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Author Topic: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró/Maeverhim/Cultivator-Mage  (Read 15397 times)
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Athviaro Shyu-eck-Silfayr
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« Reply #15 on: March 22, 2010, 06:33:58 AM »

Whoah, Avash, cool it. Shouting at the mods will get you nowhere at all. They do try to help, but you have to do the work. You can't expect them to post the entire magic section for you to read? Is it that hard to click on a link? I advise you spend a few hours - or just an hour or so - reading about magic, elves and the rest in a calm receptive mood. Then ask nicely. The mods have RL too - they do not only exist for your benefit. I'm sorry if people seem to be shouting, but Caelereth has to be internally consistent.
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I warn you, if you bore me, I shall take my revenge -- JRR Tolkein

Athviaro Shyu-eck-Silfayr
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« Reply #16 on: March 29, 2010, 10:22:05 AM »

Does it need more flesh? Is it too skinny? I think I've come to terms with how people state things... so give it all you got...
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Avásh
Deklitch Hardin
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« Reply #17 on: April 03, 2010, 10:51:37 PM »

Hi Avash,

Sorry for taking a few days to get back to you on your CD. It is starting to look better.

I'm having a bit of trouble working out where one strength/weakness ends and the next one starts.

With my CDs, I find it easier to give a title to strengths/weaknesses, and then describe how it helps/hinders my character.

For example in your case I'd say

Cultivator: ... ... ...

Wind Mage: Avash is a level __ wind mage and hopes to one day be a stronger and famous mage. This helps him because ...

See ... I've broken your first two strengths (at least I think they are two seperate strengths) into two seperate paragraphs.

See if you can do something like that with your other strengths and weaknesses. We are getting there, lets keep on going with the process and get you approved, shall we? :) Thumb up
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Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró
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« Reply #18 on: April 19, 2010, 04:20:14 AM »

Anything else? Am I ready? Is there something else wrong? It's been a few days now...
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Avásh
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« Reply #19 on: April 19, 2010, 04:44:34 AM »

Avásh,

It is easiest on the mods and CD commentators if you make a short post in your CD thread letting us know its ready for more comments, as well as changing the icon to the '!'. Making a brief even along the lines of 'Comments integrated. More comments requested.' brings it to the top of the pile of CDs and brings it back to our attention. Thankyou for bringing it to our attention now. I'll try to look at it when I get off work this afternoon, unless another mod gets to it first.

Dek
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Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró
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« Reply #20 on: April 23, 2010, 11:08:00 AM »

Comments/Critique requested. Thank you very much for taking your time to look at this!
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Avásh
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« Reply #21 on: April 24, 2010, 01:49:13 PM »

Hello Avá, I am a nely titled character but with the research I have done on Maeverhim elves coupled with my poking around on the sight, I believe I am pretty knowledgable.  I will be commenting in blue.  I must state though that although I am pretty profficient with the magic system now, I still have alot to learn.

Name: Avásh'ám'Térqu'ypheró ( Wind and Weather)

Gender: Male

Age: 25 (16 by appearance)

Race: Elf

Tribe: Maeverhim

Occupation: Cultivator/ Wind Mage

Title: The Grey King's Mage

Overview: Avásh, at the age of 25, grew up with cultivators for parents, although they often had tourists showing up on his doorstep hoping to spend a day and: " Experience the Maeverhim way." (If I am right human turists usually don't pass much farther than Seria and yet your house is located somewhere deeper in the forests) His parents, both pure in breed, knew their trade very well, and passed on the skills to him. He is quiet, and reserved, and likes  people, once he warms up to them. He has a big heart and likes meeting new people. He's young and has the whole world ahead of him.

Appearance

Height:  1 Ped, 2 Fores, 3 Nailsbreadth, 2 Grains

Weight: 1 Pygge, 1 Heb, 3 Ods, 4 Mut

Hair Color: Dark brown

Eye Color: Dark brown

Physical Appearance

Body Structure and Physical Features: Avásh sports many of the traditional Maeverhim features including the naturally black fingernails and toenails, although the normally green or blue eyes that are commonly seen in the tribe have been substituted for his dark chocolate eyes. His face is thin, as well as the rest of his body structure. He is skinny, but no one really notices due to his clothing. His hair is medium length and always pulled back into a ponytail. This comes as somewhat of a shock to his family members. They do not quite understand why it is pulled back, but he reasons that it is due to his inability to work with it falling in his seeds, food, plants, and dirty underwear piles. Eventually however, he decided one day to take most of his hair off; on the day one year after his parents had died. He has been growing it back ever since. This also has him stand out somewhat in the crowd of long-haired Maeverhim. His cheekbones are high, his lips, and brow stern, but when he smiles, one knows all is well. He has longer legs than normal, accounting for about 55 percent of his height rather than the normal 50 percent. He has lean, long muscle, making him resemble something akin to a not-quite-so-attractive woman, and is often mistaken for it, but he shrugs off comments like those, as the persons commenting don't realize it at the time. He also a very short Maeverhim, although he is still very young and hasn't h ad time to finish growing. His short height gives him a slight disadvantage when it comes to playing games with the others and climbing tress and the like.

Clothing: Baggy blue and green garb that catches the wind in a majestic way. His attire is traditional like that of most of the other Maeverhim; baggy pants and shorts designed to break the stories he descends. He also sports a necklace made from the nightshimmer vines, although no one knows how it stays alive... He also has one nice set of clothes, special for holidays, and one other that he wares on his parent's death day, as to remember them (If Avásh has amnesia how could he remember them?). His holiday garb includes a slightly less baggy white shirt, with oddly enough, a collar, for it makes him feel dressy, gleaming with nightshimmer vine knitted into it; and his rememberence clothes include that of a very dark green, with dark blue stitching, although he almost always wears his traditional set of clothes.

Personality: Being quiet and reserved for most of his life, Avásh has a hard time warming up to people, but once he does, he creates a friendship that lasts a lifetime, although his prejudice against fire often gets him in trouble with the tourists. He likes playing around with others, as well as trying new things. He is very adventurous and loves to do anything outdoorsy. He oft goes out to Seraia just to see what people do, how they react, and what he can do to help. He is quite simple in nature, although he is something of a mentalist. He enjoys figuring out how people tick

Strengths and Weaknesses

Strengths:
Cultivator:
Avásh is a very well practiced cultivator. He can sow almost any seed watch it bloom with radiance with the help of The Grey King (I'm not completely sure about this but I think this would fall under clerical magic which requires a whole different set of training then Ximixian magic.). Also, due to his knowledge of cultivation, herbalists also find him helpful as he can grow things much quicker than one would have expected. He takes pride in this, and Váras helps him sell some of the herbs he has grown; as he is still very shy.

Wind Mage: Level 1
Avásh hopes to become a great mage one day, as he has seen many other Wind Mages pass through and send a slight breeze his way as thanks. He is skilled in Wind Magic, hoping one day to be a recognized as a someone to turn to for help. He has been taking courses from the School for 4 years now and is quite skilled, although he still has a long way to go. He often has trouble getting near other mages due to his  past experience with Fire and Water Mages, although he enjoys watching tourists, that visit his town, jump in glee when he sends a little breeze their way as a goodbye.

Mentalist:
He often examines people very closely, watching their actions and what they say so he can help them in the best way possible, and for the people who he dislikes, he can decide how to wrong them if they wronged him, mostly through verbal exploitation. He can often find out exactly what to say to make people reveal their true feelings, or, in the case of people he doesn't like, he can create mental havoc, breaking their hearts in the most cruel of ways (I can't quite tell if you're talking about using wind magic here, but if you are then Avásh is definately not skilled enough to perform this type of magic.).

Height:
His short stature, is at times a disadvantage, but it can be advantageous. During training at the School, as well as during some hide-and-seek games he still often plays, he can fit into smaller spaces, as well as become more friendly with the non-natives as he can, for lack of a better phrase, "bring it down to their level."

Weaknesses:

Poor Salesperson:
Although Avásh is an experienced cultivator, he often has trouble selling his goods to others; he is often overly generous and so ready to please that he hurts his loved ones as well as himself in the process (Isnt this a seperate weakness?). He is clumsy and oft not to handle fragile object(Again, isnt this a seperate weakness?).

Memory Loss:
 Due to his memory lost, he often avoids questions about his past and substitutes them with questions about the his necklace. It also causes him some confusion from time to time, as he cannot remember the "cherished childhood memories" that everyone else talks about, only the ones of a few recent years.

Rebellious Nature:
He also doesn't enjoy complying with people or authoritative figures. He has a hard time swallowing his pride and doing as others say, unless of course, it is elder or the Rónn or Ránn. This often got him  in trouble as a child, becuase he had a hard time enjoying guests who did not enjoy kids.

Height
His short height also makes him very tired very quickly, as the others can take nice long strides, while he must take at least four times as many to keep up.

Brief History:
Not much is known about Avásh or what his past was like. He can only remember a few happy moments in his life before he turned 25. During his childhood, he grew up learning to swing from tree to tree, training on the platforms which held the lounging, what the humans would call, " Big Beanbag-chairs." If he fell, he would scold himself, always saying that if he ever became Earthburned, he would move on to greater adventures, outside of Maeverhim country. As far back as he could remember, his parents held parties inviting humans and those of other races to come and "Experience the Maeverhim way." They oft were astonished at the lack of fire in the town, and were quickly silenced and told to wait. He did enjoy jumping around, performing acrobatic stunts to please and entertain the groups. Into his teens, the groups of travelers became less interested in him, so he took to learning the cultivating skill that his mother and father were so well known for. He worked hard, building his knowlege of how to grow, and the influence Grothar had on their people. One day however,on his 25th birthday, his mother, Eliás, and his father, Fiér, were riding from branch to branch, taking any method possible to get to the town of Seraia, placed high on stilts by walkways and bridge-ways. His parents then lead him through the small town toward the market place, selling their wares and trying to teach Avásh how to do the same. When they had walked into a produce market, Avásh noticed that they were being followed by a few others, seeming to keep their distance, but hide when he looked their way. They were dark in skin tone, and had bright fiery red hair. Both of them had yellow eyes... nothing like he had ever seen. They were Human-like in nature, standing out amongst the fair skinned Maeverhim. Their intentions looked menacing, although no one seemed to notice. They walked slowly and even though they received questioning looks, they walked with confidence and self-importance. When they had reached the appropriate bridge-way before the stall, the followers followed them in and knocked out Avásh. They then sent forth a ring of burning ice, surround his parents. As his parents were not skilled in anything but cultivation, experienced in simple trade and how to grow and breed plants; hence they couldn't resist the attack. The mages closed the ring around Eliás and Fiér eventually causing suffocation, as the fire burned all oxygen in the immediate area. They took the nightshimmer vine necklaces from their necks, planning to use it to for the entrancement and manipulation of others. Before leaving the area, they tried to remove all evidence that might lead someone back to them; as well as melting the ice and extinguishing the fire. With a final kick to Avásh's stomach, they ran off leaving him and his dead parents in the bridge-way before the stall. (Valin is right,mages are usually solitary and don't wear any uniformal clothing.  You also don't explain why anybody would attack a group of peacefull elves who live in trees and don't harm anybody. When Avásh awoke, he saw his parents lying there, and their nighshimmer vine necklaces removed from their neck and a slight burn mark where they were cut. Although it wasn't intended, the knock that rendered him unconscious caused acute amnesia and Avásh lost most memories of his childhood, but not of his recent memories of the School or his training. He hopes one day that someone can help him remember what happened... if that's at all possible. A few hours after the attack, the shop-keep had left the cloth-covered stall for a moment for a breath of fresh air. As she pulled back the cloth, she found Avásh and his parents lying on the floor. She quickly gathered the other elves from the Sharadon Forest and sent him to her house to recover; as for the parents, when Avásh was able to walk again, they gave them a proper funeral; the Maeverhim way. From that day on, Avásh has lived for the most part by himself, with the shop-keep and school taking care of him. The shop-keep, Váras, has now become something of a mother figure to Avásh.

Magical Experiences:
   At the age of 19, Avásh was accepted into the local School (Corect me if I'm wrong but there is no official school that teaches magic except for Ximax which is almost a thousand miles away from Sharadon Forest.  If Avásh showed interest in magic he would likely be schooled by a local wind mage.), where he would learn to become a Wind Mage. His schooling, as most would say, was grueling and tough. There wasn't much that he didn't want to know, although his lack of experience hindered him in learning it. His clumsiness often created more havoc then intended. His lack of knowledge leads him into a world of continued learning as he tries to experience the world; although he can only summon a slight breeze, the Grey King should help him with any ordeals that might be major in the  near-coming future. Through his practice of magic and the local teachings he has received, he can only conjure a simple breeze, make things Vanish, which also entertained the guests at his house, and Reflect images of his target unto others. Although he has great knowledge of these skills, he has no real reason to use them, mostly fun and games, but the protection of his people is the real goal in his mind.

Avásh Carries With Him:

- A bag full of seeds of random sorts, although he can tell what they are
- A book for later spells and current spells that he has learned (I don't beleive mages use spellbooks.  However, being a 1st level mage he would probably need reagents to help himself focus.)
- His traditional set of Maeverhim clothes
- A rucksack full of a few small gardening tools, his spell book, as he does volunteer work to spruce up some of the dying plants in his village (A 1st level wind mage can deffintely not spruce up a plant using majic.)
- His Nightshimmer Necklace placed around his neck
- A few pieces of food such as an apple and some bread and cheese in case he doesn't have time to go back home for a complete meal
« Last Edit: April 24, 2010, 01:57:38 PM by Shatí Úp » Logged

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Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró
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« Reply #22 on: April 24, 2010, 11:42:11 PM »

Haha! I'm sorry! I thought that I had explained some of that! Haha! Okay, well I think that I hopefully explained everything... and thank you, I don't know much about the magic system but I would like to know more! Thank you very much! Anything else?
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Sombody once told me to meet them by Wotésoaltewékotil. Little did I know at the time that Wotésoaltewékotil was the place were the dead meet their family. I'll see you soon, I promise you.

Avásh
Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró
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« Reply #23 on: April 25, 2010, 12:01:13 AM »

Wait... well I'm not sure how to insert quotes, but doesn't it say on the Magic page (located left under General Information) that:

" Most Elven tribes can be assumed to have their own magic school, and Elven characters have the option of being trained in their tribe's school instead of the Academy of Magic."

So couldn't I technically go to the Maeverhim's local school, which I believe that there is one right? Correct me if I'm wrong. So that way I could learn from the local school?
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Sombody once told me to meet them by Wotésoaltewékotil. Little did I know at the time that Wotésoaltewékotil was the place were the dead meet their family. I'll see you soon, I promise you.

Avásh
Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró
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« Reply #24 on: April 25, 2010, 12:09:54 AM »

And under the Maeverhim page... doesn't it say ( Under weapons):

"Their closeness with Grothar gives them the ability to use his powers if they require it."

Or would that too be posted under Clerical Magic? I interpreted it as any Maeverhim could use it... again, correct me if I'm wrong
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Avásh
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« Reply #25 on: April 25, 2010, 12:19:03 AM »

As I said I'm not sure about the clerical magic part, so you should go talk to Kalína.  I'm pretty sure that there's no official Maeverhim school that teaches magic, and as I said before he would learn under a single wind mage.
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Alexandre Scriabin
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« Reply #26 on: April 25, 2010, 01:31:13 AM »

With all of that said, such a skill is still beyond your capabilities. The Elven magic systems may be a bit cloudy of a subject, but such manipulation/perception of that kind isn't within the repertoire of a beginner.
« Last Edit: April 25, 2010, 01:31:34 AM by Alexandre Scriabin » Logged

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Deklitch Hardin
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« Reply #27 on: April 25, 2010, 04:58:33 AM »

I was going to post on this last night before I went to bed, but I was too tired and sleep was more important to me. :D

In any case, I'm here now, so here goes ...

1) Magic System. It can be assumed that the Maeverhim (as an elven tribe) have their own school of magic. However, for the time being, we simply following the same restrictions as for mages who study at Ximax. I think it is safe to assume you can study at the local level.

2) Clerical Magic is currently on the Restricted list as it hasn't been developed sufficiently as yet. Your character calling upon Grothar and having Grothar doing things for him is within the realms of clerical magic. Besides, as Alexandre has said, the abilities to do so would be beyond the capabilities of your character as a level one, even if it wasn't restricted. From my perspective you can't include the part about calling in Gothar in your CD. However, there is nothing to prevent you from talking about the fact that like others of his tribe that Avash honours Grothar.

3) I am unsure what you mean under your mentalist part. However, having both the ability to do Wind Magic and this one (which almost sounds like the ability of the Mind Soothers/Mind Meddlers) would make the character too powerful and unbalanced. I'd strongly recommend that you choose one of them and eliminate the other. Possibly eliminate the Mentalist.

4) Getting back to your magic, go through the list of wind magic spells. Look for ones that are meant for level one mages and see which ones would be of most help to you. (There are only three of them with complete spell write ups. Try something like the following ... Indicate the name of the spell, then write about how he uses it. Then go onto the next one and do the same thing.

5) You might like to take a look at some approved mage CDs. Consider, for example Fu Luft, a level 3 Wind Mage, or Lyrien Raohalnireal another level 3 wind amge. They have a focus (Fu Luft - Juggling, Lyrien - Playing Music) which their elemental magic supports). You need to work out how your control of the element of wind helps you with your focus (cultivation). To be honest, I can't see the link between our Wind Magic and Cultivation ... I think a stronger link could be made between our Water Magic and Cultivation. But the choice of school is totally up to you.

The best thing is possibly to wait until Malexia or Kalina or someone else with a detailed knowledge of magic is able to come by with their advice regarding this. Although I have a mage CD myself, I would not suggest that I am proficient in the Ximax Magic System ... I'm changing the icon to the question mark ... hopefully a magic expert will be by to give you some advice, Avash. If a magic expert comes along and says my points above are incorrect, please follow their advice and not mine.

Dek
« Last Edit: April 25, 2010, 05:16:50 AM by Deklitch Hardin » Logged

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Valan Nonesuch
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« Reply #28 on: April 25, 2010, 05:32:51 AM »

If what he's describing is wind magic (the bit at the end of the Mentalist section) it doesn't sound too far out of reach. Level three Earth Mages manage something along similar lines by using Delerium. I doubt that the effect would be as pronounced as is described in the CD however.

As far as I can tell, a general decrease in the influence of wind in a target is likely to make them slow of thought, less clear of head and irritable (lightness, clarity and calmness respectively). It would not be a long effect and I doubt it would be a particularly drastic change. Relatively minor, changing their attitude from nonchalant to gruff or rude.
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Avásh ám Térqu'ypheró
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« Reply #29 on: April 25, 2010, 05:52:38 AM »

I changed instead the Mentalist part to just Observer, for now, unless it is possible, but if not, that's my back-up plan.
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Sombody once told me to meet them by Wotésoaltewékotil. Little did I know at the time that Wotésoaltewékotil was the place were the dead meet their family. I'll see you soon, I promise you.

Avásh
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