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Arceon
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« Reply #30 on: 22 October 2006, 19:45:04 »
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Mainly used Talia's comments and suggestions for this new try of making a compendium entry.

As we say in Croatia:

"Proljetno čišćenje je gotovo!"
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« Reply #31 on: 22 October 2006, 22:52:20 »
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I try to get to your submission tomorrow morning, Arceon
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« Reply #32 on: 23 October 2006, 09:48:14 »
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Nearly done, Arceon. I skimmed over it and it looks good. There are a few weird sentences still and one or two inconsistencies, I will give it a last spellcheck/grammar check (as far as I'm able to) later.
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« Reply #33 on: 23 October 2006, 23:18:03 »
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Categorisation:  Land Monsters

Overview:

This beast is known all over the Aeruillin continent, though it resides only in parts of the Sveltash desert . It is a worm-like creature that generally feeds on smaller desert animals. It is called Moonmouth because of the mystical bright light coming from behind of monsters teeth. Although it seems to exist in quite some numbers, one cannot find it easily.

There are not this many uses that they deserve a place in the overview. 

 
 Appearance:

This worm-like monster is over twelve peds long and a bit smaller than a ped in diameter. It has a circular mouth that opens wide in a symmetrical way , till it is about one and a half peds or more in diameter. The first one to two peds of its body are swelling as well, though it doesn‘t reach the size as the opening . With this mouth it can swallow animals up to the size of a goat, or, as lore tells us   very big individuals even a man, although this  was never proofed   {} Actually, this could be possible with an opening possible of one and a half peds, you cannot lessen the width of the mouth, for your monster is so big. And then a human would fit in! The beast is able to do this quite quickly and produce some under pressure, so that smaller animals are drawn towards it () into the mouth. There they are trapped with four rows of sharp and backwards pointing teeth which  prevent a once caught animal to escape.  They are around a palmspan long.

This was meant as an idea which you should rephrase with your own words! ;)
 

The moonmouth has only one bone , ()the spine bone which helps manoeuvring in the deeper  sands . Growing from the spine close to one of its ends is also a half of a ped long flattened horn with a sharp top, which leads to the assumption that Moonmouths use it to dig their  tunnels.

The monster {} is blind but because of its special  senses and {} it doesn’t need any eyes to locate its prey.

Its smooth skin is dark brown with stains of even darker brown (but not black),  it has small humps and very small {} holes, which are hard to see and a   shiny surface. The skin helps the gems on its back glow more brightly.
How this? You need to tell first, that there are gems!  Skip it here!

Young Moonmouths have a light pink skin with stains of dark pink. Many times skin is covered with sand because the holes emit a strange fluid that is cold and sticky.
Do they have these gems as well? I would say no, if you follow my proposal, that they are build through sand they eat and transform
The weight[color=#] of an grownout adult [/color] is estimated to be from eight to ten pygges.

On their back is a band of jewels that get smaller from their front side to the back of their body, which slightly shimmers in the moonlight. Another jewel is to be found behind monsters third row of teeth. That jewel is used for dazing their victims.

You need to tell ore about these „jewels“ , maybe better say, „jewellike stones“ are embedded in their skin. They are extensions from their spine and penetrate the skin when the monster gets older.???

 Special Abilities:

One of the main capabilities of the monster is to dig tunnels in loose sand and to form a permanent tunnel network from them. They are preventing the tunnels from collapsing with a strange, sticky fluid which is produced in the tiny holes of the skin  freetes is not a good comparison
 The other ability is the hypnosis with help of a mystical pulsating bright light in their mouth which is the  source of its name. The light itself has some dark stains over it. It comes from the back of their teeth and it usually dazes their prey. Although it is not meant to be used on humans, it can be useful enough for hunting animals at night.
Arceon, I want you to rephrase this. Hypnosis is in my opinion not something you can use in this context, nor do I know, if it was used in the middle ages. (the word) .
I don‘t know, what you are meaning with dark staines and why you need it. Our moon has no such darker areas like the earthern moon. (At least not yet, and probably never.

  Maybe its most remarcable feature apart from the dazzling light in its mouth is its special sense for vibrations. It allows it to detect movements on the
  surface of the desert while it is in its tunnels . This is not only how they {} know when there is a larger or a smaller party crossing over the desert, it can sense the movements of its prey while hunting and so determine its location.  . It is estimated that they can sense any vibration at(?)   the distance of three dashes. Due to the fact that their tunnels reach 3 peds below ground, that is approximate depth of their sense limit.
Only three peds? Then even I would sense if a caravan is trampling over me! 30 peds for such a big monster would be not too deep, otherwsie people could easily dig it out!
 

 
 Territory:

They roam mainly in the northeast region of the Sveltash desert
on the continent of Aeruillin.
 
Habitat

 
Their tunnels are from one and a half peds high and they can be for leagues long.
The grammar is of, but apart from that, I supose the tunnels are of the diameter of the worms themselves - how would they make the tunnels wider than they are?
 In them they have caves (?) were their females put their eggs and food. There is a central circular den in each tunnel network with the diameter of 13 peds.
The only time a tunnel can be investigated is when it has collapsed. The fluid used by Moonmouths is covering the floor of the tunnel; Why? I imagined the sticky stuff to dry somehow and to harden the sand of the walls. This dried out stuff could get fluid again, but how could a man then go inot a tunnel? Parts need to be intact.so many ‘’rooms’’ and ‘’hallways’’ are preserved for further investigation. I don‘t understand that. The often intact entrance to these collapsed tunnels are often used by rare travellers {} as a resting place that is easy to defend, and covered from unwanted looks.
 

Behaviour:

Usually the Moonmouths roam in groups of one male and three or four females.
Because their numbers are so few are they so few? they have a lot of room to move in the desert but sometimes a youngmale comes into another male‘s tunnel system and then they are particularly dangerous.
It often happens with a younger male looking for a new place for starting a tunnel system.
It is said, that the battle of two males can be so boisterous, that it feels like small earthquakes occur and the sand of the dunes shifts quicker than normally.

Why are these batttles dangerous, for whom? what happens, could an old male be killed by a young one?

 

They spend their lifetime, which is around 50 human years long (as confirmed by many explorers in that area) making and improving their tunnels and spreading them if possible.
Only to write, that it is confirmed by many explorers (are there many?) is a bit too easy. Why don‘t you say either, that the pattern on their skin indicates the age or, maybe even better, with the pattern you can tell individuals from each other and so one traveller might  have seen a  young still pink worm one day with a special pattern (  a heartshape, lol) and another recogmised it 50 years later...

Due to the fact, that bigger prey is scarce in the Sveltash, unwary travellers and explorers are a welcome addition.
To what, I thin it is in the wrong place here

Larger caravan seem to provide some shelter from attacks, maybe because the many different vibrations caused by such a large group is fairly unknown to the worms and even prevents them from locating a single prey.
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
Diet:

Moonmouth’s diet consists of small desert animals like .. and groundbirds and even desert plants. They mainly eat what they can find, including unlucky humans if they get hold of one .

 They have an interesting way of protecting their food from other Moonmouths and other animals that can in any way penetrate the “storage room”:
One Moonmouth comes to the dead animal and takes it with his teeth and carries it deeply into its tunnel were it spits a fluid on that animal. This way food can be protected for days in the desert.  The Moonmouths eat only on the surface and only when it is night outside. They take the prey and bring it on the sand again to eat it.
This is a bit problematic here, for till now you have only said, that they catch animlas with their dazzling light. If you want to preserve something, you need a way to either kill without devouring it immediatly or say, that they eat carcass as well. How often they would find one, don‘t know. Better you invent a way for them to kill and not eat up all. Maybe they just bite bigger animlas firmly and then drag them to their den.

 Also if Moonmouth catch a larger prey it has to hypnotise it before it can draw the prey to it's lair because Moonmouth's skin is not very protected so it try to disable the victims defence before the worm can strike at it. These beasts hunt only at night because their lights are brighter then, which helps them hunt for larger animals or even humans.
  Again, please avoid the hypnotise. Its pulsating light dazzles any unaware animal, it just needs to aim for the head. It wouldn‘t matter, if it gets a scar now and then from a struggling animal, it could even happen, that a moonmouth catches something which it cannot swallow and then it wouid die!
 

Mating:

On the beginning of their maturity which is at the beginning of their twentieth year of life (as also confirmed by explorers),
how? changing of the colour?
 they all who are in that age gather together in a place which is usually in the centre of the desert to dance a ritual dance in which males choose their females. Usually females know when they will hatch eggs so with by their screams they  call males for the mating. Males start to make circles around the females and then the females do the same after what a male screams and then goes into the ground were he is preparing for impregnating the eggs. The dance lasts for a day. The maleMoonmouths, which don’t find their mate first, dance and dance until they die from lack of food and water. The dance leaves a great crater with many holes in it. Popular legend about the crater is that on that place the gods first came down from heavens. No, pleae skip this, this goes to much in cosmology which is written differently already Female goes to the male’s tunnel and lays eggs without outer shells. They also use their body fluid to protect the eggs, but that doesn’t protect them for a long time. After laying the eggs the male comes and impregnates them. Small Moonmouths then live in the same den where they were born to their tenth year of life, when they already reach from five to eight peds in length. Because young Moonmouths come to the surface even rarer then their parents, nobody knows exactly how the grown ones teach the younglings to hunt and to dig.

Please read my old comments to this part. You need to get the males/females away from that dancing place fist!
 
So much for today!
.
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« Reply #34 on: 25 October 2006, 21:22:54 »
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Latest entry on Moonmouths, please comment!
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« Reply #35 on: 25 October 2006, 22:17:44 »
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As soon as I get to it.
Artemis will have a look soon (not before friday though)
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"For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path   that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel looking,  breathlessly. ~Don Juan"
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« Reply #36 on: 25 October 2006, 23:19:22 »
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This is completely off topic, however do I was wondering if you were going to have Artemis look over my dog as well for final find tuning so it can be updated.
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« Reply #37 on: 26 October 2006, 20:39:43 »
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Yes, Drasil, I sent her the link to your entry as well.
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"For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path   that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel looking,  breathlessly. ~Don Juan"
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« Reply #38 on: 26 October 2006, 21:23:39 »
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Arceon, I will rearrange your sentences a bit - I‘m not sure, if they are good english or not, though I‘m not sure about mine either..  The first death doesn‘t say us much, has no relevance. Either let Iberias tell us about the event or ad, that when the first man died that this was the first time that somebody had survived such an attack and the myth became reality, maybe because they could show the second dead animal

RESEARCHERS:

A Zarathian man named Iberas (1750. b.S.-1700. b.S.) was a famous trader to the city of Nys. His party was trapped on their way from Shan'Zarathan to Nys by two horrible worm creatures. With their miserable weapon supply they succeeded to kill one beast but another one ate a friend of Iberas. Another Moonmouth killed Iberas years later and this is how one of his companions described his leaders death:

What about this:

Iberias, a  trader of Shan’Zarathan, was one of the most known adventures of his time. He crossed the Sveltash desert without fear on his way to Nys, the town at the eastern shores of Aeruillin. His encounter with two Moonmouths during one of his travels made this monster which lived so far only in the lore of the adjacent tribes to a reality. For the first time its existence was proved. Sadly Iberias found his death  through another of these monsters around 1700b.S.. The reports about the death of one his companions, his own experience with one of them, his drawings and especially the parts of the monster he brought back to Nys made him famous:

One of the men reported:



“We all fought for our lives there. It was the scariest thing in my life, you know. When one of the beasts just crawled out of the sand and opened its terrible mouth. There was Iberas, right in front of the beast not moving his muscles. I just jumped and pushed him away thus exposing myself to the danger. Those terrible teeth jumped for him and took a bite out of him, you know! I took his axe and slashed the monster myself to tiny little pieces thus saving all of my l company except one, you know!”

Iberias himself describes his experience like this

Here you need to add, what Iberias was feeling when he stared at the monster, how he could not move...


From this story and many other stories about Moonmouths that were told to them later on by other people, men all around Aeruillin concluded that Iberas was in some way disabled and incapable of defending himself from the beast.

disabled is good, so you can assume anything


 
 MYTH/LORE:

If you ask any inhabitant of Dion about Moonmouths, he will surely tell you this story:
 

'' The High Goddess Nakashi created strange creatures in the sea to help travellers crossing the seas. She put in them a wreath of jewels that had the power to show the way for each ship that crossed the Burning Sea at night. Years had passed and Moonmouths were almost a different race in that time, with their culture, underwater homes no comma in the Burning Sea, and even alanguage though it was so different from ours that we might not have realised it was a language. But as all races they started to want power and they   realised that they have power to so when their ruler died they put up another one; evil in his soul desired power and wealth. He started to envy all other races that could freely walk on the surface of the earth.
The king of the  Moonmouth ordered to attack each ship that was sailing on the seas, some of them did so but the other opposed, those   were banished by their king. So began a civil war in which no one took advantage. Finally   the High Goddess Nakashi involved and stopped this war by banishing all Moonmouths that had followed the king into the desert. She cursed them also by not allowing them to ever feel the touch of water   again. Many years have past and the beautiful voices they had turned into terrifying screams and they forgot that they had been sentient beings. But they never got rid of their hatred of other races so they still attack them as worm-like creatures. As for those who didn’t joined the king The High Goddess sent them to the Unknown.''


That is the rest for now, if you have integrated it, give me a ring and I look a last time over your submission.
« Last Edit: 26 October 2006, 21:27:26 by Talia Sturmwind » Logged

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« Reply #39 on: 26 October 2006, 22:44:35 »
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The rest, mainly typos



CATEGORISATION:

Land Monsters

OVERVIEW:

This beast is known all over the Aeruillin continent, though it resides only in parts of the Sveltash desert. It is a worm-like creature that generally feeds on smaller desert animals. It is called Moonmouth because of the mystical bright light coming from behind the monsters teeth. Although it seems to exist in quite some numbers, one cannot find it easily.

 
 
 APPEARANCE:

This worm-like monster is over twelve peds long and a bit smaller than a ped in diameter. It has a circular mouth hole that opens wide in a symmetrical way, till it is about one and a half peds or more in diameter. The first one to two peds of its body are swelling as well, though it doesn‘t reach the size as the opening. With this mouth it can swallow animals up to the size of a goat, or, as lore tells us comma very big individuals even a man, although this was never proofed. The beast is able to do this quite quickly and to produce some underpressure , so that smaller animals are drawn towards it into the mouth. There they are trapped with four rows of sharp and backwards pointing teeth which prevent a once caught animal to escape. They are around a palmspan long.

 
The Moonmouth has only one bone, the spine bone which helps manoeuvring in the deeper sands. Growing from the spine close to one of its ends is also a half of a ped long flattened horn with a sharp top, which leads to the assumption that Moonmouths use it to dig their tunnels.

The monster has no eyes , but because of its special senses there are none necessary, for it has different means .  to locate its prey.

Its smooth skin is dark brown with stains of even darker brown (but not black), it has small humps and very small holes, which are hard to see on its shiny surface. Young Moonmouths have a light pink skin with stains of dark pink. These beasts usually have unique colour patterns on their back with which researchers can say how old is the monster or  if they  saw this monster before.   These patterns are often broken with scares of struggling prey. Some jewel-like stones are embedded in their skin behind the horn. They are extensions from their spine and penetrate the skin when the monster gets older. Another of those stones can be found behind the monster’s third row of teeth.
 
The weight of a grown out adult is estimated to be from eight to ten pygges.

 SPECIAL ABILITIES:

One of the main capabilities of the monster is to dig tunnels in loose sand and to form a permanent tunnel network out of them. They are preventing the tunnels from collapsing with a strange, sticky fluid, which is produced in the tiny holes of the skin.
The following sounds still a bit arckward, let me try it
The other ability is the daze with the help of a mystical pulsating bright light in their mouth, which is the source of its name. It comes from the back of their teeth and it usually dazes their prey. Although it is not meant to be used on humans, it can be useful enough for hunting animals at night.

What gave the  Moonmouth its name is its ability to produce a mystical pulsating light inside its mouth. It comes from a source behind its teeth and has an addling and dazing effect on those who see it.  At night, when the Moonmouth hunts, it seems to paralise the prey. Humans who have faced a monster and survived it tell repeatedly, that they saw the moon in its throat.
 
 Maybe its most remarkable feature apart from the dazzling light in its mouth is its special sense for vibrations. It allows it to detect movements on the surface of the desert while it is in its tunnels. This is not only how they know when there is a larger or a smaller party crossing over the desert semicolon ; it can sense the movements of its prey while hunting and so determine its location. It is estimated that they can sense a larger vibration at the distance of three dashes and smaller ones at one and a half dashes. Due to the fact that their tunnels reach 70 peds below ground, that is approximate depth of their sense limit. Larger caravans seem to provide some shelter from attacks, maybe because the many different vibrations caused by such a large group is fairly unknown to the worms and even prevents them from locating a single prey.
 
 
TERRITORY:

They roam mainly in the northeast region of the Sveltash desert
on the continent of Aeruillin.
 
HABITAT

 
Their tunnels are one ped high and they can be for leagues long, sometimes going up and sometimes more deeply into the sand.
 
 In them they have caves were their females put their eggs and food. There is a central circular den in each tunnel network with the diameter of thirteen peds.
The only time a tunnel can be investigated is when it has collapsed. The fluid used by Moonmouths to harden their tunnels has partly withered and is not glueing  the grains of sand   together anymore, making the system inhabitable for the worms; so many ‘’rooms’’ and ‘’hallways’’ are preserved for further use of those tunnels. The often-intact entrance to these collapsed tunnels are often used by rare travellers as a resting place that is easy to defend, and covered from unwanted looks.
 

BEHAVIOUR:

Usually the Moonmouths roam in groups of one male and three or four females.
Although their numbers are not so few they have a lot of room to move in the desert because different Moonmouths dig their tunnels on different depths. Sometimes a young male comes into another male‘s tunnel system and then they battle each other for domination over territory. Although their battle is very brutal no Moomouth is killed in it. () you said this already
It is said, that the battle of two males can be so boisterous, that it feels  as if small earthquakes occur and the sand of the dunes shifts quicker than normally.

 

They spend their lifetime, which is around 50 human years long (as researchers found out from their patterns) making and improving their tunnels and spreading them if possible.

DIET:

Moonmouth’s diet consists of small desert animals like dune mice, sandrolers live mostly in the Rahaz-dath, Aeruillin is not mentioned  --  inja related goats , groundbirds and even desert plants. They mainly eat what they can find, including unlucky humans if they get hold of one.

 They have an interesting way of protecting their food from other Moonmouths and other animals that can in any way penetrate the “storage room”:
One Moonmouth comes to the carcass of an animal (or it just bites a living one thus leaving it to bleed to death) and takes it with his teeth and carries it deeply into its tunnel were it spits a fluid on that animal. This way food can be protected for days in the desert.  The Moonmouths eat only on the surface and only when it is night outside. They take the prey and bring it on the sand again to eat it.


  If Moonmouth catch a larger prey it has to daze it before it can draw the prey to its lair because Moonmouth's skin is not very protected so it try to disable the victims defence before the worm can strike at it. These beasts hunt only at night because their lights are brighter then, which helps them hunt for larger animals or even humans.
The pragraph doesn‘t belong here but under abilites , but it doesn‘tmake much sense, for it dazes all prey, just skip it please. 
Comments
 

MATING:

On the beginning of their maturity which is at the beginning of their twentieth year of life they all who are in that age gather together in a place which is usually in the centre of the desert to dance a ritual dance in which males choose their females.
pleae break this sentence up!
On the beginning of their maturity ,  at the beginning of their twentieth year of life,  all who are in that age gather together in one place in the centre of the desert. there they perform a ritual dance ..
 

Usually females know when they will lay eggs by lightening of their brown skin so with by their screams they call males for the mating.
That makes no sense, the females surely know without the changing of their skin colour that their eggs are ripe for fertilisation. I meant they change colour from pink to brown when they are with eggs for the first time, so researchers could tell that they become adults when seeing the colour change. The have no eyes, remember. Let them just scream..
 Males start to make circles around the females and then the females do the same after what a male screams and then he goes with his female on ground to his tunnel where he prepares to impregnate the eggs. The dance lasts for a day. The male Moonmouths, which don’t find their mate first, dance and dance until they die from lack of food and water. The dance leaves a great crater with many holes in it. Female goes to the male’s tunnel and lays eggs without outer shells. They also use their body fluid to protect the eggs, but that doesn’t protect them for a long time. After laying the eggs the male comes and impregnates them. Small Moonmouths then live in the same den where they were born to their tenth year of life, when they already reach from five to eight peds in length. Because young Moonmouths come to the surface even rarer then their parents, nobody knows exactly how the grown ones teach the younglings to hunt and to dig.

  Aceon, your mating section is still fairly unclear. I would propose to skip it entirely, for which researcher would have found such a place, have observed it, looked after the eggs etc? We are here not in Santharia but in a wild region. I would just say, that due to  dangerousness of the beasts nothing is known, but that strange craters in the middle of the desert are thought to be mating grounds for them.. That‘s enough.

 
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"For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path   that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel looking,  breathlessly. ~Don Juan"
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« Reply #40 on: 27 October 2006, 18:57:12 »
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I'l get on it tomorrow Talia grin.
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« Reply #41 on: 28 October 2006, 22:37:59 »
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Newest version!

Deleted Mating section!
Changed typo mistakes!
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« Reply #42 on: Yesterday at 19:55:59 »
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Ok, Arceon, nearly done. Just some fine adjustments needed and two parts which were still a bit unclear or too detailed.
This is a nice monster, a great addition to the Aeruillin continent.
If you have changed the last things, please put the blue arrow up!




CATEGORISATION:

Land Monsters

OVERVIEW:

This beast is known all over the Aeruillin continent, though it resides only in parts of the Sveltash desert. It is a worm-like creature that generally feeds on smaller desert animals. It is called Moonmouth because of the mystical bright light coming from behind the monsters teeth. Although it seems to exist in quite some numbers, one cannot find it easily.

 
 
 APPEARANCE:

This worm-like monster is over twelve peds long and a bit smaller than a ped in diameter. It has a circular mouth hole that opens wide in a symmetrical way, till it is about one and a half peds or more in diameter. The first one to two peds of its body are swelling as well, though it doesn‘t reach the size as the opening. With this mouth it can swallow animals up to the size of a goat, or, as lore tells us, very big individuals even a man, although this was never proofed. The beast is able to do this quite quickly and to produce some under pressure, so that smaller animals are drawn towards it into the mouth. There they are trapped with four rows of sharp and backwards pointing teeth which prevent a once caught animal to escape. They are around a palmspan long.

 
The Moonmouth has only one bone, the spine bone which helps manoeuvring in the deeper sands. Growing from the spine close to the head  is also a half of a ped long flattened horn with a sharp top, which leads to the assumption that Moonmouths use it to dig their tunnels.

Arceon, I‘m not sure about this spine bone - do you imagine it as one bone or as a set of bones, well, a spinal column? I don‘t know, how it should move with one bone.

Do you imagine it like this?..   ..has only one set of bones, the spinal column, which helps it manoeuvring.....


The monster has no eyes, but because of its special senses there are none necessary, for it has different means to locate its prey.

Its smooth skin is dark brown with stains of even darker brown (but not black), it has small humps and very small holes, which are hard to see on its shiny surface. Young Moonmouths have a light pink skin with stains of dark pink. These beasts usually have unique colour patterns on their back with which researchers can say how old is the monster or if they saw this monster before.   These patterns are often broken with scares of struggling prey.
Here I know what you mean, but I think the English is a bit off (not sure though), maybe formulate it like this:
 These patterns are often broken due to scares caused by struggling prey which managed to injure the Moonmouth‘s skin  .

Some jewel-like stones are embedded in their skin behind the horn. They are extensions from their spine and penetrate the skin when the monster gets older. Another of those stones can be found behind the monster’s third row of teeth.
 
The weight of a grown out adult is estimated to be from eight to ten pygges.

 SPECIAL ABILITIES:

One of the main capabilities of the monster is to dig tunnels in loose sand and to form a permanent tunnel network out of them. They are preventing the tunnels from collapsing with a strange, sticky fluid, which is produced in the tiny holes of the skin.
 
What gave the Moonmouth its name is its ability to produce a mystical pulsating light inside its mouth. It comes from a source behind its teeth and has an addling and dazing effect on those who see it.  At night, when the Moonmouth hunts, it seems to paralyse the prey. Humans who have faced a monster and survived it tell repeatedly, that they saw the moon in its throat.
 
 Maybe its most remarkable feature apart from the dazzling light in its mouth is its special sense for vibrations. It allows it to detect movements on the surface of the desert while it is in its tunnels. This is not only how they know when there is a larger or a smaller party crossing over the desert; it can sense the movements of its prey while hunting and so determine its location. It is estimated that they can sense a larger vibration at the distance of three dashes and smaller ones at one and a half dashes. Due to the fact that their tunnels reach 70 peds below ground, that is approximate depth of their sense limit.
I‘m not sure about grammar in this sentence, then, what you exactly mean with depth- limit (is is less due to the sand?) AND thinking at the discussions on the board what is possible and what not, I would propose, to make this a bit more vague as well (A monster is far more a monster, if you don‘t know such details. ) May I propose following?Please reword if you like.

Maybe its most remarkable feature apart from the dazzling light in its mouth is its special sense for vibrations. It allows it to detect movements on the surface of the desert while it is in its tunnels. This is not only how they know when there is a larger or a smaller party crossing over the desert; it can sense the movements of its prey while hunting and so determine its location.
It is not known, how far this sense reaches. It is estimated that they can feel a larger vibration at the distance of three dashes,  smaller prey which causes less vibrations might pass at a closer distance. However, rumours don‘t cease, that this applies only for dawn and that in the night there is no limit. It may  depend as well from the depth in which the beast moves; it is said, that its tunnels reach up to 70 peds deep and that they are able to detect from there movements above their present location, however, there is no proof of this assumption.
 


Larger caravans seem to provide some shelter from attacks maybe because the many different vibrations caused by such a large group is fairly unknown to the worms and even prevents them from locating a single prey.
 
 
TERRITORY:

They roam mainly in the northeast region of the Sveltash desert
on the continent of Aeruillin.
 
HABITAT

 
Their tunnels are one ped high and  the up till now longest discovered  part was four leagues long; sometimes they are close to the surface and sometimes the reach more deeply into the sand.
 
 In them they have caves were their females put their eggs and food. There is a central circular den in each tunnel network with the diameter of up to thirteen peds.
The only time a tunnel can be investigated is when it has collapsed. The fluid used by Moonmouths to harden their tunnels has partly withered and is not gluing the grains of sand   together anymore, making the system inhabitable for the worms; so many ‘’rooms’’ and ‘’hallways’’ are preserved for further use of those tunnels. The often-intact entrance to these collapsed tunnels are often used by rare travellers as a resting place that is easy to defend, and covered from unwanted looks.
 

BEHAVIOUR:

Usually the Moonmouths roam in groups of one male and three or four females.
Although their numbers are not so few they have a lot of room to move in the desert because different Moonmouths dig their tunnels on different depths. Sometimes a young male comes into another male‘s tunnel system and then they battle each other for domination over territory. Although their battle is very brutal no Moomouth is killed in it.
It is said, that the battle of two males can be so boisterous, that it feels as if small earthquakes occur and the sand of the dunes shifts quicker than normally.

 

They spend their lifetime, which is around 50 human years long (as researchers found out from their patterns) making and improving their tunnels and spreading them if possible.

DIET:

Moonmouth’s diet consists of small desert animals like dune mice, groundbirds an occasional goat and even desert plants. They mainly eat what they can find, including unlucky humans if they get hold of one.

 They have an interesting way of protecting their food from other Moonmouths and other animals that can in any way penetrate the “storage room”:
One Moonmouth comes to the carcass of an animal (or it just bites a living one thus leaving it to bleed to death) and takes it with his teeth and carries it deeply into its tunnel were it spits a fluid on that animal. This way food can be protected for days in the desert.  The Moonmouths eat only on the surface and only when it is night outside. They take the prey and bring it on the sand again to eat it.


 RESEARCHERS:

Iberias, a trader of Shan’Zarathan, was one of the most known adventures of his time. He crossed the Sveltash desert without fear on his way to Nys, the town at the eastern shores of Aeruillin. His encounter with two Moonmouths during one of his travels made this monster, which lived so far only in the lore of the adjacent tribes to a reality. For the first time its existence was proved. Sadly Iberias found his death through another of these monsters around 1700b.S. The reports about the death of one his companions, his own experience with one of them, his drawings and especially the parts of the monster he brought back to Nys made him famous:

One of the men reported:

“We all fought for our lives there. It was the scariest thing in my life, you know. When one of the beasts just crawled out of the sand and opened its terrible mouth. There was Iberias, right in front of the beast not moving his muscles. I just jumped and pushed him away thus exposing myself to the danger. Those terrible teeth jumped for him and took a bite out of him, you know! I took his axe and slashed the monster myself to tiny little pieces thus saving all of my company except one, you know!”

Iberias himself describes his experience like this:

”I stared at the monsters mouth. It was opened and I saw a bright light coming from it. Something happened to me. I felt my eyes burn, but others said there was no flame in them. I tried to escape but for some reason I couldn’t move. Then I fell to the ground and suddenly my eyes were normal again. I don’t know what happened next because I fainted.”

From this story and many other stories about Moonmouths that were told to them later on by other people, men all around Aeruillin concluded that Iberias was in some way disabled and incapable of defending himself from the beast.

 MYTH/LORE:

If you ask any inhabitant of Dion about Moonmouths, he will surely tell you this story:
 

'' The High Goddess Nakashi created strange creatures in the sea to help travellers crossing the seas. She put in them a wreath of jewels that had the power to show the way for each ship that crossed the Burning Sea at night. Years had passed and Moonmouths were almost a different race in that time, with their culture, underwater homes in the Burning Sea, and even a language though it was so different from ours that we might not have realised it was a language. But as all races they started to want power and they   realised that they have power to so when their ruler died they put up another one; evil in his soul desired power and wealth. He started to envy all other races that could freely walk on the surface of the earth.
The king of the Moonmouths ordered to attack each ship that was sailing on the seas, some of them did so but the other opposed, those   were banished by their king. So began a civil war in which no one took advantage. Finally   the High Goddess Nakashi involved and stopped this war by banishing all Moonmouths that had followed the king into the desert. She cursed them also by not allowing them to ever feel the touch of water   again. Many years have past and the beautiful voices they had turned into terrifying screams and they forgot that they had been sentient beings. But they never got rid of their hatred of other races so they still attack them as worm-like creatures. As for those who didn’t joined the king The High Goddess sent them to the Unknown.''

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"For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path   that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel looking,  breathlessly. ~Don Juan"
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A month of hard work is finnaly worth of it!
Thanks to Talia for helping me bring this entry up and running!
*runs with a happy smile on his face*

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The best thing about dreams is that fleeting moment, when you are between asleep and awake, when you don't know the difference between reality and fantasy, when for just that one moment you feel with your entire soul that the dream is reality, and it really happened.
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Yesterday at 23:20:43
Yes, it's Arwen from LOTR. ^^
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Question for Kar is your portrait of Arwen from LOTR or is it something else
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Yesterday at 00:45:53
Oh no Arceon, yer not getting off the architectural hook that easilly! :P
28 October 2006, 20:02:06
ah well.. just some silly remarks anyway.

If anyone's bored, i'd appreciate a comment or two on my Chorakee birds!
28 October 2006, 20:01:00
Whew.. *wipes the sweat from his forehead*
Yet another project updatedone.. Tribal notes published, scedule updated with all sorts of fancy click-me's, and the first bits of the place entry written... *looks at the enormous pile of tomes he's been dragging from the library to his study all day* N
27 October 2006, 00:50:19
thank you
26 October 2006, 17:54:17
@colossuem: I've looked over the entry. Be aware that although drawing attention is of course always an option, sometimes people are simply busy ;) It happens, you know?
26 October 2006, 13:53:34
The snake shield has been the top of the miscellaneous forum for three days so i'd appreciate it if someone checked it
26 October 2006, 08:18:13
Yep - there's still a lot to do on the continents we have opened for development.

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