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16  Santharian World Development / The Santharian Bestiary / Re: The Desert Trag on: 26 June 2010, 15:54:21
Just a little note to let people know I haven't abandoned this and I am working on it wakeup hammer
17  Santharian World Development / Places and Map Design / Re: Kreeswind on: 26 June 2010, 15:53:45
Just a little note to let people know I haven't abandoned this and I am working on it wakeup hammer
18  Santharian World Development / People of the World of Caelereth / Re: Yerun the Ereshian on: 26 June 2010, 15:50:04
Ok, comments integrated in blue.
19  Santharian World Development / People of the World of Caelereth / Re: Yerun the Ereshian on: 26 June 2010, 15:40:41
Overview
What is an Ereshian? Perhaps add (of the province/city/xxx of xxx)"

That is explained later on.

Perhaps an "Erpheronian researcher"

I think I prefer to leave as it is, seeing as it is just a stylistic decision, and Yerun could have been a Ximaxian with mainly Erpheronian heritage but a few other tribes thrown in.

"in the city of Ximax".

These are Ximax rats, a different species to other rats

adding a touch of irony to a tragic death.

Again, I prefer to leave it the way it is stylistically

were always wide

I don't think it makes sense without the were.

added to his already rodentine appearance.

Is rodentine a word? My dictionary doesn't seem to think so :)

Personality
This makes it seem as if Yerun was both driven and thoughtful, which don't always compliment each other. In addition, it makes him seem pretty balanced, which may not be what you're aiming for.

He was very driven all the time and thoughtful when writing his essays. I will, however, add a sentence or two to clarify.

So he was a very crazy, angry man who was patient and collected? I think I'd like to caricturize this guy a bet more ;)

He was crazy but patient and collected. I did say he rarely got angry, but when he did... I'll definitely try to make this more clear, though.


Biography
Should he really be tied s strongly to the Compendium? After all, there are plenty of researchers who don't work for our particular organization.

Well, since I am developing this from another person's idea and they seemed to think he was a compendiumist, I think it should probably stay that way.

1593 a.S.- which one?

The unnamed and unimportant one mentioned earlier :)

1629 a.S.- hairless

Not quite grin

Good job! I like him :)

Thanks very much! And thanks, too for your comments. Sorry to squabble over so many of them, but I think that most of the changes are unnecessary. I'll get right down to incorporating the other ones.

20  Santharian World Development / The Santharian Library / Re: Song of Sadness (Aellenrhim) on: 24 June 2010, 04:32:59
Here our screams ---> Hear our screams
21  Santharian World Development / People of the World of Caelereth / Re: Yerun the Ereshian on: 24 June 2010, 02:02:57
Ok, edits made in yellow.

Any more comments?
22  Santharian World Development / People of the World of Caelereth / Re: Yerun the Ereshian on: 24 June 2010, 01:52:59
Thank you both for the excellent comments. I'll get to them right now.
23  Santharian World Development / People of the World of Caelereth / Re: Yerun the Ereshian on: 23 June 2010, 05:34:23
Thanks for all the carefully thought out comments. Here, have an AURA+1.

I think all of your comments have been incorporated in orange. Any more?
24  Santharian World Development / People of the World of Caelereth / Re: Yerun the Ereshian on: 20 June 2010, 00:14:26
Can I just bump this? I'd like to be finished with this so I can concentrate on other entries to finish before the update.
25  Organization and General Discussions / Non-Santharian Stuff: Life, the Universe & Everything / Re: The Official Football World Cup 2010 Thread on: 20 June 2010, 00:10:59
actually Ath, it was Switzerland 1-0 Spain.

North Korea 1-2 Brazil?

Serbia 1-0 Germany?

Mexico 2-0 France?

England 0-0 Algeria?

What is this world coming to?!?
26  Santharian World Development / Santharian Artists Workshop and Resources / Re: Lingra Wild Cat pic on: 17 June 2010, 04:43:05
I don't mind it, and i too think it gives it personality, but I just think that for the way the cat was described in the entry it is a bit human looking. I don't really feel that change is necessary, I just thought that when I looked at the picture.
27  Santharian World Development / Santharian Artists Workshop and Resources / Re: Lingra Wild Cat pic on: 17 June 2010, 01:29:23
Phenomenal work once again Seeker. AURA+1

For some reason though, the face looks a bit too human. Perhaps the chin is jutting out too much or something.
28  Organization and General Discussions / Non-Santharian Stuff: Life, the Universe & Everything / Re: The Official Football World Cup 2010 Thread on: 16 June 2010, 04:58:38
I think the horns are called vuvuzelas
29  Santharian World Development / The Santharian Bestiary / Re: The Dreamlouse on: 15 June 2010, 03:10:49
AURA+1 Excellent.

One question: How long do they live for? If they mature within 14 days and only have to feed once every 10 days, then it seems unlikely that they would live very long.
30  Santharian World Development / Places and Map Design / Re: The Zohologica on: 15 June 2010, 02:15:14
I think, Jonael, that idea is a very good one. I might even eliminate the need for so many mages, as the climates in each area would be suitable for the creatures you keep there.
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