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Author Topic: Zarkin Talker/Centoraurian/Trainer  (Read 10320 times)
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Zarkin Talker
Horse Trainer
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Gender: Male
Posts: 168


Human, Centoraurian


« on: October 28, 2010, 10:47:01 AM »

Name: Zarkin Talker

Gender: Male

Race: Human

Age: 29

Tribe: Centoraurian

Occupation: Trainer

Title: Horse Trainer

Appearance:

Height: 1 ped, 2 Fores, 2 palmspans, 8 nailsbreadths.

Weight: 1 pygge, 1 heb, 1 hafeb

Hair colour: Eophran Brown

Eye Colour: Baveras' Eye

Physical Appearance:    

Zarkin Talker's beautiful face lies hidden from the world by his hood. His two devious eyes happen when he smirks at his friends funny remarks. His medium sized nose just slightly pokes out of the hood as you see him strolling by on Blazer heading out to the market. His jaw bone is kind of rounded as though he has a "stone" jaw, and his chin rounded to finish of the outer layer of fascination. Although his smile isn't very inviting it has its touches of a twinkle. As you stare into his eyes, you see a twinkle when he smiles, which tells you that he may like you. But as you take a gander at his upper lip on the right side, you'll see a small scar from when his father accidentally hit him with wood.

His body is the best part about him that gets the women wondering why he doesn't have a wife. His body is built like a dwarf warrior and has its curves of perfection. He has the body like he has been working out for about four hours of non stopped working out. His legs are as tones and curved around the muscle as well as his mighty body. His legs are long and perfectly add up to his torso area, when he stands his feet are always planted about shoulder length every time he stops to admire something. His feet are medium sized as well, his long toes give him the mobility speed that he needs for running.

His head is covered by a clump of brown hair that is usually straightend, the bangs of his hair pushed off to the right side of his face and the back of about shoulder length. It is his usual style for him, but he doesn't have a hard time getting it perfectly the way it is when you see him. He has a pretty fast time of getting his hair the way he wants it, he is very good at keeping his hair naturally clean and neat before he goes to sleep every night. Zarkin's eyes are always distinctive, his eyes are mostly changing from blue to green colours depending on the light. His eyes are the most beautiful thing about his face, once you stare into them its like he just put you in a trance you can't get out of.

Clothing:

Zarkin wears a sleeveless shirt with a brown hood sewn onto it. He has brown gauntlets, and brown boots. His pants are also brown but reach his heels. His hood hides his face most of the time when he's walking around but not all the time, it's like the hood has a mind of its own.

This is Zarkin's usual style of clothing, he has always worn clothes like this since he was atleast twelve. His grandmother bought him his first outfit that actually fit him when he was eleven. And ever since then he has wore the same outfit for a long time. Zarkin only wears his sleeveless shirt and some shorts while he goes on his morning run, other than that he is always in the same clothes.

His shirt is made from a fine leather that isn't used very much by him, it tends to make him feel like a freak but it really makes him look good. His running shirt is made from wool, his grandmother made it for him before she passed away. His gauntlets he made himself, the top pieces that make up a pattern of criss crossing arrows and hearts are made from matel scraps he found laying around. The heart pattern is to represent his mother and grandmother.

His boots are made from leather as well as his normal shirt, but the soles of the boot have a rubber texture to them. But then there is his brown linen pants, spun from wool. This might seem like an odd type of clothing mixtures placed on his body, but it is really the only thing he likes, his pants almost touch the ground so they are just at the edge of his heels, but they are very cozy and warm. Then the las bit, but not forgotten  piece is his hood. His hood is also spun from wool and tends to flutter carelessly in the breeze but not all the time. His hood hides his face from the large crowd of people in the market, he doesn't like to be noticed as himself but as another regular villager. The reason for that is because he is tired of being noiced and yelled at by all the villagers his bumps into on accident, and the villagers only yell at him because they all don't like him for no reason.  

Personality:

He is usually joyful and calm when practicing with his bow and arrow, but when he is not he is left drunk on the side of the road faster than you can say "Bob's my uncle!"
  
 But he isn't drunk all the time, although he lives in Ximax he spends most of the time at home writing to his parents in Caltharian. But when socializing with others he is always shy around new people and hardly ever makes friends right off the bat, instead he babbles like an idiot for the first couple of minutes until he can finally say a single sentence without pausing to remember what to say.
  
 He is a very curious person, and when he get too curious he gets a visit from the law! He always talks himself out of going to prison but sometimes he gets too close to going. His curiosity almost got himself killed about six times (all involving a jump across a river, a house, a tree, a creek, a bridge, and some gates!).
  
 His love life on the other side is in jeopardy, his last girlfriend left him when he was almost killed by curiosity again, he tried to prove his love by trying to jump over a nearby river and nearly drowned making his girlfriend the hero! But he is a very loving person, but never let him try to prove his love to you if you know what i mean!

He views the world as if it is a gift that has been brought to earth by god, the gift is the life of Zarkin Talker, the horse trainer in Centoraurian. He has always viewed himself as joyful and playful with Blazer at times. But he has never viewed the world should end at the very moment he was sad or distressed with something.

Strength's:  

Fighting- Practiced more than anything in his daily routine, he trains with bows and arrows more than swords and shields. Although his love for horse training is strong, his love for archery is very well practiced up to four hours in a single day.
  
Running- Running for him is a big advantage for Zarkin because he can run faster than most peasants and regular people. He can run the fastest out of his tribe because he is always finding time to train for upcoming races. The races are almost always about four or about five miles. And the reason it is easy for him to be the fastest is because every morning he runs seven miles. So there he has a big advantage at speed, also his long legs and toes help him with speed.  
 
Horse training- His horse training job is what pays off all that time to kill, one of the many things he loves to do during his day. He get breaks every two hours (two brakes per day). The only reason he loves horse training is because that is what he was taught to do in otherwords it was the only job his parents would let him apply for. His love for horses is amazing, you would never believe a guy like this would love horses more than anything in the world.
  
Blazer- Blazer is a big strength to Zarkin, not all has Zarkin been training Blazer for just riding but for combat as well. Blazer has the skill and speed (as well as Zarkin does) but more than an average horse may have. Blazer is very fast and can also do a few moves as well. Although Blazer may seem like an average horse you may not want to get on his bad side, in other words you make Blazer mad you'll probably die. Zarkin's combat skills have very much improved ever since Blazer has stepped into his life.

.[Weaknesses:  

   Addiction to Ale- He was first introduced to ale around the early age of nine- teen, and ever since then he has drunk nothing than fresh spring water and Ale (not mixed!). And whenever he sometimes has free time he'll go to the bar and have about four drinks then leave to go back home.
    
Being a perfectionist- Zarkin tends to act like he is the best person at everything he does. Although he isnt like this all the time he still tends to act as though everyone should bow down to him for being so perfect. He isn't much of a nice person all the time like everyone else, but his tends of being a perfectionist are sometimes way off the chart. You should really see how he is when he is acting like a perfect gift from god.

Lack of self-confidence- Zarkin has always had a lack of self-confidnce ever since he was around nine years old, being teased about everything he did was wrong and that he never did anything right was the worst thing to be teased about when he was young. There is never a time where he is wondering if what he is doing is good enough, he has trouble with confidence before as a kid but never like being teased that bad before.

Fear of the dark- Fearing the dark has been the most troublesome thing that has ever occurred in Zarkin's life. He has never been alone by himslef in the dark, and once he sees a shadow that looks like a demon or something, you'll see him tear of full sprint for a safe place to hide. Once an old man was walking by a light in the night and Zarkin just happened to be there. Zarkin saw his shadow and ran full sprint in the other direction. Again this is a simple fear Zarkin has been mocked about as a young man. Zarkin was a miserable kid growing up, and now the people that mocked him feel horrible about it.

Clumsiness- Zarkin has always been clumsy ever since he started doing things to prove that he likes a girl a lot. His attempts at  being clumsy, always turn out being clumsy and lately he just can't figure out why. This is one of his many suspicions to figure out what is wrong with "him", he never has the time to wonder about that as so he says, but he could have all the time to figure out what the problem is, but his mind is focused on traveling to different places instead of wondering about his problems.

Short term memory loss- Most of the time when Zarkin has spaced out and just starts to stare at nothing he tends to forget what has just happened a few seconds ago. He trys to avoid this but he just can't seem to get over the fact that this is a big weakness for him. If he cant remember what has just happened, he is lost in life. He will get "deja vu" moments where he thinks he has just done something over again.

History:

His records of being born were lost in the fire that occurred in the hospital about five days when he was taken home by the parents. He claims he was born on the 19Th, but recalls not remembering what month or what year. He was taken to an orphanage around the age of four and had no idea why he was taken there, nobody even like him anyway so, on the day all the others were adopted, Zarkin escaped that night never to return. And as soon as he left he some hoe managed to find his way back to his home town. But when he got there the place was in ashed. He found his mother sprawled out on the ground dead, so he cried.
  
 Over the past few years he got up the courage to get people to help him rebuild the whole village. It may have taken them two years till it was fully finished but it was worth having a place to live and call home again.
    
 Although his life hasn't gone the way he expected it so far, he is now living a very successful and lucky life, but now he is finding himself face more troubles, but is always getting himself out of the trouble he is facing.
  
He is always finding ways to help passing travelers by buying their goods, Zarkin is a very generous man, he has helped the poor many times. Helping people is a number one thing for Zarkin, Help is the best way of life, help is something you can never get enough of. Helping would be the best thing to do for Zarkin, his motto is "If you are in distress, never fear to ask for help once in a while!"  
 
Training Blazer is a very good thing to Zarkin, not the average training the combat training. Zarkin hasn't had the time to train for combat himself because he needs to train with Blazer before he can train himself. Blazer can only do about three things in order to kill someone, bite their limbs off, trample them, or ram right into them head first. These may not be appropriate for a horse with good manners but to Blazer it is a way to survive.
  
Zarkin tends to spend more time with Blazer than anyone else, only because Blazer is pretty much the only friend for Zarkin to be with. No parents, no grandparents, nobody. If you asked Zarkin about his parents or any relatives, he would get a sad expression on his face and tell you the most depressing stories he could remember about his parents, and or any relatives. Blazer's story would be the only happy story he would tell you, whoever killed his parents, he has been seeking revenge for over twelve years.
  
Zarkin has always been joyful and playful at times, except for one day when his horse got a visit from an old friend. That friend was the farmer that Blazer had escaped from back about a few years ago and sense then Blazer has forgotten about that till that one day.

Zarkin had never seen anyone so mad before in his life!
 
 "Mr.Talker! I believe you have that there horse of mine!"
 
 "Uh, sir i have no idea who you are or why you are even here?" replied Zarkin.

 "I be Gherkin, Gherkin marsh. And that horse you have of mine escaped about four years ago, and ever since then i have been looking for him. And i want him back NOW!!!" shouted Gherkin.
 
 "Well then Gherkin I'm afraid that i have all the paperwork filled out to claim this horse, plus when he ran at me four years ago he was weak as ever and now look at him" Zarkin pointed at Blazer with a weird expression.

 "Now you listen here Mr.Talker! I have kept that horse fed and cleaned ever since i had him as a boy and now your telling me he was horrible when you found him! Why I ought to just kill you right here, right now!!" screamed Gherkin.
  
 Luckily a passing guard over heard Gherkin's reply and took him to the nearest jail. And now Zarkin swears to this day that if you visit the jail you'd see Gherkin in one of the many, many cells. And Zarkin said that once that man walked up to him he smelled of terrible garbage that has been sitting around for twelve years!

When Zarkin is on his way to archery practice on foot, he will usually stop by an old Lady's house and see if there is anything he can do to help. But since her husband died he has spent a lot of the time over at her house, but he always comes in with a heart warming smile and a positive attitude, ready to do anything she wants him to get done. She tries to offer him money but he always denies the money telling her that she'll need it more than him.

Now I know its a little crazy turning down money from an old lady that you stay at her house for about a couple hours a day working, but as is said in the CD he is a generous man, willing to do anything for free. Zarkin could use the money for food and nicer clothes, but everything he has is always enough for him. Everything he has may not be good to what everybody else thinks or has, but at least he has something.

"Zarkin i need you help and fast!" came a scream from a place in the dark.

"Who.... who are you!" screamed Zarkin. "Where are you i can't see a thing!" A bag came off of Zarkin's head and a red light in the distance was shining. What could be happening? It's way to early for a parade!

Zarkin had no idea what was happening until he realized that something was burning! That's when Zarkin looked up and saw a battle ax coming straight for his neck!

Zarkin awoke with a jump and saw that he had forgotten to blow out the lamp in the bedroom. Could it be possible that the guards would let bandits burn down the neighborhood again? I doubt it thought Zarkin. It was only a dream, nothing to worry about. Go back to sleep Zarkin Everything is fine.

Zarkin is always traveling around Caelereth, even though he lives in Ximax, he'll be in a different place in Caelereth for about a year, then when he comes back to Ximax he'll be there for two years. But before Zarkin is ready to go somewhere else he'll be planning where to go before the final cut. Zarkin appears to be traveling quite quickly every time he leaves Ximax.

I guess you can say Zarkin is always busy with planning where to go, but he has a ton of time to waste in a single day. He usually isn't always busy, but it just depends on what is going on that day. Zarkin's father traveled a lot during the time he was alive, so Zarkin decided he would do the same, then have his eldest son do the same and keep that tradition going. As you can tell Zarkin doesn't have any children, but when he does have the children he'll make them promise to do the same as him.

Zarkin is planning to travel around the world to see what all the other places are like compared to his life at Ximax. He has a love to do what his heart tells him to do, if his heart told him to travel the whole world he would do it. And that is mostly what his heart is set on doing. Now Zarkin never leaves Blazer behind on any single trip that he makes, he would never make Blazer suffer for a year while he tries to have the time of his life.

Weapons:

Broad bow with about 20 arrows a day for training, and a small dagger strapped onto his thigh.

Familiars:

He found a wild black and white spotted horse that he broke in his neighbors corral. It went perfect, he broke that stallion so fast he friend was so amazed. Now his friend has broke horses before but not as fast as six minutes and thirty- nine seconds, it is now a personal record for Zarkin, and intends to beet that record another day! His stallion is now named, Blazer for the battle it had with Zarkin when he broke that horse.
  
 Blazer's personality:

He tends to get lonesome sometimes and will somehow get out of his stall. once he has accomplished that he will usually walk around town for about twenty minutes until he is brought back to Zarkin by a patrol officer.
 
 The horse has an uppermost attitude and is always going crazy for a stroll through town, even though he always wonders off to the bakery rather than where Zarkin wants him to go. But when he does Zarkin will go buy the horse some bread and they'll be on their way back home.
  
 The only time the horse really starts to go insane is during thunderstorms (i mean almost every horse does!). Zarkin has had to bring Blazer into the house countless times because he cant stand to watch that horse be terrified out in the storms.
  
 Blazer's appearance:

He has a black and white spotted body that gives him some distinguishing features. His mane is all white and flows in the wind like a careless piece of clutter from some careless person.
  
 His leg's are very strong and give him his ability to jump fairly high over fences, but Zarkin is always aware of that horse getting out and running to town with triumph. His body and backbone are very sturdy, when he was found about three years ago he was in terrible condition, Zarkin later found out that Blazer had escaped from a slaughter house back on a farm.
  
  His eyes are a majestic blue, that is his most beautiful feature. His eyes are as though you are staring into the worlds smallest ocean of amazing blue waters. His eyes are the most convincing part of getting him out of trouble, you just can't stand looking into those eyes and keep him in trouble.

Blazer's History:
  
Blazer was kept as a worker horse on a farm for altest three years, he was fed poorly on a daily basis and was tormented by kids that also worked on the farm, they threw stones at this horse almost every day. But Blazer knew never to charge at the kids or he'd be killed then sold for money.

 Blazer lived a terribly painful life and could never forgive the farmer for everything, until one day when Blazer charged the kids and was taken into the barn. Blazer knew what was coming so right as the farmer turned around to get the gun blazer tore off and was gone, he never turned his head to look back he just kept going, not knowing where he was going.
  
 He ran into a man with incredible speed that he about killed the man, so the man forgave him and took him into his home. And that man was Zarkin Talker. He cared for that horse more than his bow and arrow. He fed and groomed the horse everyday.
  
 Blazer could never had thought his life would be this good. So he stayed with Zarkin and that is where he lives now. He lives with the most caring person that horse has ever met. Blazer's body is in now perfect condition, and he vows to his horse life that he will never be treated poorly again, as long as he's with Zarkin.

Blazer was not in the slaughterhouse for his meat although, he was in there for the work he did. He was abused countless times in a day, his meat wasn't the type of meat that is edible, it may seem as though that if your in a slaughterhouse your there for your meat, but they just couldn't kill a horse so good at work. So the kept him, and as they saw him progress they liked that.

 But as he progressed the children became more aggressive with Blazer, they didn't want him there, but the farmer did, but when Blazer did wrong the farmer wanted him gone as well but remembered how good he worked, so he kept him. That was until Blazer charged at his children and took Blazer into the barn, when the farmer turned for the sword, that was when Blazer left, he hated that place anyway so why not run away? Blazer was gone, and the farmer was mad. 
« Last Edit: November 17, 2010, 11:17:14 AM by Kalína Mërénwèn » Logged

A true warrior lies within the heart, not the blade!
- Zarkin Talker
Ridgen Sú'ufanán
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« Reply #1 on: October 28, 2010, 04:41:27 PM »

Hello Zarkin, and welcome to Aus- I mean, Santharia! grin

There are two little things I've noticed when looking through your CD. The first being:

 - Your Familiars section has to be like a mini-CD within a CD. It needs:

    - An Appearance section
    - A History section
    - A Personality/Temperament section

All are vital for the development of Blazer ^^ Don't worry though, I think you'd be able to finish those in no time! grin

The second thing...

 - is that your CD seems to have a number of 'bricks' of text. I suggest you break these up into tinier paragraphs.

Rid(gen)
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« Reply #2 on: October 28, 2010, 10:30:06 PM »

everything has been completed and is ready for new comments grin
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A true warrior lies within the heart, not the blade!
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Leif Terskun
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« Reply #3 on: October 29, 2010, 05:46:20 AM »

There are a lot of misspellings etc. in your CD which you'll need to clean up before an approval. I may give it a check, but big things like that are your responsibility - mods, mini-mods, commenters and anyone who gives you comments for any reason will not check that. Likewise the whole thing needs to be easier to read. More paragraphing - a blank line is mandatory, as near as dammit.

Just some friendly advice - if I can read it easily, I can pick out problems easily, and if I can do that you can address them and get that approval which we all want!
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« Reply #4 on: October 30, 2010, 02:31:43 AM »

i have fixed my grammer errors, And I am ready for new comments! grin
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« Reply #5 on: October 30, 2010, 05:54:09 AM »

Welcome to the Dream, Zarkin.

I would like for you to properly format your CD. This may seem nitpicky but it seriously helps others, especially us would-be commentors, to easily read and understand your CD.
This is how I suggest it be formatted:

Quote
Name: Zarkin Talker
[space]
Gender: Male
[space]
Race: Human
[space]
Age: 29
[...etc.]

Either bold, underline, italicize or colour section titles to make them stand out from the rest of the text and maybe add a blank space between them and the following paragraphs. It really helps us locate these sections quickly. Also put a blank space between paragraphs to avoid blocks of text. An example of how you could do this:

Quote
Physical Appearance: <-- Bolded
[space]
The world to Zarkin in a gift that has been opened many times, but from all the bad things that has happened in his life has made it seem as though nothing could ever change, but whatever he prayed for surely changed it alright.
[space]
 The world just listens to him like a forgotten parent that never listened to his problems, or helped him, or even fed him but just tossed him on the side of the cobblestoned road and let some one who went by just take him. He views the world now as though that present sent from god had been closed and night had been left forever, no light would return, until some one opened that present and changed his views of life after all!

All of your CD should follow this or a similar formatting - anything that helps us read it easier. Please take a look through recent Approved Characters to see how other CDs look. Here are some good examples: KaskaChee, Gnogi Farguk, and Mila Metariel.

~Faio~
« Last Edit: October 30, 2010, 06:02:13 AM by Fáiorríl » Logged

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« Reply #6 on: October 30, 2010, 07:58:56 AM »

Hi Zarkin,

Fáio makes really good points. Please make sure you colour any major changes to your CD, minor spelling and grammar corrections do not need to be coloured, but most changes need to be coloured.

I've changed your icon to the pencil to let people know you are working on it. When you've finished modifying your CD, please change the icon back to the ! and make a brief note in here that its ready for more comments.

I'll see if I can be back then to provide some more advice.

Dek
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« Reply #7 on: October 30, 2010, 09:05:50 PM »

My corrections have been made!  grin
 


Comments Welcomed!!!!!!! grin grin grin
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« Reply #8 on: October 30, 2010, 10:58:40 PM »

Hi Zarkin,

Thank you for attending to Fáio's comments and for the time taken in colouring changes.

If any of this comes across as rather harsh, I apologise. I've received distressing news tonight, which is making it difficult for me to distinguish between civil and uncivil.

However, I can still see relatively straight forward spelling mistakes in your CD. These have previously been mentioned out Leif. Please attend to them. One I will share with you is that the brake/brakes should be break/breaks in your cd.

Lack of ability with a sword IS NOT a weakness. We are comparing our characters to a peasant who is unable to use a sword. His strategy one is not a weakness either.

Blazer needs to be included as a strength, as he can help you in combat etc.

As a result of the above, your character is rather unbalanced, and you'll need some more weaknesses.

Your history section is rather short, and I'd like you to expand on it. The only orcs in Southern Sarvonia are the Volkek Oshra and they live in Ximax. They are the magic orcs and are peaceful ... for orcs, anyway. As a result, the incident with the orc is extremely unlikely to have occurred.

I am going to change this back tot he pencil for you, though others may wish to add in comments.

Dek

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« Reply #9 on: October 30, 2010, 11:33:41 PM »

Zarkin, I'd still like for you to separate all your paragraphs by a blank space.

~Faio~
« Last Edit: October 30, 2010, 11:33:55 PM by Fáiorríl » Logged

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« Reply #10 on: October 31, 2010, 12:01:34 AM »

Dek, i need you to look over my CD just to be sure that you like what i have so far before i continue, and Faio im getting there i just have to finish what dek said
« Last Edit: October 31, 2010, 04:43:06 AM by Zarkin » Logged

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« Reply #11 on: October 31, 2010, 06:36:50 AM »

In place of Dek, you have me to deal with :P

I've noticed that you've stated that Blazer escaped from an abattoir - slaughterhouse. This might be a bit nit-picky but... Why would he be in there in the first place? Horse meat isn't really eaten commercially over Caelereth, as far as I can see...

Also, I want to reinforce Dek's comment about the orcs. Please Change or remove the orc encounter.

If you're not finished, I'd like you to change your icon to a pencil, so you won't be bombarded with constant comments - I see you've got more than enough to deal with here.

That's all. Ridgen.
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Human, Centoraurian


« Reply #12 on: October 31, 2010, 10:56:29 PM »

well blazer wasn't in there for his meat, he was in there for work, he was being worked to death. And if he was takin into the slaughterhouse he'd get shot not gutted (not to be a jerk just saying.) Also i have took out the orc encounter.
 
 Thanks for your time, i will be ready for comments as soon as i get more details.
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Human, Centoraurian


« Reply #13 on: November 01, 2010, 02:24:43 AM »

comments are welcomed  grin (but only just to see the details i added about Blazer, at the bottom.) Any work you need me to do don't be afraid to say so.
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« Reply #14 on: November 01, 2010, 02:26:36 AM »

No guns in Santharia, sorry.

Got to run, sorry. But it is fairly important.
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