  She is both strong and fast due to her travels and fights. She has lots of leg muscle, but she obviously has upper arm strength too since she uses the sword and does archery.
               10) She will be very focused on things she thinks is important. While just hanging around she seems rather spacey and stupid, when she is in focus, she is paying sharp attention and acting quickly.

Weaknesses:
   
               1) While she is good at a couple weapons and can focus really well, she tends to ignore when she gets hurt, which will affect her later because she can get a critical injury.

               2) She is very afraid of heights. If she gets anywhere where the view is taller than 3 peds, she will freeze, and either get dizzy or get a big headache.

               3)She is also very afraid of any kind of spider. They will also freak her out and cause her to panic.

               4) While she is smart, she will not always share her ideas with others out of the fear that they will not like her idea. Even though she acts spaced out, it is only a cover up for her true thoughts which she will not share since she is afraid of what everyone else thinks of her.

               5) She has a weakness to help any animal that can be tamed or a small animal that looks helpless. She thinks they are too cute to kill them or leave them to die. She especially likes the Zeiphyr Hunting Hound, and has always wanted to have one herself.

               6) She tends to be clumsy at times, and is prone to hurting herself when she is just hanging around. This is probably due to the fact that she is so self-conscious that she won’t pay attention to some of the things around her, so she’ll trip over them, walk into them, or knock them over.

               7) While she is focused, she can still be slightly clumsy, though not even half as much as she is when not focused, and it will take her a few minutes to get focused again because she is embarrassed from doing whatever she did.

History:
   
                      Alia Zenrose is part of the Helcrani tribe. She is a human, but is friendly towards other races. Her family’s business was in the Art area, but her brother was a scout. He was ten years older than her, and started training with the bow and sword when he was around fifteen or sixteen, and by the time Alia was eleven, he was an expeianced fighter. She was close to her older brother, and he was the one that taught her how to use a sword and to do archery when she was eleven. While she busy learning how to fight, she also practiced drawing. By age thirteen she was considered to be a pretty good artist for a child her age. Her mother and father were very proud of her, and this pushed Alia to keep doing things for her parents.
   
                     Her mother soon died of an illness just a couple months after Alia turned thirteen, and her father was heartbroken. He stopped drawing, and became a scout and went out with his son, leaving Alia to work at home. Her brother and father would sometimes be there for a full week in a row, but they would get called out to work, and could be gone for a while.
   
                    This made Alia work even harder. She still practiced fighting, but she also took care of the house. She even became a very good cook. She would always prepare meals for her father and brother when they were home. Alia also continued to draw. She drew pictures and try to sell them for money, but not many people would buy them since she was a child.
   
                    One day when she was fourteen, her brother came back from working alone after being away for two weeks.
   
               “Where’s father?” Alia asked, because he hadn’t come home with her brother.
   
                Her brother had her sit down in a chair. “Father…Father was killed while we were scouting,” he said shakily.
   
                    This caused more stress and grief in Alia’s life, since now she didn’t have any parents at all. She only had her brother, but he was leaving their hometown to travel. Alia decided to go with him. They had been traveling for two weeks, when they saw a bandit attacking what looked like a lone traveler. This traveler did not have any weapon to fight back with, so Alia’s brother rushed to help. Alia followed her brother, and saw that the traveler had not been alone, but his companion had been killed by the bandit. Alia had started to cry for the dying human, and the bandit started to taunt her. Her brother got angry at the bandit for making fun of Alia’s tears, and rushed towards the bandit in rage. Alia’s brother saved the traveler, and defeated the bandit, but had gotten a critical injury from rushing in recklessly. He died that night, and Alia was on her own. She traveled to the next town with the traveler, where he paid for a room for her in an inn, and then left her. Alia mourned for her brother for three weeks, but then decided that she would travel around to different places like her brother wanted, and she will also protect the weak like her brother had.
   
                     This led to Alia traveling to the many countries and cities. That’s also why she decided to work for people who needed protection, or who needed her to kill something. She would only do this for money, unless it was something she thought was important, which she would then do for free. She would sometimes be a messenger too, if it paid well. She would travel to many cities, and learn about the different cultures and tribes. She picked up new fighting styles, and languages. She also saw many different types of clothing. This led to her creating her own unique fashion style that she grew to love.

               Around age sixteen, she took up a job that led to her getting her arm broken. She was sent to retrieve something from bandits, and when she got to their hide-out, they lept out at her and suprised her. Since she was so suprised, when she tried to draw her sword she fumbled with it because it got stuck in the sheath. This allowed one of the bandits to grab hold of her. He held on to her arms, while the others advanced towards her with their swords. She was able to break free, but at the price of breaking her left arm. She wanted to finish her job, but she could not use her arm, so she ran back to the town. While waiting for her arm to heal, she walked around town trying to decide what she wanted to do next when she overheard some travelers talking about the bandits on the road.

               "There are just too many. On the way here, I was stopped by them. The worst were the ones with the armoured fans. I was able to get away in time with the ones with the swords, but those other bandits were way too fast."

               That got Alia into thinking that she should get an armoured fan herself, so that she has a small weapon that she could draw quickly. She went to the nearest weapon shop and bought one. She then found someone to teach her, but before she could get any lessons, she had to draw a few pictures so that she had enough money. She took lessons once ehr arm was healed. The lessons lasted for about three months, but then she had to travel on to the next town. She has been traveling for the past three years, and now, at age seventeen, Alia is still traveling and working in different cities.

Possessions:
      1) A short Sword that she has had for a long time, but is still in good condition.
   
                   2) A Bow and Arrows. The arrows are carried in a pack especially made for them and is slung around her back when being carried.
   
                  3) A backpack for clothes and food and other necessary things like her drawing materials, utensils for food, a tinderbox, and some bandages.
   
                  4) A Canteen for water is attached to the outside of her bag.
   
                  5) An Armoured Fan is kept attached to her belt.
   
                  6) She has a pouch on her belt for her money.
   
                  7) Also on her belt, a compass is kept next to the money pouch.
« Last Edit: December 08, 2007, 03:55:39 AM by Mina » Logged

Alia Zenrose
The Willful Ranger
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Human, Helcrani


« Reply #1 on: November 09, 2007, 09:30:31 AM »

No one has commented on it yet... cry
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Mathis Mallister
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« Reply #2 on: November 09, 2007, 10:05:00 AM »

After reading through it, only one thing really caught my eye as maybe needing a bit more attention. You say that she has a great deal of skill with the short sword as well as the bow, and a bit of level 1 magic as well. Past precedent has leaned towards asking characters with both magic and weapon skill to pick one or the other, and considering your characters age, this might be a bit more likely than usual. Either way, I'm sure you'll need to add more information on the magic if you keep it, choosing a school of specialization for instance (earth, wind, fire, ( ... boogie wonderland ... ) etc.). Even at a level 1, an entire section on it will most likely be necessary.

Welcome to the board, btw. Big Grin
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take an eye for an eye, turn your heart into stone
this is all I have lived for, this is all I have known
Alia Zenrose
The Willful Ranger
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Human, Helcrani


« Reply #3 on: November 09, 2007, 10:16:31 AM »

Thanks for the Comment!!  grin I think i fixed everything about magic. Sorry if I forgot anything.
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Garret Arroway
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« Reply #4 on: November 09, 2007, 10:25:31 AM »

One little thing that jumped out at me ... How did she become very talented with a shortsword? Did she have a trainer? Her brother or father teach her? Or did she teach herself? Depending on your familys wealth that question would probably be answered and her skill with a sword might be altered by that. Same question with the bow and armored fan.

Just my little bit of input, and welcome.  grin

Edit: Never mind how she learned the sword and bow. Sorry bout that, I obviously can't read. But her skill will probably still depend on how trained her brother was.

Like your CD tho, took the time to read it but i'm probably losin my mind . . . 

« Last Edit: November 09, 2007, 10:37:04 AM by Garret Arroway » Logged

Before you kill him, think of what you take from him. Remember what it is to be alive.
Quote: Robin Hobb
Alia Zenrose
The Willful Ranger
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Human, Helcrani


« Reply #5 on: November 09, 2007, 10:36:42 AM »

I think i fixed it like you asked... hope it's better now.
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Mathis Mallister
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« Reply #6 on: November 10, 2007, 12:15:23 AM »

Looks much more ... agreeable now. Nod Though you should add a headline for a Title up with "Name:", "Gender:" and such, as well as the custom title you'd like to have when approved. There's a guide to coming up with a unique title at the bottom of this page if you need it.
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take an eye for an eye, turn your heart into stone
this is all I have lived for, this is all I have known
Alia Zenrose
The Willful Ranger
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Gender: Female
Posts: 11


Human, Helcrani


« Reply #7 on: November 10, 2007, 06:09:17 AM »

I made a custom title. Hope it's good  :)
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Mathis Mallister
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« Reply #8 on: November 13, 2007, 11:45:03 PM »

Looks fine. Thumb up

I'm not a moderator and can't accept you myself, but I give my approval, and I'm sure the mods and admins will give you their attention as soon as possible.

Also, bump from second page.
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take an eye for an eye, turn your heart into stone
this is all I have lived for, this is all I have known
Alia Zenrose
The Willful Ranger
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Gender: Female
Posts: 11


Human, Helcrani


« Reply #9 on: November 16, 2007, 07:04:18 AM »

thanks for your comment!! grin
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Simonne Miller
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« Reply #10 on: November 16, 2007, 07:12:45 AM »

Ok, the appearance looks good ;)

I'll try to get to this tomorrow :)
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Alia Zenrose
The Willful Ranger
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Human, Helcrani


« Reply #11 on: November 22, 2007, 03:26:06 AM »

It;s been a couple days cry... does it need anymore editing done??
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Torscha
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« Reply #12 on: November 22, 2007, 03:58:41 AM »

Everything looks fine, really. Did you really mean to put "Aventure Ranger" in the subject, or do you mean "Adventure"?

Well-considered, well-balanced, and certainly believable. A little bit on the young side, but I suppose she's had a hard life. Looks like you're all set.
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Sir Ruil Mallister
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« Reply #13 on: November 22, 2007, 09:39:28 AM »

Simonne's usually pretty busy, hun.  Try not to take it personally.  Bump for Alia.  Hope a mod contacts you soon, Alia.
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Simonne Miller
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« Reply #14 on: November 22, 2007, 06:48:18 PM »

I'm sorry. Next time, if I say I'll look at it tomorrow and I haven't after a three days, just send me a PM :)

I just saw a few small things: -In your appearance you have two or three times 'had' instead of 'has', while everything else is in the present tense.
-You need to split up the different weapons and tell us how proficient she is with each. Please remember that with three years of experience, she can never be as proficient with any weapon as someone who's been fighting for, say, 40 years.
-Fear of height and fear of spiders are two different weaknesses, so please split them up :)
-Could you add the tale about why she wanted an armoured fan to her history? And maybe tell us how she got one? Did she have enough money to buy it, and did she teach herself or did she pay someone to teach her? Remember that since she's only used it for one year, she can't be very proficient with it yet.

I think that's it, when you've taken care of that I think you're ready for approval :)
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