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- THE CD FORUM POSTICON SYSTEM -

Below is a summary on the posticons used for the character description approval process. The posticon of the first post should always be edited according to the current state of completion of the character description (either by the player, a Moderator or an Administrator).
1) PLAYER - CD is incomplete. Use this posticon if you have not finished your CD. 4) MODERATOR - CD has been approved by one moderator. A second mod's approval is needed.
2) PLAYER - CD is completed. Use this if you have finished working on your CD. 5) MODERATOR - CD has been approved by two moderators. An Administrator should soon take care of the titling.
3) MODERATOR - An expert's opinion is needed. The specific field in which the expert's help is needed should be added to the title. 6) ADMINISTRATOR - An administrator has titled the character, and the thread will soon be moved to the CD Archives.
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Author Topic: Tamerwolf // Kassite // Warrior  (Read 149 times)
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Tamerwolf
New Santharian

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Posts: 7


« on: December 16, 2007, 06:45:05 AM »

Name:Tamerwolf

Race:Human

Gender:Male

Age:25

Height:1ped and 2 palmspands

Weight:1 Peggie,4 Heb's

Tribe:Kassie

Appearance: Tamerwolf is a wiry man.  He has light colored skin and blue-green eyes.  His hair color is light brown.  His tight cloths show off his thin frame.  Across his chest is a large scar running from his right shoulder to his left hip. 

personality: Tamerwolf is a serous man.  It takes a lot to gain his trust, but when you do you gat a life long battle brother.

Clothing:He wears a thin light shirt under a tight fitting leather cuirass.  He also wears a thin pair of cotton pants under a pair of tight hardened leather pants.  He leaves his arms bare except of the thin shirt to maximise arm movement.  He also wears a wide leather belt wear he hangs his blood thirst.  He carries his tsubar across his back via a bandoleer.  In the winter he wears a fur-lined cape too.  on his leather belt is a small bag with 10 san and 4 Erg.

Weapons: He caries his fathers tsubar and a blood thirst.

Strenghs:
1.Fast and Agile.  He has worked hard with his father ,when he was alive, and has learned agility.  He fought when his father died to keep up his agility.  Agility plays an important part in his fighting style.
2.Learned in fighting with a tsubar.  He has learned from experts in his clan to use a tsubar properly in most situations.  He is almost an expert at fighting with his tsubar.
3.He is a very talkative man.  He can move and talk for hours without rest.

Weaknesses:
1.Thanks to the burning of the clan meeting hall Tamerwolf was hurt in the chest and suffers slight breathing problems.  These problems hamper his ability to battle someone for a long time.
2.Tamerwolf is a slow runner.  He hates it, but it means he can't chase people when they chose to run away.
3.Ravenous Eater.  He spends a large sum of Money buying a large amount of food to eat in one sitting.

History:Tamerwolf's story is a sad one.  He worked on his fathers ranch until he was 13.  During a clan meeting a Kassimar-ii assassin attacked and killed his father ,his sister ,his mother ,and the clan leader and mortally wounding him in the chest.  The assassin then burnt down the house.  Tamerwolf was the only one left alive from the attack.  In front of the villagers he pulled his father tsubar from the ash and swore by the blade to hunt down and kill the assassin.  He then left on this newly proclaimed quest.  He moved from town to cave to town in search for the killer.  One evening when he was 20 he saw a poisoning by an obviously new Kassimar-ii.  He cornered him and fought and killed the man.  Among the mans belongings  was a Blood Thirst.  This he kept in a newly made scabbard on his belt.  He then left the town to continue the search.  He searched for many more years until he met a Kassimar-ii in disguise.  He befriended him.  When he found out that it was a Kassimar-ii he was shocked.  Leaving the town, he walked away his heart troubled.  He tried to put it behind him ,but he never could.





« Last Edit: December 22, 2007, 08:42:23 AM by Twn Arerwn » Logged
Celebrin Vneanr
New Santharian

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Gender: Female
Posts: 31



« Reply #1 on: December 16, 2007, 11:28:14 AM »

Ok,you might whant to mention if he has eny scars or tattoos ,anthing of the like.And tell  how is S&W affect him.Give detailes on how he got the blood thirst too.
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"I wash my hands of the weirdness"
                 -Captain Jack Sparrow
Do not love someone because thay will love you or give you something back. Love them even if thay do not love you back or do nothing for you;or Even hate you.-Caitlyn Trautmann
Twn Arerwn
Melancholy Mage
CD Mod
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Posts: 2471


Elf, Iferhm


« Reply #2 on: December 16, 2007, 11:42:21 AM »

Hello Tamerwolf and welcome to Santharia! Let us start with the basics, my comments shall be in the ever-ugly color: Orange

I would like to see his strengths and weaknesses defined in 2-3 sentences. This adds depth and allows moderators to see how great of a strength or weakness each of them are. Nothing elaborate but some mention of how each have helped (strengths) or hindered (weaknesses) him in the past.
Strenghs:
1.Fast and Agile. Tamerwolf can easily doge attacks. Easily?! I think dodging attacks requires effort irregardless of his agility. There are no super humans here.
2.Learned in fighting with a tussabar.  He is almost an expert a sword fighting He is an expert at fighting with his particular sword type. If he were an expert in all swords he would be a savant. You must state which sword he is good with, almost every sword is designed for variant fighting styles.
3.Energetic.I think it explain its self. Nah, this does not explain itself, that is why I will request you to explain it for me.

Weaknesses:
1.He is quick ,but at the coast of being weak. Agility and speed imply toned muscles, if he were weak those strengths would not apply.
2.He can't hit the big side of a barn a two paces.  Not very important since he often doesent throw something ,but he is known of trying to throw his blood thirst at range. I see how this could be a weakness but it seems haphazardly described. Rewording this so it is more clearly defined as a weakness would help.
3.Ravenous Eater.  He spends a large sum of Money buying a large amount of food to eat in one sitting.
I hope my comments aid you in being titled soon. If you have any questions please feel free to ask them here as there are many willing to help you. I changed the icon to the pencil while you make edits, please return it to the exclamation mark when you are finished and ready for more comments.
~Sincerely~
Co cr'tuulens:Twen Araerwen
« Last Edit: December 16, 2007, 11:46:00 AM by Twn Arerwn » Logged

he pe e pon the rowd ike a ragon, ncient and u o eath
Tamerwolf
New Santharian

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Posts: 7


« Reply #3 on: December 16, 2007, 07:13:36 PM »

Just curious.  How do you change the symbol to a pencil or an exclmation mark? Huh?
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Seh'nara Celebrindal
Swift Ranger
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Posts: 1134


Elf, Tethinrhim


« Reply #4 on: December 16, 2007, 07:16:35 PM »

You modify your first post. The option should be there.
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Mina
vash'deley
Admin
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Posts: 1891



« Reply #5 on: December 16, 2007, 07:18:39 PM »

It's at the "message icon" list, just below where you put the subject. 
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Tamerwolf
New Santharian

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Posts: 7


« Reply #6 on: December 16, 2007, 07:26:35 PM »

Thanks
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Seh'nara Celebrindal
Swift Ranger
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Posts: 1134


Elf, Tethinrhim


« Reply #7 on: December 21, 2007, 11:50:15 AM »

Just to run it over:

I notice you have left out some parts of your cd, namely your eye and hair colour section, your title and your belongings. Look here for the correct format and the required things. Character Description Requirements

I would like some more detail on your appearance, history and personality section. I mean, there's got to be more about your character than just that, right? ;)

You say that you have a blood thirst. It's fine if you just carry it around, but if you have any skill with it, it needs to be listed as a strength. Coming to your strenghts, I think that you're overpowered. Please try to revise them.

Good luck,
Seh'nara

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Simonne Miller
Meddling Herbalist
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Posts: 1284


Human, Caltharian


« Reply #8 on: December 21, 2007, 12:24:06 PM »

Even just having the bloodthirst should be listed as a strength :)
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Youth is the gift of nature, but age is a work of art...

Simonne Miller
Kalna Mrnwn
Bringer of Song and Dreams
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Elf, Mlad'rhm/ Injern


WWW
« Reply #9 on: December 22, 2007, 07:53:36 AM »

Please run this CD through a spell check. The likeliness of receiving a good comment will double if you put forth the effort to make it clean and readable.
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Insanity is only a perception made by those who have yet to attain its greatness. While those of us who have already stepped inside its bounds find bliss in our utter madness.
Lady Kalina
Twn Arerwn
Melancholy Mage
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Gender: Female
Posts: 2471


Elf, Iferhm


« Reply #10 on: December 22, 2007, 08:41:18 AM »

Name:Tamerwolf

Race:Human

Gender:Male

Age:25

Height:1ped and 2 palmspands

Weight:1 Peggie,4 Heb's

Tribe:Kassie <--? Do you mean Kassite?

Appearance: Tamerwolf is a wiry man.  He has light colored skin and blue-green eyes.  His hair color is light brown.  His tight cloths show off his thin frame.  Across his chest is a large scar running from his right shoulder to his left hip. More details are an absolute must in this area. A person should get a clear mental picture of your character from what is contained in this section.

Personality: Tamerwolf is a serous man.  It takes a lot to gain his trust, but when you do you gat a life long battle brother. This is the most important of all the sections, as it lets Story-Mods know how your character thinks and reacts in many situations. What makes him love, hate, desire, lust ....ect?

Clothing:He wears a thin light shirt under a tight fitting leather cuirass.  He also wears a thin pair of cotton pants under a pair of tight hardened leather pants.  He leaves his arms bare except of the thin shirt to maximise arm movement.  He also wears a wide leather belt wear he hangs his blood thirst.  He carries his tsubar across his back via a bandoleer.  In the winter he wears a fur-lined cape too.  on his leather belt is a small bag with 10 san and 4 Erg. His clothing has no color? Little things like that will add depth to this area and also help other players see him as you do.

Weapons: He caries his fathers tsubar and a blood thirst.

Strenghs:
1.Fast and Agile.  He has worked hard with his father ,when he was alive, and has learned agility.<-Worked hard? How? In what way?  He fought when his father died to keep up his agility.<-This reads strangely, maybe rewording it would help to clarify. Agility plays an important part in his fighting style.
2.Learned in fighting with a tsubar.  He has learned from experts in his clan to use a tsubar properly in most situations.  He is almost an expert at fighting with his tsubar.
3.He is a very talkative man.  He can move and talk for hours without rest. How is being talkative a strength for him? There are many ways it could be but you state none of them here to define how it is.

Breaking your history down into perspective paragraphs would be nice. Also there has to be more you can relate about his history that has defined him as he is. What things in his past made him think as he does? Allowed him to fight as he does? How has his talkativeness influenced his past? Little stories like these help to show us as readers how your character came to be who he is.

I hope my comments aid you in being titled soon. If you have any questions please feel free to ask them here as there are many willing to help you. I changed the icon to the pencil while you make edits, please return it to the exclamation mark when you are finished and ready for more comments.
~Sincerely~
Co cr'tuulens:Twen Araerwen
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he pe e pon the rowd ike a ragon, ncient and u o eath
Tamerwolf
New Santharian

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Posts: 7


« Reply #11 on: December 22, 2007, 06:55:50 PM »

Thanks for the comments people!! grin I will fix them soon, but I have to go shopping four stuff for X-mas

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