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Author Topic: The vending machine.  (Read 31552 times)
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Mallorix Volinkov
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« on: January 17, 2008, 11:57:36 AM »

This is another game I found on the same rp board.

   You have a vending machine which you insert things in. Then someone else tells you what you get and they put in something. e.g.


                   Person1:  inserts a bannana.
                   Person2: You get a mutant bannana of DOOOOM.
                                 Inserts a monkey
etc.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  Inserts gold bomb.
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"I despise merchants. All of them are fat, rich men who yell about things and take your money."
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Rookie Brownbark
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Brownie, Llaoihrr


« Reply #1 on: January 17, 2008, 04:15:57 PM »

The gold bomb won't quite fit through the slot, you push and push and push and suddenly it explodes all over you, covering you in gold paint.  Fortunatly the bomb misses one tiny patch on your left thumb so you don't actually die, but the fire brigade has to be called in to hose you down which is mildly embarassing.  Don't play with bombs!

I insert a healthy dose of fruit and veg
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Torscha
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« Reply #2 on: January 17, 2008, 05:28:54 PM »

The vending machine immediately becomes more healthy as the effects of the fruit and veg surge through its circuitry. It gets up and runs laps, and leaves you thirsty.

I insert a coin.
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Rookie Brownbark
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Brownie, Llaoihrr


« Reply #3 on: January 17, 2008, 05:39:51 PM »

Well that's boring.  The vending machine spits out a brightly wrapped packet of well-past-their-sell-by-date crisps.  Scrambled egg and carrot flavour.

I insert a Brownie
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Simonne Miller
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« Reply #4 on: January 17, 2008, 05:41:45 PM »

You get a whole series of gadgets, such as brownie wings, with which you can do nothing because they're too small for you :P

I insert... my English teacher :P
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Rookie Brownbark
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Brownie, Llaoihrr


« Reply #5 on: January 17, 2008, 05:47:23 PM »

Pfft, I am a Brownie!  *soars happily*

The vending machine dislikes being used as a rubish bin for unwanted teachers but is unfortunately unable to get rid of this one.  Instead the english teacher manages to take over the vending machine's brain and uses it to produce assignment after assignment for unsuspecting sugar-seekers.  You get homework!

I insert a radioactive sheep.
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Seh'nara Celebrindal
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« Reply #6 on: January 17, 2008, 06:19:24 PM »

While shoving the sheep in, the wool gets shaved off, and you are buried underneath the radioactive wool, making you sprout weird antlers on your forehead. Added to that, your speech is now punctuated with baas, and you tend to walk on all fours. For all your troubles, all you get back from the machine is a Mars bars.

I insert a pirate!
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Rookie Brownbark
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Brownie, Llaoihrr


« Reply #7 on: January 17, 2008, 06:42:40 PM »

The pirate gets high on sugary drinks stolen from inside the machine and plunders the cash store looking for gold.  He doesn't really find much actual money but has a good time routing around the junk.  In his search for treasure he throws several worthless items back out through the slot; a banana skin (of doooooom), a matchstick and a very confused hairpin.

I insert a ring-tailed lemur.
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Seh'nara Celebrindal
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Elf, Tethinrhim


« Reply #8 on: January 17, 2008, 07:01:04 PM »

The ring-tailed lemur gets angry at your attempt to shove him down the thin slot, so he jumps on your shoulder, summons his friends, and they all huff anf puff until you're pusihed into the slot! Inside, you enter this weird dream like trance where you're Michael Jackson in your Neverland Ranch.

You pop out of the slot, confused and dazed, a pair of shoes in your hands. The trauma was so not worth it.

I insert coke light!
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Niccoli Faust
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« Reply #9 on: January 17, 2008, 08:57:36 PM »

The machine rejects the foul cola and squirts machine oil in your face, before dropping a small notice which reads: "NO! Just...NO!"

I insert a Classical CD
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Rookie Brownbark
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Brownie, Llaoihrr


« Reply #10 on: January 17, 2008, 09:18:46 PM »

The machine loves the music so much that it decides to save up to buy itself a violin.  It holds a yard sale across the street to sell all the junk people have tried to shove down it.  For introducing it to the music in the first place it gives you a small watermelon.

I insert a fireman's hose
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Seh'nara Celebrindal
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Elf, Tethinrhim


« Reply #11 on: January 17, 2008, 10:09:32 PM »

The fireman's hose snakes in and is immediately devoured by hungry anacondas. The anacondas then turn themselves inside out and splatters all over you. The skin and guts stick to your clothing, refusing your attempts to flick them off. As the blood pools around your feet, the bits and pieces of the squishy flesh merge together and bite your head off.

While you're dragging in your last remaing breath, the machine ejects out... a snake hunter armed with a jaguar, pet piranas and a humongous crocodile.

I insert a balloon.
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Mallorix Volinkov
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« Reply #12 on: January 17, 2008, 10:14:48 PM »

When the balloon is inserted, it pops, sending helium everywhere. The machine floats away and ejects a perfecly brand new balloon, followed by a horde of reindeer.
I insert a 120 ton gorrlla
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"I despise merchants. All of them are fat, rich men who yell about things and take your money."
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Lorek Bearfist
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« Reply #13 on: January 18, 2008, 04:54:05 AM »

The machine takes on the gorilla's personality and pummeling tendencies, beating you until you're in a full body cast. Then the machine turns around and covers you in 900lbs of fresh gorilla poop.

I insert an issue of The Punisher
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"My blade is malicious justice forged into metallic form! I seek the blood and destruction of all who persecute the innocent! Wickedness, I am your killer!" - Lorek Bearfist

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Niccoli Faust
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« Reply #14 on: January 18, 2008, 07:56:11 AM »

The vending machine quickly produces a rather large firearm. The label on the firearm bears the warning "no ammunition included."

I insert a complete set of the works of David Eddings
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