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Chronusian
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« on: 19 January 2006, 01:45:00 »

Overview [Category - Monsters, Water]

The Ancythrian Bladed serpent is a large sea-snake living in the Ancythrian Sea. It gets it name from a blade that is attached to it's head and tail.  It’s existence was greatly speculation, assumed to be myths created by weary sailors, until the discovery of it’s giant eggshells floating inland from the sea

Description

Not much is known about this deadly creature, as many of those unfortunate enough to cross it's path have not survived to speak of it. Many a vessel have been lost to this mighty sea,and the Bladeserpent is sure to be responsible for a number of them.  What little is known about the Bladed Serpent, I have gathered from the account of various sailors who certainly have been blessed by Baveras to survive such a horrible encounter.

Appearance

While the Serpent is indeed very unfriendly, it is one of the most beautiful creatures to be seen by man. An account of one of the sailors:

"After the beast wreaked considerable damage upon our vessel, it popped it scaly head above the surface, to mock us. I must say what I expected was a horrendous looking creature, but was I in for a surprise. Even in the moonlight I could see her clearly. Her scales were the most beautiful color, the color of the sea itself, with a bit of green mixed in. They sparkled in the moonlight, and the silver blade running down her head like a mane of hair was a wonderous sight to behold. Indeed I was stunned, and for one moment forgot all of the trouble she had caused, and became lost in her beauty."

As one has not been found dead, it's exact size is not known.

However:

"I first saw the blade alongside my vessel, I had heard tales of this beast before and very quickly ordered my crewman to pull back, so that the beast could not slash us with the blade on it's head. However, we were very surprised when the tail of the beast struck the bottom of our ship from behind! The beast had to be at least as long as my vessel in order to do such a thing! Even longer! But not by much, because the creature had to be fully extended in order to make such a manuever, and it seemed to jerk a bit when it's tail pierced the hull."

To fit this description, the beast would have been somewhere between 35 and 45 peds in length. Also, in order to perform such a maneuver, the best would have to be very lithe and graceful, a fitting attribute for all of it’s beauty.


Special Abilities
The Bladeserpent was named so because of a long silver blade attached to its head and extended for a short distance down it's body. Another blade is attached to it's tail. It's blades have been used to slice and thrash into the hull of ships passing through, causing them to sink very quickly.

These blades are in very peculiar positions for a serpent. The blade on it's head is not apparently practical for hunting purposes, yet can simply be a defense mechanism. The tail blade however, is more than likely used as a spear to catch its prey and bring it to the serpent's mouth. A situation where this would be used is when the prey is somewhat below the serpent, and is not able to be simply swallowed from behind.

The monster is also known to create rather large whirlpools, quite possibly in multiple fashions.

"The night was as calm as any could be on the sea, and I had no reason to suspect any trouble. As I looked ahead, I noticed that a bugger of a whirlpool appeared outta nowhere, and I thought it quite unnatural. Next thing I know we were all scrambling for our lives, as the beast came swimming from beneath the whirlpool and attacked."

A whirlpool can be created simply by the beast opening it's mouth wide enough for suction.It can also be assumed that during it's ascent to the surface, the serpent swims in a circular pattern causing the whirlpool to form, and would explain the beast attacking from beneath the whirlpool rather than sticking it's head out from above it.


Territory

It is rather fortunate for sailors all over Caelreth, that this beast is only known to reside in the Ancythrian Sea. There is no doubt that the creatures reside close to the Enclave of Alvang, along the Blood Reef to the southeast of the enclave, and the black reef to the south. These places are generally avoided by sailors, yet sometimes mistakes are made, and they sail into one of these reefs. Once they become to close, it is already too late for them to turn back without being noticed in most cases.

Habitat/Behavior

The creature has not been seen doing anything other than wrecking ships. However, the occurrence has been rare, so it is safe to assume that the latter is not the beast’s only pastime. It is likely that the beast is in fact amphibious, due to its serpent like nature, and the fact that it showed no sign of suffering while above the surface of the water. The beast could make it's home them in an undersea cave of any sort, and it is most likely there are caves within the reefs where they reside. All known encounters with the beast have been during the night, so it can be safely assumed that the creature is nocturnal. Or it can be assumed that sailors have rather bad luck during the daytime to encounter one; though by no means should looking for the famous Ancythrian Bladeserpent be the primary pastime for a bored sailor.

Diet

The one thing that the serpent is known to eat is sailors. Other than that, it is possible that it feeds on the Ancythrian shark, the largest predator... or second largest predator, in the Ancythrian.

"Our ship was destroyed and what the beast did not smash to bits was left as flotsam. I clung tightly to the few planks I was on. glad to know that the monster I had left. Or so I thought. Seconds later, the beast, out of nowhere surfaces and swallows nearly all of the debris and most of the surviving crew with a giant whirlpool.  I barely made it, as the creature stopped shortly before I was puled in."  

Mating

We do know that these creatures in fact, lay eggs. The eggs are rather small in comparative size to the beasts, at about 6 fores. They are very thin and fragile, and are pearly white, and almost as beautiful as the beasts themselves. It could be assumed that these creatures mate in the same manner that a serpent upon the land would. However, speculation here arises because the blades if the serpent, along with the currents of the water would make such mating quite awkward.

Myth/Lore/Origin

As mentioned before, the sailors were a bit too far north for their own good, Perhaps the beast is a warden to keep us away from the enclave? Or perhaps formed from whatever dark magic was used there?

A pretty well known story regarding Alvang and the beast, was that the beast was actually the reason so many were killed at Alvang on “Witchkings Night”

Though no one knows for sure what was used to devastate Severens army, stories arose to explain it anyway. These stories are discredited for the most part by historians, rather than being accepted as historical can. The stories are mainly used to scare children and ambitious sailors away from the enclave.

A passage from the Cavthani tale, “The Witchking’s Knight”

“In a flash of light the beast appeared, and what a sight it was to behold! We all were caught in it’s beauty momentarily, and it even put on a little show for the soldiers, slithering around slowly and gracefully, rising to a position that feigned peacefulness. It was utterly entrancing, up until the point that it struck. With a flick of it’s tail, and a bob of is massive head, thousands of men were killed either by it’s massive blade or by being devoured in mass. Once it struck, the soldiers naturally tried to defend themselves, yet the creature was too fast. It slaughtered them with great efficiency and speed, though it was greatly wounded in the process. At the end of it all, the beast slithered into the sea with it’s wounds, and it’s blood, along with the blood of many fallen soldiers, tainted the nearby waters. Over time, the small amount of coral there built up and was stained red by the blood of the fallen, and thus Blood reef came into existence.”

Some historians, as in, those who believe there is dark Activity on the enclave, argue that the beasts were created by dark elves on the isle to prevent anyone from interfering with their plans.



Umm... I CANT THINK OF ONE!!!! NOOO!!!!

Edited by: Artimidor Federkiel at: 2/19/06 18:43
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Chronusian
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« Reply #1 on: 19 January 2006, 01:48:00 »

With the exception of what I have put in orange... I think this is good...
Questions regarding the latter...

What are the standards for ship sizes?
And I think the myth/lore section is a little bare... but I'm not sure what else to put there...
Also, is it okay if I actually say  that there are 8 known survivors from 3 ships?



Umm... I CANT THINK OF ONE!!!! NOOO!!!!

Edited by: Chronusian at: 1/18/06 8:54
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« Reply #2 on: 19 January 2006, 06:12:00 »

This is a good entry chronusian, i really like the bladeserpent creature which fits well in the ancythrian sea.  Just one thing i found some difficulty with while skimming through it is this:

Quote:
All known encounters with the beast have been during the night, so it can be safely assumed that the creature is nocturnal. Or it can be assumed that sailors have rather bad luck during the daytime.


Im a litte confused about this part. Is daytime supposed to be nightime?Or mabey bad luck is supposed to be good? or is it supposed to be good luck to encounter one of these beast? from the way it sounds, i think it would be more bad luck then good. anyway mabey its just me confused about the whole thing, but could you please explain this to me.

Other then that i didnt find much wrong with it reading it, and think im a little to unqualified to do a uricheck.
So as far as im concerned its a very good entry chronusian that is perfect for this sea:)  

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Chronusian
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« Reply #3 on: 19 January 2006, 11:46:00 »

:rollin

That was an attept at humor Melathor. What I was getting at is that if the creature indeed attacked during the day, no-one has lived to tell about it.



Umm... I CANT THINK OF ONE!!!! NOOO!!!!

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Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels
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« Reply #4 on: 19 January 2006, 18:39:00 »

Overview [Category - Monsters, Water]

Not much is known about this deadly creature, as many of those unfortunate enough to cross it's path have not survived to speak of it. Many a vessel have been lost to this mighty sea,and the Bladeserpent is sure to be responsible for a number of them. What little is known about the Bladed Serpent, I have gathered from the account of various sailors who certainly have been blessed by Baveras to survive such a horrible encounter.

This doesn‘t belong in the overview, here we want to have a summary about what little we now, that it is a serpent, living in the water and how it looks like in one sentence.


Appearance

While the Serpent is indeed very unfriendly, it is one of the most beautiful creatures to be seen by man. An account of one of the sailors:

"After the beast wreaked considerable damage upon our vessel, it popped its scaly head above the surface, to laugh at us. I must say what I expected was a horrendous looking creature, but was I in for a surprise. Even in the moonlight I could see her clearly. Her scales were the most beautiful color, the color of the sea itself, with a bit of green mixed in. They sparkled in the moonlight, and the silver blade running down her head like a mane of hair was a wonderous sight to behold. Indeed I was stunned, and for one moment forgot all of the trouble she had caused, and became lost in her beauty."

The serpent's exact length is unknown, though it is known to be at least as long as a standard trade vessel. Insert Size Here...

Come on, don‘t evade describing it - thee has surely been found an unfortunate individuum dead on land or one was even killed and caught by accident! A better de*****ion or you better write a myth!

Special Abilities

The Bladeserpent was named so because of a long silver blade attached to its head and extended for Insert Length Here down it's body. Another blade is attached to it's tail. It's blades have been used to slice and thrash into the hull of ships passing through, causing them to sink very quickly.

I wonder, why this animal should need such blades, on the head AND tail?

The serpent also produces whirlpools.
Not so dry! ... The serpent is known to be able to produce whirlpools as well, which can have the size of...

"The night was as calm as any could be on the sea, and I had no reason to suspect any trouble. As I looked ahead noticed that a bugger of a whirlpool appeared outta nowhere, and I thought it quite unnatural. Next thing I know we were all scrambling for our lives, as the beast came swimming from beneath the whirlpool and attacked."

A whirlpool can be created simply by the beast opening it's mouth wide enough for suction. Another theory here, is that during it's ascent to the surface, the serpent swims in a circular pattern causing the whirlpool to form, and would explain the beast attacking from beneath the whirlpool rather than sticking it's head out from above it.

You can‘t state in the first sentence something and then say in the second, another theory.. I doubt , that one can know it exactly anyway, so use „it is said, it is assumed etc“
 


Territory

It is rather fortunate for sailors all over Caelreth, that this beast is only known to reside in the Ancythrian Sea. The survivors all agree, however, that land was certainly nowhere in sight when they were attacked. Also, all of the ships attacked where from Elsreth bound for Cavthan. When the wreckage drifted ashore, the crew members had been quite a way north of Cavthan, so it was likely that they were sailing a bit too close to Alvang as well. Yet another reason to avoid that cursed place.

Habitat/Behavior

To put it simply, this is a very malicious creature. I don't suppose that I would want to get close enough to see it in it's natural habitat, and I worry for you if you do.

All known encounters with the beast have been during the night, so it can be safely assumed that the creature is nocturnal. Or it can be assumed that sailors have rather bad luck during the daytime.

Why is it malicious? Only sentient creatures can be malicious.
Please, add much more to this paragraph and don‘t say, that it is too mysterious so that nothing is known. If nothing is known, we need no entry. Think at the beast when going to bed and at breakfast - after a week you know what to write!


Diet

The one thing that the serpent is known to eat is sailors. Other than that, it is possible that it feeds on the Ancythrian shark, the largest predator... or second largest predator, in the Ancythrian.

"Our ship was destroyed and what the beast did not smash to bits was left as flotsam. I clung tightly to the few planks I was on. glad to know that the monster I had left. Or so I thought. Seconds later, the beast, out of nowhere surfaces and swallows nearly all of the debris and most of the surviving crew with a giant whirlpool. I barely made it, as the creature stopped shortly before I was puled in."

Mating

I pray that there is only one of these creatures.

I like your humour, but I would like to see more here as well! :D  

Myth/Lore/Origin

As mentioned before, the sailors were a bit too far north for there own good, Perhaps the beast is a warden to keep us away from the enclave? Or perhaps formed from whatever dark magic was used there?

Tatata, that is all?  

Chronusian, this is a very interesting beast! Therefore I really would like to see it developed much more. You can keep it mysterious, but it has much more potential! Double your effort and do this entry three times as long as it is now, and maybe I will be content then ;)

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« Reply #5 on: 19 January 2006, 19:50:00 »

Three times????

Thats quite a bit...

I think I've pretty much covered everything... I'm trying to keep the beast as mysterious as possible... and exclusive as possible.. as in I don't want there to be more than one of them, however I threw in a lot more speculation. I left the myth/lore section bare mainly beacause what I usually add there.. stories and things of that nature, I used to describe the beast...  



Umm... I CANT THINK OF ONE!!!! NOOO!!!!

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« Reply #6 on: 20 January 2006, 02:36:00 »

Ohhhhh, i understand now. :lol  

it was late when i read it and i was really tired, so it seemed a little confusing to me. (thats my excuse anyway, and im sticking to it.)  Looking back at it now, i dont know how i got confused on it in the first place.

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« Reply #7 on: 20 January 2006, 07:10:00 »

Trying to keep it mysterious is no excuse for lack of detail!

*tries to look very determined and serious , staring down Chronusian like the older Geisha the younger in this new film  *

Go and get your imagination flowing as I said, concentrate on it, think about it when going to bed and when rising, have a dream and remember it -  or I chain you down in the dungeaon with only bread and water! You got two weeks for a perfect submission! After then I will call for Dala's demon ducks!

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« Reply #8 on: 22 January 2006, 22:18:00 »

I have added quite a bit more to this entry...

I am still thinking on the myth part, though I do not particularly want to add too much there...

As for the length of the beast, I imagine is 10-20 peds longer than a Standard trading vessel... Only I don't know exactly how long a standard trading vessel is. Is there any way to clarify this?

PLEASE! Anything but the Ducks!



Umm... I CANT THINK OF ONE!!!! NOOO!!!!

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« Reply #9 on: 09 February 2006, 16:21:00 »

Ok, I take a look at this one as well, maybe we have a chance to get this up sooner or later:)

Overview.
It's very short. It should contain at least some important things mentioned in the entry below. No need to write a novel here, but 2-3 more lines wouldn't hurt. It's just too basic yet here in this part. I would add perhaps that the beast for a long time was considered a myth or a lame excuse for captains who got caught up in a storm, but that various accounts confirmed the fact that these beasts seem to really exist deep down there.

Appearance.
Ship sizes were researched by Capher e.g. for the Avennorian Ships entry see here. A normal trading ship would be a Barek, so approx. 29 peds in length, so you could mention that it is considered between 30 and 50 peds of size or something similar I'd say.

"Laugh at us" BTW is quite a strange expression for a serpent or a beast/animal in general. Ever seen a dog or a cat laughing? ;)  But you could say that it seemed to enjoy it or something similar...

Appearance could use some more specifications. Was it sleek like an eel? Had it horns on its head or did it have fangs, large or small nostrils, were there characteristic sounds when it appeared?

Special Abilities.
Very nice details here, like that:)

Territory.
Maybe you can add that between Alvang and Elsreth there are some reef areas (give them some names!), where the beast is supposedly sighted more often than anywhere else and that sailors are advised to avoid these areas at all costs.

Habitat/Behaviour.
Suggest an addition here at this sentence (marked in yellow):
"Or it can be assumed that sailors have rather bad luck during the daytime to encounter one - on the other hand looking for the famous Ancythrian Bladeserpent shouldn not be the primary pastime for a bored sailor...

Mating/Myth.
I wouldn't go for the "myth only" approach which seems to be suggested here ("only one serpent"). That's highly unlikely actually. So I would suggest a population of quite a bunch is supposed to live near certain reefs, maybe there have been sightings of two together? But due to the fact that it is extremely dangerous to go there, ships take other routes and prefer not to investigate. Stories could abound for whole centuries that it is a creature Saban bred to defend Alvang from approaching ships mingling with his affairs. Also the sea is supposed to be quite a dark and eerie one in the center, so we definitely should have more than one monster there!

The Myth part to me ("creature of Baveras") doesn't sound very appropriate, so this is the part of the whole entry which would need quite a bit of more work, otherwise it's all (mostly) pretty fine with me:D  


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« Reply #10 on: 19 February 2006, 00:09:00 »

Check it out!



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« Reply #11 on: 20 February 2006, 12:42:00 »

Ok, I've integrated it, Chronusian - I've adjusted some more things here and there and hopefully added a bit more atmosphere and background where it still lacked a bit of that. But all in all it is now a very nice and thorough entry I guess:D  


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