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Author Topic: Alrick Kinson/Kiingerim/Trader  (Read 14809 times)
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Alrick
Bone Crusher
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« Reply #15 on: January 25, 2012, 01:01:20 PM »

More comments are greatly appreciated. If you have anything to say about my character, please, by all means, say it.
-Alrick
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True friends stab you in the front, not the back. . . Actually they don't stab you at all.
Alrick
Alrick
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« Reply #16 on: January 27, 2012, 02:36:34 PM »

Please comment on Alrick's CD, that would be great.
-Alrick
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Alrick
Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin
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« Reply #17 on: January 27, 2012, 02:46:20 PM »

I'll give you a look over Friday evening, Alrick.
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« Reply #18 on: January 28, 2012, 02:18:47 AM »

Alright, thank you very much Altario.
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« Reply #19 on: January 28, 2012, 06:21:37 PM »

Greetings Alrick, and welcome to the Dream.

I can't seem to find the section where your baregozar and your wirrutharoon have taken place. Since he's 103 years old, that's past the age where dwarves usually perform these tasks.

Have a nice day.
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Alrick
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« Reply #20 on: January 29, 2012, 12:26:48 AM »

Oh my, alright I guess I will have to research that, thank you very much for letting me know Thorgas. And, where could I find this information, I must've over looked it, but I went through the entire dwarven information, and couldn't find anything on it. 
« Last Edit: January 29, 2012, 12:33:13 AM by Alrick » Logged

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« Reply #21 on: January 29, 2012, 12:58:51 AM »

For some odd reason it was nor listed in the overview. But the sign of maturity for dwarves is determined by passing the Hu/Baregozar and their Wirrutharoon. They are listed here under Maturity.

To put it simply:

Baregozar (Huregozar for females) is something like a rite of passage, in which the Denerim of each clan will take the adolescents and counsel them in matters regarding their chosen profession, the clan, what they will contribute, the consequences of their decisions, etc. These are determined individually in consultation with each young adult by the Denirim of the clan.

Wirrutharoon: Also a rite of passage after you've passed your Baregozar. This is like a show and sell, wherein you 'show' your talent with regards to your occupation and you 'sell' yourself to the clan elders. Kind of like a resume. For example, a smith's wirrut may be a intricately made axe, complete with carvings of runes and jewels embedded on them. A cook can prepare her most delicious meal and serve it to the elders for judging, etc. A warrior can bring back the head(Or any unique, personal belongings) of an enemy leader, champion, etc.
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« Reply #22 on: January 29, 2012, 01:01:31 AM »

If I might interject--I feel it might be important, too, to mention what your character did (or didn't do) during his Age of Choosing, which usually occurs at about 90, a few years after your wirrutharoon.

Age of Choosing is usually the point when dwarves choose a mate (or rather when men court and women choose)--though you don't have to choose a mate. Perhaps your character is too upset regarding Bolo. Or perhaps there are simply not enough females in your tribe (I think I read somewhere that this is common, though now I'm not sure where).

You mention having a captain in the army, but perhaps consider throwing in a dwarven title, just for a little Santharian flair.  ;)
Quote
Hthom is equivalent to general, Merchirerons and Elengerons to captains and Ongerons to lieutenants.

I think this CD is coming along wonderfully! You have done a lot of good research, and once you make this last few lingering changes, I think you should be about ready to go! Nice work, Alrick.  :)
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« Reply #23 on: January 29, 2012, 01:24:41 AM »

Awesome thank you very much for your help. I will add those finishing touches in sometime today!
Much appreciation,
-Alrick
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« Reply #24 on: January 29, 2012, 02:05:46 AM »

Edits in Chocolate and comments in Salmon.  (Yes, its before breakfast and I'm hungry)


Name
Alrick Kinson

Gender
Male

Age
103 years

Race
Dwarf

Tribe
Kiingerim

Occupation
Alrick was a breaker for his home city, Tyr Faerath. The job of the breakers is to be the first to face the enemy on the battlefield, and cut them down. Alrick has also acquired trading skills from his mother and father. Trading is now his primary occupation.  

Title
Bone Crusher

Appearance
   Height
He is a few nailsbreadths taller than 1 ped.

   Weight
2 Pygges, 4 Hebs, 1 Hafeb, 4 Ods, 5 Muts.

   Hair
Alrick has very black hair that goes a few nailsbreadths past his shoulders. He also has a black beard that is down to his knees.

   Eye Colour
Deep, black eyes that are very common in the Kiingerim tribe.

   Skin Colour
Alrick's skin is not touched by the sun a lot, but is enough so as not to be pale.

   Physical Appearance
Alrick has straight legs and a straight back which is not common in other dwarven tribes. He has very broad shoulders, and is very stout. Alrick has a very good balance due to his stoutness, and his straight back. His black eyes are very deeply set above his thick cheeks. His ears are large but always hidden underneath his long hair. Alrick's nose is large, and contains hairs from his beard inside it. He has very thin, light pink lips that are covered by his thick beard.

Clothing
For a day of trading, Alrick wears a short grey robe that goes to his knees. With this he wears a large belt, that has a buckle made of silver. Under his cloak, he wears a grey tunic. Alrick has another set of clothing just like the previous, except in white instead of grey. But when Alrick is doing his duties as a breaker, he wears armour and carries an axe. His armour is made out of many metal chains linked together, and he also wears a helmet into battle.

Personality
Alrick is a very talkative dwarf towards any race, and once he has a few ales, he becomes even more social (if that's possible). He is nice and sympathetic in so many ways, but when people start feeling sorry for themselves, Alrick begins to dislike them. When one begins to talk about small problems that they have, Alrick gets very annoyed and almost always walks away. When he is on the battlefield, he is a completely different dwarf. Alrick has no mercy for his enemies, and slaughters any that come in the way of him and his axe. Trading business is a huge part of his family, therefore he's a very good "swindler". Alrick is very straightforward, and when someone asks for his opinion, he is not afraid to share it. He always sticks by what he feels is right, and is swayed by no one once his heart is set on something.  

Strengths
   Axe: Alrick is very skilled in melee with axes. The axe he wields is 1.5 peds long, used for crushing shields and breaking through enemy defenses.
   Fighting: Once in "fight mode" Alrick can fight up to 6 enemies at once, and defend against them. This strength has been proven on the battlefield to be very handy and life saving.    
   Trade: Alrick is very good at bargaining. He makes people think what he's trading them is worth as much as what he's trading for. But usually he cheats them, but is very convincing and can trade about any item he's trying to get rid of, for a more useful one.

Weaknesses
   Battle Rage: Although Alrick is very skilled in combat, he gets carried away in battle more often than not. Even when the battle has been clearly lost by the enemy, Alrick will keep slaughtering the enemy as if his life depended on it. He has to be stopped by his comrades (which usually works). How is this a weakness?  Seems like a strength to me.  You are dealing more damage to the enemy.
   Boundaries: He is unaware of peoples' personal space, no matter who or what they are, Alrick will immediately strike up conversation with them. He tends to get very close to people so they're almost nose to nose. Not if they're tall :P Many people that aren't to fond of dwarves greatly dislike when he does this, especially if they'd rather go to bed then listen to him talk. Alrick also gets very loud when he starts drinking, which annoys people as well (who are thinking about rest).
   Speech: Alrick grew up in a lower class family, which means he's less educated. His grammar and vocabulary are next to atrocious. This weakness greatly impedes on his trade and his day-to-day life.
   Sorrow: It's not often that this will happen, but from time to time Alrick gets so depressed over the loss of Bolo, that he drinks until he passes out. When he passes out, hopefully he's not in a shadey area, because once he's out, anyone can do anything they want to him. But so far he's been lucky and he's woken up in a nice, warm bed.

History


Childhood
Alrick Kinson was born to his mother, Hietta, and father, Leroy. He has two older sisters and one younger brother. His family was poor at the time of his birth, and lived in a smaller house than most of the other Kingerim dwarves. It was hard for Alrick and his siblings to get food and drink, their mother and father were traders. Usually all Kiingerim dwarves were brilliant traders, but the Kinson family didn't have much to trade.For a time Leroy was a milcher, he rounded up Milch goats for dairy and meat. This is the most dangerous job for a Kiingerim dwarf, and more dwarves get killed as milchers than they do as soldiers. But as the children got older, they started to trade as well, and Alrick was the perfect guy for the job. Him and his family moved into a larger house and obtained more furniture to make it more comfortable.

Breaker
All of his siblings were perfectley content to live their lives trading, but not Alrick. He was more interested in the Tyr Faerath army. Although he knew he woudn't get much real life fighting, for Tyr Faerath didn't have any threats of battle for a long time, he was still very interested. Alrick was always a big, burley dwarf, and knew exactly what type of soldier he wanted to be, a breaker. In his opinion the breakers were the biggest and badest of all the soldiers, they were the once ones who met the enemy face-to-face. His family was very supportive of this choice of action, and he joined. He loved being a breaker, and no one else did the job better than he could. Alrick never fought in any wars or giant battles, but he did fight in a few skirmishes.

The Chyrakisth
The Chyrakisth Orcs consist of the utmost cruelty of any mortal being. They're blood thirsty and savage, therefore this was one of the most challenging battles of Alrick's life. It was a cool, fall night, all of the breakers were in the training arena, enhancing their skills with the large axes they so brilliantly wielded. As Alrick was in mid-swing to chop off a dummies head, one of the captains came bursting into the large arena and shouted at the top of his lungs, "Orcs, Chyrakisth Orcs, coming near the gates!" It was too late for the fellers to do anything useful, so the breakers were next to fight. Alrick already had an image of the horrible beasts in his head, 2 sharp pointed teeth bared, towering peds above the dwarves, and glowering eyes that couldn't escape his thoughts. For the first time in awhile, Alrick was scared. At the moment the breakers arrived at the gate, the fight for their lives began. There was 200 breakers against 150 orcs.

Poison
Right from the get-go the 2 breakers that were on either side of Alrick were slaughtered. Usually each breaker could take at least 5 enemies at a time, but now they were lucky if they could take on 1. But in return he saw 2 orcs fall dead to the ground. Immediately 2 of the biggest and baddest looking orcs came straight for Alrick, towering and barraling after him. There was no where to run, one of the orcs took a huge, powerful swing at his head, but the height difference had its advantages. He ducked, and swung his giant axe at one of the orcs knees, it was horribly injured, but still didn't go down. It was 2 against 1, and Alrick had his back to one of the orcs, and paid the price. The orc stabbed him with his dagger right in the back, Alrick was hurt, but not bad enough. He swung around in a full circle and chopped off its head. He saw the other one's head fall to the ground as well, when its entire body fell to the ground, the wielder of the axe that potentially save Alrick's life came into view. His best friend, Bolo, had cut off the orc's head with his mighty axe. Then the soldiers came to the aid of the breakers and the tide was turning against the orcs. But still, many dwarves fell to the hands of the Chyrakisth beasts, Alrick and Bolo saw one of them throw a dart from a distance towards one of the soldiers. The soldier was hit square in the neck and writhed in pain. Poison darts were not the most common of weapon choices for the Chyrakisth Orcs, but at times they were their favorite. Then, it was time for the raiders to do their job, they flanked the enemy, and the beasts were destroyed.  

Recovery
*Chuckles* "That was one tough, but exciting battle! Eh Alrick?" *Hardy laugh* "Ah my dearest friend Bolo, you always seem to find the light even in the darkest of times."
There were many dead and wounded Tyr Faereth fighters on the battlefield. The soldier who had been poisoned by the dart was now dead, black liquid trickled from his wound. It took well into the early hours of daybreak to clean up the grounds in front of the gate, everyone was completely exhausted. Alrick had even forgoten that he had been injured. He only remembered when he felt an itch that was his gash forming into a scab. Bolo noticed Alrick's wound for the first time, and looked almost frightened. Alrick realized his friends concern and said, "What's life without a few scratches?" (Alrick got stabbed by one of the orcs in the back) Bolo responded by saying, "Real friends stab you in the front, not the back." *laughing* "I would prefer to not be stabbed at all!"
Alrick and all of the other fighters got to go home after the clean-up, right when he walked in the door of his home, he was bombarded with questions from his loved ones. When his mother found the wound he had obtained, she was exassperated. She instantly cleaned his wound, so as not to get infected, and made him lay down. It was comforting. . . but how had his family gotten into his house? O well, he thought, that question can be answered later, for now rest was the only thing on his mind. His eyes slowly drooped shut, and he dozed off into dreams, where anything is possible.

The Milcher Boy
Years before the battle between the Tyr Faereth soldiers and the Chyrakisth Orcs, one of Alrick's sisters had, had a child. His name was Miller. He never really had a nack knack for trade, nor did he for fighting, so he became a milcher. Milchers were a crucial part in the day-to-day lives of the Kingerim dwarves, but no one ever wanted to do it. Miller and all of the other young, daring dwarves who did the job, would put their lives on the line every time they went out and rounded up milch goats. Miller's mother always feared that one day he wouldn't come back from the mountains where the wretched goats lived. Her fearful thoughts became reality one rainy day in Tyr Faereth. The rocky, steep mountain craigs left no room for footing, every step you took was a step closer to death. Without the rain it was dangerous, with rain death was sure to come. The suppy supply of milch goats had been low that day, and Miller and two other young Dwarves were sent to gather some goats for the town. Only one returned, without any meat or milk, but with tears and sorrow.

In The Front
Alrick had a lot of sorrow in his life, the battle between the dwarves and orcs where many lives had been lost, and then the death of his nephew, what else could go wrong? He didn't think that anything else was worse than what he already endured, but he was mistaken.
It was a misty, foggy day, and there was word that on this particular day the Kingerim dwarves should be expecting an attack. No one knew when or from who, but none the less, they were ready. The fellers were perched on the walls ready to throw,the breakers were inside the city walls awaiting the use of their giant battle axes, and everyone else was in place, ready to attack if need be. The battle cry of the Chyrakisth Orcs  could be heard through the thick fog, they were coming with bad intentions. All of the Tyr Faereth fighters knew what happened last time, although they won the battle, they didn't leave it without scars. All that ran through the dwarves minds was the image of their enemy. The fog made everything so difficult, all of the sudden the orcs came into view and the fellers were taken by suprise. They all threw there their axes, but only a few of the orcs went down, the mist was spraying in the feller's eyes, impeding their vision. This time Alrick was not afraid, he was the first breaker to enter the enemie's front lines, and the rest followed suite.

Not The Back
Bolo and Alrick were shoulder-to-shoulder, it seemed there were more orcs then last time. Left and right bodies were falling hard to the ground, dwarves and orcs alike. An orc was engaging Bolo, the orc moved a little quicker. Having speed advantage, he took a swipe at his shoulder. Bolo felt enourmas pain flow through his arm, up into his hand, and his whole left side went numb. Alrick saw this happen, and became furious, he swung his axe around and took of it's head. Bolo smiled, but became nervous as he met his friend's gaze. Hate and anger filled Alrick's eyes as the pursuit of battle overcame him. One after another Alrick slew the orcs mercilusley. The battle was dying down on their side of the field, and Bolo walked up behind Alrick to get him back to reality, and shake him out of his "battle rage." But Alrick was lost in the moment, he was in "battle mode." His instinct told him it was an enemy, he slashed at Bolo through the stomach. When he saw his victim's face, his entire body went flush. He stared into his best friend's eyes, tears streaming down, "I'm sorry. . . " Alrick could barely get the words out. Bolo's eyes flickered, then shut, and he fell farther onto the blade. Alrick took it out, laid his axe down, and fell over his companion's dead body. He didn't want to let go, he didn't want to face the horrible truth at what he had done. Battle was raging on around him, but no one took notice, for they probably thought him dead.
"Al!". . . "Alrick!". . . "Alrick Kinson!" The captain of the breakers tried to pry Alrick off Bolo's body, but he refused. He never wanted to let go, he couldn't, this was his friend. The captain didn't know that what Alrick was on top of, was in fact his dearest friend's body. Again and again the captain tried pulling him up, and finally he let him. When the captain saw what was underneath, a single tear made a trail down his cheek. "I'm so sorry Kinson. . . he was a great and honorable dwarf." Alrick stared at his friend for a second, then turned to the captain and said, "I know." He picked up Bolo's body, and wrapped it up in a spare cloak from the infermary.

Sorrow
After Alick sayed some closing words to his now life neglected friend, he went to a tavern. He couldn't remember which one, or how he really got there, but he went. Alrick didn't care if this would make him forget or not, he didn't want to forget anyway. He kept telling the bartender, "MORE BEER OVER HERE PLEASE!"  Others in the tavern were getting annoyed at how loud he was being, and started to leave. Some who were too drunk to notice, were the only ones to stay, and they enjoyed the company of the dwarf. But Alrick took no notice to any of them, he just kept drinking. He finished another, the room started getting unbalanced, everything spinning. Alrick fell to the ground from his stool, and was passed out in the middle of the tavern. He woke up, he looked exactly the same way he did after the battle, tired, sad, and bloodied.  

Trader
Nothing but lemon juice poured on a newly opened wound, could even come close to what Alrick felt. His beard was coated with dry blood, as was his axe. But the blood on his axe was not only from his enemies, but from his friend. He felt he could never pick that axe up again, he was too heart broken by what it. . .  by what he, had done. Family and friends either consoled him, or were too disgusted to look at him. Everyone knew his problem on the battlefield, but usually it was a pro, not a con. It didn't matter anyway, Alrick just wanted to be alone, to drown in his tears and his sorrow. But after days of this state of depression he found himself in, he would have no more of it. Alrick thought that this would be the last thing Bolo would've wanted, for him to give up. So he took on one of his greatest skills, and made it his life. . . trading.

New Life
This type of life style was strage for Alrick. He was used to the exhileration and excitment that he got from battle. Trading was much different, uneventful and boring. Although Alrick was very, very good at it, it just wasn't his passion. He still practiced and trained the new recruits of the Tyr Faerath army from time-to-time, but he couldn't kill anymore.

Success
One day he was sent to a city 2 leagues away from Tyr Faerath on a trade-business trip. He was to trade his best items, for even better items in a market in another city. The city was small, but was a very productive location for traders and merchants alike. Alrick had a very successful day, so he continued to go on trips to large market cities. After awhile, Alrick went places that took 2-3 days journey to arrive, just to trade. But he wouldn't only go to trade, he found very simple things, very fascinating, and had a wonderful time traveling.

Now-a-Days
Alrick Kinson goes to many different places, all around the world. He trades a lot, but more than often he will take a day to go to various taverns, and drink. Alrick has met many people in many places, making friends all around. He tries not to go to the same place more than once, but from time to time he goes back and visits people who he has come to greatly admire.  

Possessions
   Clothing
2 robes, one grey and one white. Has a belt with a large buckle. Also, Alrick has 2 tunics to go with his cloaks. He also wears boots that are soft and go up nailsbreadths past his ankles.
   Weapon
Alrick weilds an axe, which he carries on his back. The holster type thing for his axe is made of leather.
   Miscellaneous
He always is lugging around trade items that he hauls around in his leath backpack. Alrick also has a belt pouch which he carries his sans in. He has 30 sans, but not for long, for he keeps spending them on drinks!


All in all, a nice CD. :)  Don't see anything overtly wrong, certainly nothing that would hold back an approval by me.  Take care of the issues presented by Thorgas and Rayne and you'll be drinking and breaking in no time.
« Last Edit: January 29, 2012, 05:14:40 AM by Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin » Logged

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« Reply #25 on: January 29, 2012, 03:47:51 AM »

Oopsiedaisy. I thought Bolo was your wife, so I did not mention the importance of the Age of Choosing. buck

I apologize for making that mistake, a big thank-ye-kindly to Alyr for pointing it out.
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« Reply #26 on: January 29, 2012, 04:34:00 AM »

Haha that's hilarious. LOL
No Bolo is just Alrick's best friend since childhood really, not his wife haha.
So I have to do the age choosing part where you find the mate and that's it?

Also, Altario thank you very much for addressing those mistakes. I will get on that right away. The battle rage thing is a weakness because it ends up killing one of his friends. It makes him confused between enemy and ally. And haha ya if they're tall they wouldn't really notice him I guess eh?

Thank you very much everybody,
-Alrick

PS. where do I find all the stuff about wirrutharoons and such?
« Last Edit: January 29, 2012, 05:11:45 AM by Alrick » Logged

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« Reply #27 on: January 29, 2012, 10:30:31 PM »

For some odd reason it was nor listed in the overview. But the sign of maturity for dwarves is determined by passing the Hu/Baregozar and their Wirrutharoon. They are listed here under Maturity.

To put it simply:

Baregozar (Huregozar for females) is something like a rite of passage, in which the Denerim of each clan will take the adolescents and counsel them in matters regarding their chosen profession, the clan, what they will contribute, the consequences of their decisions, etc. These are determined individually in consultation with each young adult by the Denirim of the clan.

Wirrutharoon: Also a rite of passage after you've passed your Baregozar. This is like a show and sell, wherein you 'show' your talent with regards to your occupation and you 'sell' yourself to the clan elders. Kind of like a resume. For example, a smith's wirrut may be a intricately made axe, complete with carvings of runes and jewels embedded on them. A cook can prepare her most delicious meal and serve it to the elders for judging, etc. A warrior can bring back the head(Or any unique, personal belongings) of an enemy leader, champion, etc.

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« Reply #28 on: January 30, 2012, 03:30:24 AM »

Alright, thanks, and I'm hoping it isn't of concern that I changed professions?
Also, is it Denerim or Denirim?
« Last Edit: January 30, 2012, 03:34:13 AM by Alrick » Logged

True friends stab you in the front, not the back. . . Actually they don't stab you at all.
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« Reply #29 on: January 30, 2012, 04:03:04 AM »

Well there we go, hope what I've done suffices. I added all of the necessary components into my character. If there's any problems please let me know,
Thank you very much,
-Alrick
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