Calron Moonsilver / Erpheronian / Noble

[Calron Moonsilver]

Adjusted as you have requested Sylvia, I trust that everything will be in order. With the coin that he has he should be able to get a meal, and the like with relative ease. I hope this addresses all of your concerns and thank you for the comments.

[Sylvia Palinor]

First Approval!      

[Malexia Vendu]

I still believe you to be unbalanced. You are quite a formidable knight as well as a expert mounted rider. I don't think your weaknesses balance that out.

Your familiar should be included as a strength in addition to your riding skills.

[Kalína Dalá'isyrás]

I agree with Azhira. I would like to see a good additional solid weakness to help counter the strengths. Be creative

[Thaelel Swordmar]

Perhaps mild strangling disease or something of that kind?

[Calron Moonsilver]

Just bumping this up to make it easier to find. This CD should be finished soon once I add in the comments.

[Alexandre Scriabin]

PM me once you're finished. I'll go see about giving you a second approval, then.


Edit: Hmmmm... I'll have to leave that up to Kali and Malexia now, they're the ones who took issue with your S's and W's, so we're letting them decide upon titling you.

[Calron Moonsilver]

Alright peoples, I've finally added my fourth (and hopefully final) weakness in the hopes of creating a more balanced character. I look forward to hearing/reading any and all comments, questions, or concerns that you may or may not have. Thank you all once again for taking the time to actually read through this lengthy CD.

[Covette]

Hello Calron and welcome to Santharia! Your CD overall, was a wonderful read. The only point I noticed was this:

Stunning good looks, and noble blood...

The way you have this worded makes a great weakness, but 'stunning good looks' would be a strength also. I would think anyhow. That is definitely an aspect far beyond average and would grant him advantages in many circles.

Just my 2 Sans .... Hope the remainder of your writings are swift and your title comes with haste!

~Sincerely~ Covette

[Calron Moonsilver]

Thank you for that particular point of interest Covette. I've added that into the Strength section and hopefully my CD is more balanced than it was before. I certainly hope so, and with that said I am once again ready for further comments.

[Ridgen Sú'ufanán]

Two quick things I noticed about your CD, Calron:

 - I'm sorry, but I believe your strengths still outweigh your weaknesses by a little bit more than is acceptable, although that's only my opinion.

 - Right, to the more important bit. Most mods prefer that your Familiar section have a History sub-section. For the others, it's okay, but it does help quite a bit if you do have a history section for your familiar. This is only a suggestion though.

That's all I saw there. Oh, and I think you misspelled 'interests' in the first weakness.

[Sir Ruil Mallister]

The sword is made of a sturdy steel blade, made specifically to cut through plate armours.

I hope I'm not overly picky, but this line really caught my attention.  No sword, short of some sinister magic, can defeat plate armor.  Swords only "defeated" plate by going around or underneath it.  So I would reassess this sword of his.  Perhaps it would be easier to just give him a typical Centoraurian Shortsword.

[Calron Moonsilver]

Thank you for your comments gentleman, but I would like to address some of your concerns here. If I'm out of line here, correction and clarification would be very much appreciated.

First, Ridgen's comments. I am a poor judge as to whether or not my character here is balanced, but I would still like to see what the mods have to say about it's current appearance. As for my familiars history, I do believe that I made some mention of how Cloud came into Calron's possession. Thank you once again for your comments, they are very much appreciated .

Secondly, Sir Ruil Mallister's comments. I'm fairly certain that there did exist swords that could puncture through armor, or sheer away at plate mail. Plate armor usually has links of chain, or leather holding the plates together so cutting away at the joint like areas should make "cutting through plate armor" possible. I hope this clarifies things further.

[Mathis Mallister]

Secondly, Sir Ruil Mallister's comments. I'm fairly certain that there did exist swords that could puncture through armor, or sheer away at plate mail. Plate armor usually has links of chain, or leather holding the plates together so cutting away at the joint like areas should make "cutting through plate armor" possible. I hope this clarifies things further.

It's certainly possible to cut through a piece of leather. Chain mail, not so much. A cut is exactly what chain mail protects against best. Either way, by saying "cutting through plate armor" that's not what you're describing. If you're talking about *aiming* for a weak point of chain mail or leather and piercing at that weak point - then say that, and we'll go from there.

I think you should also clarify what exactly you mean by a "rectangular blade", because any image that description puts in my head looks more like a cleaver than a precision piercing weapon - which is fine and dandy if you're cutting through plate, but that's not not even remotely realistic for a weapon so small.

Edit: I just noticed your character has a longsword as well. That's the weapon he would want to use to strike out at an enemy in plate armor.

[Calron Moonsilver]

Alright gentlemen I think I have then addressed your comments and concerns. I certainly hope everything looks good now, and I eagerly await further comments from the people of the Board.

Advanced search

[Members]

Members Total Members: 2849 Latest: abigailjordan Stats Total Posts: 214569 Total Topics: 8052 Online Today: 27 Online Ever: 216 (November 30, 2006, 09:08:03 AM) Users Online Users: 0 Guests: 31 Total: 31

[Artimidor]

	Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2005, Simple Machines TinyPortal v0.9.8 © Bloc
Theme based on Cerberus with Risen adjustments by Bloc and Krelia Modified By Artimidor for The Santharian Dream