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Author Topic: Woodboring Mite  (Read 8707 times)
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Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels
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« Reply #15 on: 22 August 2006, 05:33:05 »

Please go again through my comment, cover all I asked for and color your changes.

some additional remarks:




„or more individuals. that exists around the countryside through out the part of Sarvonia to then north of Heckra“

Unclear sentence

„approximatly 10 individual segments“

Why approximately, has it to do with growth?

how can the minute wings carry them?

Why has it a stinger if there is no use for it?

„This would have something to do with the temperatures.“

this is not a well formed sentence

Why do they migrate to the south in winter? there is snow and ice as well. What about frost and ice and snow?
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Niccoli
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« Reply #16 on: 22 August 2006, 21:35:36 »

did you notice the size of the little critters? slightly longer than the width of a finger, it isn't going to take much in the way of wings to get that airborne.
As to the approximations, obviously you'd have to get a specimen, and of course, it would have to be dead, or it would be rather hard to get the numbers. Do we have a santharian equivelent to a low powered microscope? or a magnifying glass?
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Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels
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« Reply #17 on: 22 August 2006, 21:58:29 »

I did, your beasts are 14mm long and that is not too small, "minute" is a bit vague and doesn't sound as if the wings can carry an insect this long. I think you could even count the segments (if there are 10 or 11)without a magnifying glass. But we do have glasses for people, so we have magnifying glasses as well, might be a precious tool of a researcher.

It shouldn't be too hard to get some of your specimen to have a close look at them and to discover distinctions between them. You should even be able to get the big central one. Don't say "not much is known" to avoid description. Santharian researchers are known for their thirst for infos and their success! I could even imagine that one researcher got hold of a whole cloud , maybe with magical help (ask in the magic forum how this could be done!)
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Artimidor Federkiel
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« Reply #18 on: 23 August 2006, 03:47:08 »

I see you want to use Quellion's picture for this entry, this here:



Basically that sounds ok, but poses the question: What kind of race/tribe is actually depcited here, who is attacked by this swarm? A Goblin (Gob-Oc) perhaps?
« Last Edit: 23 August 2006, 03:51:22 by Artimidor Federkiel » Logged



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« Reply #19 on: 23 August 2006, 04:02:58 »

Some more notes:

- I see the title of the entry has changed to "Woodboring Mite". That's good, because the entry should be about the mite, not a swarm of mites. You can mention that the mites form a swarm, though. However, throughout the entry you refer only to a mite swarm, also in the Overview. Here it doesn't really fit, also at various passages further down. Change that accordingly - the single one is the main focus.

- You might also give the mite a secondary name, or a primary name and add "Woodboring Mite" as the secondary.

- Overview part could be a bit longer and more detailed.

- Approximately too many approximatelys here (note the correct spelling!):

Quote
The individual mite is approximatly one nailsbredth and two grains long, and possesses a body divided into approximatly 10 individual segments, all of which are coloured a muddy brown. The mite has approximatly

- Territory: Well, what kind of conditions do they really prefer? At the border of swamps perhaps? Within certain forests? You aren't very specific here.
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« Reply #20 on: 23 August 2006, 05:41:07 »

The mites on the pic are a bit bigger than.. 14mm.
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« Reply #21 on: 23 August 2006, 22:49:41 »

Artistic interpretation mayhaps? you wouldn't really be able to get that close...
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« Reply #22 on: 24 August 2006, 17:39:52 »

1. The insects depicted in the picture certainly don't look like mites to me.  Perhaps you can make them some other sort of insect.  Termites, maybe. 

2. They seem to have less than 4 pairs of legs.  The one most prominently shown has 5 legs visible, and most of the others seem to have 6 legs. 

3. Your description of them makes them seem like a very dangerous species, sort of like airborne army ants (which would be bad enough if they really existed), but worse, because they are omnivorous.  I think you might want to tone it down a little. 
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« Reply #23 on: 26 August 2006, 15:43:50 »

Any news from here, Niccoli? Update time would be this Sunday if you can make final adjustments.
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« Reply #24 on: 27 August 2006, 15:50:56 »

I'll finish this one for this week's update.
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« Reply #25 on: 28 August 2006, 23:08:17 »

reading through this quickly.. mac doesnt allow me to enter codes?! oh well, ill use hard returns to seperate my comments from the text. sorry for the inconvenience (minor text edits are in full caps)



Basic Overview of the Beast
The mite swarm is a group of minute insects existing collectivly as an airborne pestillence containing thousands or more individuals. that exists around the countryside through out the part of Sarvonia to then north of Heckra.

 sentence still doesnt make sence. "--- thousands of individuals. They can be found around the countryside  almost everywhere north of mount Heckra." would be a nice replacement imho.

         Appearance
The individual mite is approximatly one nailsbredth and two grains long

that is verry precise, actualy.. little approximate about it :D

, and possesses a body divided into approximatly 10 individual segments, all of which are coloured a muddy brown. The mite has approximatly 4 pairs of legs.

the amount of segments and legs may vary?

It possesses minute translucent wings, like those of a beetle, and a pointed stinger like protusion at the end of the body. While this may not do anything it does add to the confusion of discerning whether it is a swarm of hornets or mites. The swarm itself is a loose cloud, appearing to be a group of fast-moving brown dots. A larger central dot will move before the rest of the cloud and is difficult to track. Generally it is easier to find the aftermath of the mites than the beasts themselves.

         Special Abilities
The mite swarm is capable of ingesting almost any organic material. They will move collectivley to avoid being eaten by larger creatures. As a group the mites are almost unstoppable.

i see Art has already ok-ed this, but personally i would ask for a little more detail on this ability, as im sure there is more to be told here..


         Territory
The mite swarm exists selectivly in a band of Sarvonia between Nyermersis and MOUNT Heckra from coast to coast. The insects will venture further south but is seldomly seen, and the swarm appears to be smaller, they are not seen anywhere past Santhala. They are more PROMINENT to the north, but do not travel further than Dragon's Maw. This would have something to do with the temperatures. The mites migrate to the south during the winter months, and seem to hibernate, eating very little and becomming near impossible to find.

near impossible suggests it can be done.. where do they hibernate then?

       
 Habitat/Behavior
The mite swarm seem to move around a central insect, which is larger than the others. This insect will move before the others and appears to be their leader. The swarm will avoid bodies of water of more than 3 peds in diametre, but will go around the water, fly over rivers, or simply go another way. The sasfest place to be if a mite attacks is in the middle of the nearest pond. Mites also seem to avoid fire, however small the flames may be.

nothing on the habitat (type of country they prefer) apart from the water bit. a bit more on the behaviour would be appreciated as well.

         Diet
The mite is completly omnivorous, anything organic, living or dead is on its menu. (INSERTED END OF LINE) Textiles, wood, plants and flesh are all free for eating. However, this being said, the mites tend to feast on wood and crops, as the other forms of food generally envolve having to go inside houses, which is difficult for the mites, as they

as they what?

The signs of mites are usually obvious. Very little is generally left whole, rocks and stones will be unscathed, BUT crops will be destroyed as if by wildfire, buildings will be empty of life, fabrics with holes and chunks torn out of them. Many half eaten corpses of both people and animals, trees striped bare of their leaves and bark, chunks torn out of the wood. Entire streches can look like veritable wastelands.


         Mating
There is very little known about the mites, they appear to hatch from eggs, which are layed under the leaves of trees. The eggs are green and brown in colour. Eggs that are pure brown do not appear to hatch. This could be because they have a defect in them.

do we know something about the male/female ratio? (most swarm insects are not 50% male/50% female) mating period? hatching period? do they guard their eggs? etc etc


I know i have commented heavilly on this entry, even though it has already been prepared by our dear webmaster. Thus, i cannot claim you will HAVE to make changes accordingly in order to get uploaded, but it would be verry much appreciated, for i feel there is a lot more to be told about these interesting insects.
I do not in any way wish to denounce you with this list of comments, since i think there has already been a lot of time put into this. (and it shows, i realy did like the idea) But, as we all strive for perfection  :)

(hint; use www.spellcheck.net, it works perfectly for me. (if you don't mind using american spelling))

Good luck,
Miraran Tehuriden
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Irid alMenie
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« Reply #26 on: 29 August 2006, 00:52:40 »

Miraran, you were just a tad bit too late: this entry was included in sunday's update, with a little additional information by Arti ;)
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