Elise / Aeolrhan / Aspiring Scholar

[Elise]

Name

Elise (Surname unknown; see History).

Gender

Female.

Age

120 - (Presumed to be 3 years of age when discovered; see History).

Race

Elf.

Tribe

Elise is pureblood Aeolrhan. She was lost as a child and absorbed into another Aeolrhan village (see History).

Occupation

Gambler / Freelance researcher.

Title

Aspiring Scholar.

Overview

Elise is a petite elfess maiden, and aspires to become a scholar. Being Aeolrhan, she is obsessed with the way that the world can be described in terms of numbers and patterns, unfortunately to the point where her girlfriend left her. She became depressed and turned to drink to help her through this uncomfortable period, and unfortunately she is now rather obsessed with drink. She is currently trying to figure out a solid formula for creating Aeolrhan artwork, which she can then sell on for a tidy sum; meanwhile, she manages to scrape a living by winning gambling matches and selling her musings to anyone who's willing to pay for them.

Height

2 Peds, 1 Fore, 1 Palmspan, 6 Nailsbreadths (about 2.5 Metres).

Weight

1 Pygge, 2 Hebs, 1 Hafeb, 2 Ods (10 stone).

Hair Colour

Elise's hair is honey blonde, and silky in appearance.

Eye Colour

Hazel brown.

Physical Appearance

Her appearance is pretty unusual for her tribe, as she has pale, freckled skin. She constantly has a shy smile playing upon her lips, and an open, honest expression on her face, which is framed by long golden hair that spills over to just above her waist. The elf maiden's build is slight, almost childlike, with no womanly curves to speak of; her ex-lover Nyssa would often gently tease her about this. Elise has a small scar along the right side of her jaw from falling out of a tree; she was trying to get close to a nest of birds in order to sketch them.

Her ears are quite long and floppy, and this feature, coupled with her button nose, can often put people in mind of a chatty and inquisitive rabbit. In fact, Elise is quite expressive with her ears, often to comic effect; when surprised or caught off-guard her ears will shoot backwards, and when particularly pleased with herself the young elfess' ears will twitch excitedly.

Her hands are small and dainty, ideally suited to working with and examining small items; Elise's fingers are slim and seem quite a bit longer than normal.

Clothing

Elise favours simple, if colourful attire, her favourite costume being a pastel green skirt and top, with various pockets located around her garments for measuring instruments and notepaper. Holding up the elf's dress is a thin leather belt with a silver buckle; built into the rear of this is a small sheath holding a dagger that's seen better days. Her skirt and top are lined with white trimming, in keeping with the colours of Léarin, the High Fae Elise worships.

Personality

Elise, as with most Aeolrhan, is an extremely cheerful and flighty person, and can be quite easily led. However, her obsession with numbers and patterns has been a lifelong one, and seems to show no sign of fading any time soon. This can often be troublesome to others, as she will think nothing of constantly pestering complete strangers if she becomes curious about them.

The only time Elise can become upset is at the mention of family; she was adopted after being found as a small child, and can remember nothing about her previous life. Her feelings are deeply conflicted about this, as she desperately wants to know about her origins, but also realises that her adoptive mother has loved her as well as any parent. Elise's thoughts turn from grief to guilt, and her mood becomes inceasingly melancholy, even sullen.

Religion

The studious and enthusiastic youth worships Léarin, goddess of wisdom, and carries a small poppet of the deity with her at all times. Whenever she is feeling nervous or indecisive, Elise can be seen reaching into her skirt pocket to feel the small artefact; its physical presence seems to calm her.

Elise came to learn of the High Fae through her adoptive mother, who would often relate stories of them to her at night once she had been tucked in to bed. Once she had heard about Léarin in particular, Elise became besotted with the idea of someone representing knowledge and wisdom; Léarin was the embodiment of everything she wanted to be, the scholar's scholar! Soon afterwards, in a rare display of artistic endeavour, Elise carved a small poppet of the child deity - with a little help from Alice - and carried it everywhere with her.

Strengths

Observation - After spending so many hours patiently observing both animals and people, the young elfess possesses an unnatural ability to 'read' both situations and individuals. Anyone attempting to tell barefaced lies to this studious girl will very quickly be found out. Elise can also accurately recall details of anything she chooses to observe; her memory is nigh-on perfect.

Game Theory - Being mathematically minded, Elise can very often play the odds at gambling - when she's not too drunk. This allows her to dredge up some money whenever funds are running dangerously low.

Weaknesses

Weakling - Even among her tribe, Elise is considered exceedingly weak. Moderate exertion will wear her out, and the elfess requires constant rest when travelling; this also explains her relatively few belongings. Elise doesn't choose to travel lightly; she has to.

Drink - Elise is not able to go for too long without propping up a bar somewhere, and finds it extremely difficult to pass up the opportunity to drink whenever it arrives. Once drunk, she can become flirtatious with anyone and everyone, and loses all of her focus and keen powers of observation.

Cowardly - The young elfess can become extremely frightened even at the thought of violence; she has long suspected that this may be connected to her past, and how she came to be found at a riverbank. She has been known to burst into tears, babble hysterically and even faint. Strangely enough, she still insists on placing herself in dangerous situations, despite knowing full well how hopeless she is in them. This can be a great concern to others, as she often unwittingly becomes a burden on them.

History

"But tell me why, Mother! I want to know!"

Elise was discovered during a normal fishing trip by an elderly Aeolrhan called Alice; a small child lying naked and unconscious on a riverbank. Having no children of her own, and never having wed, Alice decided there and then to take this child in and raise her as her own daughter. Although she had desperately tried to remember something, anything, about where she originally came from, the young elf maiden's memory remains completely blank. This had a deep psychological impact on Elise; she silently vowed to herself that she would learn everything about the world around her, as if to compensate for not knowing about herself.

As time moves on, people in Elise's village cannot help but notice that her behaviour is a little...off. She had many friends and lovers, this was true, but whereas others would flit capriciously from one partner to the next Elise would pour all her love into one coupling. It was almost human!

Her ability to identify and solve problems for her friends and neighbours was remarkable - especially, as some would grumble behind her back, there wasn't any problem until she decided to meddle. The one achievement of which Elise is modestly proud is that of helping fishermen catch greater hauls by regularly observing the movements and habits of local fish (why is she sketching them? What's the point?!).

Eventually, tired of the constant talk about her eccentric behaviour and overly possessive nature, Nyssa, Elise's 'one true love' (what a strange phrase!) decided to leave for good. This threw her completely off balance, and she has spent the last few months licking her wounds and getting drunk, whilst searching for a way to find meaning in her life once more.

But last night, after staring at the bottom of another bottle of cheap wine, Elise decided that this state of affairs simply wouldn't do. No, she would silence the naysayers once and for all, and build a great reputation for herself. She would no longer be looked upon as Elise the dreamer, the eccentric fool; she would become the legendary Elise, the greatest elf scholar to have ever lived! And Nyssa would surely rue the day she turned away and walked from her! But first, she would need money to fund her incredible exploits. And maybe just one more glass of wine...

Weapons

-A small, unremarkable dagger; in all honesty the cheerful elf wouldn't know how to fight with this antique weapon. Elise carries it as a keepsake from her adoptive mother, and always feels somewhat awkward when holding it, although she has often found it to be useful as makeshift cutlery

Belongings

-Top left pocket of top, at front:
  + A small notebook, about half full of various sketches of birds, boat designs and hastily scribbled ideas
  + Small piece of charcoal
-Lower left pocket of top, at front:
  + Small eyeglass, that magnifies things a little; good for examining small objects
  + Small rule measure
-Skirt pocket, located at rear
  + Coinpurse
-Skirt pocket, right hip
  + A poppet of Léarin, in the form of a small child deep in meditation

[Mannix]

Welcome to Santharia Elise. I like the idea of you character, but it does need some work. But we'll be here to help you along. Firstly, you'll want to check out Character Creation, the link in in my signature and on your left side bar. This will give you the correct layout for you CD. For example, you lack a history right now. After that I would suggest taking a peak at the Approved Characters Archives II, to see some approved CDs. That will give you an idea on the content and length of CDs. But don't be scared by some of the really long ones, that isn't necessary. Once you have done those two things you can come back to your CD and fill in all the blanks. When that is done someone will check it for you. Good luck.

Mannix

[Elise]

All done. Please read and comment.

[krinton]

Very nice story I like it. Now if only I was that detailed 

[Elise]

I'm not entirely sure how this works, so I'll just bump to show that everything's ready to be looked over. I won't reply again until I get a response or I fall off the front page. I don't want to annoy anyone! 

[Zann Lightbringer]

Greetings Elise, and welcome to the Dream. You know, have the right to bump your CD every three days or so if you haven't received any comments. You also have the right to annoy the CD mods, since the reason that they became CD mods is to check the CD's of people. It's not just for decoration. Minimods not included.

I would like you to follow this format in creating your CD. It's much easier to check the CD in this way. Do this, and ask the CD mods to check your CD again.

Have a nice day.

[Elise]

Thanks, Zann. Hopefully, this is now clearer for everyone to see. I didn't include a familiar section as Elise doesn't have any, although she's fascinated by birds and will sketch them whenever the chance arises.

[Rookie Brownbark]

Hey Elise, and welcome to Santharia.

One thing I noticed whilst having a look through your CD was your strengths and weaknesses.  We need about 2-3 sentences for each one at least to really know how much it's helping/hindering you.

I'm also not sure that a Medieval-Style community would have very many mathematicians.  Maybe you could say what she does with her maths instead, or make up a more medieval-sounding name for the job?  Figgerer? Or even "Scholar", as that seems to be her passion in the history. 

See you again soon,

Rookie xxx

[Elise]

Yeah, I agree with you about the Mathematician thing. I've expanded on the strengths and weaknesses too; fingers crossed my CD'll be OK this time!

[Elise]

Whoops. I just noticed I was using the same avatar as Sorsha Cleavins. I don't know if that's a problem, but I've changed my character's avatar and CD to match, just to be safe. 

[Elise]

Greetings Elise, and welcome to the Dream. You know, have the right to bump your CD every three days or so if you haven't received any comments. You also have the right to annoy the CD mods, since the reason that they became CD mods is to check the CD's of people. It's not just for decoration. Minimods not included.

I would like you to follow this format in creating your CD. It's much easier to check the CD in this way. Do this, and ask the CD mods to check your CD again.

Have a nice day.

I'll just follow Zann's advice here and annoy the CD mods a little bit; I'm now ready for comments, so bumpity-bump! 

[Zann Lightbringer]

Greetings Elise, and welcome to the dream. Comments in the fiery color of red.

Name

Elise (Surname unknown; see History)

Gender

Female

Age

28 (Presumed to be 3 years of age when discovered; see History)(Is this in elven years?)

Race

Elf

Tribe

Aeolrhan

Occupation

Gambler / Freelance researcher

Title

Aspiring Scholar

Overview

My character's name is Elise, and she is an aspiring scholar. Being Aeolrhan, she is obsessed with the way that the world can be described in terms of numbers and patterns, unfortunately to the point where her girlfriend left her. She became depressed and turned to drink to help her through this uncomfortable period, and unfortunately she is now rather obsessed with drink. She is currently trying to figure out a solid formula for creating Aeolrhan artwork, which she can then sell on for a tidy sum; meanwhile, she manages to scrape a living by winning gambling matches and selling her musings to anyone who's willing to pay for them.

Height

2 Peds, 1 Fore, 1 Palmspan, 6 Nailsbreadths, 3 Grains (2.5 Metres)

Weight

1 Pygge, 2 Hebs, 1 Hafeb, 2 Ods (10 stone)

Hair Colour

Elise's hair is honey blonde, and silky in appearance.

Eye Colour

Hazel brown

Physical Appearance

Her appearance is pretty atypical for elves, as she has pale, freckled skin. She constantly has a shy smile playing upon her lips, and an open, honest expression on her face which is framed by long golden hair that spills over to just above her waist. The elf maiden's build is slight, almost childlike, with no womanly curves to speak of; her ex-lover Nyssa would often gently tease her about this. Elise has a small scar along the right side of her jaw from falling out of a tree; she was trying to get close to a nest of birds in order to sketch them.

Clothing

Elise favours simple, if colourful attire, her favourite costume being a pastel green skirt & top, with various pockets located around her garments for measuring instruments and note paper. Holding up the elf's dress is a thin leather belt with a silver buckle; built into the rear of this is a small sheath holding a dagger that's seen better days. Her skirt and top are lined with white trimming, in keeping with the colours of Léarin, the High Fae Elise worships

Personality

Elise, as with all Aeolrhan, is an extremely cheerful and flighty person, and can be quite easily lead. However, her obsession with numbers and patterns has been a lifelong one, and seems to show no sign of fading any time soon. This can often be troublesome to others, as she will think nothing of constantly pestering complete strangers if she becomes curious about them.

The only time Elise can become upset is at the mention of family; she was adopted after being found as a small child, and can remember nothing about her previous life. Her feelings are deeply conflicted about this, as she desperately wants to know about her origins, but also realises(realizes) that her adoptive mother has loved her as well as any parent. Elise's thoughts turn from grief to guilt, and her mood becomes inceasingly(increasingly) melancholy, even sullen.

The studious and enthusiastic youth worships Léarin, goddess of wisdom, and carries a small poppet of the deity with her at all times. Whenever she is feeling nervous or indecisive, Elise can be seen reaching into her skirt pocket to feel the small artefact(artifact); its physical presence seems to calm her.(This should be in your religion section.)

Strengths

Agility - Having spent most of her life climbing trees, crawling into holes and otherwise squeezing into seemingly inaccessible places, Elise is extremely nimble and flexible. Her body is well-toned and she possesses a great deal of coordination; she can very often reach places that others could not.

Observation - After spending so many hours patiently observing both animals and people, the young elfess possesses an unnatural ability to 'read' both situations and individuals. Anyone attempting to tell barefaced lies to this studious girl will very quickly be found out. Elise can also accurately recall details of anything she chooses to observe; her memory is nigh-on perfect.

Artist - Elise's tribe's inherent artistic skill translates into an ability to draw plans/maps very well, very quickly, meaning that she has hardly ever been lost in her life. Coupled with her excellent memory, this allows her to accurately draw anything she chooses, with only the briefest of glimpses being required.

Game Theory - Being mathematically minded, Elise can very often play the odds at gambling - when she's not too drunk. This allows her to dredge up some money whenever funds are running dangerously low.

Weaknesses

Weakling - Even among her tribe, Elise is considered exceedingly weak. Moderate exertion will wear her out, and the elfess requires constant rest when travelling(traveling); this also explains her relatively few belongings. Elise doesn't choose to travel lightly; she has to.

Drink - Elise is not able to go for too long without propping up a bar somewhere, and finds it extremely difficult to pass up the opportunity to drink whenever it arrives. Once drunk, she can become flirtatious with anyone and everyone, and loses all of her focus and keen powers of observation

Magical ablilities

The young elfess possesses no magical abilities whatsoever, although she greatly admires those who do; she may often pester those who wield magic for demonstrations of their skills.(You can remove this section, since she has no magical training.)

History

"But tell me why, Mother! I want to know!"

My character was discovered during a normal fishing trip by an elderly Aeolrhan called Alice; a small child lying naked and unconscious on a river bank. Having no children of her own, and never having wed, Alice decided there and then to take this child in and raise her as her own daughter. Although she had desperately tried to remember something, anything, about where she originally came from, the young elf maiden's memory remains completely blank. This had a deep psychological impact on Elise; she silently vowed to herself that she would learn everything about the world around her, as if to compensate for not knowing about herself.

As time moves on, people in Elise's village cannot help but notice that her behaviour is a little...off. She had many friends and lovers, this was true, but whereas others would flit capriciously from one partner to the next Elise would pour all her love into one coupling. It was almost human!

Her ability to identify and solve problems for her friends and neighbours was remarkable - especially, as some would grumble behind her back, there wasn't any problem until she decided to meddle. The one achievement of which Elise is modestly proud is that of helping fishermen catch greater hauls by regularly observing the movements and habits of local fish (why is she sketching them? What's the point?!).

Eventually, tired of the constant talk about her eccentric behaviour and overly possessive nature, Nyssa, Elise's 'one true love' (what a strange phrase!) decided to leave for good. This threw her completely off balance, and she has spent the last few months licking her wounds and getting drunk, whilst searching for a way to find meaning in her life once more.

But last night, after staring at the bottom of another bottle of cheap wine, Elise decided that this state of affairs simply wouldn't do. No, she would silence the naysayers once and for all, and build a great reputation for herself. She would no longer be looked upon as Elise the dreamer, the eccentric fool; she would become the legendary Elise, the greatest elf scholar to have ever lived! And Nyssa would surely rue the day she turned away and walked from her! But first, she would need money to fund her incredible exploits. And maybe just one more glass of wine...
(Nice story, but how did she learn to worship Léarin?)

Weapons

-A small, unremarkable dagger; in all honesty the cheerful elf wouldn't know how to fight with this antique weapon. Elise carries it as a keepsake from her adoptive mother, and always feels somewhat awkward when holding it, although she has often found it to be useful as makeshift cutlery

Belongings

-Top left pocket of top, at front:
  + A small notebook, about half full of various sketches of birds, boat designs and hastily scribbled ideas
  + Small piece of charcoal
-Lower left pocket of top, at front:
  + Small eyeglass, enables 5X magnification
  + Small rule measure
-Skirt pocket, located at rear
  + Coinpurse
-Skirt pocket, right hip
  + A poppet of Léarin, in the form of a small child deep in meditation

And there you go. I just commented on the misspelled words and a few common mistakes. My apologies, but I was never an adept about Santharian elves, especially tribes from as far as Aeruillin . Please wait for elf experts to look in your CD, you can give them a PM, or post a request in this thread.

Have a nice day.

[Mannix]

Hey Elise. I'll see if I can comment a bit, but I'm no elven expert either.
Name

Elise (Surname unknown; see History)

Gender

Female

Age

28 (Presumed to be 3 years of age when discovered; see History)

Race

Elf

Tribe

Aeolrhan

Occupation

Gambler / Freelance researcher

Title

Aspiring Scholar

Overview

My character's name is Elise, and she is an aspiring scholar. Being Aeolrhan, she is obsessed with the way that the world can be described in terms of numbers and patterns, unfortunately to the point where her girlfriend left her. She became depressed and turned to drink to help her through this uncomfortable period, and unfortunately she is now rather obsessed with drink. She is currently trying to figure out a solid formula for creating Aeolrhan artwork, which she can then sell on for a tidy sum; meanwhile, she manages to scrape a living by winning gambling matches and selling her musings to anyone who's willing to pay for them.

Height

2 Peds, 1 Fore, 1 Palmspan, 6 Nailsbreadths, 3 Grains (2.5 Metres) (You can remove the grains. We cant be that accurate in Santharia, especially when your height actually changes slightly over the course of the day.)

Weight

1 Pygge, 2 Hebs, 1 Hafeb, 2 Ods (10 stone)

Hair Colour

Elise's hair is honey blonde, and silky in appearance.

Eye Colour

Hazel brown

Physical Appearance

Her appearance is pretty atypical for elves(Perhaps it would be best to say her tribe instead of elves, as I dont think all elves look like that.), as she has pale, freckled skin. She constantly has a shy smile playing upon her lips, and an open, honest expression on her face,<~~(comma) which is framed by long golden hair that spills over to just above her waist. The elf maiden's build is slight, almost childlike, with no womanly curves to speak of; her ex-lover Nyssa would often gently tease her about this. Elise has a small scar along the right side of her jaw from falling out of a tree; she was trying to get close to a nest of birds in order to sketch them.
(I do like this appearance so far, as it is more original than many. However, it could do with a bit of expansion. Often people describe the face in at least one paragraph, the body in another and so on. For Elise you have described her smile and the scar. Just try and tell us about her nose, eyes and ears, their shape and any unusual features. Im sure you could write a bit more, and if you need any help dont hesitate to ask any of us.)

Clothing

Elise favours simple, if colourful attire, her favourite costume being a pastel green skirt &(Write this as and, it just is more formal.) top, with various pockets located around her garments for measuring instruments and note(no space)paper. Holding up the elf's dress is a thin leather belt with a silver buckle; built into the rear of this is a small sheath holding a dagger that's seen better days. Her skirt and top are lined with white trimming, in keeping with the colours of Léarin, the High Fae Elise worships.<~~(full stop)

Personality

Elise, as with all(Change this to most, as you cant dictate what others are like.) Aeolrhan, is an extremely cheerful and flighty person, and can be quite easily lead(led?). However, her obsession with numbers and patterns has been a lifelong one, and seems to show no sign of fading any time soon. This can often be troublesome to others, as she will think nothing of constantly pestering complete strangers if she becomes curious about them.

The only time Elise can become upset is at the mention of family; she was adopted after being found as a small child, and can remember nothing about her previous life. Her feelings are deeply conflicted about this, as she desperately wants to know about her origins, but also realises(This is spelt okay, just the British spelling.) that her adoptive mother has loved her as well as any parent. Elise's thoughts turn from grief to guilt, and her mood becomes increasingly melancholy, even sullen. (Like it )

The studious and enthusiastic youth worships Léarin, goddess of wisdom, and carries a small poppet of the deity with her at all times. Whenever she is feeling nervous or indecisive, Elise can be seen reaching into her skirt pocket to feel the small artefact(This is also spelt the British way, and so okay.); its physical presence seems to calm her.

Strengths

Agility - Having spent most of her life climbing trees, crawling into holes and otherwise squeezing into seemingly inaccessible places, Elise is extremely nimble and flexible. Her body is well-toned and she possesses a great deal of coordination; she can very often reach places that others could not.

Observation - After spending so many hours patiently observing both animals and people, the young elfess possesses an unnatural ability to 'read' both situations and individuals. Anyone attempting to tell barefaced lies to this studious girl will very quickly be found out. Elise can also accurately recall details of anything she chooses to observe; her memory is nigh-on perfect.

Artist - Elise's tribe's inherent artistic skill translates into an ability to draw plans/maps very well, very quickly, meaning that she has hardly ever been lost in her life. Coupled with her excellent memory, this allows her to accurately draw anything she chooses, with only the briefest of glimpses being required.

Game Theory - Being mathematically minded, Elise can very often play the odds at gambling - when she's not too drunk. This allows her to dredge up some money whenever funds are running dangerously low.

Weaknesses

Weakling - Even among her tribe, Elise is considered exceedingly weak. Moderate exertion will wear her out, and the elfess requires constant rest when travelling(And this is also fine.); this also explains her relatively few belongings. Elise doesn't choose to travel lightly; she has to.

Drink - Elise is not able to go for too long without propping up a bar somewhere, and finds it extremely difficult to pass up the opportunity to drink whenever it arrives. Once drunk, she can become flirtatious with anyone and everyone, and loses all of her focus and keen powers of observation

Magical ablilities

The young elfess possesses no magical abilities whatsoever, although she greatly admires those who do; she may often pester those who wield magic for demonstrations of their skills.

History

"But tell me why, Mother! I want to know!"

My character was discovered during a normal fishing trip by an elderly Aeolrhan called Alice; a small child lying naked and unconscious on a river(no space)bank. Having no children of her own, and never having wed, Alice decided there and then to take this child in and raise her as her own daughter. Although she had desperately tried to remember something, anything, about where she originally came from, the young elf maiden's memory remains completely blank. This had a deep psychological impact on Elise; she silently vowed to herself that she would learn everything about the world around her, as if to compensate for not knowing about herself.

As time moves on, people in Elise's village cannot help but notice that her behaviour is a little...off. She had many friends and lovers, this was true, but whereas others would flit capriciously from one partner to the next Elise would pour all her love into one coupling. It was almost human!

Her ability to identify and solve problems for her friends and neighbours was remarkable - especially, as some would grumble behind her back, there wasn't any problem until she decided to meddle. The one achievement of which Elise is modestly proud is that of helping fishermen catch greater hauls by regularly observing the movements and habits of local fish (why is she sketching them? What's the point?!).

Eventually, tired of the constant talk about her eccentric behaviour and overly possessive nature, Nyssa, Elise's 'one true love' (what a strange phrase!) decided to leave for good. This threw her completely off balance, and she has spent the last few months licking her wounds and getting drunk, whilst searching for a way to find meaning in her life once more.

But last night, after staring at the bottom of another bottle of cheap wine, Elise decided that this state of affairs simply wouldn't do. No, she would silence the naysayers once and for all, and build a great reputation for herself. She would no longer be looked upon as Elise the dreamer, the eccentric fool; she would become the legendary Elise, the greatest elf scholar to have ever lived! And Nyssa would surely rue the day she turned away and walked from her! But first, she would need money to fund her incredible exploits. And maybe just one more glass of wine...

Weapons

-A small, unremarkable dagger; in all honesty the cheerful elf wouldn't know how to fight with this antique weapon. Elise carries it as a keepsake from her adoptive mother, and always feels somewhat awkward when holding it, although she has often found it to be useful as makeshift cutlery

Belongings

-Top left pocket of top, at front:
  + A small notebook, about half full of various sketches of birds, boat designs and hastily scribbled ideas
  + Small piece of charcoal
-Lower left pocket of top, at front:
  + Small eyeglass, enables 5X magnification, (Would Santharians be able to know the magnification of a magnifying glass?)
  + Small rule measure
-Skirt pocket, located at rear
  + Coin purse
-Skirt pocket, right hip
  + A poppet of Léarin, in the form of a small child deep in meditation

And there we go. Good luck.

Mannix

[Elise]

OK, finally done (fingers crossed)! Any and all comments welcome! 

[Eléyr Fásamár]

No time for a full check, but here's a few things to bide your time meanwhile.

1) So she was found and adopted into an Aeolrhan society. Was she lost by other Aeolrhans? Or did she originate from another tribe. This is important to know, as we prefer the tribe section be more her ancestoral tribe, while the history cover what people she might have actually lived with.

2) A few times you say 'my character'. That seems to disrupt the flow - acknowledging that she is just a character in a world that is very much 'real' to her seems odd. Replacing this with a phrase like 'the elfess' or 'the scholar' would flow a bit better.

3) Regarding your age .... I don't know what you mean by 28 elf years. Their years are the same as humans. Use the Elven Aging Calculator to see how old you want your elf to be. For example, if you want her to look 28, set it on appearance and type in 28. The entry says they live to about 500 years and originate from the Maeverhim, so since the Aeolrhan aren't on there, just use the Maeverhim instead.

Advanced search

[Members]

Members Total Members: 2841 Latest: Hafontty Stats Total Posts: 214555 Total Topics: 8050 Online Today: 13 Online Ever: 216 (November 30, 2006, 09:08:03 AM) Users Online Users: 0 Guests: 15 Total: 15

[Artimidor]

	Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2005, Simple Machines TinyPortal v0.9.8 © Bloc
Theme based on Cerberus with Risen adjustments by Bloc and Krelia Modified By Artimidor for The Santharian Dream