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Author Topic: Thorum MithmezinnPolula / Low Fore Thrumgolz / Trader of Sulcho Mushrooms  (Read 3021 times)
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Thorum MithmezinnPolula
New Santharian

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Posts: 7


« on: July 29, 2008, 11:35:51 PM »

This is my first ever roleplaying character, so there's probably quite a few mistakes in it.

It also isn't completely finished yet Shocked

I think I've got something now for a start. Feel free to comment.

Thanks both for the positive comments :D

And yes, I'd already noticed there weren't much dwarfs around. I found 3 or 4 Thrumgolz (which is why my character won't stay in the mountains).


Additions come in Orange

The "clothes" section on the main site got updated since yesterday!!! :D

Name
Thorum MithmezinnPolula (Thorum Golden Laugh)

Gender
Male

Age
119 (still in Age of Choosing)

Race
Dwarfs

Tribe
Low Fore Thrumgolz

Occupation
Trader of Sulcho Mushrooms

Title
Sulcho Trader

Overview
This small dwarf (even for his race) is probably best known for his laugh. He can give away treats to his best friends, but at the same time engage in a tough negotiation for another box of them. The money won in trading is usually mostly spent by the time he gets back to his (lonely) cavern. He's very fat and deaf on one ear.

Physical Appearance
Thorum is small even for an adult dwarf (at only 2 fores 2 palmspan). He loves eating, which has given him a weight of over 7 heb and a fat body, which comes on top of a chest, arms, and hands which are just as muscled as normal with dwarves. He's got red hair of about 1 fore long which he wears loosely around his neck (as much as his large curls allow it). His beard (with a moustache) is also red, but a little less long. His eyes are black, but very small. He has lost the hearing capability in his left ear. He's got a large nose, and almost no eyebrows. He has got a scar near the base of his left ear, which was caused by a hunting accident on his visit to the Ahrhim elves (which also caused his deafness on that ear).

Clothes
Thorum doesn't really care that much about his clothes. Most of the time he wears the traditional cheap dark green rockmoss vests and cloaks of the Thrumgolz, be it in a very wide version to fit him cosily. He's also got a silk hairnet from the Ahrhim elves, which he only wears on very special occasions. He has also got a couple of orange and dark red leather trousers, and even a pair of light gray/green striped ones, which are very unusual amongst his tribe. His walk is a bit skewed, so he needs new shoes very often, which are usually the cheapest and hardiest ones he can find.

Personality
When you're with Thorum, you'll certainly both have a good laugh. Once you're in his group of friends, he'll never let you fall, and you can count on many treats. Unlike most dwarfs, he is known to have some human friends. He doesn't like being alone in his cave (he hasn't found a wife yet, and is probably too late), so he works a lot, and spends a lot of time in his Horth and Caelum trading posts. Sometimes he even goes as far as Ximax, where almost no dwarfs go. He prefers Horth, because his favorite drinks are the wines this city is best known for.

However, you don't want to underestimate him as a trader. He may give small gifts to people he trusts, but he is a very tough negotiator. If he doesn't consider you a friend, it's very tough to get him to do something for you if it isn't compensated richly. With a good friend, things are very different. He'd do literally anything for you.

Strengths
- Thorum is a very good trader: he never asks too high a price, but never sells under the value.
- Thorum is a very good friend to have. Even though it is not easy to become his friend, once you are, he'd literally do anything for you. Of course, he expects the same from you.
- Thorum is a good worker. If necessary, he'd put the mushrooms in his hands to take a handful down. Luckily, he's got sacks and a wheelbarrow for that (donkeys, horses or carts cannot make it high enough in the Low Fore).
- Thorum is always a laugh: he often acts clumsily on purpose, and makes blunt remarks. You'll always know what he means and thinks.
- He can handle his short hunting bow quite well, but only uses it for his defense. For most people with bad intensions, its sight is enough to choose another victim, though not for all.

Weaknesses
- Thorum loves drinking. Give him wine, and he drinks it (especially the Horth kind, which is his favorite). This means he's often drunk.
- Thorum loves eating. In short: he's fat. This has a bad effect on his physical condition, and neither does it any good to find the love of his life.
- Thorum is half deaf. If you have the bad luck of standing on his left side, you're gonna have to shout loudly, or go to his right side. This comes in handy in trade arguments: "Sorry, can't hear you. You're on my wrong side".
- Thorum cannot keep his money. He spends all of it very quickly, and often returns home empty-handed.
- Thorum is often a centre of ridicule: he is very clumsy without trying to and his blunt remarks can be razor sharp, though rarely undeserved.

History
Thorum was born with a twin named Muroth from a poor family in a lonely cavern in the Low Fores. Their mother was named Opidua, their father Kuron (106 at that time - which is very young to have children). His father was a farmer of Sulcho mushrooms, but he didn't have enough land to grow an adequate amount of them to keep all of his family alive, especially when his children were born. This is why he sold his little farm and left his family to try his luck in the richer High Fores when Thorum was only 1 year of age. He was never seen again.

After 9 hungry years, his mother decided to leave their poor cavern. She took both her children with her on a journey to the trade dwarf town of Tyr Thromgolin in search for a way to keep them alive. There, Opidua found a welcome and a small job as a shopkeeper in a small shop for wooden ornaments, where her children helped quite a lot. This earned her enough money to keep them all alive for 55 years. .

However, when Thorum and Muroth were only 65 years old, Opidua died from the results of a disease which first gave her red spots all over her body, then made her unable to walk, until she finally became as rock.  Loving their independence just as much as any other member of the Thrumgolz tribe (especially those as young as them), Thorum and Muroth sold the shop and set off on an exploration.

At first, they followed some Boltgrum dwarfs over the Xythrian Ridge. They went on however to the Almatrar forest. The eyesight of other tribes isn't good enough to see through this dense forest, but this wasn't a real problem for Thorum and Muroth. The only two tribes who could see in this forest where dwarfs and the Ahrhim elves, who live there. These were more than twice the height of our dwarfs, and they were very welcoming to Thorum and Muroth once spotted (after 3 days).

They stayed there for 10 years, during which they learned hunting with the bow. In the course of the fourth year, Thorum let go of his string too soon, and it bounced back on his left ear. The ear itself could be saved, but he never heard anything through it again. Tired of the elves, they wanted to set out again for home. As a goodbye present they both got a special silk hairnet from the silkworms in Almatrar.

They quickly got back to Tyr Thromgolin. Here however, goblins were now living in their home, and they couldn't find a place to settle in. They quickly left for the Fores again.

Luckily, they quickly reached their homelands of the Lower Fores, were they met an uncle named Undol. Undol was a Sulcho farmer (just like his older brother Kuron - the father of Thorum and Muroth), and he needed help bringing them to a salesperson in Naios. Thorum and Muroth, exhausted and malnourished, immediately took the opportunity. Even youngsters have to eat.

They were given one month to prepare for the travel and regain their strengths (they were still only 76), and set off to Naios, with a lot of Sulcho mushrooms with them. After an easy travel, they arrived at the Nameless Centaur inn in Naios, where the salesman was already waiting, and the transaction was performed perfectly. They went to Naios about 20 times for this. However, one time, someone else was awaitening them outside, called Marcus. Marcus didn't think much about trading, however. As soon as he got sight of Thorum and Muroth, he pushed them both in a nearly-abandoned alley, got out his sword and sliced Muroth's head like a grapefruit. Thorum managed to run away before he lost his too (without his mushrooms). He never returned to Naios again.

Thorum kept on doing the trading job however. But now, he did it on his own, without an official salesperson. This was the only way to keep them all alive (Undol had 3 children).

The first change in this pattern came when Thorum was 102. A man in Ximax wanted to buy a lot of Sulcho muchrooms from Undol, and Thorum was sent together with Undol's three children (Luko, Kuol, and Oklu). They got a very good price from this salesman (called Thomas), and they returned often.

Only two years later, Kuol and Luko died when they were ambushed by robbers on their way to Horth. In the same month, Undol died as well, partly from old age, partly from sadness.

Oklu and Thorum continued the Sulcho trade, but they lost sight of each other when Thorum was 112 and Oklu 88.

Weapons
Like all Thrumgolz, Thorum carries a small eating-dagger used for eating, and a smithy's hammer as a spiritual sign of his passing into adulthood. Being a trader, he doesn't use his large orehammer - which has one end looking like a combination between a pick and an axe blade - though he has got one. For his defence he uses a short hunting bow with limited accuracy but a phenomenal reach and effectiveness (even against chainmail).

Belongings
Thorum's belongings are very limited: he's rarely at home, and spends all his money immediately on eating and drinking. He owns a small, isolated cavern where he resides all on his own when he's got some time off in the Fore.

Familiars
Since animals nor carts can get up the mountains high enough to transport the Sulcho mushrooms, and he hasn't got enough money to rent or buy one (there's a rental station in Een Puvtyr), he carries his goods up and down in big bags.
« Last Edit: August 06, 2008, 12:24:27 AM by Thorum MithmezinnPolula » Logged
Nox Echiiscuan
Macabre Marionette
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Posts: 2229

Human, Kasumarii


« Reply #1 on: July 29, 2008, 11:44:18 PM »

Welcome to Santharia, Thorum!

For someone who hasn't ever made a roleplaying character before, you're doing a fantastic job thus far. If you're a little stuck in your CD, then you can go to the Approved Characters Archives II, which is located here, and glance through some of the approved characters for an idea. Or, if you need any help with anything, certainly don't be afraid to simply ask for it. Don't feel silly asking questions, no matter what it might be, I'm sure we've all asked the same thing before.

The CDmods are here to help you create a character to play in the world that everyone on the Dev Board has worked hard to put together for us. Once you're finished writing out your CD, we'll proof read it for you for grammatical errors and of the such.

grin I certainly hope you enjoy it here. It's quite nice, I think.

Bobspeed,
heart ~ Nox ~ heart
« Last Edit: July 29, 2008, 11:48:01 PM by Nox Belle » Logged

Ganinon
Smithing Warrior
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Dwarf, Mitharim


Homepage
« Reply #2 on: July 30, 2008, 01:02:31 AM »

Hooray! Another Dwarf! If you haven't noticed, there are few dwarves around here. Dwarves are kinda hard to get, but everyone here will be around to help you through it. I am in the IRC often if you are able to get on that. Almost everyone in there can help you in some way. Once you finish this i will try as hard as i can to help you.

Just keep working at it and you will be approved.

P.S.
If you need help getting into IRC, just PM me.  LOL I hope to see you there.

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Ganinon
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« Reply #3 on: July 31, 2008, 01:22:05 AM »

Hey there, if you are ready i think i will give some comments in the earthly color of Brown

Physical Appearance
Thorum is small even for an adult dwarf (at only 2 fores 1 palmspan). He loves eating, which has given him a weight of over 7 heb and a fat body, which comes on top of a chest, arms, and hands which are just as muscled as normal with dwarves. He's got red hairs (including his beard), and black, but very small eyes. He has lost the hearing capability in his left ear.
At this point all i know is he is a little shorter than usual, fat, has black eye, is deaf in an ear, and has red hairs. A little bit more here would help fill in. Could you describe his face? Does he have any scars? Does he do anything with his hair? How long is his hair? How long is his beard? Things like this can help bring a character to life.

Clothes
Thorum doesn't really care that much about his clothes. Most of the time he wears the traditional cheap rockmoss vests of the Thrumgolz, be it in a very wide version. He's also got a silk hairnet from the Ahrhim elves. A little more here would be nice too. From what i can tell he doesn't wear anything but a vest and a hairnet...A site some wouldn't want to see. Rolling Does he have pants? Does he have a cloak or anything like that to wrap around himself if it is cold? Shoes? Is the vest a bit small on him or did they make it big enough to fit him?

Personality
Thorum is always a laugh to have with you.A bit awkward of a sentence. Maybe 'Thorum always has a laugh to be had with you.' would work? Once you're in his group of friends, he'll never let you fall, and you can count on many treats. Unlike most dwarfs, he is known to have some human friends. He doesn't like being alone in his cave (he hasn't found a wife yet, and is probably too late), so he works a lot, and spends a lot of time in his Horth and Caelum trading posts. Sometimes he even goes as far as Ximax, where almost no dwarfs go. He prefers Horth for his wines.A bit short of a sentence that technicaly is alright but just seems weird to me :D. Maybe 'He Prefers to trade in Horth for the fine wines they/he have/has there.' would work. From what you had i could not tell if he bought some wine in Horth or he had some stored there or what. If he buys it then use the 'they have' option, if it is his wine then use the 'he has' option.

However, you don't wanna<---want to underestimate him as a trader. He may give small gives<---gifts to people he trusts, but he is a very tough negotiator. If he doesn't consider you a friend, it's very tough to get him to do something for you if it isn't compensated richly. With a good friend, things are different. Very different indeed....It feel like you left me hanging...How is it different for friends? And the last 3 words aren't really needed. You can just put the 'very' before the 'different' in the sentence before.

Strengths
- Thorum is a very good trader: he never asks too high a price, but never sells under the value.
- Thorum is a very good friend to have. Even though it is not easy to become his friend, once you are, he'ld<---he'd literally do anything for you. Of course, he expects the opposite as well.So he expects the opposite of literally doing anything? Maybe you mean 'he expects the same from you'?
- Thorum is a good worker. If necessary, he'ld<---he'd put the mushrooms in his hands to take a handfull down. Luckily, he's got sacks and a wheelbarrow for that (donkeys, horses or carts cannot make it high enough in the Low Fore).
- Thorum is always a laugh: he often acts clumsily on purpose, and makes blunt remarks. You'll always know what he means and thinks.

Weaknesses
- Thorum loves drinking. Give him wine, and he drinks it (especially the Horth kind, which is his favorite). This means he's often drunk.
- Thorum loves eating. In short: he's fat.
- Thorum is half deaf. If you have the bad luck of standing on his left side, you're gonna have to shout loudly, or go to his right side. This comes in handy in trade arguments: "Sorry, can't hear you. You're on my wrong side". LOL
- Thorum cannot handle money. He spends all of it very quickly.Do you mean he can't hold onto money, or that he spends it very quickly? Maybe rephrase this to make it more clear what you mean.
- Thorum is always a laugh: he is very clumsy without trying to and his blunt remarks can be razor sharp, though rarely undeserved.But in the strengths you said he acted clumsy on purpose...Maybe change one of them...

History
Thorum was born as one of a pair of twinsMaybe, 'Thorum was born with a twin named Muroth, etc.' would work? (the other being Muroth) from a poor family in a lonely cavern in the Low Fores. Their mother was named Opidua, their father Kuron (92 at that time).A bit young to have some children, don't you think? That would mean he got his wife within two years of Age of Choosing then had children with her. Maybe add 10-20 years? His father was a farmer of Sulcho mushrooms, but he didn't have the place to grow enough of them to keep all of his family alive.So he didn't have enough land? Or he wasn't in the right location to grow the mushrooms? This is why he sold his little farm and left his family to try his luck in the richer High Fores when Thorum was only 1 year of age. He was never seen again.

When he was 10, his mother took them with her on a jouney to the trade dwarf town of Tyr Thromgolin in search for a way to keep them alive. There, Opidua found a welcome and a small job.What was this job? What did she do about her children? 10 is pretty young. Dwaves mature much slower than humans, so a 10 year old dwarf would be no more mature than like a 7 year old human. Maybe 5 year old.

45 years later, Opidua died of old age. Thorum and Muroth were both 55. Loving their independence just as much as any other member of the Thrumgolz tribe, they set off on an exploration. maybe you could add one more event between 10 and 55 as that is kind of a big gap. Maybe what he did during that time. Maybe he gained his interest in trading during those times?

At first, they followed some Boltgrum dwarfs over the Xythrian Ridge. They went on however to the Almatrar forest. Other tribes haven't got enoughmaybe change 'got enough' to 'good enough' eyesight to see through this dense forest, but this wasn't a real problem for Thorum and Muroth. The main problem were the Ahrhim elves, the only non-dwarfish clan which can see inside Almatrar.What? Maybe rephrase this a bit? I just don't understand it. These were more than twice the height of our dwarfs, and they were very welcoming to Thorum and Muroth once spotted (after 3 days).

They stayed there for 5 years, during which they learned hunting with the bow. After a year, Thorum let go of his string too soon, and it bounced back on his left ear. He never heard through it again. So the string hit him on the ear? I don't know if this could cause deafness. Maybe see what someone else says.Tired of the elves, they wanted to set out again for home. As a goodbye present they both got a special silk hairnet from the silkworms in Almatrar.

They quickly got back to Tyr Thromgolin. Here however, the goblins had become much more powerful than they were the last time, and they were chased away.

Luckily, they quickly reached their homelands of the Lower Fores, were they met an uncle named Undol. Undol was a Sulcho farmer (just like his older brother Kuron - the father of Thorum and Muroth), and he needed help bringing them to a salesperson in Naios. Thorum and Muroth, exhausted and malnourished, immediately took the opportunity.

They were given one month to prepare for the travel and regain their strengths (they were still only 61), and set off to Naios, with a lot of Sulcho mushrooms with them. After an easy travel, they arrived at the Short Umbrella inn in Naios, where the salesman (Marcus) was already waiting. Marcus however didn't think much about trading. As soon as Thorum and Muroth entered, he got out his sword and sliced Muroth's head like a grapefruit. Thorum managed to run away before he lost his too (without his mushrooms). He never returned to Naios again....wow... Shocked

Well then, that is all the comments i have for now. Glad to see another dwarf around, and one who does his research too! How lucky are we? Keep working at it and i am sure you will get approved very quickly.
« Last Edit: July 31, 2008, 01:53:56 AM by Ganinon » Logged
Eléyr Fásamár
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Elf ~ Kaýrrhem


« Reply #4 on: August 01, 2008, 03:14:02 AM »

Hey Thorum, this is looking quite nice! However, you must list all of your skills with weapons in that section under the Strengths section, as individual points. This could potentially set you off balance with three weapon skills, so make sure you underline the fact that he's not very good with any of them, just has them for tradition, and can somewhat use them.
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Thorum MithmezinnPolula
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« Reply #5 on: August 01, 2008, 04:15:36 PM »

Three things I did not change:

- The clumsiness is mentioned in both strengths and weaknesses for a reason: it's a strength he can make you laugh with them, but it's a weakness it often happens to him naturally.
Same with his blunt remarks.

- His father has to be that young: we'll meet his brother in about 60 years who is still working hard. I interpret the Age of Choosing as the age during which someone can make a child. It's like a 18 year old human (rl) is father. Young, but not implausible. That's also why he could leave.

- They had to move when the twin was only 10 since they hadn't earned much money for the last 9 years.

I also made the string-accident (deafness) a bit worse.
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Thorum MithmezinnPolula
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« Reply #6 on: August 02, 2008, 09:25:47 PM »

bump
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Rookie Brownbark
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Brownie, Llaoihrr


« Reply #7 on: August 04, 2008, 06:37:02 PM »

Name
Thorum MithmezinnPolula (Thorum Golden Laugh)

Gender
Male

Age
104 (in Age of Choosing)

Race
Dwarfs

Tribe
Low Fore Thrumgolz

Occupation
Trader of Sulcho Mushrooms

Title
Sulcho Trader

Overview
This small dwarf (even for his race) is probably best known for his laugh. He can give away treats to his best friends, but at the same time engage in a tough negotiation for another box of them. The money won in trading is usually mostly spent by the time he gets back to his (lonely) cavern. He's very fat and deaf on one ear.

Physical Appearance
Thorum is small even for an adult dwarf (at only 2 fores 1 palmspan). I think this is too small really – the dwarf entry says they “rarely exceed 1.5 peds” and your tribe entry says they are between 1 ped and 1.5 peds. Your dwarf is about half of the maximum height!  Maybe make him just under a ped? So around 2 fores 2 palmspans?  That’s still amazingly titchy. He loves eating, which has given him a weight of over 7 heb and a fat body, which comes on top of a chest, arms, and hands which are just as muscled as normal with dwarves. He's got red hair of about 1 fore long which he wears loosely around his neck (as much as his large curls allow it). His beard (with a moustache) is also red, but a little less long. His eyes are black, but very small. He has lost the hearing capability in his left ear. He's got a large nose, and almost no eyebrows. He has got a scar near the base of his left ear, due to a string which snapped on his visit to the Ahrhim elves (which also caused his deafness on that ear). Do you mean a string within his ear?  A part of the ear?  And if so, why would this leave a scar on the outside?

Clothes
Thorum doesn't really care that much about his clothes. Most of the time he wears the traditional cheap dark green rockmoss vests and cloaks of the Thrumgolz, be it in a very wide version to fit him cosily. He's also got a silk hairnet from the Ahrhim elves, which he only wears on very special occasions. He has also got a couple of orange and dark red leather trousers, and even a pair of light gray/green striped ones, which are very unusual amongst his tribe. His walk is a bit skewed, so he needs new shoes very often, which are usually the cheapest and hardiest ones he can find. Hehe, I’m getting such a cute image of this little fellow.

Personality
When you're with Thorum, you'll certainly both have a good laugh. Once you're in his group of friends, he'll never let you fall, and you can count on many treats. Unlike most dwarfs, he is known to have some human friends. He doesn't like being alone in his cave (he hasn't found a wife yet, and is probably too late), so he works a lot, and spends a lot of time in his Horth and Caelum trading posts. Sometimes he even goes as far as Ximax, where almost no dwarfs go. He prefers Horth, because his favorite drinks are the wines this city is best known for.

However, you don't want to underestimate him as a trader. He may give small gifts to people he trusts, but he is a very tough negotiator. If he doesn't consider you a friend, it's very tough to get him to do something for you if it isn't compensated richly. With a good friend, things are very different. He'd do literally anything for you.

Strengths
- Thorum is a very good trader: he never asks too high a price, but never sells under the value. What, never?  Almost never maybe….
- Thorum is a very good friend to have. Even though it is not easy to become his friend, once you are, he'd literally do anything for you. Of course, he expects the same from you.
- Thorum is a good worker. If necessary, he'd put the mushrooms in his hands to take a handful down. Luckily, he's got sacks and a wheelbarrow for that (donkeys, horses or carts cannot make it high enough in the Low Fore).
- Thorum is always a laugh: he often acts clumsily on purpose, and makes blunt remarks. You'll always know what he means and thinks.
- He can handle his short hunting bow quite well, but only uses it for his defense. For most people with bad intensions, its sight is enough to choose another victim, though not for all.

Weaknesses
- Thorum loves drinking. Give him wine, and he drinks it (especially the Horth kind, which is his favorite). This means he's often drunk.
- Thorum loves eating. In short: he's fat. And this hinders him because…..
- Thorum is half deaf. If you have the bad luck of standing on his left side, you're gonna have to shout loudly, or go to his right side. This comes in handy in trade arguments: "Sorry, can't hear you. You're on my wrong side". But it would also annoy traders too, wouldn’t it?
- Thorum cannot keep his money. He spends all of it very quickly, and often returns home empty-handed.
- Thorum is always a laugh: he is very clumsy without trying to and his blunt remarks can be razor sharp, though rarely undeserved. Being “always a laugh” is a strength not a weakness.  Maybe change the phrasing?  “Thorum is often the centre of ridicule” might work instead?

History
Thorum was born with a twin named Muroth from a poor family in a lonely cavern in the Low Fores. Their mother was named Opidua, their father Kuron (92 at that time). This is indeed very young.  You’re going to have to add at least 5 years – the length of the pregnancy.  And please mention the fact that it is very young – how does this affect the parents?His father was a farmer of Sulcho mushrooms, but he didn't have enough land to grow an adequate amount of them to keep all of his family alive. This is why he sold his little farm and left his family to try his luck in the richer High Fores when Thorum was only 1 year of age. He was never seen again. How has he been surviving for the last 100 years then?  How did he have enough wealth to get a mate?  What changed?  Perhaps you could say something happened to the place he was farming?

After 9 hungry years, his mother decided to leave their poor cavern. She took both her children with her on a journey to the trade dwarf town of Tyr Thromgolin in search for a way to keep them alive. There, Opidua found a welcome and a small job as an interpreter for the rare (about once a week) Thrumgolzer visitors and traders, which earned her enough money to keep them all alive for 45 years. I think all dwarves speak the same language – dwarvish.  So there wouldn’t be much need for translation.She also kept a small shop for wooden ornaments, where her children helped quite a lot.

However, when Thorum and Muroth were 55 years old, Opidua died of old age. But she is only about 150, and dwarves typically live to 250, sometimes 300. Thorum and Muroth were both 55. 55 is still a child in dwarvern terms.Loving their independence just as much as any other member of the Thrumgolz tribe, they sold the shop and set off on an exploration.

At first, they followed some Boltgrum dwarfs over the Xythrian Ridge. They went on however to the Almatrar forest. The eyesight of other tribes isn't good enough to see through this dense forest, but this wasn't a real problem for Thorum and Muroth. The only two tribes who could see in this forest where dwarfs and the Ahrhim elves, who live there. These were more than twice the height of our dwarfs, and they were very welcoming to Thorum and Muroth once spotted (after 3 days).

They stayed there for 5 years, during which they learned hunting with the bow. And what issues did this pose?  What problems did they face there?  Who did they stay with?  Did they not find it strange living among another race?  Did the elves not feel they had outstayed their welcome? After a year, Thorum let go of his string too soon, and it bounced back on his left ear. The ear itself could be saved, but he never heard anything through it again. Tired of the elves, they wanted to set out again for home. As a goodbye present they both got a special silk hairnet from the silkworms in Almatrar.

They quickly got back to Tyr Thromgolin. Here however, the goblins had become much more powerful than they were the last time, and they were chased away. By the goblins?  From a vibrant merchant city?  Don’t you think the inhabitants would have done something to drive any threats off already?

Luckily, they quickly reached their homelands of the Lower Fores, were they met an uncle named Undol. Undol was a Sulcho farmer (just like his older brother Kuron - the father of Thorum and Muroth), and he needed help bringing them to a salesperson in Naios. Thorum and Muroth, exhausted and malnourished, immediately took the opportunity.

They were given one month to prepare for the travel and regain their strengths (they were still only 61), And therefore still children! and set off to Naios, with a lot of Sulcho mushrooms with them. After an easy travel, they arrived at the Short Umbrella We don’t actually have anything called an umbrella in Santharia inn in Naios, where the salesman (Marcus) was already waiting. Marcus however didn't think much about trading. As soon as Thorum and Muroth entered, he got out his sword and sliced Muroth's head like a grapefruit. Sorry, this makes no sense.  Why would he randomly attack?  A trading relationship with the dwarves is something to treasure and cultivate as they take a long time to make friends and alliances.  Why would this trader through away years of negotiation like that?  And commit murder too!Thorum managed to run away before he lost his too (without his mushrooms). He never returned to Naios again.

Thorum kept on doing the trading job however. But now, he did it on his own, without an official salesperson. This was the only way to keep them all alive (Undol had 3 children).

The first change in this pattern came when Thorum was 87. A man in Ximax wanted to buy a lot of Sulcho muchrooms from Undol, and Thorum was sent together with Undol's three children (Luko, Kuol, and Oklu). They got a very good price from this salesman (called Thomas), and they returned often.

Only two years later, Kuol and Luko died when they were ambushed by robbers on their way to Horth. In the same month, Undol died as well, partly from old age, partly from sadness.

Oklu and Thorum continued the Sulcho trade, but they lost sight of each other when Thorum was 97 and Oklu 63.

Weapons
Like all Thrumgolz, Thorum carries a small eating-dagger used for eating, and a smithy's hammer as a spiritual sign of his passing into adulthood. Being a trader, he doesn't use his large orehammer - which has one end looking like a combination between a pick and an axe blade - though he has got one. For his defence he uses a short hunting bow with limited accuracy but a phenomenal reach and effectiveness (even against chainmail).

Belongings
Thorum's belongings are very limited: he's rarely at home, and spends all his money immediately on eating and drinking. He owns a small, isolated cavern where he resides all on his own when he's got some time off in the Fore.

Familiars
Since animals nor carts can get up the mountains high enough to transport the Sulcho mushrooms, and he hasn't got enough money to rent or buy ne, he carries his goods up and down in big bags. You can leave this section out if you wish.

Okay, I hope I have helped and good luck with the adjustments.  I’d have another look at the dwarven entries for the aging too, as it seems a lot is happening to your character before puberty.  Poor guy :P.

Rookie xxx
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Thorum MithmezinnPolula
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« Reply #8 on: August 04, 2008, 08:57:43 PM »

Things I did not adjust and why:

WEAKNESSES

- Being fat is an important characteristic of Thorum, and it is obviously a weakness.
- Sulcho mushrooms are very valuable. If you've gotta be on the right side of a trader, that's a small sacrifice.

HISTORY

- I cannot find anywhere anything about the relation between the Ahrhim elves and other races (like dwarves), except that they are nocturnal when outside the forest. But these 5 years are passed INside the forest, so I've asumed they are a welcoming and gracefull tribe.
- There are inns here as well which are called "the crown" or "the rose" or something like that. Why no "the short umbrella"?
- I've changed the attack in Naios a bit (it was my intention to make Marcus a first-time-salesman), but Marcus is simply a robber. And in Fantasy robbing often requires murdering.

FAMILIARS

- I've kept these because it's an important thing as to where he can get and how he gets there. I do have added a bit, though.

What has happened to him is the life of a poor family. And when they were alone, their puberty just about started (55 years is a bit over halfway to adultry; like 10-11 years irl). Of course they wanna make an adventure. And trading isn't the safest job ever either...

Also: if someone's got remarks on what I haven't changed (here and in my previous post), please comment. Thanks in advance (and in retrospect to Ganinon and Rookie Brownbark).
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Simonne Miller
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« Reply #9 on: August 04, 2008, 09:06:15 PM »

I don't think Rookie asked you to delete the weakness of him being fat, just explain in two or three sentences why it's a weakness ;)
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« Reply #10 on: August 04, 2008, 09:15:49 PM »

I've added a bit to the fatness.
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« Reply #11 on: August 04, 2008, 09:31:11 PM »

WEAKNESSES

- Being fat is an important characteristic of Thorum, and it is obviously a weakness. However “he is fat” doesn’t tell me how it hinders him – I’d like to get an impression of how much it is a problem ;).
- Sulcho mushrooms are very valuable. If you've gotta be on the right side of a trader, that's a small sacrifice. And if you want to trade with others, you’ve gotta make it as smooth as possible.  But, this was just a nitpick really, keep it like that if you want to.

HISTORY

- I cannot find anywhere anything about the relation between the Ahrhim elves and other races (like dwarves), except that they are nocturnal when outside the forest. But these 5 years are passed INside the forest, so I've asumed they are a welcoming and gracefull tribe.  That doesn’t mean that it’s easy to live with them.  There would be some culture shock.  Imagine – he’s spent his whole life living underground with really short bearded people and now he goes and stays in a wood with tall tree-climbing people who have a different language, different diet, completely different way of living.  Not easy.  Plus these elves are fairly solitary and probably have rarely if ever seen a dwarf before.  What do they think?  How do they treat them?
- There are inns here as well which are called "the crown" or "the rose" or something like that. Why no "the short umbrella"? Because it doesn’t seem likely that the word umbrella would exist in a fantasy world.
- I've changed the attack in Naios a bit (it was my intention to make Marcus a first-time-salesman), but Marcus is simply a robber. And in Fantasy robbing often requires murdering. I still find it fairly improbable that anyone would murder someone, in the middle of a trading inn, with loads of people all around them, for a load of mushrooms which he will not be able to cart away before the guards arrest him.

Goblins taking over the city of Tyr Thromgolin is a history-changing event.  I’m sorry, but we don’t allow these in CDs, simply because we don’t want everyone to change the history of Santharia!


FAMILIARS

- I've kept these because it's an important thing as to where he can get and how he gets there. I do have added a bit, though. Fair enough :)

What has happened to him is the life of a poor family. And when they were alone, their puberty just about started (55 years is a bit over halfway to adultry; like 10-11 years irl). Of course they wanna make an adventure. And trading isn't the safest job ever either... It’s more the fact that they seem to be trading by the time they are 61.  They are so young! Why does their Uncle treat them like adults when they’re not?  Hmm, I’ll ask our dwarvern expert on the development board for a clearer answer for you.

Also: if someone's got remarks on what I haven't changed (here and in my previous post), please comment. Thanks in advance (and in retrospect to Ganinon and Rookie Brownbark).

That a bit clearer?
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Thorum MithmezinnPolula
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« Reply #12 on: August 04, 2008, 10:42:30 PM »

I have added a couple of years with the elves and with their mother. This means his father can be a bit older as well.

The Naios murder, and the non-exceptance in Tyr Thromgolin have been altered.

The Ahrhim bit still has to be rewritten, but I don't have an idea at the moment  fish
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« Reply #13 on: August 04, 2008, 11:26:12 PM »

Here is Bard Judith's reply to the question (she's our dwarven expert).  You can see the discussion here too :).
 

Quote
I quote the relevant passages here with my notes - you can pass them on...

"Dwarves have a fairly long adolescence, approximately eighty-five to ninety years of age before sexual maturity. This time of passage into adulthood is known as "Huregozar" for females, "Baregozar" for males, and is indicated by various subtle external and internal physical changes, and a new emotional steadiness and decisiveness (compared to adolescence, that is…). We may only guess at the qualifications for Hu/Baregozar, as they are determined individually in consultation with each young adult by the Denirim of the clan. The root words of this expression appear to come from the dwarven for ‘female’ and ‘male’ - Hut and Bar respectively - plus the archaic word for ‘hand’ - Goz - or possibly the word Regonz, meaning ‘achieved’ (literally, ‘no longer waiting’).

Once a group of dwarven adolescents have achieved Hu/Baregozar, there is a significant ceremony which takes place to recognize them as adults. The “Wirrutharoon” (roughly translatable as ‘Well-Made-Thing-Time’) is held fairly frequently by dwarven standards, roughly every ten years..."

So your dwarves MIGHT be mature for their age, but they still could not be expected to work independently - outside the clan - until they had gone through the Wirrutharoon.

At 55 their clan would be reluctant to let them Aboveground - rather like a 17 year old who's just finished highschool saying "I wanna take a break and go to India for a year"....  even in each other's company.   

Basically the description is fine - your player just needs to push back his ages a bit.

Mother dies when he is 55 - ok.  Where's his father - already deceased?  The clan is like a huge extended family, so the youth would have his own chores and apprenticeship already within that - he doesn't NEED to leave.  Let's say that at 69, a few years later by dwarven standards, he is considered mature enough and is physically precocious as well - he is allowed to join the preparation for the upcoming Wirrutharoon with adolescent dwarves (Shorrs) ten to twenty years older than he ( a difference of about five years as they'd see it).    Unfortunately he and his (twin, of course) brother are not seen as prime marriage material (the main reason dwarves leave their caverns and go above ground) and since there are never enough dwarfmaids to go round, they become 'Travelling Bachelors'...

"The few males who remain unmated often take the title of “Kavoninn Yabarrah”. They leave their caverns in order to sublimate their unmet sexual energies in their craftsmanship and dedication to another cause. They may join one of the famous dwarven mercenary troops, or settle in a human town and set up a business, sending much of their profits back to their home clan. This title is sometimes mistranslated as ‘Exile’ by humans who do not understand the complexity of dwarven relationships, or as ‘Thwarted Lover’ by sentimental poets. However, according to our Thergerim sources, it simply means ‘Travelling Bachelor’ – an unwed male who goes out from the clan…"

At this point - say, 70 years of age, their uncle sees an opportunity for them and offers them a position Aboveground selling Sulcho in the markets of XXX.   No problem!



I'd really recommend "The Midnight Morjual" http://www.santharia.com/library/thergerim_tales/texts/the_midnight_morjual.htm as reading for this player, as it describes that time of life among the dwarves in a vivid way.  Also, the description of Een Puvtar http://www.santharia.com/places/een_puvtyr.htm is pretty atmospheric.

I wrote back too, just asking if the structure was the same in Tyr Thromgolin.
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