I didn't get far (including Seller's Quater'), found one typo
New-Santhala is formally divided into a number of districts, each uniquely identifiable, with their own traditions and quirks. Whilst they’re not all officially designated, for example the Rafters is classified simply as a residential zone included under the jurisdiction of the Mayor of the Banner Districts, any New-Santhalan knows that the Rafters is a very different place to the rest of the Banner Districts. Each officially recognized district is administrated by an aappointed Mayor - or Lord Mayor for the Blue Towers, Parish and the Purple Fold districts - and an assembly of Councillors that are sourced from figures of local repute, who are invited to assembly by the Mayor. Other administrative offices are mentioned under the Government & Organisation section. The districts are as follows:
Otherwise, two words which I don't know, if you should use, both in Seller's Quater
Industry and chemical
You are writing as an contemporean person, so would you use the word industry? Isn't it too modern. As a non native speaker I don't know.
Chemical surely not, we only have 'alchemy' but you just need to find some words around the process, which of course did happen
I might look at what you write now and then, just of of curiosity. But I'm not necessarily a big help, for I have forgotten most of the things I once knew. I've read the description (only) and it looks good, I like the way you write. The only word I stumble over is 'byzantine'. It refers to an earthen town, but then, maybe it is meanwhile just a mere adjective .
Seagazer, I'm sorry you are working fairly alone here, that is really a pitty. I wished I had known you while I have been active.
There are many reasons why the Dream is slowing down, but one is surely that Artimdor misses often/sometimes .. is sensitiveness the word, or empathy? I don't think he does it on purpose.
Example? Shabakuk is coming back after a long time. The email notification lures me to the thread. And Coren too I supose.
Whom does he greet? Just Shaba, for Coren and I had quarrels with him in the past. Not a single "Hey, Talia, Coren, nice to see you too.." or something like this. Why should I spend my time on a site, where I'm not welcome? I miss Shaba, Coren, Altario and many others very much, but not so much that I will risk again getting hurt. I'm sorry.
I need to read it more thoroughly the next days, I have just two remarks right now
- Women - any distinction? - you write, that they look like normal people. And though they value more the spiritual virtues I wonder if they not attach great importance to the look of the body, if not people who look good and are beautiful are more revered than 'normal' looking ones. What if a member (or god) looses an arm or gets blind? Of course they will die, but what if there is a very ugly illness?
Looks good so far. I have some notes/ideas somewhere about the common history, had planned a kind of wounded knee for the Darians, but I have to look for it, which is difficult right now. I've got a new computer (yeah!) and I'm in the progress of moving data.. and reorganising my chaos.... As soon as I find some time I tell you more. But go ahead!
No problem, Art, but as this burning stone issue is easily to solve I thought it's better it is correct... if any other magic is a bit off - there are only a few people who would see that and I'm not one of them
There is a problem there with the Burning Stones chips. I think it is not possible for Stuff to grind them in the mortar, they would go off when hit - or in the case of Black Stones, they wouldn't go off when falling down . Look here: http://www.santharia.com/resources/burning_stones.htm
I propose, that he mixes his two components and when finished, he turns over a bowl with chips of the lighter stuff (Light Stones) - which fall just a few handspans (this way not going off). When he throws the whole stuff from a high shelf on the cat, it may ignite. He can carefully mix it up though.
is that it is already established in the Maces Overview entry
As the paragraph in the overview is a kind of placeholder, it would not be a problem to change the name in the overview also. I don't think that Ruil or Seeker would have a problem with that.
I'm not much in weapons, so I can't comment on the weapon itself.
Two suggestion though:
Choose another name, not the earthen one (Morningstar - As far as I know, the name derives from Venus, as this planet is the celestial body which sparkles most and is the brightest, the spiky appearance might have helped - we don't have it. Ava's Tears don't fit...). Santharize it.
What about: Foiros' Wrath? Injèrá's Ire? Something along this line?
I think it would be cool, to link the creation of the weapon to a distant historical or mythical event, maybe a time of need where the priest/smith prayed to Foiros and the god answered with the dream. Perhaps make it vague and just say, the priest lived in northern Santharia and invented the weapon during one of the times when the orcs and darkfriends came down from the Tandalas and threatend human culture.
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