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Below is a summary on the posticons used for the character description approval process. The posticon of the first post should always be edited according to the current state of completion of the character description (either by the player, a Moderator or an Administrator).
1) PLAYER - CD is incomplete. Use this posticon if you have not finished your CD.  4) MODERATOR - CD has been approved by one moderator. A second mod's approval is needed.
 2) PLAYER - CD is completed. Use this if you have finished working on your CD.  5) MODERATOR - CD has been approved by two moderators. An Administrator should soon take care of the titling.
 3) MODERATOR - An expert's opinion is needed. The specific field in which the expert's help is needed should be added to the title.  6) ADMINISTRATOR - An administrator has titled the character, and the thread will soon be moved to the CD Archives.
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Author Topic: Hyldan Feramar/Quaelhoirhim/Traveling Mercenary and Odd Jobs  (Read 2762 times)
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Hyldan Feramar
New Santharian

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Posts: 2

« on: September 17, 2016, 02:03:48 PM »

Name: Hyldan Feramar

Gender: Male

Age: 230

Race: Elf

Tribe: Quaelhoirhim

Occupation: Traveling Freelance Mercenary/Odd Jobs

Title: Winged Elf

Overview: Hyldan is an elvish wind mage who uses a unique combination of magic and a one-of-a-kind cloak to fly. With this ability, he travels the continent of Sarvonia in search of new adventures and experiences.

Height: 1 ped, 2 fores, 2 palmspans, and 8 nailsbreadths

Weight: 1 pygge, 2 hebs, 1 hafeb, and 3 ods

Eye colour: Xazure

Hair colour: Cinnabrown

Physical Appearance: Hyldan is exceptionally skinny, even for an elf. He is built as a dancer, capable of feats of acrobatics while appearing weak and fragile. Every part of his body is lean but muscular, painstakingly kept perfectly suited to the use of his flight cloak.

   As for his face, of course he has the high cheekbones and sharply pointed ears characteristic of the Quaelhoirhim, but his most striking features are his piercing xazure eyes which usually seem to be staring off into the distance. This detached nature is represented in his mannerisms as well. He slouches commonly, even in formal situations, which tends to give those who don't know him very well the impression that he doesn't care about whatever subject is at hand.

Clothing: Every piece of Hyldan's wardrobe is specially created to optimize his flight. He wears a close-fitting shirt underneath a tight jacket. The jacket contains a multitude of various sizes of internal pockets, suitable for protecting everything from a wand to the day's lunch from falling during flight.

   Of course, none of these items are anywhere near as important as his cloak, which was designed with the sole intention of allowing him to fly. For that reason, it was necessary that it be crafted in a very particular way. When stretched taut, the cloak is an isosceles triangle with the longest side that is 5 peds and 9 nailsbreadths in length. The bottom point of the triangle is sewed to the legs of his pants, with a cut in the middle so he can walk unrestricted.

Additionally, his jacket contains large external pockets designed to store the excess cloak fabric when it's not in use. The longest side is held up by a pair of retractable metal poles strapped to his forearms which are 2 peds and 2 palmspans each when fully extended and can be retracted to just 2 fores. Additionally, the poles are spring loaded for easy access. (A quick note about spring loading: The first volute spring was invented by Leonardo da Vinci in 1493, so it could conceivably exist within the world of Santharia. I only mention it because it sounds like an advanced technology and I questioned its feasibility at first as well.)

Personality: Hyldan is, before anything else, a dreamer. Whether choosing which side of the world to visit next or how to take down a group of monsters, his overwhelming drive to do things in the most out-of-the-box way possible shines through. To him, an interesting and challenging job is its own reward. As far as he's concerned, he only needs enough money at any one time to eat until he finds another adventure to engage him. On the flip side, Hyldan has been known to turn down well-paying jobs solely because he thought they would bore him.

   Hyldan generally has a very positive view of life. He sees the world as being full of exciting opportunities just waiting to be found. Even when faced with great hardship, he makes it enjoyable for himself by imagining how incredible a story it well make when he's done and attempts to convince fellow party members to do the same, though it usually just comes off as irritating.

   Despite all that, Hyldan is pretty reliable when push comes to shove. He places high value on friendship and companionship and will fling himself full force into oncoming attackers if necessary. Though he isn't very capable in combat in the usual sense, his ingenuity usually pulls through for him, and causes most of those who have worked with him to value his judgement.


Wind Magic: The most obvious of Hyldan's strengths, he's become quite skilled at using it for certain purposes, most notably flight. He tends to focus on the physical aspects of the element and is quite unpracticed in using it for invisibility or other forms of deceit.

Unique flight cloak: Custom designed to his specifications, Hyldan uses his cloak with an enormously high skill level only obtainable through decades of practice. Despite its size, he regularly makes precise maneuvers that would be nigh on impossible for anyone else, even other wind mages.

Real-time problem solving: Hyldan has learned from experience how difficult it is to survive an adventure without any real combat skill. As a result, he's trained himself in manipulating every aspect of his environment to his advantage.

Knife throwing: Hyldan carries half a dozen throwing knives with him at all times. Though his skill with them isn't of a professional level by any stretch of the imagination, he's found that carrying around and knowing how to use a few small sharp weapons can be a real help in desperate situations.

Optimism: Hyldan is rarely disheartened by hardship, and is this often capable of holding together a crumbling party during tough times.


Lack of fighting talent: In a hand-to-hand fight, Hyldan has the approximate skill of an average 8 year old human. If he can be pinned down and stopped from running away, he's all but dead. As a result, he's forced to hide behind his teammates if cornered.

Cloak damage: Hyldan's cloak is rather thin, and as a result can be easily torn if struck by an arrow or other sharp projectile. If this happens, he can be sent into free fall, giving him minimal time to fix his situation and crippling him until he can find time to fix his cloak.

Underestimation of danger: Hyldan tends to see dangerous situations as opportunities to have an interesting experience first and an actual threat to his life second. This can get him into taking some unnecessary risks with his own life and the lives of others.

Magic: Though Hyldan wasn't trained at Ximax, he would be considered a level 2 mage by their standard. Additionally, as previously mentioned, he's only trained in the use of the physical aspects of wind magic, making him weaker in terms of raw power than a level 2 student of Ximax, though of course his mastery of the use of the parts of it that he does use makes up for this discrepancy in his training.
« Last Edit: September 24, 2016, 02:09:11 AM by Kareesh Valendar » Logged
Ryldor Gadriel
Miscreant Mage
Approved Character
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Gender: Male
Posts: 616

« Reply #1 on: September 18, 2016, 08:40:47 AM »

Hey Hyldan. I know it's incomplete, but one suggestion. You might want to bold and/or italicize the section headers. For example, it looks like your magic section is under weaknesses.

Look forward to reading the history.

It is not enough to conquer; one must learn to seduce.  ~  Voltaire
Oh dearest Ryldor, dust thou know thy charm?; The clever smile soft upon thy face; Seem like a promise for to do no harm; Whilst I, enjoying thy tender grace; Should gaze in admiration at thy eyes; As azure as where highest heaven lay; Reflections of the clearest, truest skies; They seem to melt my very heart away!; And if thy lovely words were not as true; As thine eyes blue, still I'd believe thy claim; Of magedom. Magic turned a rosy hue; My cheeks. A spell thou cast upon this dame!; Thou art a most capricious scoundrel, yet; The sweetest gentlemen I've ever met.; ~ Rayne Avalotus
Felsid Greytunnel
New Santharian

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Posts: 6

« Reply #2 on: September 19, 2016, 05:17:14 AM »

Greetings Hyldan! Welcome to the Dream, where I am sure you will fit in. You seem like the adventurous type  grin

Before we go any further, I'd like to mention that magic isn't suited for first-time characters, given its relative complexity. With that said, I reckon the final say would be up to a moderator or Artimidor. Maybe they'll make allowances given the current pace of the forum.

I don't have time to work through your CD piece by piece at the moment, but I will suggest you try and elaborate as much as you can on points such as personality, occupation and magic!

Lastly, have a look over at the development bored (where I lurk around mostly) if you're feeling inspired! Good luck
Wandering Woodsmen
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Gender: Male
Posts: 367

Human, Gondolwenmith

« Reply #3 on: September 19, 2016, 09:48:44 AM »

The only comment I have thus far is that it is actually very common for mages trained in the Xiamaxian school to only use either physical or emotional spells with their magic. They rarely do both, or at the very least they have hardly any skill in one or the other. So it is not a exactly a weakness or disadvantage. Other than that I really like what you have so far! Keep it up. :)

Aye, I've my fair share of scars. Perhaps a bit too many to be honest, decent sign of a careless man. But those don't bother me, they heal, and even if they don't heal right I've always found a way to deal with 'em. The ones I can see at least, the others...the ones inside. They aren't so easy to forget about, they don't heal like the others do. They might heal in a day, a week, a year. Or maybe some like mine, won't ever heal at all. There's no getting past these scars, you can't treat it, you can't cover it up, and you can't find a way around it. But, there comes a day, when you learn to live it, and you stop living in the past, so you can do what your able for the future.

Kareesh Valendar
Hatred's Fury
Story Mod
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 2220

Elf, Arthyron

« Reply #4 on: September 24, 2016, 02:08:47 AM »

*Pats dust off clothes, wiping away a few stray spiderwebs*

Hello! Sorry, been awhile since I've been around as a CD Mod, but welcome! I haven't had a chance to look over your character yet (oi, this is a crazy month), but one thing: make sure your icon is set to the correct thing. I'll change it to the pencil icon, but feel free to change it to the exclamation point when you're ready for people to look it over.

Again welcome, and I sincerely hope you enjoy your stay. :)

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