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16  Organization and General Discussions / Announcements and Web Design / Re: Site Update 05-04-2009 on: 07 April 2009, 23:29:07
Oh no Art... I was just about to post something. I have dug out the long overdue to be completed story from 2 years ago - The City of Masks - to add an ending to it. But that means opening a new book.   :P
17  Santharian World Development / The Santharian Library / Re: Conversing With Dragons on: 05 April 2009, 22:39:11
Hello... hope you  don't mind me adding on my comments.

It was enjoyable read and I can see in my mind's eye the grin on the storyteller's face and the anticipation on the boy's. Good work.

The cheeky edge to the story is refreshing. So... did the teller really encounter a dragon?

I agree with Art that an introduction would be nice. Maybe the text was in a found diary, or a lost letter or perhaps the story of braggart. Some formatting issues to make it easier to read. Spacing between the thoughts of the teller and story that the teller tells would be helpful.

Some questions in my mind which are questions you may want to ask when fine-tuning your story.

1) Why would a dragon tell you a story that reflects its own greed? Clearly the story teaches a lesson in greed and does the dragon who told the teller the story realise it - it strikes me as a little odd.

2)  "It wasn't for many many years that a brave soul attempted approach the dragon's lair. At that point the greedy golden dragon had amassed enough wealth to feed the largest kingdom for at least five years. The hungry thief entered, thinking to grab just a handful of gold so that he might live out his life in comforts."
--> the brave soul bit somehow suggests something heroic. The thief bit suggests otherwise. Instead of brave, you may want to consider using something along the lines of a fool's bravery - bravery that is stems not so much from the heroic but rather ignorance or an over-estimation of one's abilities.

3) Details of a struggle between the thief and dragon would be nice - nothing like nice "fight", after all, a true storyteller would take advantage of all areas that might interest a listening kid and add juicy details. My opinion (which you may choose to ignore) is that little details like that make your story richer.

4) A little abrupt on the whole getting rid of the gold lump bit. For a dragon who spent years accumulating so much wealth, it does seem rather rash - or if you meant it to be rash, you got to play up that side of the dragon's nature more. Add a line or two about the frustration, some attempts to split the gold back into smaller pieces etc.

5) "The gods had been watching the dragon throughout the years..." needs to be in a new paragraph. It also sounds a little awkward being placed there.

Very nice ending - the story closed very neatly.  :)
18  Organization and General Discussions / Non-Santharian Stuff: Life, the Universe & Everything / Re: Updates on Elen's life on: 05 April 2009, 19:49:48
Hello Art!

I certainly hope I'm not just visiting. But I think I have 2 years worth of development readings to catch up on (plus all those I haven't read way in the past) so it's  kinda of difficult to write with all the missing gaps.

BUT I think I would like to help with editorial work. It will also allow me to read and catch up. *grin*

I will start by commenting first and when I'm ready to write I will.  ;)

Well, it feels good to be back. Thank you for welcoming me back - that's the great thing about Santharia, you can be the prodigal son and still be welcomed back with open arms. That's family.
19  Organization and General Discussions / Non-Santharian Stuff: Life, the Universe & Everything / Re: Updates on Elen's life on: 03 April 2009, 23:06:11
Oh don't worry about it... I am guilty of the same thing. I have your part 2 & 3 swordfighting video sitting in my drawer.

I was supposed to send it at some point in time...  buck
20  Organization and General Discussions / Non-Santharian Stuff: Life, the Universe & Everything / Updates on Elen's life on: 03 April 2009, 13:34:00
Hello I'm back.  grin

I deliberated posting on the newbie forum since being away for so long, I guess I could consider myself new. But then I decided to say hi to someone else instead. But yes, I'm back - and quite happily so. 

Ok - I'm going to start making excuses for myself.

EXCUSE 1

I was busy with work. I was working really hard so that I could get a scholarship to go to Canada to do my masters... but I didn't get it in the end. Sigh...

EXCUSE 2

I was busy writing in real life. This one I succeeded! I wrote a children's book, a simple fantasy one which is going to be converted into trading cards for kids. The story text will be on the back of the card. The full story will be published as a book at a later date. Yipee! I can finally say that I am a published author. Now I am just enjoying seeing people illustrate my work.

EXCUSE 3

I'm going to get married next year! Well wedding preparations have just started but my "husband-to-be" and I have been busy with looking for a new home, marriage preparation courses and yadda yadda... in short, busy.

Ok and they are all excuses....
21  Organization and General Discussions / Non-Santharian Stuff: Life, the Universe & Everything / Re: Fear Arti's Power! on: 03 April 2009, 13:23:37
I'm so late... Am only seeing this now. I couldn't agree more. Hehehehe...

22  Organization and General Discussions / Newbie Information, Joining Requests and Recruitment / Re: Hi!!! on: 03 April 2009, 13:19:14
Welcome from me too... the absent one.  grin
23  Santharian World Development / The Santharian Library / Re: The Wandering Tree on: 03 April 2008, 00:12:28
Yes yes... Silverstein. I love that story - it has been stuck in my head for quite a while and so I thought to do a Santharian version. Not terribly original I know but ah well...

That said, it does sound rather abrupt. 3 is a good fairytale number. I will add the cart wandering bit in. Might have to tighten the whole trust but it shouldn't be too much of a problem.

Thanks for the suggestion. cool
24  Organization and General Discussions / Bell-Ringing - Notifications to Developers / Re: Dala! on: 02 April 2008, 00:00:50
DALA!!! Knock knock... you there?

I wrote something both to inspire you to get back here and for you to comment. It's in the library.
25  Organization and General Discussions / Bell-Ringing - Notifications to Developers / Re: Bard Judith! on: 01 April 2008, 23:59:24
Dear Mentor...

After two years FINALLY... here's a short story, not really anything, just something to start to get back into the swing of things.

Ok - I don't know how to insert hyperlink so here it is

The Wandering Tree -  http://www.santharia.com/dev/index.php/topic,12397.0.htm 
by Master Tribell
26  Santharian World Development / The Santharian Library / The Wandering Tree on: 01 April 2008, 23:53:39
The Wandering Tree: A Story about Unconditional Generosity
 by Master Tribell
(As recorded in Master Tribellís Miraculous Narrations, Scholarís Edition)

Once upon a time, there lived a magnificent Maple Tree in the garden of a modest little cottage. It was a fine big tree that produced the sweetest syrup you could ever imagine. Oh, how the children loved its syrup with their food. They would have it with biscuits, bread, tea and everything you could think of. When the time came for the tree to shed its leaves, it would drop fine golden yellow leaves that turned a crispy brown. The garden then became a playground for the kids and they would frolic in the fallen leaves from day-dawn to day-dusk.

That was until the old-lady of the cottage died.

She left behind a young son whose name is Troito. One could say that both tree and man, different as they are, are firm friends. The tree had watched the man as he grew, providing shade and company under its lush thick foliage; the man remembers spilling his heart, its desires and its woes to the silent but ever attentive tree. Oftentimes, the two of them would silently pass the day away, the tree basking in the sun and the man basking in its shade.

They thought that their lives would never change but there comes a time where a person has to go back to Sheara and so it is that his mother left him for the heavens.

Left on his own, young Troito found the freedom he never knew. Suddenly, he was free to see the world and free to do whatever his heart wills. He no longer had to take care of his mother and so one day, he decided to leave.

However, only a fool travels empty handed. Young Troito was no fool and so asked the tree for its blessing and permission to take what it could offer. A wind blew and the leaves sang

Take my blood oh young Troito
Sweet and thick and good as gold

Take my branches and my leaves
A cart they will make that never gives

Of came a branch and with an axe, off came the rest. Young Troito chopped off very single branch and more. With them he made a cart. He then drained the tree of all its sap, turning them into sweet, thick maple syrup. He poured the syrup into earthen jars and filled the cart. With the cart, the syrup and his belongings in tow, he left the cottage and the life he knew for good.

The tree without its branches and scarred by the draining was left dry and empty and had nothing more to offer. The children came no more and the cottage was left to rot with the passing days.

Young Troito made his way in the world, grew rich and forgot about the tree. He grew up and grew old. But one day, when we used up all his riches, he remembered the tree and his motherís old cottage. He went back to see if the tree was still there and so it was, just as he had left it, old and dying, without its branches and without its leaves.

Troito was joyful because he remembered his childhood and old faithful friend. He decided to stay and make a home again. Alas, the cottage had rotten and had to be remade so Troito once again asked the tree for its blessing and permission to take what it could offer. A wind blew and the leaves sang

Take my wood oh friend Troito
Use it well and make a home

Wood is all I have old friend
Use it well to the very end

Down came the tree in small wooden planks. Slice by slice they were cut with Troitoís feeble hands. Soon nothing was left but a small little stump but a cottage was built when Torito was done. Torito passed his days sitting on that stump, talking to the tree, his old friend, the way he used to do and the tree, ever attentive, listened to his stories as well as it could.

Trees live a long time and stumps do too but man, as they say, lives no more than a candle would. Troito was called by Sheara one day and he went away, this time for good. But dear friends, if you recall the story, you would remember that there was a cart made of wood Ė the cart that was made from a friend old and true.

The cart was found one day by the stump. It turned up on its own by means no one could say. It would stay for a while and then disappear and so it is said, by the villages around, that in it is the spirit of the old maple tree that once stood. The cart wanders the world the way Troito did and once in a manís lifetime it would return to the stump, staying there for a while and then disappearing again.

Over years and over time, the spirited cart was given a name, The Wandering Tree, it is now fondly called and it wanders where help is needed for all.   
27  Santharian World Development / The Santharian Library / Re: Where have all our Newbies gone? on: 24 March 2008, 12:44:54
I'm here too!!!

I was stuck in the chasm between new and old for quite a while. Am slowly climbing up now with a half written story.  grin

It should be ready soon enough.   ;)
28  Organization and General Discussions / Newbie Information, Joining Requests and Recruitment / Re: New Here on: 13 March 2008, 01:19:40
Hello Zeronius from me as well. I was a newbie not too long ago and joining Santharia was one of the most amazing experiences I had - especially where meeting wonderful new people with similar interests are concerned. Though I must say I have been absent for a while and am only starting to make my way back.

Honourable Bard and mentor: Apologies for my absence. I am itching to add to your wiki point - isn't the whole concept of a wiki one where anyone can edit at will? Even if we made a really nice entry here on the development board and then put it up on wikipedia, who's to say that no one will mess with it.  evil

Nonetheless, it's always good to have a framework to work with.
29  Santharian World Development / Miscellaneous / Re: Brownie Bead Industry on: 12 March 2008, 23:43:50
A lovely entry. I enjoyed reading it and yes, pictures are due. Wouldn't it be lovely to have a Santharian jewellery collection?   cool

(Just throwing around ideas - who knows, you might find something you like)

- A Brownie Bead Museum where their best pieces through the years are kept
- Not a price list but a significance/meanings list the way birth stones work in our world
- A Guild system where the whole art of bead making is passed on to the younger generation, bead making as a specialised profession. There are those who mass produce it and there are those who see it as art like glass made in China as opposed to Venice's Murano glass works.

Look forward to reading your myth and lore section.
30  Organization and General Discussions / Non-Santharian Stuff: Life, the Universe & Everything / Re: There and Back Again on: 12 March 2008, 11:38:24
Yes yes... busy busy but satisfyingly so. I will definitely nudge Dala... hehehe.

I'm going to Scotland next month so maybe the highlands will prove inspiring for a couple of stories.

Still on the line of story-writing, I've decided to take it one step further because I would like to be able to illustrate my own picture book. I have plans to sign up with the local arts academy to learn fine art and drawing.  ;)

Myself aside, Santharia does seem slower these days.  huh The interval between responses seem a little longer. I also don't see Talia around as much too. Is everyone very busy as well?


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