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- THE CD FORUM POSTICON SYSTEM -

Below is a summary on the posticons used for the character description approval process. The posticon of the first post should always be edited according to the current state of completion of the character description (either by the player, a Moderator or an Administrator).
1) PLAYER - CD is incomplete. Use this posticon if you have not finished your CD.  4) MODERATOR - CD has been approved by one moderator. A second mod's approval is needed.
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 3) MODERATOR - An expert's opinion is needed. The specific field in which the expert's help is needed should be added to the title.  6) ADMINISTRATOR - An administrator has titled the character, and the thread will soon be moved to the CD Archives.
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Author Topic: Roy Tmofl/ Centoraurian/ Ecuá mage/ Demon Hunter  (Read 44032 times)
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Leif Terskun
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« Reply #30 on: September 29, 2010, 02:20:02 AM »

Sorry, Vlaan, I was just trying to be helpful with regard to that clause. If Roy is to have amnesia, would the CD not need to be 3rd person?

It is generally easier to do 3rd omniscient than 1st omniscient - with exceptions, of course. That was not supposed to come out as an absolute, sorry. Just a suggestion.

Sorry if I confused you at all Roy.

Leif.
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Roy Tmofl
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« Reply #31 on: September 29, 2010, 07:11:12 AM »

Thank you there is no problem at all with what your are saying I am open to suggestions for I am very new at this game although I hope I do not sound to rude with this as well but  as for my magic section I have state that

All of my longer range spells are fire magic so I am forced to alot of times kill my more dangerouse enemies.

And the only time I do use my light magic for combat is to blind some one or some ones to avoid blood shed which is what I would greatly like to do most of the times.   

You are completly right though that a beam of light is not leathel wich is why all of my damaging and deadly spells are fire oriented.

As for my spelling mistakes yes i do see them and will try to fix them where I can.

And the language I do apologize       please parden me for it.

lastly i shall Try to finally get my magic section right this time.
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Deklitch Hardin
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« Reply #32 on: September 29, 2010, 08:20:32 AM »

Regarding the amnesia ... I refer your attention to the following on the Character Creation Page

Quote
Keep in mind that all relevant information, whether it is known to your character or not, should be included. Amnesia and the like is no excuse for leaving out any such information. Also, the older your character, the more information we will expect to see/read. A 300 year old elf, should have a good amount more than a 15 year old human.

What that means is that you'll need to explain to us about his birth as well.

Spelling mistakes ... have you tried using the spell check provided on site?

Deklitch

Edit:
Some comments on your strengths and weaknesses. I've made my comments in red.

Strengths:

Intelligence; I am good at outwitting my enemies, I am not easily fooled. it helps me to absorb knowledge of the arcane,

Ok ... so what about in your every day life? How does this help you when you are not in combat, when you are not trying to outwit enemies, when you are not absorbing knowledge of the arcane? In short ... try to think of your strengths and weaknesses outside of combat.


Natural ability: becoming a fire mage came very easy to me so it helped me on my way to becoming a great mage

What level are you? Please include the level in here as well as where you have earlier in your CD. Also, I'm not sure that this is exactly how magic work in Santharia ... as I've said to you previously, this is not D&D.l

Loyalty: I am extremely rebellious at first but if swayed to a cause I will become loyal to the bitter end

Once again, how does this help you in your everyday life?

Honesty: I am so honest that I would not tell I lie to save my life

This last one sounds like it is a bit of a weakness as well. Also, how does it help you in your every day life?

Nimbleness: Do to my inebility to take hits I have gotten quit nimble over the years of battle experiance. So that I may dodge and avoid things that could cause me physical harm

Inability rather than inebility ... Due rather than Do. experience rather than experiance

Weaknesses:

Weakness: Do to my condition I am below average strength,and thus catch sick very easily

Constitution: I due to my experience as a mercenary can take allot better beating than the average peasent but not nearly as much as I should be able to at my point in life.

We are comparing our characters to an average peasant. If you can take more damage than an average peasant, this then becomes a strength, not a weakness.

Rudeness: my social skills as you have guessed are horrible due to my great rudeness,although my friends love me for my loyalty and honesty.

Trust: Due to my loss of my friends and master I rarely let anyone become close to my heart unless I have an extremely long period of time to get to now them.

Anger: often times my anger has gotten me into tough situations with others whom think them selves right.

In short ... this is still really reading to me as a D&D character, made just for combat. Try to think of your character outside of combat ... think of how the different things help him in his every day life ... think of how much the affect him. Take a look at other approved cDs ... that may help you more.
« Last Edit: September 29, 2010, 08:33:21 AM by Deklitch Hardin » Logged

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Roy Tmofl
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« Reply #33 on: September 29, 2010, 08:24:28 AM »

 Sure this can absolutely be done and yes I did use the spell check once before but after I have added some things there has probably been more. But yes thank you for your time and patience.  Although I must ask you what do you think of my magic section is it to your approvel?.
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Ridgen Sú'ufanán
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« Reply #34 on: September 29, 2010, 09:04:30 AM »


Natural ability: becoming a fire mage came very easy to me so it helped me on my way to becoming a great mage

What level are you? Please include the level in here as well as where you have earlier in your CD. Also, I'm not sure that this is exactly how magic work in Santharia ... as I've said to you previously, this is not D&D.l


Actually... let me point out something here - this strength make you sound like one of the Gifted. The Gifted are a very small portion of people that can easily grasp the very concepts of magic and put it to work far more efficiently than others, thus leading to them being superior in magic compared to other magicians. As stated, the Gifted are only a small portion of people, and it is VERY discouraged to have your first character as one of them, as Gifted characters would have to have an extensive knowledge of the Santharian magic system. Unfortunately, the knowledge of our system shown in your magic section is mediocre... to an extent. I suggest a change for this strength, and a reconstruction of your magic section. That is all.
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Roy Tmofl
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« Reply #35 on: September 29, 2010, 09:40:16 AM »

Thank you Ridgen I have read up on the gifted and did not realize that I sounded like one ( which i now believe that I did) so have now changed it i hope it is fine
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Roy Tmofl
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« Reply #36 on: September 29, 2010, 09:52:31 AM »

Although as to mainly sounding like i am l about fighting i have tried to change that.
But the reason why i have many things that are describing my fighting abilities is because that i make my living as a fighter  I also used to be a Mercenary wich is why i have developed many fighting atributes in my life
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Roy Tmofl
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« Reply #37 on: September 29, 2010, 10:01:56 AM »

Although as to why my magic description and understanding of magic is so mediocre i thought that I have listed my spells and how I use them for more than just fighting and how I use ouni and carall well enough.
« Last Edit: September 29, 2010, 10:03:01 AM by Roy tmofl » Logged

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« Reply #38 on: September 29, 2010, 11:31:12 AM »

Ok. Let me clear this up once and for all (I hope)... When I said how you cast the spell, I meant something like:

what exactly do you do to the Fire Oun(ia) to actually achieve the effect that you want to achieve?

What do you do to make the light so bright it blinds?
What do you do to set something alight, magic-wise?
How would you extinguish a fire?
How would you calm a person down, or make them so angry they make a lot of mistakes?

How would you do all these things using magic? Simple - By alterring the properties of the Fire Ounia. But how do you do it?
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Roy Tmofl
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« Reply #39 on: September 29, 2010, 09:31:42 PM »

I do believe that I have listed those things you may not have seen them thouhg for they are newish to my CD


Magic(lvl 3) I am a master at the moving of ounia to car'all and manipulating, moving, shrinking and enlarging it. With the ouni i can cause it to suddenly burst in massive heat for an explosion of some small sorts or steady and cool it to quell a fire. cause it to heat up  materials so hot it will be set to fire. I may also extremely brighten the ouni so much on a persons eyes it would blind them. For creating fire out of the air i would heat it up so much that it is set to fire and then maintain it there with manipulation. for blinding more than one person I would cause the ouni in one area to charge up so much brightness that when I releas it it would explode with light so bright people are blinded for around 30 seconds enough time to slip away with out death. when i creat smoke there is actually an almost small imperseptable fire i have created from the heating of ouni that burns with tons of smoke And with it I move the ouni in the smoke or expand to where ever I wish it to go(this is a very hard thing to do for I have to create and maintain a small fire in the air or use someone elses that is already there then manipulae more of the smoke ounia at the same time). I can keep the ounia manipulating the carall for longer periods of time with minimal focus do to my mastery in the first sphere of fire magic.

Sorry if a am wrong once again i mean you no insult
« Last Edit: September 29, 2010, 09:32:52 PM by Roy tmofl » Logged

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« Reply #40 on: September 30, 2010, 03:24:21 AM »

I'm sorry, but that still doesn't explain much about what you do to the Fire Oun(ia) to create that effect. Why don't you take a look at the approved mage CDs to get an idea?

You have already explained why you used these particular spells. Now you have to explain, in detail, in the very same (sub-)sub-section that they appear in, how you cast the spell. Sphere I, as far as I remember, focuses on the increase and decrease of the dominance of heat and light (which are in fact the more common physical properties of fire) otherwise known as Pyrification. What you have to do is simple:

You stated, that during combat, you try to create blinding flashes of light to distract your enemy. Now what do you do to which physical property of fire in the Fire Ounia (unless you're talking about increasing the dominance of the Fire Ounia here, which can be done to achieve this effect  buck ) to make this happen?

Do you have an answer? Good. Put it in your combat segment of your magic section.

Now do the same to all your other spells.
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« Reply #41 on: September 30, 2010, 05:54:44 AM »

All right then Ridgen Thank you once again, I shall try to do what is required.
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« Reply #42 on: September 30, 2010, 03:27:05 PM »

Oh, and try not to make your magic section look as if it's been copied and pasted from the spell entries... (I made that mistake with my CD once and, as it is clear enough, it didn't get me any points with the mods)
« Last Edit: September 30, 2010, 03:27:50 PM by Ridgen Sú'ufanán » Logged

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« Reply #43 on: October 01, 2010, 05:48:28 AM »

Hahaha sure thing Ridgen I havent looked at any of them so far (Wich I probably should have) but yes thank you.
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Malexia Vendu
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« Reply #44 on: October 01, 2010, 05:55:20 AM »

Hi Roy! Welcome to Santharia. I am one of the CD Mods here, as well as one of the magic experts. I'd like to look over your CD. It seems to be coming along very nicely and you show a strong determination to master magic! I must say that is quite a feat for a first time CD. I would like to point out that our magic system is complex and not easily mastered. There are no firm rules and much of the system depends on point of view. The magic depends on what you want to do with the manipulation of aura. Anyway, off we go!

Name: Roy Tmofl

Race: Human

Tribe: Centoraurian

Tittle: Fire Mage

Age: 34 I look and feel much older than what I am

Occupation: Was a mercenary I am now an adventurer

Overview: I am very rude. I am also honest which would be part of my rudeness. my voice is low and slightly gravely. Most people tend to avoid me just by my appearance but if they ever see my eyes they don't look for to long before probably leaving the room.

My appearance is of average height very slight build my red robe normally has various items like components for spells dangling from it. My hood normally shrouds my face in Shadow but if you look past that you will see my pure white hair almost touch my shoulders. Eyebrows of also pure white hair and then for my eyes. My eyes look like bright golden sand timers turned side ways without any sand in them the middle would be my pupils. you will also see me almost always leaning on my staff.

Height: 1 Ped, 2 Fores, 4 nailsbredths

Weight 1 and a half pyge exactly

Hair: pure white

Eyes: bright golden

Physical Appearance: I am of slight build and weak looking. But have an air of mystery about me. I am of smaller height and weight my hair is pure white. My eyes are like Golden sand timers turned sideways without any sand. The middle white part would be my pupils. my feet are very large as are my fingers longer than normal. I stand slight curved as I lean on my staff which is almost always. My face is clean shaven and I never have a beard or mustache but will when i am of older age. My face is a pale white as is my skin. My face is almost always plain and emotionless. Or perhaps in a scowl. But when i do smile it is more of a mischievous one than anything. I do tend to be scary and evil looking as i might have described. But nothing is farther from the truth.

First, your description is not accurate. You sound like you are describing a certain other mage character from a certain other fantasy universe...you know who I mean. Please change your description because white hair and golden eyes are not normal in this universe. Please read the Centoraurian entry again for reference of how the tribe looks. Otherwise, the rest of your appearance looks good!

Clothing: I wear a slightly thick robe due to my travels in colder areas and slighter one in my back pack for warmer areas. They are identical. both have my components hanging of them. And both have hoods for me the shroud my face with shadows. i have some leather boots i wear and sandals for when i want comfort. and green leather gloves that have the fingers come off if i want nimble fingers at the time.

Ximaxian magic does not use spell components, unless you are in training. The component aspect of magic is not fully developed. You can perhaps carry healing herbs or other trinkets, but do not refer to them as magic components.

Personality: I am as I have stated very rude by saying things as they are and not sweetening them up at all. Also I am very honest which is part of my rudeness as i have said. I normally feel completely emotionless unless i were to lose my familiar or a friend of mine. I dislike the sun for it makes me fell even less emotionless and I thirst greatly during hot times but I can manage .I love the cold weather and like to feel the chilly breeze sweep across me and like it even more so when it rains for I feel alive and almost happy for a time. I am normally a rebel at first but if I feel swayed to a cause I will stick with it to the bitter end. I am true to my beliefs and will never betray them or my friends or familiar and to save them i would die for them no matter how horrible. i am always taking the extremest measures when I choose my friends. so i might test them for weeks, months, or even years. Once my trust is lost it is nigh impossible to gain again. One of the reasons my master had decided to train me in the arts of fire magic was because I am alot like the element myself. However normally I am very calm and mellow hard to anger. But if angered enogh I will blow my top. It is almost impossible to calm me then. I would probably have to leave the room for 5 minutes just to calm down. The things that make me mad are when people (idiots to be precise) think they are smart or right when they are clearly not. And will just not accept any thing else accept for what they think.

Actually, you personality is not like fire at all. The fire element is chaotic, raw, emotional and always moving. However, you don't always have to match your personality with your element. But your description says you are like your element, but to me, you sound more mellow and depressed!

Strengths:

Intelligence; I am good at outwitting my enemies, I am not easily fooled. it helps me to absorb knowledge of the arcane, It will also allow me to get out of stickey situations with words not violence. And most lickely not get into them in the first place.

You don't have to necessarily possess a high intelligence to wield magic. What you do require is high willpower and focus, not intelligence, unlike D&D. This doesn't mean you can't be of high intelligence, its just that you need to remove the connection between being smart and being a powerful mage.
 
Great want: When I became an apprentice to my master it was like a dream come true. i was so obsessed with becoming a great mage that I moved up extraordarnly fast in my training as a fire mage.(I am only currently at the lvl 3 of magic at the moment).

Something I will address below is that learning from a tutor and learning from the Ximaxian Academy will give you two different levels of education. Becoming a level 3 mage will take longer under a single tutor than it would if you went to the Academy. Think of the difference a Jedi would learn if he never went to the Jedi Temple.

Loyalty: I am extremely rebellious at first but if swayed to a cause I will become loyal to the bitter end. which has served me well for people admire that in a person and if I were to become a leader of a group they would most lickely not abandon me.

Honesty: I am so honest that I would not tell I lie to save my life and most people like that in a person so that in our agreements and daily exchanges I will always give them a fair deal wich will result in not getting into a fight in an area that is shadey of the law.


Nimbleness: Do to my inebility to take hits I have gotten quit nimble over the years of battle experiance. So that I may dodge and avoid things that could cause me physical harm or maybe even death.

Being nimble doesn't mean you can avoid being hit. You are dexterous, but you can't always avoid physical harm. You are not Superman.

If you are a mage, that counts as a Strength. Magic training of any kind is a strength that most common folk do not have.

Weaknesses:

Weakness: Do to my condition I am below average strength,and thus catch sick very easily

Not being physically strong has nothing to do with getting sick easily. You mean are weak in constitution?

Constitution: Being that I am a mercenary you would think that I can take a good beating wrong i do fight in melee but it is my weakest state only my skill in defending with my weapons has aloud me to survive to this point. I could take as much punishment as only the average soldier.

Again, you make connections that are not relevent. Being a mercenary has nothing to do with being able to fight. And, as a mage, you cannot be skilled in melee fighting (too powerful).

Rudeness: my social skills as you have guessed are horrible due to my great rudeness. which has gotten me into sitauations you dont want to be in.

Trust: Due to my loss of my friends and master I rarely let anyone become close to my heart unless I have an extremely long period of time to get to now them.

Anger: often times my anger has gotten me into tough situations with others whom think them selves right over myself when they are wrong. As an example I were to lose my cool to an important person and mouth off to him I might be thrown out of his house.(Though seeing as how I did blow up I would not have stayed for long anyway.

Magic(lvl 3) I am a master at the moving of ounia to car'all and manipulating, moving, shrinking and enlarging it.

Sphere I of magic deals with the manipulation of existing oun within a target's car'all. That means that you can alter an object's ounia only, but cannot add or take away ounia from an object's aura. Shrinking, enlarging and moving are incorrect terms. You can strengthen or weaken the fire ounia ONLY within a target's aura thus creating different effects.

When .With the ouni i can cause it to suddenly burst in massive heat for an explosion of some small sorts or steady and cool it to quell a fire. cause it to heat up  materials so hot it will be set to fire. I may also extremely brighten the ouni so much on a persons eyes it would blind them. For creating fire out of the air i would heat it up so much that it is set to fire and then maintain it there with manipulation. for blinding more than one person I would cause the ouni in one area to charge up so much light energy that when I releas it it would explode with light so bright people are blinded for around 30 seconds enough time to slip away with out death. when i creat smoke there is actually an almost small imperseptable fire i have created from the heating of ouni that burns with tons of smoke And with it I move the ouni in the smoke or expand to where ever I wish it to go this is he hardest to do for i must manipulate both the smoke and fire ounia at the same time). I can keep the ouni manipulating the carall for longer periods of time with minimal focus do to my mastery in the first sphere of fire magic.

I would remove the above section since you describe the same thing below.

Ounia & Carall: A more advanced description of my magic will be listed here.

Physical: When I cast my most common of spells wich is to create light I would cause the light characteristics of the ounia to increase greatly at one time in a small area (such as on a persons eyes). When I create a blinding flash of light to affect more people other than one I would cause the light characteristics in the ounia to increase extreamly high for around 7 seconds in one area. Thus having so much of that in one area when it is charged up enough it will burst with a blinding flash of light.

Flash of light is done by rapidly increasing the light property of fire within a target's aura. You can also do this in the air before a target, but may require a bit more focus since air has very little fire oun within it. The technical method is to focus upon the fire ounia in a specific area and instantly increase the light property thus creating an instant flash of light.

For when I am In ranged combat I will cause the properties of the heat in the ounia to heat up so much the fire is created in mid air then I will keep the properties of the fire ounia like that and getting even larger to shoot of my missle of fire. For entertainment I can do something very similiar to what I just listed except without the blasting off of a missle. In melee combat I would probably cause the heat properties of the ounia to increase majorly right in front of my enemy then send it off right to him so that it would burn a hole through him if the if the awfull need might arise. For when I am just going to light a simple fire I would do something very similiar to what I have just described I would cause the properties of the ounia to heat up so much it would set alight the materials I wish to start on fire.

Ok making flame is a bit more complicated. As a level 3 mage, you cannot create large fireballs. You can create perhaps one or two firebolts about the size of your fist. The control to maintain a larger sphere of flame is beyond your skill. You have the right idea though. By increasing the heat within a small area, you then have to activate the property of ignition to make a flame. At your skill level, you cannot hold the firebolt for long and must release it. Also, it would be difficult at level 3 to use firebolts in the chaos of combat. You would need time and space to focus, so making instant firebolts while you dodge attacks wouldn't work.

For quelling a flame i would couse the heat properties of the ounia to greatly lessen all at once to stunt the the fires growth and take it out almost instantly. For when I create my smoke in the air I would couse the ounia in the air to heat up very very fast and start a certain type of fire that has a ton of smoke like for example many bone dry leaves constantly burning.

You can only create fire, but not thick smoke. You can create smoke by burning certain objects only, but cannot create a flame with smokey properties alone.

 then I take and manipulate the heat  in the fire ounia which is in the in the smoke and expand and move it to my will.

Manipulating smoke is a skill for Wind magi, not fire, because it is made of the Wind element.

For my maybe most complicated spell (wich is to cause a wall of fire) I will cause the heat properties of the fire ounia to again increase in a wall formation all at one very fast like. This to create even a good sized wall would (a maybe 20 by 20 fords one) need to be relitivley close to a fire already lit. i would thus then take that fire and use it to enhance the heat properties of fire ounia and use it even more so to help expand my fire in an easier way.

You are correct in that you would need existing flame to create a wall of fire. Also, your control over a large area of flame would be lessened for a level 3 mage. You could create and control a wall of flame perhaps 6 to 10 feet long and maybe five feet high and no larger.

Spiritual: This is realy my only spells that can be classified as spritual (wich are emotional things mainly).Not yet done typing




Every day use: My fire magic is very advanced mastered in fact in the first sphere of fire (not that the first sphere is very advanced in itself for it is most certainly not).

Sphere I magic is quite powerful and potent. It depends on how you use it! I have a level 3 earth mage healer who can be considered quite powerful.

Ever since I had begun to train in Fire magic i have been absolutly enthralled in it. For example instead of easly starting a fire with a tinder box I would prefer to cast a fire spell to supplement for it. Or if I were to be reading and a candle is 1 ford away I would then use another spell to douse the flame. Hardly ever do I even bother to cook meat over a real fire I prefer the quicker and easier way of cooking it with a blast of my fire magic. And if I were to have no fire materials near me and it was cold, I would cause my fire magic to warm my body so that I do not catch sick as I so easly do.

You still need materials to create fire. You cannot create flame and hold it for long periods out of nothing. If you want to warm yourself, you simply increase the warmth property of the ounia within your own aura.

I can also take and manipulate fire very well. So as to make it bigger warmer colder and smaller,and some times even pull my own fire out of the air (which is the hardest to do and if I wish to keep it there for long periods of times it has to be reletively close to my body, but with shorter periods of time it will allow me to blast some thing like a fire ball almost instantaneous, a good deal from my body). I do so love see and watch fire as it is bent and shaped to my own will and creation. That is also why at many festivals I attend with my fire magic, i am a great hit (not that I attend to many festivals anymore).

Combat: during combat I most of times use my light magic over everything else. It is my main source of attack. In combat I prefer to take out or where down my enemies from a far distance, Because of my condition. But yet as emotinless as I seem I would prefer not to have to kill anyone. So thus I have taken to mastering light magic. as a result I can cast various forms of light spells, as an example I can blind people with my light magic that is my most common and effective result to conflict. I have also not taken to torches or lanters of any type because of my exellent light magic (which I probaly should knowing what kind of a jam I would be in if I have no light left in a dark cavern). But If I must kill I do have great fire magic within my powers as well to cause some good damage. All of my longer range spells are fire magic so I am forced to alot of times kill my more dangerouse enemies.
although my melee fire magic is what I am least skilled at but that is not to say that it Is not good for i am still quite skilled in that area. Some of the time though I will just instead use my weapons to fight in melee rather than to use magic. But I do still use my magic most of the time. But because of my condition I slightly tire faster when useing my weapons.

As a mage, you cannot wield weapons. Weapons and magic skills would make you too powerful.

Defense: Even though I may seem to have great powers in fighting I am normally on the defensive side. It is one of my greatest strengths. More specificaly I can create blinding flashes of light to blind larger crowds and slip away before death occurs. Or I can creat great clouds of hot irritating smoke as another distraction and if im strong enough it can even subdue my enemies so that they cant attack me at all.

Creating smoke is not possible for a fire mage unless you burn things that make smoke.

And if I realy must I can creat scorching hot sheets of flame to block enemies from comming at me. Most of the time if I want a decent or greater effect I would need a fire or light source already made to create my light or fire spells I have just listed. But I can cast minimal effects of those spells without the fire and lights. Though sometimes I can use my regents for my spells to have a better affect. But none the less real live fire and light works the best

How do you create sheets of flame? Do you mean fire wall?


Emotion: my emotion section is actually quit small but none the less it must be described.
The only other thing I can do with my light/fire magic is to manipulate feelings (this is one of my least skilled areas but none the less I can succesfully cast my listed spells. at some moments when the need arises I can inspire courage in an ally if they were maybe feeling weakend or deppresed or maybe completly hopless.(although in the last case there isnt a hole lot I can do but perhaps maybe make them feel nothing from there ordeals. i can also reverse that effect of magic and dicourage people (although not to many at a time about 1-7 at my current state of magic)or in a sense calm them to resolve conflict. for example I some drunk were to bump into me at a tavern and want to brawl me I would cast this spell to alter his mood to lesser of a violent one. but the most easiest of tasks is to couse someone to have exagerated feelings about what they are already feeling. As an example of another version of this spell say a group of 4 people were looking deeply into a fire in heavy thought I can charm them into complete distraction with the dancing flames.


Spiritual magic works on the same principles as physical magic. You are manipulating the spiritual aspects of the target aura. To be honest, it is far easier to describe physical magic then spiritual. The emotion section is not required if you wouldn't use it. My advise is to drop it since your focus is pyrification.


History: So you want to here about my history eh? Alright then I will start at the Beginning.     

                                                 The beginning
                                                           
I One day awoke with only knowing my age of 7 and name of Roy. So deciding randomly I went north and upon going north I met an old looking man. At the moment he was leaning on a 6 ford long staff that was black and bumpy with a brass end to it, it also had a smooth brass on the top of the staff with four different dragon claws sprouting around it to hold a peculiar looking stone . his name was xantherith. He had a long flowing beard and mustache of grey hair with blue eyes he is tall and of slight build he wears a thin red robe with various components dangling from it. His eyes were blue and full of concern when looking at me and for the first time I myself noticed my tattered cotton pants and shirt, worn belt with to my suprise a bloody dagger on it though it was my own blood because as soon as my head cleared I noticed a nasty stab wound to my left leg so when I tripped and cringed in pain I had actually passed out again.

                                  Waking in strange places

When I awoke Again I was in a but cozy looking cabin. It was 10 peds long and 15 wide there was a stove in the north west corner which was on at the moment cooking some sort of stew 3 ped down from the northeast corner was my bed. They chair the wizard was rocking in was normally half a ped from the southeast corner 3 fores away for away from the wall for ample rocking space and a comfy looking couch 6 fores long in the middle of the east wall that was all the furnishings in the cabin. with the old man man rocking in a chair next to the bed I was in my wounds were bandaged but sadly I had ruined this mans sheets pillow from a head wound and blanket with blood. I had been told allot bye the old man whom I now know as a great wizard. His name was Xantherith. He had said that hobgoblins had recently raided and killed what he thought to be every one in a village made 1 furlay 2 leagues 2 dashes 79 peds away from Xiamx but apparently I was the only one that had survived the attack. I believe my family and I were probably some sort of merchants and that is why I was away from my homeland. I was also very fortunate that only a bad scar was left on my leg and that the wizard had run out of fire and gone searching for some other wise I probably would have died.

Where did Xantherith come from? Is he a Ximaxian mage? Also, we have no hobgoblins in this world.
                                             
                                         My past

Although Roy still does not rember this he was indeed a very wealthy merchants son. he lived in a large mansion indeed with servents and horses great food and many forms of enertainment was available for them. his father was a fairly nice man donating much money to charity and such going on many buiseness trips to earn money for his family wich he did quit well. sadly Roy was alone most of the time for not to many boys were around his age that lived near him. His mother very awfull as it was died giving birth to him. The servents were his best friends. But yet they were very busy taking care of his fathers cooking cleaning paper work and handleing other trading merchants while he was away. When that tragic day came with the destruction of the vilage him his father 2 male servents 3 women and 5 armed gaurds came with them to that poor town they stayed 2 nights out of five that they were supposed to because of the attack. He was one night awoken by a man in glorious scale male armor and a beautifull long sword drawn saying ROY! wake now my son you must flee! for of course it was his father although It was quit wierd seeing as how his father was not a warrior. The screams of blades and battle rang all around outside. He then sliped him a glorious dagger matching the design on his own sword and and told him. "Escape now through the window and run to the forest that way he said pointing west" Young as he was he knew his father would die that night. So he did what he was told and ran looking back only once to see his fathers swod flash with blood on it in the torch light. But the stupid oaf that he was continued to run all the while when he had his head turned as it was he fell down A large dirt hill with many large rocks and bashed his head on one along with the dagger stabbing into his leg. That is when he awoke and was found and cared for by the wizard


Where was your village? What province? Who raided it? Remember, no hobgoblins! Or orcs either!

                                    Daily life at the cabin

My wounds eventually healed and as soon as I was at top health I ask to help maintain the cabin. The old wizard gladly obliged. As I was about to find out this little cabin needed a lot of maintenance. Such as fetching water from a river 50 peds away for such things as cooking, baths, (which I needed) cleaning, (for the sheets)  and storing in our well 2 peds away from the door. Dusting and sweeping were another of the endless tasks I had before me. Then after only two short years the old wizard had deemed me worthy of becoming his apprentice. So for three years I studied the ways of fire magic. Then when I was 12 he stated that I could attempt my first spell. So I choose to try an create light. Unexpectedly I was successfully. So then the old wizard had said to me well done my lad you have taken your first steps to becoming a great and powerfull mage. He then summoned an imp before my very eyes and said to me this here is durgoth he will take over your chores from now on so that you may be able to focus on your magic.

Summoning an imp is not easily done, nor is it done so casually. There are very few imps in the world and even fewer can be summoned. Also, what happened to your family and village? Wouldn't Roy want to know?

                                                The price of power

with that we lived their for 6 years more, always increasing in my power. But that had a cost. so that after 3 years of extreme over practice i had gained incredible power compared to what I should have. But it had cost me my physical body health and strength that is were my coughing, hair and my unforgettable eyes come from.

Learning magic does not affect your health or appearance. Remember, this is not that other another fantasy universe! And 3 years under a tutor would not give you the skills of a level 3 mage. You would need at least 6 to 10 years if you don't go to the Academy.

                                           The unforgivable night

Then after that other 3 year period we heard the stomping of footsteps outside our door at the our of darkness midnight. As it were my master had known of this for some days now so he told me take this bundle of cloth (which contained various items) and run for the city of Xiamax with those words in my head I took them and ran thinking my master would follow. But I was wrong he stood his ground to the last. Even one league away brilliant flashes could be seen and the screams of hobgoblins could be heard and the pain of the inevitable could be felt in my heart. For I knew there was to many of them and after an hour or so the battle had stopped. So unwittingly I had come back to the shack which as expected was nothing more than ash  and dead hobgoblin which litered the floor. As i looked for my masters body I caught site of the dead imp and shed a few tears over his cut up body but not for long as I saw my former master lying dead in the middle of were the shack used to be. His body was soaked in blood but yet I saw no Sign of a living hobgoblin. That dreadfull night I had wept for my master for hours.

There are no such things as hobgoblins in Santharia.

                                                   The unforgettable morning

I had buried them both and set out for Xiamax only 3 leageus away . when I was 20 peds away from the town since by now it was morning I opened the the large sack (with my old and masterfully crafted dagger) . Which was Little heavy at the moment and found the following. A note from my master, the staff he had carried, a smaller sack with 300 sans in it a glowing rock that looks as if some one had frozen a ball of ice and mixed in a milky white substance. I could just rap my fingers around it. Plus a beautifully made scabberd for my dagger. so when I had read the note It said my dear dear apprentice I leave you with these items. when you attach the stone to the staff it will join with it and with it and with that I had bought a room in the local tavern and hooked up with a band of mercenaries.

Inheriting powerful magic items is not possible. Your staff would be nothing more than a simple stick of wood with a stone atop it. Possessing enchanted items is not typical and only done with Admin permission.

                                                Meeting the gang.

 There was lefty Longfoot the clever little hafling thief. Aramads the human warrior. Shera the elven cleric and Gorin the stubborn dwarf fighter and two twins Gile and Arthes both half elven rangers and with that we set of on many long adventures for years to come. During of which one I had met a little companion. A crow I call crow I saved him from a goblins arrow wound we have been Friends for life ever since.

Having a crow familiar is fine, but crows are wild animals and it wouldn't join you just because you save it from an arrow. You would have to have some skill with animals (such as an Eyelian) or raise it from a baby.

                                                  The tragic night

On one awful night a tragedy struck  us one night during a suprise attack of two hill giants Arthes was killed defending us in the middle of the night being on watch as he was. But did majorly wound one of the hill giants. By the time we got there he had already. passed but my fire magic took care of one of 2 hill giants. when all that  was left was the fresh one he was hit by Giles arrows, Gorins throwing axe and Sheras mace but it was aramads who took him down. Just then we noticed lefty wasn't there. With a few tears from us all especially  Gile.

Santharia has no hill giants. Or any kind of giant except those of the North.

                                              A bloody battle

So Shera then took the body and started to say a pray 3 peds closer two our camp. I and Gorin went to search for lefty, Aramds guarded our campsite and we let Gile say his peace with his twin. After a short search lefty came running back at the two of us screaming blimey theres at least 9 more ove em out there ridin me tail. Gorin said what are blathering now Lefty. ORCS! tough uns to. with closer examination lefty was wounded to his left side he had also apparently used up his sling bullets and lost his short sword as he was now brandishing a long knife i killed two but 5 stayed to guard and 9 came after me. Go warn the others I said we will hold them. So he raced of to warn them. As he did that we took our positions I lighted my staff and also lighted Gorins morning star with my staffs power. Just then One of the orcs dove for gorin and he wailed him on the head it was a killing blow. Then as I had just cast some more of my fire magic taking out two of the oncoming orcs that had entered my line. of site Gorin charged after the heard of 6. I held steady as 2 more came for me and the rest went for gorin. I now had drawn my dagger throwing it at the closest one 3 peds away then casting a simple fire ball spell took out the one with the dagger wound. He seemed already stabbed by lefty though. But sadly the other one was not wounded at all by anything in fact he looked up to the task of killing me. we had a pitched battle to wear I head landed after several bludgeoning to him a death blow to the head and he went down.

No orcs in Santharia, except for the Volkek-Oshra tribe, and they live in Ximax. They are not barbarian bandits like in D&D.

                                              The price of victory                 
                   
But as I began to feel slightly happy I saw gorin finish of the second last orc quite wounded himself just as I was. But this last orc was not normal he fought with great strength and speed.  I retrieved my dagger and raced after him but the orc was to powerfull with a final stab straight through Gorins chest he fell dead at his feet. As screamed with rage I summoned the last of my fire magic to blow this orc to Hell. My gaze was long straight and impenetrable, my face masked by an emotionless nothing my shoulders broad and proud. I brought up my hand for what seemed like an eternity and then. When I had cast my spell I was sadly exhausted do to may condition and did only moderate damedge to him. He then tried to limp at me as fast as he could (Gorin never went down without a fight) So I threw my trusted dagger at him and it sunk in deep.

                                 The hit of a lifetime                 

He did then reach me and when he struck me he hit hard. I lost my staff by dropping it feeling nothing in my hand and shoulder I knew It was bad. After that I fell to my knees gasping for breath. As he was about to finish me with a final crushing blow. Two arrows flew and hit both his shoulders so he dropped his huge broad sword next to my staff. As I felt the warming presence of sheras hand on my shoulder and felt it reconnecting it with my body. At the same time I saw a knife poke through the orcs left leg. Followed by a bloodied Aramads who destroyed the hobgoblins head with his mighty two handed sword. When he fell he fell hard and solid. It was then that I had lost almost all of my emotion.

                                             Proper good byes

 I said thank you but sadly I couldn't save Gorin. Aramads face was stilll.l Lefty had a scowl filled with a new hatred for orcs. Gile had his face masked in his the hood of his camouflage but two or 3 tears fell from his face. Shera cried openly at the loss of our long time friend I had only lowered my head in shame. but aramads said Roy do not punish yourself for what had happend if not for you gorin would have had an inglorious death at the hand of some regular orc. I felt better but not by much then gile stepped in bloody as well and helped me to my feet. He then stated well I believe we should get the body and have two funeral pyres. We all agreed on this sound justice for the fallen.

                                         Sudden explanations

But tell me I said what happened to you 4. Lefty responded well those 5 that didn't follow me actually I believe snuck around the forest to ambush me. But as I got to camp I saw me mistake there were another 9 orcs attacking our camp not just five. By the time I got there though they were all almost killed, so when I joined the fray of now 4 against 3 it was over quickly. When we arrived at our camp Gile began to fletch more arrows after Shera slightly healed us all. Then Aramads went to collect wood for the pyre I retrieved the necessary supplies for creating a fire of such largish size. Shera said prayers for the fallen heroes. When they and I had finished every thing we lit the pyre. Shera prayed this prayer at that moment, May those souls whom are faithfully departed through the mercy of the goddess be take to eternal paradise for now and always. I was at that point only 23. In the morning Shera used all of her magic to heal us to full health. We then ate rations and drank water. After that we continued our travels to the next town looking for our next job. At this moment I had an absolute hatred for hill giants orcs and hobgoblins.
 
                                    Catching up
                           
Another 13 years has past eventually Aramads and Gile open up a school of fighting that specializes in sword and bow combat. Shera Created a temple in honor of the goddess. All of which was in Xiamax. Then that leaves I not done with the life of adventure yet  as it were I have become an adventurer.

What goddess did Shera worship? The god of healing is Nehtor, or was she a Mindsmoother?

Weapons: My staff of light, my dagger, and my spells

Possesions: My red robes one for warm weather one for cold, back pack, belt, sack, belt pouch 3 flasks of oil flint and steel with a tinder box 20 foot rope 5 days rations two water skins  my savings of 300 sans 3 iron spikes,  1 whetstone a bedroll and two man tent,some of my more spell related items are a book with 15 pages of blank parchment, 5 quills, 3 vials of ink,6 burning stones,3 volcanic stones,2 small sacks of ashes, 5 small sacks of sulpher,1 good sized sack of sulpher,and 4 ether flakes, most of these item are either in my pouch, back pack, sack, or attached to my belt, as for magic that is as stated before along various puches and sacks and pockets.I have obtained most of these through buying with my mercenary earnings.

Familiars: My trust worthy crow is always faithfull and seemingly understands me. He is 10 months old and perfectly healthy. he will often times nag me and peck my cheek consistantly if I forget to feed him. (Wich is enough times to be annoying
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