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Author Topic: Aseiá Melór/ Quaelhoirhim- Eyelians/Adventurer  (Read 4912 times)
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Aseia
The Roaming Rose
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Quaelhoirhim/Eyelian


« on: April 09, 2012, 08:52:45 PM »

Name:  Aseiá Melór
Gender: Female
Age: 36 years old. Looks like a human of age 25 with the approximate knowledge and training of a 30 year old human.
Race: Elf x Human (Feyfolk)
Tribe: Quaelhoirhim (Father)/Eyelians (Mother)
Occupation: Adventurer
Title: The Roaming Rose



Overview:

The impervious Aseiá Melór, one of the Feyfolk, was raised singularly by her elven woodcrafter father deep and isolated in the Zeiphyrian forest where she was tutored well in many subjects and trained in many disciplines. Having a lust for adventure very early, when she finally learns the history of her maternal parent she becomes restless and bitter towards her father and thus leaves home past the borders of the forest and out into the lands beyond.



Appearance

        -Height: 1 Ped, 4 Fore, 3 Palmspans.
        -Weight: 1 Pygge, 2 Hebs, 1 Hafeb, 3 Ods.
        -Hair colour: Korwyn Gold with subtle lowlights and highlights of dark brown.
        -Eye colour: Sognastheen green[/center]



Physical Appearance  
With her Eyelian blood, Aseiá has a much shorter build then that of the pure elves and though her physique still holds some elfish slenderness, it is toned, statuesque and sensually curved. Having spent more time in her recent years in the saddle then on the ground her legs are firm and balanced so that she oozes a sleek strength with every footfall and yet still retains a silentious stealth.
Her hair is of thick, silken, molten gold with fine streaks of a bitter brown and is as long as the line of her hips with soft gentle waves that she prefers to wear in a simple braid to keep it from her face.
    Her compelling orbs transform form darker to lighter shades with shifting emotions and are a riveting emerald green.
The mix of her fair skinned father and mocha skinned mother has given her epidermis a soft golden mocha glow that is lustrous and polished with salient rosy cheeks adorned with a small, elegant mouth and a dainty nose that makes for a very alluring and bewitching appearance.
She has her ears, that are slightly pointed, pierced but only wears one ear ring, that of a single falcon feather, dyed red, that had been her mother’s (history see below).


Clothing  
Suitable clothing for heavy and long riding in all weather conditions.
        -Sturdy knee length, brown leather boots.
        -Close fitting beige or brown breeches.
        -White cotton or linen shirts.
        -A leather vest.  
        -Two hooded cloaks of course water resistant wool, one of a mix of grey and blue to help camouflage in mist and fog, the other a mottled green for all purposes.
        -A brown shawl always worn under her cloak and about her head concealing all but her face.
        -Brown leather riding gloves.



Personality  
Growing up with mostly only the company of her father in isolation, Aseiá has become socially inept. If she can help it she will steer clear of any manner of socialism, but if she does happen to be in the presence of others she will appear distant and wary.
     Having a general fear of vulnerability and for others to think her weak or incapable, in the company of strangers she can be incredibly impassive and aloof and will become anxious and flighty in crowds. In the company of the people she cares about and her loved ones though she is often sarcastic but gentle and kind. She talks from her mind as quickly as her mind moves, often before thinking. She has strong and sometimes extreme opinions that she doesn’t try to soften for the benefit of others and when she might happen to express them, express them she will.

If she wants something she will generally try to acquire it and if she wants to do something, generally she will, fighting temptation is not one of her strengths.

Aseiá has never been one to complain, even when in pain or for any circumstance. She is a true believer in the patterns of fate and that whatever happens, has and will happen for one reason or another.
   She isn’t a spiritual person and has no set beliefs on gods or religions as such and only has faith in existence and that life will carry on day after day, or it will end, and when it does, it was meant to.

Not one to joke around Aseiá more than often comes across as very serious and mature to the point of being sombre. Being incredibly secretive, some even say impenetrable, she doesn’t like revealing her background and history and can become cryptic and enigmatic to avoid giving straight answers to any curious questions. She is not one to buckle under pressure or give in and when she says no, she really does mean it.
   Though on a rare occasion, if the event is well worth the effort she can be humorous in a strange and fondly quirky way.

Though she had grown up with mostly only her father, her father was a kind and gentle man and if one were to pay close enough attention they could see him reflected through her in the gentleness she possesses when she strokes the slender neck of her mare, or see the sweetness in the way she whispers quiet words of adoration into the ear of her steed and the love when she smiles down to her faithful wolf. She isn’t made of all thorns and tartness, behind the outer case of her bitter self is someone who is insecure about her mixed heritage which is why she chooses to hide all but her face and does not recognise her real and rare beauty.

 She has a powerful love of nature and of animals, especially her own two and for the entire hard woman she is, a warmer being does exist within her it is just rarely revealed. For as much as she avoids any company of other people and or races, she would not turn away from the less fortunate or suffering.



Strengths  
     -Weaponry: Definitely her strongest asset is that with her use of the longbow. Her father’s tutoring and her ruthless practice has given her a sound skill with the aim and hunt and though she is no expert, she is well on the way to becoming an accomplished archeress.  Though Aseiá also has a quick and cunning aptitude with the dagger, having again the tutoring of her father, it is used mainly for skinning animals rather than a weapon of combat.

        -Woodcraft: : With her father a masterful woodcraftsmen Aseiá had been taught the craft from a very early age and from that has acquired quite a hand with intricate carvings. More so, she is well enough skilled to make bows and arrows and repair her own if need be.

-Education: Aseiá can read, write and speak in both Tharian and Styrash, to a fare degree.




Weaknesses  
-Diminutive: Due to her short stature, Aseiá faces a number of disadvantages such as being slower on foot over longer distances and being incapable of reaching up at greater heights. In skirmish she has a far greater chance of being overlooked and unnoticed, which in turn results for a higher chance of injury. Also being short her age can sometimes be misjudged and therefore not taken sincerely.

   -Inexperience: Certainly youth has all the benefits of being young and filled with life and vigour, but with it also comes inexperience and a lack of knowledge and wisdom. Raw and with insufficient exposure, there is much room for mistake making and Aseiá can often find herself placing her feet where they should not be treading.

   -Socially misanthropic: Having grown isolated within the forest and having almost entirely the company only of her father, social skills were never developed nor where they required. In public company she can become combative and antagonistic but more than often remains estranged and distant preferring her own company. Her self-centeredness is not necessarily always out of anti-social feelings, but born from her fear of vulnerability so she is pessimistic and distrusting of strangers, even if in need of help.



History
After many long years of being an elven ranger, Avennián Melór established himself in a small settlement deep in the Zeiphyrian forest and turned to woodcraft. For many a more long year, his time was spent with making the finest of wooden creations of all natures from weaponry and instruments to furnishings. Equipped with an extraordinary skill of bringing intricate and magnificently detailed carvings to life on his pieces he was soon known to be one of the finest woodcraftsmen throughout the land and beings of all shapes and sizes alike sought out his craftsmanship.

Having once been a ranger though, his heart still yearned for the travelling road so from time to time he took to traversing with the local traders with a small amount of his fine works. His last trading venture had been to one of his most revered destinations, Vezash, the capital city of the Eyelian tribe.

Of all the races throughout the land that he had, had the chance of happening upon, it was this small human tribe that he had grown to admire above all else. He venerated there instinctual intelligence, their soulful traditions, their willingness to accept others, their dedication to each other and the deep connection they seemed to share with nature and with animals.

On his last visit to the city, Avennián found himself conversing with an Eyelian Beast Master who was much admiring a flute that he had carried with him. The flute had been adorned with tiny but exact carvings of falcons in flight and if the instrument was turned it appeared that the wings of the feathered creatures were truly flying. Amazed with the skill of the golden elf, the Beast Master invited Avennián back to his humble wooden home on the far outskirts of the city. There he learnt many things of the Eyelian eagle clan family, the Beast Masters wife, their two sons and their beautiful young daughter with a single red, falcon feather ear ring.
        After much debate the Beast Master requested the grand elf to stay among his family for a short while and teach him some of his wood crafting skills in exchange for some of the master’s knowledge on the language of animals. In that short time an intimate foundation grew between Avennián and the young daughter. She was a short woman, but athletic and the naturalness of her very essence had astonished him from the very beginning; it had been as if she had grown out of the earthy ground itself. The freedom in the way she moved had his stark green eyes searching for her every step. With her wide, untouchable smile of youth, long ebony hair and large, almond shaped night sky eyes, Avennián was entranced.
   She too had been enthralled by the handsome elf, and the pair soon courted in private and in secret.

As it were though, the Beast master noticed a change between the two and soon formed his suspicions and having already promised his daughters hand in marriage to a fine young Eyelian man he asked the elf to leave his home and return to whence he had come. Saddened and conflicted Avennián asked his young maid to return with him to the forest, but, having a strong love and respect for her family she sorrowfully declined. So, with a heavy heart, Avennián departed and returned to his home among the tall trees of the forest.

As it was widely known that the chance of an elf and a human to have a child was extremely low the young woman thought nothing of the subject and went about her days as habitual. Though, some months after the farewell of her companion she noticed changes in her body and her belly gradually began to swell. Fearing the reaction of her father she confessed only to her mother and the mother and daughter did their best at concealing the pregnancy until the last few weeks of her child-bearing period. When the Beast Master finally uncovered their deception the man was outraged and the stress of his violence pushed his young daughter into a long, hard and painful labour that would take her life.

On the 19th day of Awakening Earth a fair babe was born, a girl. As the young woman’s heartbeats slowly began to fade she held the little baby close and wept for time she would not be granted to watch her child grow and for the beauty of her daughter, for she had been the most beautiful baby that she had ever seen or could have ever imagined.

“She’s so beautiful. My daughter, as beautiful and as lovely as a glorious rose” Where the last dying words of the sweet Eyelian maid.

The Beast Master was ravaged at the death of his only daughter and so fearing for the life of her granddaughter; the master’s wife took the babe and journeyed into the Zeiphyrian forest under the cover of traders in search of the acclaimed woodcrafter. When the older woman did find the dwelling of the elf it was empty of his presence, and, in fear of losing her strength to let the child go, she left the tiny baby girl wrapped in a tight bundle at her father’s doorstep with all but a single rose as a last gift and the falcon feather ear ring that had once been her mother’s.

Avennián returned from gathering new pieces of wood to carve at dusk and found the babe at his door, staring up at him with large spellbinding eyes. He did not need to question that the baby was his daughter, for she already had fair wisps of his golden hair and the hint of his emerald eyes in hers, though she had inherited the soft creamy, golden mocha skin of her mother. Reason told him that for the babe to be left with him her mother must now be dead or the family had forbidden her to live among them. He soon found that he cared for neither of the explanations, as soon as his gaze had rested upon her he loved her unconditionally, like only a parent loves their child and vowed to raise, care and love her for as long as his life permitted. He had thought it like gazing into heaven when he looked at her, and so he named her, Aseiá.

Having lived alone, and then to suddenly have a baby, alone, word was soon spread of the woodcrafters strange golden baby. Fearing that when the baby grew it would be cast as different or ridiculed, and perhaps even selfish to share his beloved with anyone else, Avennián moved as deep as he could go into the forest and made a secluded private dwelling to where he could raise his daughter away from all others. He set aside his woodcraft, the word of his magic soon dying down to legend of his living carvings.

He cradled his babe to sleep every night, signing soft elven lullabies and telling her all the tales of old. Having found the rose with her when she had arrived, Avennián planted many rose bushes around their home and replaced a single rose flower by her bed every morning.

He raised her well and adored her like nothing else in his life and watched her grow into a delightful young girl. He tutored her in both the Tharian and Styrash languages and she became fluent in both in many a short month. Then he taught her to read and write in both, the ways and traditions of his people and of the others throughout the land, the myths and laws and histories of all the provinces and much, much more. He taught her for many years his skill at wood crafting and was delighted to find she too was well handed with the craft.

With each passing year she grew more extravagant and beautiful and became curious and adventurous, often roaming off out of sight. Avennián often laughed and called her his little roaming rose as she danced about their rose garden.

When she was old enough, he taught her all the skills he had learnt as a ranger, the use and the art of hunting with a bow and the profession of fighting and skinning with a dagger. Soon he came to recognise the same yearn in her that had held him long ago, the yearning for adventure, he saw it shining fourth in her eyes when he told her the stories of battles and hero’s of long ago, and knew that someday soon, she would leave him.

Aseiá was 20 years of age when she finally learnt the history of her maternal heritage, having persisted with her father for many years. When she heard the truth and was given the red falcon feather that she had worn from that day on, she was saddened by the revelation and angry at her father. She grew bitter at him and estranged herself from him for many long months, taking to spending her days away from their home out in the forest with her bow, practicing as ruthlessly as she could, for the day when she sat out on her own. Her father had known this, for three years before her 30th birthday he had gone away to the Xara horse auctions in Horth with many of his carvings, and returned with a magnificent grey Centoraurian filly with a full set of riding gear. His only explanation to her had been that an old friend owed him a debt and he would not have his daughter set out into the world on foot.

Her days after that where then equally spent with her horse, that she named Dčl, for the magic of her grace and gentleness. She naturally learnt the language of her stead, thanks to her Eyelian lines and the small knowledge of the language of animals that her father had passed down to her, and soon had her trained acutely and fit and ready for the roads of adventure.

Two years before her 30th birthday, on an occasion out hunting with her bow at night, Aseiá came across a lone wolfdog pup wandering around the forest. She had waited all night and searched ruthlessly for signs of its siblings or mother, and when she had found none, she took the grey pup back to her home. Her father had been angry and when he denied her to keep the pup she took to sleeping outside with it so that she did not have to part with it.  Her father soon softened to the idea when Aseiá pointed out that the wolf would be an excellent source of protection. Having found him wandering around lost in the forest Aseiá titled him, Amncín. Being a cross with some other breed, he was more slender than that of the pure wolf but he grew to be a large, powerful and agile creature. Like that of the pure wolf, his coat consisted of two layers; a soft, light dense underfur that was white, lying beneath a covering of long black guard hairs. In two years of training he was a loyal and loving companion for his mistress and a master to her every command.

One year before her 30th birthday her father had become so saddened and desperate at the knowing of his beloved daughter leaving that Aseiá softened her attitude towards him, as she still did and always had loved him dearly, and repaired their damaged and bitter relationship. Reluctant still, her father accepted the reality and soon took to helping Aseiá prepare for her departure, teaching her every possible thing he could that would be of any use in the short time he had left with her.

On her 30th birthday her father presented Aseiá with a magnificent broach, nothing like she had seen before, carved by his hand in the shape of a rose and told her that she would always be his roaming rose. He also presented her with a stunning longbow that was adorned again in intricate carvings of roses and a quiver full of 20 arrows with, to her delight, falcon feather flights that he had personally dyed red and the dagger that he had used to train her with.

The morning after though, instead she had put a rose by her father’s bed while he still slept, as her final goodbye, knowing she would not have been strong enough to say it in word face to face. Then before the first rays of sun began to shine through the tall evergreens, she had clamped her green cloak about her shoulders with the rose broach, mounted her mare, whistled for her wolf and was gone, with tales of the magical woodcrafter’s golden daughter upon the silver mare with the silver beast at her heals whispering about the land.



Weapons

        -A Longbow with a quiver full of 20 arrows with falcon feather flights dyed red.
        - A Jhé’vai Dagger, hidden on her left forearm.
  

Belongings

   -Weapons (see above)
   -Clothing (see above)
   -Water skin
   -Riding gear (includes: saddle, bridle, two large saddle bags (all made of brown leather) and a dark red saddle blanket)
   -A wooden broach (used to hold her cloak together) in the shape of a rose (history see above).
   -One ear ring, a falcon feather dyed red (history see above).
   -A small leather pouch of coins.

Familiars

        -Dčl, a Centoraurian mare of nearly 15 hands. She is grey with steal highlights through her mane and tail and dark smudges over her hindquarters and legs.
        -A large domesticated dark grey wolfdog (or Hybrid Wolf), Amncín.
« Last Edit: May 13, 2012, 01:53:40 PM by Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin » Logged

Aseia
The Roaming Rose
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Quaelhoirhim/Eyelian


« Reply #1 on: April 09, 2012, 09:32:10 PM »

*Wipes brow*
When I first set out to do this character description I really underestimated just how much time, creativity and research was needed and I only hope that I have done the long hard hours justice.

I've been looking around the site for weeks, reading others CD's, researching the races, the languages the places and so fourth and so fourth and have my fingers crossed painfully hard that I have not overstepped my boundaries in any way and that it is without too many mistakes and errors and that it may be enjoyable to read.

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Tak
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« Reply #2 on: April 10, 2012, 01:42:16 AM »

Hello hello!  Welcome to the boards. 

Looks like a lovely character, I hope we can get you approved quickly!

PERSONALITY

There are a few…inconsistencies in your characters personality that need to be addressed.  First, you say, “Aseiá had no experience in public society and has thus become quite unsocial.” Then in the next line you say, “she is an incredibly articulate speaker she is not one to engage in true conversation or discussion, anything other than small talk is unusual.”  I’m not sure that you could have it both ways.  Generally the socially awkward ones really can’t do small talk, that’s what makes them socially awkward. 

Later you say she is sarcastic, but then that she isn’t one to joke around.  (“So in the company of others she can be incredibly sarcastic, blunt and or straight forward.” And “Not one to joke around Aseiá more than often comes across as very serious and mature to the point of being sombre.”  )

This isn’t to say that you can’t play a character with depth (after all, my personality around my parents is different than my friends/girlfriend/co-workers/strangers/ect.); however, you may want to figure out how you want your character to interact with these people and then play that out accordingly.  I wouldn’t say it’s too far off for her to be stoic around strangers, sarcastic around friends, and actually caring around those she loves.  But, don’t let me make your character for you ;)

Basically, to sum up the personality bit, I’d drop the “had no experience in public society” bit and/or just say she’s nervous in large crowds.  That explains the stoic attitude and could pave the way to expanding your weaknesses. 

Speaking of weaknesses…on to STRENGTHS and WEAKNESSES!

You need to add (both in her strengths and her history) how she obtained and learned to use the Judgement Quill.  It’s a specialized weapon and, since Aseiá isn’t an assassin, you need to explain her training with it. 

We also need to add in her dagger.  Is she good with it, does she just use it to skin animals?  How did she learn to use it?  Ect. 

Now…this is the biggest problem…”Due to her Eyelian blood, she has a remarkable way with animals and can communicate with them in a way that may seem unearthly to others which is the reason of the ease in her relationship and training of her wolf.”  I’m not an expert on the Eyelians, but in the entry it says, “The Eyelians learn, from childhood, the "language" of many animals, that means to understand their movements, their sounds and their behaviour in a way, which they can imitate to such a perfect degree that the wild animals respond to it, be it to sounds or movements. Most often, this is used to call a beast or to send it away (sounds seeking for defence etc. are emitted for example).” 

In my opinion, if you want to keep this strength, you should add in her history that she spent a lot of time with animals, and that she had a natural affinity with animals.  This isn’t to say she can’t be good with animals, but being away from her people would make it much harder for her to be as good with animals as your average Eyelian.  At the end of the day it’s a nature vs nurture argument, so if you give her a nudge to have both then you’re set.

( For a bad example, it would be like taking a Japanese baby, bringing her to America, and then expecting her to have an obsession with Manga and anime.  If you expose her to manga and anime she may like it more, but there is a decent chance that it won’t ‘just happen’ on its own.)

Your weaknesses also need a bit of work.  From all of this, she’s good with a sword, a dagger, and a judgment quill.  She’s even better with a bow.  She is a ‘masterful horsewoman’, an ‘animal whisperer’ and she’s also very well educated. 

Your weaknesses need to balance all of that out, and so far two of your weaknesses are very similar (impatience and impulsive), and temptation isn’t much of a weakness.  Your social misanthropy is a pretty good one, but I don’t feel that it is quite enough.  You should elaborate more on the misanthropy.  Where does it stem from, how does she ‘get along’ when she’s forced to.  Ect.  Expand and deepen this weakness and I think you’ll be doing pretty well.

I, personally, would drop the quill and the sword and have her training be in the dagger instead.  It’s hidden and if she is good with it, she has no need for a sword.  That would go a long way to even out your strengths and weaknesses.

Last, but not least, you need to explain in your history how you got your familiars (and you need to give Amncin more detail!)

That's all i've got for now.  Good luck, and let us know if you have any questions or need any help!
« Last Edit: April 10, 2012, 01:43:08 AM by Tak » Logged


"There’s Nothing Worth Doing That Isn’t Worth Overdoing" - Tak "The Magnificent"
Aseia
The Roaming Rose
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Quaelhoirhim/Eyelian


« Reply #3 on: April 10, 2012, 11:32:14 AM »

Firstly, thank you so much for your kind welcome, I am eagerly looking forward to further participation on the site  :)

Secondly, thank you so much for your wonderful advice, I really have appreciated it and taken it on board whilst editing. I hate to be a bother, but I would kindly ask it of you to again, if of course you didn't mind, read over my CD at the places that you advised me to change. At each section that I have modified I have in blue the word (EDIT) so that it will be easier to find.

Just to some it up though, I did take your advice and dropped the quill and the sword. I admit I mustn't have researched the quill as well as I should have, I had no idea it was a weapon used by assassins *embarrassed*
I reworded the first two paragraphs of the personality description, dropping the "had no experience in public society" and hopefully have it more consistent and flowing now.
I added the dagger to her strengths, and into her history, but perhaps I should elaborate more about the dagger in her history?
I dropped the communication with animals in her strengths but will add the affinity with animals into her history perhaps, which might make the pet wolf seam a little more plausible.

Now, I could be reading your words in or around the wrong way perhaps, it would not be the first time I have made the mistake, but I am certain I had explained in my history how my character came to have her familiars and just in case I have (ATT) in orange marked at each of the sections. Do you mean that I need to add more detail to my explanations?

Unfortunately I have run out of time at the moment and have not yet addressed the problem with expanding her weaknesses, though I have modified it slightly, but I will get to it as soon as I can.

Again thank you for your time, your further advice on my modifications are most welcome!  :)

« Last Edit: April 10, 2012, 07:59:47 PM by Aseia » Logged

Aseia
The Roaming Rose
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Quaelhoirhim/Eyelian


« Reply #4 on: April 10, 2012, 11:36:52 AM »

Oh and yes I almost forgot, I will certainly give Amncin more detail.
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Alýr (Rayne)
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« Reply #5 on: April 10, 2012, 12:32:38 PM »

fare babe -> fair babe

"Avennián planted many rose bushes around their home and replaced a rose by her bed every morning." (I'm sure he loves his daughter very much, but somehow uprooting a rose push to put buy her bed each morning seems like overkill!)


With those things out of the way....!

You have a very interesting character here! This is clearly not your first character, and you've already mentioned the rarity of human-elf births. I will just further this by mentioning the rarity of human-elf love in the first place. It is extremely rare that an elf would fall in love with a human and vice verse. It is extremely rare they would reproduce together successfully. You do not have to change anything here; it suffices that your character's existence is rare.

However, your character is also extremely educated, an expert archer, an extraordinary woodcrafter, a superb horsewoman, and adept at a dagger. To be so accomplished is extremely rare--particularly at so young an age. 

And then there's a pet wolf and communication with animals. Now that's really pretty rare.

To have any briefer combination of these rarities would be understandable--extraordinary, but understandable. To have them all goes a bit overboard, particularly when your weaknesses aren't actually weaknesses, but personality traits. My recommendation would be to choose the few attributes you would like your character to have--she can't be good in everything--and go with those.

If you have any questions or if there's anything I can do to assist, please don't hesitate to let me know! Always happy to help!
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Aseia
The Roaming Rose
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Quaelhoirhim/Eyelian


« Reply #6 on: April 10, 2012, 07:52:52 PM »

Hello Alýr and thank you so much for your advice, it really is appreciated! :)

I fixed up that spelling error, something so small I can't believe I missed it. This is actually my first character, on the boards here anyway and structured out in such detail.

I do see what you mean with the overkill of the rose bush by the bed every morning, but it isn't a rose bush by her bed every morning, it's just a single rose that came from the rose bush, if I am making sense? I have reworded that sentence so it is more easily understandable, my mistake.

I have shortened down her strengths and reworded it only slightly as yet (dropping the communication with animals), but am endeavouring to complete it as soon as I can. Yes her weaknesses are disappointing, they need work as well.

Again, thank you kindly!  :)
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Alýr (Rayne)
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« Reply #7 on: April 11, 2012, 10:06:51 AM »

Your first character! Wow--you have done a very remarkable job for this being your first! You have clearly done a lot of research, and apart from the Santharian knowledge demonstrated here, you have a fluid and elegant writing style that is a pleasure to read.

The strengths looks good to me. I realize you are still working, and look forward to taking another look when you're ready--hopefully to give you first approval.  :)

Good work, Aseiá.  Thumb up
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Aseia
The Roaming Rose
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Quaelhoirhim/Eyelian


« Reply #8 on: April 11, 2012, 06:57:19 PM »

Oh gosh, I feel so incredibly honored, thank you so much!  :)

Now, I'm fairly confident that I have edited all the sections both yourself and Tak had instructed me on, I just hope I have improved them appropriately and correctly.

I really refined down her strengths and took her skill levels down quite a few notches. I took two of her weaknesses away as, as you had pointed out, they were personality traits, and added another two and hopefully now have that amended and fleshed out more suitably.
I also changed her pet wolf to a Wolfdog (or hybrid). I read in the Zeiphyrian Forests section that the Quaelhoirhim are one of the few wood elven tribes to keep domesticated dogs and that they also had been crossed with the wolves that wander the forest. So having made that change I hope my idea is a little more plausible as I really don't want to have to take him out.

Thank you once again for the compliments, you instruction has been wonderful.  :)
« Last Edit: April 11, 2012, 07:02:19 PM by Aseia » Logged

Irid alMenie
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« Reply #9 on: April 11, 2012, 11:36:07 PM »

Hey Aseia,

I have just one minor thing, which is that in your history you still talk about finding a wolf pup, maybe you could change that into the Wolfdog that you changed him to?

I'll give Alyr a chance to look over your changes but as far as I'm concerned you're good to go :)
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Irid al'Menie
Aseia
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Quaelhoirhim/Eyelian


« Reply #10 on: April 12, 2012, 10:14:35 AM »

Hello Irid,
I'm so grateful that you pointed that out to me and now have it corrected.
Thank you  :)
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Alýr (Rayne)
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« Reply #11 on: April 12, 2012, 01:38:09 PM »

I think this character looks well-developed and well-balanced. I approve!  :)

That's two approvals. Can someone who knows how to approve and archive do so? I am a terribly inept moderator.  Undecided
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Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin
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« Reply #12 on: April 12, 2012, 01:57:02 PM »

And Titled.  Congrats, Aseia'. :D
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Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin
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« Reply #13 on: April 22, 2012, 04:27:07 PM »

Brought up as requested.  :)
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"Ack!" - Bill the Cat
"I did not have sex with that woman, Monica Lewinski." - President Bill Clinton

My Character can be viewed @Angelina Jolie's house.  But knock first, in case I'm in my underwear.
Aseia
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Quaelhoirhim/Eyelian


« Reply #14 on: April 22, 2012, 04:49:19 PM »

And done, thank you Altario  :)
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