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Author Topic: Heir of the Ahrhim elves  (Read 7421 times)
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Arceon Barrurbeleth
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« on: 17 October 2006, 20:00:42 »

PROLOGUE

Windy evening consumed the Narfost plain while a sadly group of travellers ventured through it. The leader of this group was cloaked with a xazure blue cloak and hooded, while only his white beard jut from his
protection.

They stopped and made a small, fast built camp in the grass. Someone tried to lit the fire but it was to hard due to the wind. " Your Grothar is not merciful today with us.", said red-bearded dwarf with an battle-axe in his arms, "We should be careful, it's a sign."

"Calm down Raun, we will get it to Thalambath.", said that cloaked Shendar man straighting out his beard, "You worry to much. And yet, your beard isn't grey.", a smile passed over the man's face.

"Remember that time when those orcs ambushed us...", the dwarf gave time to Shendar to search his memory, "...remember I had the same filling I have now. Only this time the weather is against us too.", the dwarf took a whetstone out of his bag and started to whet his axe. "If a trouble is above us, I should be ready... and you should be to."

The wind departed almost as silently as it came and the fire in the camp happily burned spreading heat and light to those who surely needed their hug. Some of the men where encircled around the fire and some where sleeping peacefully in the tents. As the wind stopped, a small hardly noticed rain started to fall. As it became stronger it was heard almost on everything it touched: tents where moving insecurely under the wieght of heavy rain drops, plate-armour clinked slowly...Grothar wasn't merciful indeed. 
« Last Edit: 09 August 2007, 04:20:33 by Arceon Barrurbeleth » Logged

Mina
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« Reply #1 on: 17 October 2006, 20:13:26 »

You want to write a story about the death of the immortal queen of a tribe of probably-immortal and near-mythical beings?  And you want it to be the Bone Queen?  Bad idea.  You really should try for something much less ambuitious first.  And for that matter, have you asked Dalá about it? 
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Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels
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« Reply #2 on: 17 October 2006, 20:15:36 »

And Judy, if she thinks that a dwarf would try to do something at all. Must have been an extraordinairy dwarf . (Not that we don't have them)
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Arceon Barrurbeleth
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« Reply #3 on: 18 October 2006, 04:22:20 »

Do you think alter the Shadow Elves to some other race and alter the Bone Queen into another ruler will do the trick?
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Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels
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« Reply #4 on: 18 October 2006, 05:31:46 »

Principially yes, but you need a lot of knowledge of  Caelereth and history especially, which might not yet be written down properly. Do you think you can manage that already now? It is a difficult task which needs a lot of reading and research to make it fit to 'santharia and not rite any story.
Why don't you look for a tribe and ruler and elaborate a bit of your story, make a nice overview. I'm not entirely sure what you mean with this dwarf searches for the heir without knowing that he does..

Just lay out the structure, maybe we can say more afterwards.
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"For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path  that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel looking,  breathlessly. ~Don Juan"
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Arceon Barrurbeleth
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« Reply #5 on: 19 October 2006, 00:36:48 »

Of course I can manage that!

It is why I first joined The Dream, to research and find out more about this world and probably add things of my own to it.

Overview will be ready this week.
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Dala Valannia
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« Reply #6 on: 19 October 2006, 01:38:17 »

Uh, well, yes, I'll appreciate it if you leave the Bone Queen's demise to me since she is my created character and I do have plans for her (slow tho they might be in coming!) :P

But good luck on the overview!
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Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels
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« Reply #7 on: 19 October 2006, 03:47:45 »

Your enthusiasmus is refreshing, Arceon! II hope you will keep it for a long time!  :)
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"For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path  that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel looking,  breathlessly. ~Don Juan"
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Arceon Barrurbeleth
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« Reply #8 on: 22 October 2006, 21:19:13 »

My comments

Overview of the ''Heir of the Ahrhim elves''

The story of a Mithraim dwarf who is now a Gornegron of Tyr Mithurtil, a long time dwelling of his family, and his life after his fathers death. The wealth of their home is almost spent and other dwarfs want to move from the cave to another place in the mountains. After the journey, Rodrim meets Indeor (a Shendar [expecting Talia’s comment on this] mercenary on mission of escorting a trader to New Santhala) in Tyr Donion. Rodrim decides to return to his home with his faithful servant. In his dreams appear a mountain and a door, these things remind him of something but he can’t figure of what. Years later Indeor sends him a message of him being in Kor Mithrid. Rodrim goes to the Kor Mithrid and meets Indeor and tells him about his dreams. Then they both go to Yorick where Indeor has a Daran Gnome friend who can tell more about meaning of these dreams. The gnome tells that Rodrim’s dreams have a meaning and probably have to do something with finding the mountain from the dream. On his way back home he goes first to Nepris, where Indeor must meet his companions, then Rodrim understands that the mountain from the dream is actually the Grey Hood under which is Tyr Mithurtil, his home-cave. After reaching Tyr Mithurtil and his old house he finds his servant dead and his house abandoned. He searches awhile and finds a secret door, which is also an entrance to his father’s tomb made by Ahrhim elves. In the tomb he has a vision of his father telling him to find the Mist because the whole Manthria and even Santharia will be in danger if he doesn’t find it first [there will be a super-villain who tries to get the “Vial of the Mist”. Yes I will use my previous idea for entry here]. Later on Rodrim meets Indeor again and ventures with him to the ancient Shadow Elf empire. On their road there they meet Helvór the mystical Ahrhim elf [can you guess who will it be on the end] who helps them get the Vial from the ruins of Fá'áv'cál'âr where they confront the elf who calls him self Epthár and who wants to take control of all Santharia and from it make a new elven empire the Shén’ Cál’ Móh. Helvór fights him but looses and has to escape thus leaving time for Rodrim and Indeor to take the “Vial of the Mist” and flee with it to Tormac. They have to reach the Mithral Mountains again so they travel almost night and day occasionally being attacked by the Shadow Elves. The pursuit ends in the Ashmarian Lands. After reaching the Mithral mountains Indeor goes away again and Rodrim ventures to Almatar forest to find the connection between his father and the local elves. In the hamlet of Aesthran he meets Sarveon, a young wizard who agrees to help him in this task.

I think it is enough for the first part. It will consist of 5 to 8 chapters maybe more or maybe less. The title of the first part is “The Vial of the Mist”.
In the second there will be the reform of the Midnight Blade, which will be used by Epthár in killing of Ahrhim elves king. Rodrim will found out of his true heirloom and that the Vial is used to find a true heir to the throne of Ahrhim elves.

If you have any questions I will gladly answer them.

« Last Edit: 04 November 2006, 05:58:52 by Arceon » Logged

Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels
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« Reply #9 on: 23 October 2006, 17:04:26 »

You better bellring Judy, our dwarf-mistress.

A few things: I wouldn‘t call a Shendar a servant, even if he „serves“ you as a mercenary - he won‘t like it... otherwise I won‘t have objections. Be sure to know enough about the Shendar society when writing up your story.

I don‘t know, if gnomes can tell you something about dreams (does the entry tell so??), I would go to a priestess of Seyella or maybe a black butterfly rover band has a dreamteller with them.

„After reaching Tyr Mithurtil and his old house he finds his servant dead and his house abandoned“
You are talking of a dwarf, right? have you read the dwarven entries about housing etc?

„ He searches awhile and finds a secret door, which is also an entrance to his father’s tomb made by Ahrhim elves.“

I think you should go and read more about our dwarves (all you can find, if you want to write a story) , but especially the part with the dwarven funeral .

„Later on Rodrim meets Indeor again and ventures with him to the ancient Shadow Elf empire. „

I‘m not sure, if one can enter those realms at all today, I think at least a Shendar, brave as he might be, will need a VERY good reason to go there, it is so opposite to what he loves . (the desert) Even a very good payment might not convince him....

As I said, bellring Judy, she has not much time currently, but I think she is needed here.
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"For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path  that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel looking,  breathlessly. ~Don Juan"
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Dala Valannia
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« Reply #10 on: 23 October 2006, 19:12:10 »

And the stealing of the Vial seems really easy considering that your characters are venturing into a territory that is, by all accounts, filled with poisonous air, littered with treacherous swamps and bogs, patrolled by elves that can meld into the shadows on the walls, a confusing huge ruin, not to mention there's a mad Elf queen lurking around somewhere, lol. Even if there's a mystical Ahrhim elf lending a helping hand!

But since this is only an overview, I shall assume the whole Vial stealing episode will be a lot longer and more complicated when the story is written ;)

Actually it wouldn't be all surprising if the Bone Queen just gives the Vial to Rodrim on a whim without causing too much pain to his body buck She finds the dwarven race very amusing and has one or two as garden ornaments.
« Last Edit: 23 October 2006, 19:16:23 by Dala Valannia » Logged
Arceon Barrurbeleth
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« Reply #11 on: 24 October 2006, 01:22:32 »

@Talia: I don't call Shendar a servant. It is probably Rodrim's dwaren servant you think of.
This is just an overview with not much of research done.
The Shendar goes to the marshes as a friend, not as a mercenary.

@Dala: Of course there will be much longer part on taking of the Vial.
I planed that the Vial isn't in the possesion of the Bone Queen herself but hidden somewhere.

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Bard Judith
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« Reply #12 on: 11 November 2006, 02:15:43 »

"amusing"???   "GARDEN ORNAMENTS"???  (glares wickedly at Dala and begins to polish her warhammer....)
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Arceon Barrurbeleth
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« Reply #13 on: 11 November 2006, 17:35:40 »

So it is possible that a dwarf is so dedicated to his father?
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Miraran Tehuriden
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« Reply #14 on: 11 November 2006, 20:10:50 »

Ladies, ladies, please let's not escalate things.. Lord Vetinari erh.. i mean Artimidor would not be pleased...
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Avrah Kehabhra

"The whole POINT of Nybelmar is that no one has any idea whats going on, overly long entries keep it that way." - Decipher Ziron
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