Rocelin Ellis/Centoraurian/Knight

[Rocelin Ellis]

Thanks Dekitch

I'm really not trying to be difficult, really.  So for now I have changed the message icon to a pencil and will try to fix these things.  Orc insead of ork... got it I will fix that too. 

This may take a while and I may discard the entire section dealing with the forest. 

Yes I will color the changes for you as well.  I do appreciate so don't give up on me yet. 

[Deklitch Hardin]

Hi Rocelin,

We were all new at one stage, and understand that it can be confusing. I didn't think you were trying to be difficult.

We are always happy to answer questions and see what we do to help people come to an understanding of where things are situated and so forth, and we won't give up on you.

You have obviously put a lot of thought into your character, and personally, I can't see a lot outside of the details of this forest to quibble with.

So please, don't give up on us ... we'll work with you to get you approved.

Dek

[Rocelin Ellis]

Don't worry i have certainly not given up on you.

Ok I believe my new fix should be satisfactory! The battle now takes place in the Aurora Fields north of the town of Thyslan
Edit moved Familiar information to second post.

[Twén Aråerwén]

Since the second post is yours also, moving the above information to that post would be best. Indeed you've reached the word limit, but having this information directly below your initial post would be best.

[Rocelin Ellis]

Ah Thanks Twen  I will do that.

[Deklitch Hardin]

Rocelin, I've spent a couple of days reading through your CD ... impressive work, especially the research you've done into Santharia.

The only thing that really jumps out to me as a quibble is the following sentence in your history ...

Skirmishes with neighboring tribes and groups of renegades were not uncommon.

I'd agree on the bit about skirmishes with groups of renegades, but not necessarily the bit about neighbouring tribes. All of the tribes that make up Sarvonia are relatively peaceful, and I really doubt there'd be armed combat between the tribes. Maybe he and his fellow knights went north to the southern reaches of the Tandala Highlands and helped defend some of the outlying farms from marauding orcs/trolls/ogres that live there? Maybe someone important to him was kidnapped/taken by these foul beasts and he went there to exact revenge of the foul miscreants who did the nasty stuff to the person/people he cared about? Maybe his order required him to go there and kill some orcs and right various wrongs? Or maybe the father of the latest girl he bedded came in on them ... and he had to make a quick escape or face the father's wrath ... or something similar.

As I said, that was the only quibble I had ... if you could attend to that (either by removing the comment about neighbouring tribes or by suggesting that it was tribes of orcs or similar races ... I'd be happy to give you my approval

Dek

[Rocelin Ellis]

Thanks Deklitch!

Great catch.  I should have gathered from what had been said previously that this was incorrect and taken it out.  Here is how I fixed the error.

Skirmishes with groups of renegades were not uncommon.

I would add in your other suggestions but I am afraid if I made this thing any longer I would hold the record for longest CR. 

[Deklitch Hardin]

Thank you for your willingness to work with us on your CD, Rocelin. I am happy to give you a first approval on this CD.

Oh, and I am sure that some other CDs around the place are a bit longer than yours ...

Dek

[Alexandre Scriabin]

Well Rocelin, you've done pretty well with Ceriwyn, Dek, and I. So I feel comfortable giving you a second approval.

[Deklitch Hardin]

Congrats on your 2nd approval, Rocelin.

One of the Administrators will be by to archive your cD.

However, you'll need to go into your CD and remove your editing colours first.

Dek

[Rocelin Ellis]

Hay thanks so much Gentlemen!  I'll get rid of all that red lol.

[Kalína Dalá'isyrás]

Titled and Archived!

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