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16  Santharian World Development / The Santharian Bestiary / Re: the GulletCramp Butterfly on: 23 November 2015, 14:42:41
Yes, sir!
17  Santharian World Development / The Santharian Bestiary / Re: Folihydra on: 22 November 2015, 18:09:16
That is a splendid idea, Coren! And I very well shall- teehee, right after I finish this comment. I can only do little snippets of it at a time as I am at work buck and should not be on here. *Giggles and rolls her eyes.*
18  Santharian World Development / The Santharian Bestiary / Re: Folihydra on: 22 November 2015, 17:08:12
Okay, I know that this post is pretty old... But I love this creature, with all of my little butterflutter heart... And I fully intend on making an adorable moth that lives on it, like pilot fish to a whale. So, please, for the love of Qu'prur... I hope this awesome devver comes back to help breathe life back into the boards.

Comments, suggestions and corrections shall be made lovely in Lime!

This is what happens when Nature feels the urge of being<"to be" cruel, when the Gods decide that a touch of insanity is what this world needs. This hellish spawn is hard to classify, for it looks like a gigantic vine with all of its humongous tendrils converging into a single body, but it moves, breathes, and feeds like the most terrible beasts that walk the lands of Sarvonia.<this is a little bit of a run-on. Try to break it up into two sentences if you can, or maybe just a cleverly placed semicolon is all you need.

This humongous creation seems to be the size of a small mountain and extends with roots and vines like tentacles for large, dense forest areas. This creature is as much an animal as it is a plant, it is completely green, from it's stalk and head, to the very last nailsbreath of its tendrils, covered in what feels like the intermediate point between moss and fur.<another run-on sentence.

The head is similar to that of a whale, however the Folihydra has teeth, at the very least<at the very least? But you just stated that it does, in fact, have teeth. Instead, I would suggest ending the sentence at the comma after "teeth", and continuing on with the next sentence to describe the teeth. a row of sharp, white, stone-like teeth which we presume are used to devour and crush large prey such as deer and perhaps even bear. It has no discernible eyes, however the fact that it can accurately tell where to strike to catch its prey suggests that it has some way to tell where it is moving to.<"suggests that is has some method of sensing its surrounds which simply has not been discovered yet."? Just a suggestion, as it would not only need to see where its moving but also where its prey is as well.

Note::  In the next section, you say that the Folihydra is oft mistaken for a huge rock, but in the Appearance section it sounds more as if it is more readily mistaken for a large bush or mass of vines. With both sections combined, I am thinking that the creatures large head is what looks like a rock, and it's body (the tentacles with which is manuvuers about and Qu'prur-knows-what-else its body consists of) is what looks like large vines snaking out into the forest. However, this is not clearly stated in the appearance section. Perhaps you could define the color of its head and add a few other details in that would define it just a smidgen more..

Special Abilities:
Being so big, this creature is astonishingly hard to find,<period. | .capitalize>this is because it has the unusual ability of looking like a huge rock, indistinguishable of others until it moves,<period. | ."Movement could also be considered another special ability"? Perhaps?>which is also another unusual ability, since the size seems to do nothing to slow down this abomination, its tentacles move with the speed of a whip and hurt even worse, curling around the victim before dragging it to its awaiting maw.

While encountered somewhat frequently by travelers that delve in the depths of the warm, humid forests of Sarvonia, they<the creature don't<doesn't seem to develop well in the colder weathers of the Northern lands,<period. | .capitalize>nor do/can they thrive in the arid deserts by the South, thus making it a creature of the central portions of the continent, often reaching to the shores. Its need to remain hidden to hunt makes it prefer dense forests and marshes, where it can make its tendrils pass as vines and its body as a huge mossy rock.

The Folihydra is territorial and aggressive with<towards anything that comes close to it, with the natural exception of dragons and other fire-breathing or fire-wielding creatures, to whom it attempts to remain concealed.<How does it detect that the creature approaching it has a fire ability? Regardless of whether the specifics of this ability are known, it should also be listed in the Special Abilities section. This creature destroys others of its kind that happen to sprout within its territory, however since it cannot abandon its sprouting spot due to its sheer size and weight, the clash of two mature Folihydras remains unobserved. This makes it seem as though this creature not only is hulking in size, but also spans a very wide area. As such, I am curious as to whether you could perhaps include in the Appearance Section how long it's limbs extend. Perhaps not an exact measurement, but a roundabout guess as to the length of its reach. Assuming that its reach is circular, as it extends out in all directions away from its body, perhaps you could determine an average diameter for its territory.

Another random thought: perhaps the further the limb is stretched away from the body, the weaker it is. So, perhaps prey snared at the outskirts of its reach would have somewhat of a chance to escape? This, however, is a mere suggestion and it is completely up to you as to what you would like to add or what-have-you. :)

Its diet consists of whatever it can swallow whole, which is most any other creature in the forests they inhabit,<period. | .capitalize>however<comma it seems they only need to eat once every month. It has a predilection for large deer-like and horse-like creatures, presumably due to how easy it is to snare them without fear of claws or fangs that could harm its tendrils.

Unobserved, presumably it doesn't mate, but rather reproduces like a plant, adding more mystery and challenge to the classification of this creature.<This is a curious mix of an incomplete and run-on sentence, as it seems more like bullet-points rather than a fully formed section.

The procreation method of this creature can remain a mystery, but I personally would love to see this section expanded upon with some random and perhapsibly even wild speculations. Perhaps they never truly die! Perhaps where they sprout is merely one bud from the same seed! When you cut down one and seemingly "uproot" it, perhaps it simply sprouts a new body elsewhere! Perhaps in spring it shoots seeds far up into the sky to be taken by the wind and take root somewhere far away! But... speculation is ultimately up to you, and I thoroughly look forward to seeing what you come up with!

The moss-fur of this creature is used by human hunters to camouflage in the dense forests with great results, and wizards find use of its sap-blood and teeth in alchemical preparations to provide strength, although legends claim that drinking the unadulterated sap-blood can drive the drinker into a mad murderous frenzy that culminates with its death by exhaustion.<This is a run-on sentence. Perhaps you could break it up into two or three separate sentences.

I. Love. This. Creature.
I want one.
It is so magnificent and beautiful to me, please finish it! I am so excited to see its finished product. Perhaps you could give it magical properties, even! I don't even know, but I love it and I am thoroughly pleased by its existence.

I look forward to its completion.
19  Santharian World Development / The Santharian Bestiary / Re: the Squelchbug on: 22 November 2015, 14:30:08
I have inserted the name Oorrett-Squelcher in the necessary area and cannot find anything else that would need changing, improving, or expanded upon myself. As such I would super appreciate comments or whathaveyou.

Thank you for your time and patience. If there is anything you would like me to review for you, please don't hesitate to ask. I'd be happy to give any entry a Uri-check! :3
20  Santharian World Development / The Santharian Bestiary / Re: the GulletCramp Butterfly on: 22 November 2015, 14:22:04
Alright! All fixed up, primed and ready for comments! Thank you. Hopefully the changes made are permissible. Alt, I wanted to use your lye tea and did my best to rewrite it in my own words. If the revision isn't to your liking, please let me know.

Thank you for your time and patience.
21  Santharian World Development / Places and Map Design / Re: Masterwork: Mapping and Overview of Cyhalloi on: 22 November 2015, 14:11:57
I have rewritten the orcs and I believe that I have accurately found all of the instances where I mentioned them and put the same name for them. It's been kind of difficult to get feedback on a name for them, so I combined cold and frost to make a word for Ice. I'm no linguist though, so it's entirely likely that it's nonsensical. Anyway, the entire entry is finished and ready to be reviewed, torn apart, or whathaveyou. Please and very much thank you.
22  Santharian World Development / The Santharian Bestiary / Re: the GulletCramp Butterfly on: 18 November 2015, 13:57:47
I recall that I originally wanted this parasite to be a little bit more deadly, but have since softened my intentions.

Alt, that is an extremely sound suggestion. But I do like what Seagazer proposed as well. Perhaps I can incorporate both of them.
23  Santharian World Development / The Santharian Bestiary / Re: the Squelchbug on: 18 November 2015, 13:48:01
You're on to something there. Perhaps Oorrett-Squelcher, as he would be known for his invention that provides the Brownies with a steady supply of Squelchbug juice and eggs.
24  Santharian World Development / The Santharian Bestiary / Re: the Squelchbug on: 18 November 2015, 12:05:21
I have expanded the territory of this delicious bug, but I'm still trying to come up with a name for the Brownie that coined the Squelchbug harvesting tecnique and equipment.
25  Santharian World Development / The Santharian Bestiary / Re: the GulletCramp Butterfly on: 18 November 2015, 11:30:35
I believe that I have addressed all of the comments. As you can see, I still have one area that I am unsure about. It is the cure for this pretty little bug. I am studying native plants to its territory to determine this.

Fairly certain that I addressed the whole acid-resistant then suddenly not acid-resistant issue. Lol sorry. Anyway. If you have any suggestions for a concoction that would serve as a cure, I'd be delighted to hear. Otherwise, I will have that spot fixed up shortly.
26  Santharian World Development / The Santharian Bestiary / Re: the GulletCramp Butterfly on: 15 November 2015, 13:34:30
Yes, I will have it expanded upon in a few hours. Thank you for your input, gentlemen. :)
27  Organization and General Discussions / Discussions, Development Ideas & Proposals / Re: What's the Matter with Santharia? on: 15 November 2015, 13:31:41
I'm pretty much done with Cyhalloi's outline and would love it if it turned into a group project from here. There is quite a number of things in the outline that have no entry, and I would be happy to provide a categorized list..

If I could get permission, I would love to rewrite the Kasumarii-men tribe.

I should have Cyhalloi wrapped up in a few days, but between now and then would love any comments or suggestions anyone might have for the Orcs I've written up there- as I am not very good when it comes to them.
28  Santharian World Development / The Santharian Bestiary / Re: the Squelchbug on: 15 November 2015, 08:01:21
Yes, I would definitely like to use their verses. Expanding its territory is a sound idea. :) Thank you for the input.
29  Santharian World Development / The Santharian Bestiary / Re: the GulletCramp Butterfly on: 09 November 2015, 17:15:52
Another ready for comments.
30  Santharian World Development / The Santharian Bestiary / Re: the Squelchbug on: 09 November 2015, 17:12:25
I'm gonna bump this. If someone could suggest a part of the Vale that would be best for them to reside in, that would be much appreciated. Otherwise, pretty much ready for comments. Thank you.
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