Santharian Development

Santharian World Development => The Santharian Bestiary => Topic started by: Kalína Dalá'isyrás on 29 December 2009, 14:19:28



Title: The Drake Overview
Post by: Kalína Dalá'isyrás on 29 December 2009, 14:19:28
I am going to create an overview for each of the categories, so the Dragons/Drakes/Nethers/Dracoids can be listed within it for a small description/overview of each one. In other words, putting the categorisation I did, to work!



Unlike their ancient cousins, Drakes are much more of a commonality in Santharia and are considered to be beasts in the Draconic family. They come in two varieties: Wyverns or Worms. Each retain some physical aspects their larger and more powerful counterparts, but they lack the speech, power, and literacy which give the Dragons ultimate superiority. The kinship they feel with the Dragons, is reflected in the willingness to do their bidding, rarely acting in defiance against their wishes.

    * The Wyverns
      Wyverns are drakes that live on land. They usually have a great amount of flying skill. The term "Wyvern" is also often used for denoting this type of drake solely, though this usage is not fully correct following the categorization principles of the dragon researcher Homloth. Homloth lived in the second century b.S. and his works still serve as the main resource for dragon descriptions.

    * The Worms (Serpents)
      Worms are more serpent-shaped than Drakes and usually prefer water. They also generally have shorter to no limbs, making it easier for them to glide through the water.


Following is a list of all the Drakes known in the lands of Caelereth, sorted alphabetically:

I. The Wyverns

DEMON DRAKE, THE
Named for its ghastly appearance and aggressive behaviour, the Demon Drake is a force to be reckoned with. It is one of the smaller drakes, reaching lengths of only six peds from snout to tail. Unlike other drakes, its snout looks as if it is scrunched flat against its face. Its eyes range from inky black to a disgusting brown colour. Large awkward scales cover the drake's body. The drake is coloured in a combination of blacks, browns, and greys of various shades. It is truly not a pleasant sight to behold. Despite its ferocious nature, it is a tamable creature to those daring enough to take on the challenge. Used mostly as mounts, many find themselves drawn to this fascinating creature because of their appearance and dog-like companionship when trained. Though they have wings, they are not fond of using them when domesticated and will rarely take to the skies when mounted. Because of their temperament and nature, their lifespan is far from impressive. Generally, most never see past the age of 20, if they are lucky. Yet, some have managed to reach the ripe age of 50, dying of natural causes.

DESERT DRAKE, THE
A flightless creature which makes its home in the deserts of Caelereth, it joins the ranks of the odd-looking drakes. It is not an overly large drake, only reaching  three to four peds from snout to tail depending on gender. Instead of wings, it was graced with an extra set of legs which it uses like hands and to move quickly across the burning surfaces of the desert. Its snout is long, wide, and flat, making it easy to burrow in the sands of its home. A long tail follows it around like a shadow, providing it with balance as it skitters across the ground. Small smooth scales cover the entirety of its body, each being about the same as the next and coloured to match the multitude of tiny grains. These drakes are very territorial, and will scuffle over rocks and sand mounds. They are also not above eating their young if the need for food is great. As it is near the top of the food chain in the deserts, it has few predators beyond other drakes and dragons. This status gives this creature a decent lifespan of a couple hundred years, though this is variable to food source and other encounters.

DOOM DRAKE, THE
Being one of the rarest drakes in Caelereth due to their habitat and reclusive nature, the Doom Drake is shrouded in mystery and myth. They call fresh water lakes home, living in the dark depths and feeding off of large prey found at such levels. They are also fond of human flesh, and blood, making their way to the surface at the sound of a large enough splash. Because of their likeness for the blood, they will sometimes leave the rest of the body alone, leaving only a puncture wound at the neck. They are one of the largest drakes, reaching lengths of 12 to 13 peds, adding to their threatening demeanour. Gills grace each side of its head, allowing it to live exclusively under water, if it chooses. They also have lungs which allow them to live above the surface for short periods of time and travel between lakes in search of food or a mate. Tiny black scales cover their body in a silky sheen. The scales, when seen up close, resemble fish scales. Despite being small, the scales retain their natural strength and are difficult to pierce through. Their claws also have webbing between each toe, making them expert swimmers. Because of their reclusive nature and chosen habitat, their lifespan is an impressive 500 years, making them one of the longest living drakes.

FEATHERED DRAKE, THE
Illustration (http://stuff.santharia.com/sheil/45.jpg) - To be added to the entry
One of the smallest drakes, the Feathered Drake is unique to the fact it is covered in pure white feathers instead of scales. They only reach lengths of a mere two to three peds. The feathers which cover its body are very fine, used to help keep it warm in the coldest of places. The wings are like that of a bird, white with black tips. Long black horns jut out from the back of his head, somewhat traditional to the draconic appearance. Because of their ability to withstand severe cold, much like the Frost Drake, they make their nests in the far north in the Icelands, as well as the snow-covered peaks throughout the world. It is not uncommon to find several living together for company, as they find companionship an important aspect of their survival. They are very mellow creatures, making them easy to domesticate as pets or familiars. Only able to live in the colder climate, as they are prone to over heating in the warmer parts of the world. They aren't the longest living drakes, but they are given a 200 year life expectancy.

FROST DRAKE, THE
Frost Drakes are one of the most feral predators in Caelereth's coldest regions. They are found in various mountain ranges, most notably the Tandalas and Cyhalloi's northern peaks. They vary anywhere from eight to ten peds in length, being able to use their size and strength when hunting their prey. Their scales come in a variety of light blues and whites. Because of this colouration, they are easily camouflaged in their natural habitat. A fine transparent fur covers their plated scales. This fur helps to trap escaping body heat, keeping the drakes warm in frigged temperatures. A diet of livestock and Feathered Drakes can keep the Frost Drake full for several months at a time. A lifespan of 100 years is a generous number for these dwindling creatures, as most will die of starvation or to each other before they reach such a ripe old age.

GALE DRAKE, THE
Gale Drakes are creatures of amazing strength. Over the centuries, they have been tamed and trained to use their strength to help load and unload ships in various seaports such as Quel'tra'loh. In the wild, they are most often seen flying in the windy coastline skies, soaring to great lengths. Because of their domestication, they seem to have become very temperamental creatures, changing moods often. They also are prone to stubbornness streaks, in which they refuse to do anything they are told. In the wild, they tend to have a more laid back temperament, going with the flow of what is brought to them. Blue-grey scales cover their bodies in a nearly seamless plated structure. Their eyes constantly change colour depending on their moods; from blue, grey, green, and even the occasional gold. Gale Drakes are one of the larger drakes, being about eight peds fully grown. They are also one of the few vegetarian drakes in existence. Their expected lifespan is about 80 years in captivity, because of their diet and domestication. In the wild, it is believed they can live for well over 200 years.

HORNED DRAKE, THE
Though it is one of the more common drakes found in mountainous regions, the Horned Drake is still a sight to behold with its massive horns jutting up from various body parts. These horns serve a special purpose of camouflage for the drakes, helping them hide in their natural rocky habitat. They can be found hiding in the crevasses in just about every mountain range in Caelereth. Uncommonly strong, the Horned Drake is capable of picking up and moving boulders around to create nests and tunnels. These unique creatures are about eight to nine peds in length, and have a bulky body from several layers of muscles. Using its tail, it can shatter boulders with one to several good strong swings. Their diet consists of goats, deer, and large birds which frequent the mountainous regions. Sometimes, they feast on other drakes, but this is not a common occurrence. The Horned Drake, because of their status at the top of the food chain, can live a healthy 400 years with ease, some living even longer.

LIGHTNING DRAKE, THE
A drake of the mountains, lightning drakes are known for their ability to produce lightning currents. While they are usually contained to their personal territories during fair weather, they become fiercely active in lightning storms. During these storms, they replenish their lightning capacities and engage in violent battles in dominance for mating rights. They are considered to be the second largest drake in Caelereth, being 10 to 12 peds from snout to tail. Their silvery-purple scales are large, and are treasured by those who find them. Their diet consists of just about anything they can consume. Yet, they find larger game more to their liking than rodents and snakes which will pass by their territory. Because of their violent nature, these creatures rarely seem to live very long, as the estimated lifespan is about 50 years, but there have been rare cases where one has been known to live up to 100 years. While they are technically classified as a drake, many refer to the creature as a lightning dragon.

MIST DRAKE, THE
The Mist Drake is a fascinating creature. Generally making their appearances near the sea, these creatures enjoy the heavy moisture which often afflicts the coastline. Most common during a heavy fog, the drake blends in well with its smoky colouration. When they pass through a fog or clouds, their scales will glimmer from the moisture they collect along the way. Elusive and shy creatures, very little is known about them. It is approximated they are about 10 to 11 peds in length, at least from what researchers have been able to tell from shadows. They are also very graceful flyers, able to hover in mid-air and glide for great distances by riding the wind. Their diet is unknown, as researchers were never able to watch them feed, and they speculate these creatures are actually vegetarians, as their temperament seemed to be fairly mellow. It estimated they live a good several hundred years, but this is far from being confirmed.

NORRAK, THE
The Norrack is solid black drake which lives mainly around the Norong‘Sorno volcano and in the Lands of Pain. It is considered by many, one of the most beautiful of all the drakes, as its scales are a pearl black, glimmering in the desert sun. They are also amongst some of the smallest drakes in Caelereth, reaching lengths of a mere three to four peds. Unlike many of their cousins, they are quite possibly the most intelligent of all the drakes, being sly in their actions and supposed thought patterns. Because of this intelligence, they are often kept as mounts or familiars. Though sometimes used for several purposes, their masters are always glad if they get rid of them after some time, as they get restless and unusually aggressive. Because they are kept in captivity for a good deal of time, their lifespan is known to be drastically cut in half in return. Living only a couple hundred years in the wild, they are known to only live about 80 to 100 years after domestication. Their name derives from the abbreviation of Norsidian (black) Drakes, which formed to Nor-drak and later resulted in Norrak.

SPIKED DRAKE, THE
Recognised as one of the most common drakes in Caelereth, the Spiked Drake is easily identified by its named characteristic. Instead of scales, a layer of long sharp spikes cover the drake from head to tail. They use the spikes to impale their enemies, luring them close then releasing several prongs into the unsuspecting creature. These prongs, being anywhere from a ped to two peds in length, are of a brownish-green colour, helping them blend in with their surroundings and making the drakes look like small mounds with tall grass. Unlike other drakes, the Spiked Drake's tail is rounded and flat, helping to balance it as it hobbles along the ground. Much like that of the Desert Drake, the Spiked Drake is wingless, forced to travel awkwardly on foot. They are not directly useful to the races, but they are hunted for their spikes. Because they are hunted, very few live to die of natural causes, believed to be around 300 years. Despite being found all over Caelereth, there is a good concentration in the Tandala Highlands in Santharia and various plains in Nybelmar.

II. The Worms

ANCYTHRIAN BLADESERPENT, THE
The Ancythrian Bladed Serpent (or simply "Bladeserpent") is a large sea-snake living in the depths of the Ancythrian Sea. About nine to ten peds in length, and purportedly two to three peds in diameter, they are creatures of intense proportions. The serpents received their name from a blade which is attached to its head and tail, lending to its fierce look and danger. The beast's existence had been doubted for a long time, and it was generally assumed that the tales of the serpents were only myths, created by weary sailors. It wasn't until the discovery of its giant eggshells floating inland from the sea, did the most dubious researchers appear convinced of their existence. Since then, many have attempted to gain more information about these dangerous creatures. They are severely territorial creatures, prone to attack anything which may cross its space, including others of its kind. Nothing concrete has been predicted for their lifespan, but it is roughly estimated they live anywhere from 400 to 600 years, a ripe age for drakes.

HYDRAGON WYRM, THE
The Hydragon (pronounced HIGH-drah-gon) is a rare but dangerous water monster, which frequents fresh-water lakes and rivers in Northern Sarvonia and Nybelmar though the occasional specimen has been located as well in the Rayne and the Teiphra rivers just south of the Tandala Mountains. It is also known as “Ergvaz’mur” (Kugliz'seitre, lit. “Three Heads”) and to the elves as the "Coór-Raház" (Styrásh, "Snake of Coór"). There is believed to be also a variety in Nybelmar known as the Bala'Ur, which is reportedly monstrous in size, but no proofs of the latter are available. Many people think the Hydragon to be completely mythical, but the Northerners know better and most peoples, from the Celeste Lowlands to Barsalon, can show the curious a shed skin, or the “beak fang”, or a preserved specimen of some sort. The creature is a bitter enemy of the Doom Drake, as they fight over their territory frequently, but the Hydragon seems to prefer rivers to lakes because of these often dangerous encounters. Being the smaller of the two aquatic creatures, the Hydragon is only about 11 peds fully grown, and lacks many of the helpful characteristics which the Doom Drakes possess. The Hydragon does not have gills, making them surface occasionally to refill their lungs with fresh air. They are also wingless. This makes it difficult for them to travel between bodies of water, which is why they have a preference for rivers. They also live a couple hundred years shorter than the doom drake, as there are more predators in the rivers. They have territorial battles between one another as well. Despite their rarity, and the disbelief they actually exist, they live and thrive beneath the water's surface.



Title: Re: The Lesser Drake Overview (WIP)
Post by: Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels on 02 January 2010, 20:10:49
Kalina, I couldn't find the overview I've done already and need some more time to search for it or rewrite it. Sorry! I fear it will not have time to do it in the next few days, but after the 6th all is back to normal. (Means, I have again full access to me comp and no grandson around either ;) )


Title: Re: The Lesser Drake Overview (WIP)
Post by: Kalína Dalá'isyrás on 03 January 2010, 03:06:57
I am in no hurry, Talia! I am planning on tackling these one at a time, and still need to finish a final edit of the Dracoids first :) Take your time!


Title: Re: The Lesser Drake Overview (WIP)
Post by: Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels on 15 January 2010, 23:56:17
Found it!  

Is that enough, or should I add some more description of their appearance?


The Norraks, fairly small, norsidian black drakes living mainly around the Norong‘Sorno volcano and in the Lands of Pain, are most possibly the most beautiful little drakes around -  and the meanest and greediest as well. For unlike other cousins of the draken kind, they are quite intelligent, some swear they are even sentient. Though sometimes used for several purposes, their masters are always glad if they get rid of them after some time. Their name derives from the abbreviation of Norsidian (black) Drakes, which formed to Nor-drak and later resulted in Norrak.


Title: Re: The Lesser Drake Overview (WIP)
Post by: Kalína Dalá'isyrás on 16 January 2010, 00:16:25
That should be perfect, Talia! Thank you very much :D


Title: Re: The Drake Overview (WIP)
Post by: Kalína Dalá'isyrás on 31 July 2010, 01:38:21
Ok. I have several "completed" drake overviews. I have been doing my best in making each unique and a standout on their own.

Any thoughts on what has been completed or any suggestions for any others you guys would like to see take shape?


Title: Re: The Drake Overview (WIP)
Post by: Seeker on 31 July 2010, 02:02:05
So in the Wyverns sections we have a Horned Dragon and the Horned Drake.  Are these going to be merged or are they going to remain separate?

And also remind us, are the drakes such as Blue drake, gold drake, etc going to renamed to be "dragons"?


Title: Re: The Drake Overview (WIP)
Post by: Azhira Styralias on 31 July 2010, 02:02:18
I think this looks great, Kali! It's wonderful to see you back at this again.  :thumbup:

AURA +1


Title: Re: The Drake Overview (WIP)
Post by: Kalína Dalá'isyrás on 31 July 2010, 02:06:18
@Seeker: They will be merged into one, a Drake. And yes, Seeker. The Chromatics will renamed and rewritten as Dragons. Switching around the cards a bit. :)

@Azhira: Thanks!  :loveeyes:


Title: Re: The Drake Overview (WIP)
Post by: Kalína Dalá'isyrás on 05 August 2010, 03:22:18
I'm down to my last two drakes. If there is any feedback to be had, I can work on the integrations tonight with the rest of the creatures. My hope is to have this in the next update!

Rush rush!  :evil:


Title: Re: The Drake Overview (WIP)
Post by: Artimidor Federkiel on 05 August 2010, 04:25:59
So this overview will replace the overview we currently have below "Drakes" in the menu, the entry which currently still has the "Lesser Drakes" title.

There are still a bunch of things a bit unclear/to fix:

- The line

Quote
Following is a list of all the Lesser Drakes known in the lands of Caelereth, sorted alphabetically:

should be adjusted to "all the Drakes", because we want to get rid of the "Lesser Drakes" expression.

- Comparing the current menu with the overview I notice that the menu has the "Feathered Wyvern", which isn't mentioned here. Yet you have the "Feathered Drake". Are they meant to be one and the same? There also seems to exist a picture we could use here, but I don't know if iz's meant to go with the entry. If not, what's the difference between the dragons? If they are meant o be different, they should have more distinct names.

- As Seeker mentioned, there are two entries in the current menus with a similar topic, the "Horned Drake" and the "Horned Dragon". Should the dragon not go under "Dragons" and the drake remain under "Drakes"?


Title: Re: The Drake Overview (WIP)
Post by: Kalína Dalá'isyrás on 05 August 2010, 04:37:44
So this overview will replace the overview we currently have below "Drakes" in the menu, the entry which currently still has the "Lesser Drakes" title.

There are still a bunch of things a bit unclear/to fix:

- The line

should be adjusted to "all the Drakes", because we want to get rid of the "Lesser Drakes" expression.

Simply an oversight. I will change that.

- Comparing the current menu with the overview I notice that the menu has the "Feathered Wyvern", which isn't mentioned here. Yet you have the "Feathered Drake". Are they meant to be one and the same? There also seems to exist a picture we could use here, but I don't know if iz's meant to go with the entry. If not, what's the difference between the dragons? If they are meant o be different, they should have more distinct names.

If you notice at the very top, I say "Wyverns". The term is somewhat interchangeable because of this. I am trying to keep your general categorisation, which seems to be confusing us both at this point. Feathered Drake, is the same as a Feathered Wyvern. They are categorised the same.

I am not really sure what you meant by the last part of your paragraph. The difference between Drakes and Dragons has already been discussed, and will become more evident with the completion of the Dragon Overviews and well as the overall overview. Since I was on hiatus for awhile, trying to start small and work my way back into things abit, so sorry for going in a strange order on these things.

- As Seeker mentioned, there are two entries in the current menus with a similar topic, the "Horned Drake" and the "Horned Dragon". Should the dragon not go under "Dragons" and the drake remain under "Drakes"?

I am actually combining the two. So, it will just be a Horned Drake, and no Dragon. Again, with the categorisation, it should be referenced there, as much of this was explained in that thread and entry.

I had difficulty with the Horned Drake, so I had written a new Drake, the Spiked Drake thinking it would take its place, but I will work on the actual Horned Drake later tonight with better luck hopefully.

I'm sorry if I didn't thoroughly answer your questions, some of them confused me a bit.

EDIT: An aura +1 for taking the time to read my ramblings.


Title: Re: The Drake Overview (WIP)
Post by: Artimidor Federkiel on 05 August 2010, 04:46:19
- Well, if a Feathered Wyvern is identical with a Feathered Drake, but it's better to call it "Wyvern", then we should change the in the menu as well. And in the entry. Plus the picture we have should then be integrated at this already existing entry.

- As for the Horned Drake/Dragon: Well, we have actually two entries here at the moment, not only short paragraphs to go with the overview. Even two different pictures... Both entries are definitely referenced multiple times throughout the site. Eliminating one of them would cause problems.


Title: Re: The Drake Overview (WIP)
Post by: Kalína Dalá'isyrás on 05 August 2010, 04:56:36
- Well, if a Feathered Wyvern is identical with a Feathered Drake, but it's better to call it "Wyvern", then we should change the in the menu as well. And in the entry. Plus the picture we have should then be integrated at this already existing entry.

The idea with me going and doing all of the work I am, is the hope to help streamline much of the information which has been written, which will include altering some entries to help with streamlining this information. Much of what is in the overviews already, won't take a lot of work to alter in the entries themselves. Something which I can work on after this is completed. I did purposely change some of the drakes to give them more...interesting characteristics and individual differences so they weren't all the same with different colours and personalities.

If this is too much, I can stick closer to some of the entries (which exist), but I would rather try and really start from scratch with some of these to help make the streamlining a bit smoother and simpler (in my mind). I am not purposefully trying to cause problems (though they seem to be following me).

- As for the Horned Drake/Dragon: Well, we have actually two entries here at the moment, not only short paragraphs to go with the overview. Even two different pictures... Both entries are definitely referenced multiple times throughout the site. Eliminating one of them would cause problems.

Valid point. Since it seems dead set this would be too much of a challenge, I will try and alter my plans and categorisation to fit this problematic set of creatures.


Title: Re: The Drake Overview (WIP)
Post by: Artimidor Federkiel on 05 August 2010, 05:01:19
No problem with making the overviews more thorough than some of the entry overviews :) Eventually some of the entries then need updating as well sooner or later to have all the essential information there as well, but that's something for later, yup!  :cool:


Title: Re: The Drake Overview
Post by: Kalína Dalá'isyrás on 06 August 2010, 15:49:35
Ok. I have completed my overviews, and they are ready to be torn apart. (But don't be too harsh)


Title: Re: The Drake Overview
Post by: Drasil Razorfang on 07 August 2010, 07:27:53
GAHHH!!!!

I just went to go post my comments and they all disappeared.  I need to go take my sister to her friend's house now, but I'll go back through and re-post them all when I get home.   :(



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It is one of the smaller drakes, reaching lengths of only six peds from snout to tail.

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Unlike other drakes, its snout looks as if it was scrunched flat against its face.

You switched tenses here.  Please stick with the present tense.

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Large awkward scales cover its body, all coloured in a combination of blacks, browns, and greys of various shades.

I'm confused by this sentence.  Is each individual scale a combination of colors or is the beast as a whole?

Also, as an overall note for the overview, you use the phrases "it is" and "its" quite frequently (as in to start the independent clauses of almost every sentence).  Would you mind varying this up?

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It is not an overly large drake, only reaching four peds from snout to tail depending on gender.

You don't provide a range here for gender to vary depending upon.

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A long tail follows it around like a shadow, giving it balance as it skitters across the ground.

Giving seems like an awkward word choice here to me.  Perhaps 'providing it with' or something like that would work better?

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As it is near the top of the food chain in the deserts, it has few predators beyond other drakes and dragons, giving this creature a decent lifespan of a couple hundred years, though this is variable to food source and other encounters.

This is hypocritical coming from me, the king of ridiculously long sentences, but I think this would flow better if you broke it into two sentences.  Its a bit hard to follow since its so long.

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The scales, when seen up close, resemble that of fish scales.

I believe this should either read "The scales, when seen up close resemble those(since the subject is plural) of a fish" or "The scales, when seen up close, resemble fish scales."  Personally, I prefer the first option of these two, but its up to you which to use.

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Among one of the smallest drakes, the Feathered Drake is unique to the fact it is covered in pure white feathers instead of scales.

I believe this should be "among the smallest drakes" or "one of the smallest drakes".

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making them the smallest drakes in Caelereth.

Please avoid superlatives.

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They are found in various mountain ranges, but more notably the Tandalas and Cyhalloi's northern peaks.

I think the more here should be most.  Also, I'm pretty sure you don't need the but either.

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They vary anywhere from eight to ten peds in length, being able to use their size and strength when hunting, making them a formidable foe from both land and air.

This sentence is a bit awkward.

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, changing moves often

I believe this should be moods.

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Blue-grey scales cover their bodies in a nearly seamless plating structure.

This should be plated not plating.

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Be it cause of their diet, or their domestication, their expected lifespan is about 80 years in captivity.

Please avoid using the passive voice.  Also, cause here should be the result (since their life expectancy is the result of factors a, b and c).

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While, in the wild, it is believed they can live well over 200 years.

This sentence is a fragment if you leave the commas in around "in the wild".  It should either be elaborated upon to make it a full sentence, or you could remove the commas.

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They can be found in just about every mountain range in Caelereth, hiding in the crevasses.

I think this sentence would read more fluidly if it were changed to "They can be found hiding in the crevasses of just about every mountain range in Caelereth."

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LIGHTNING DRAKE, THE

I L-O-V-E this drake as you described it.   :thumbup:  I want one!

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The Norrack is solid black drake living mainly around the Norong‘Sorno volcano and in the Lands of Pain.

I think this should be "that lives" instead of living

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It is considered by many, one of the most beautiful of all the drakes, as its scales are a pearl black, glimmering in the desert sun.

I think you need a 'to be' instead of a comma between the first two clauses.

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Recognised as the most common drake in Caelereth, the Spiked Drake is easily identified by its named characteristic.

Superlative

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Instead of scales, a layer of long sharp spikes cover the drake from head to tail. They use the spikes to impale their enemies, luring them close then releasing several prongs into the unsuspecting creature.

You used my porcupine idea!   :thumbup:  Brownie points for Kalina.

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It wasn't until the discovery of its giant eggshells floating inland from the sea, did the most dubious researchers appear convinced of its existence.

I think "that" instead of "did" would make the sentence flow better here.

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Since then, many have attempted to gain more information about these dangerous creatures.

This is inconsistent with the first half of the overview where you make it sound like there is only one of these beasts around.

Quote
They also live a couple hundred years shorter than the doom drake, as there are more predators in the rivers which they have territorial battles as well.

Something is off the second part of this sentence.  I think your "which" is modifying the wrong word.

All in all this is a very solidly put together entry.  Your content is superb.  Almost all of my comments are stylistic nit-picks to help make the writing flow a bit better when read.  They should be rather easy to address so if you get around to integrating them quickly, I'll blarrow you and you should be able to make it into the next update. 


Title: Re: The Drake Overview
Post by: Kalína Dalá'isyrás on 07 August 2010, 09:34:33
I will make the changes asap after work! Thanks Drasil. I tried cleaning it up before you got to it.


Title: Re: The Drake Overview
Post by: Kalína Dalá'isyrás on 07 August 2010, 14:26:33
All edits completed! I made a few changes myself as I saw them. Boy, was I sloppy. But that is what I get when I try and rush things.... ~blushes~


Title: Re: The Drake Overview
Post by: Drasil Razorfang on 08 August 2010, 01:01:13
Blarrowed.


Title: Re: The Drake Overview
Post by: Kalína Dalá'isyrás on 08 August 2010, 03:56:19
Thank you, Drasil! :heart: