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Author Topic: Masýr Feníl (mantharian fisher cat)  (Read 8343 times)
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Niccoli
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« on: 28 November 2006, 06:50:37 »

Overview
The Mantharian Fisher Cat, or Masýr Feníl , as they are called by the Quaelhorhim who inhabit the nearby Zeiphyrian Woods, are a breed of cat native to Manthria. They haunt the coasts of the Manthrian province, and the various rivers that feed the Mashdai Reservoir. The cats are as wily as a fox and are bold enough to steal fish from the drying sheds and the barrels in the villages where they are kept.

Appearance
The Fisher Cat has cloudy fur, with gray and blue-gray spots, mixed with a bit of black or white. Due to their particular nature, this fur tends to have a very ruffled appearance and is waterproof.  The adult cat stands less than half a ped tall, and about a ped long. including the tail The Fisher Cat also has a shorter tail than most cats, which is less furred than the rest of its body. The tail flattens out into something of a narrow paddle shape and is used as a rudder in the water. The cat has strangely shaped eyes, very round, except at the bottom, where they are flat. A second, clear eyelid is concealed beneath the first and most likely serves to keep water out of the eyes when swimming. The cat's ears are rather slung back on the head, almost at the back of the head, and are smaller than most cats' ears. The cat's paws are webbed, and can spread out in the water while swimming.

Special Abilities
The Fisher Cat is known for having a waterproof fur, and a love of water, unlike most types of cats. Their paws are webbed to an extent and they have longer claws, which they use to scoop the fish out of the water.

Territory
The Fisher Cat is found throughout the province of Manthria and particularly near rivers and creeks. The cats can be found all around the various fishing villages that line the coasts, and the rivers and creeks that go to and from the Mashdai Reservoir.
   
Habitat/Behavior
The Fisher Cat tends to sit by a particularly bountiful (fishwise) stream or body of water and watch the fish go by. When one goes near enough the shore, the cat will do one of two things. For smaller fish, the cat will leap into the water and retrieve the fish with its fangs, or knock the fish onto dry land and wait for it to die. Fisher Cats seem to have an instinctive knowledge of how to get back to Manthria and can waste away and sometimes die when they are not near the Mashdai's waters.


Diet
The Fisher Cat eats fish, as its name implies, in as large quantities as its stomach can handle. They will also eat berries and birds, but their taste for fish greatly outweighs this.

Mating
Fisher cats mate as any other cat might do. The females will bear litters of two or three at most and are very motherly towards their kittens. The female cat will, oddly enough, carry little kittens in its mouth to the water and attempt to teach them to swim, though it is theorized that the cats are born with the knowledge of how to swim, or at least keep their heads above water.


Usages
The cats are occasionally kept as pets, however, most people regard them as pests like mice. In particular the people of the fishing villages, due  to the fact that they steal fish from the boats and the places they are stored. (This sentence is rather awkwardly worded--can you tighten it up a bit?)The people of some villages have actually trained the cats to do some of the fishing for them, similar to hawking. The cat fishes while some of the children watch it to make sure it doesn't eat the fish. The cat's mouth is sometimes covered with a muzzle to keep them from eating the fish, though this tends to reduce the efficiency of the cat.
« Last Edit: 15 August 2007, 23:05:11 by Niccoli » Logged

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« Reply #1 on: 29 November 2006, 05:22:46 »

I know your not finished but this is very short. I'd except a decent beast entry to have an absolute  minimum of two paragraphs. explain the beast limb length, it's teeth structure, its weight, its fur thickness, its eyes the shape of ears, anything to add more detail!!!

btw: I think that the use of _ instead of your beasts name is very lazy and should be corrected immeadiately

Flaming aside, its a good idea, so stick with.

Decipher Ziron
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Niccoli
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« Reply #2 on: 29 November 2006, 05:24:12 »

The name was added later and I have not yet decided which particular name I will use as the more common.
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Mirmec Rethindor
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« Reply #3 on: 29 November 2006, 11:20:28 »

this is good and clever. the second eyelid is very important to the nature of this cat.

now the forward slung ears did throw me off, if the creature swims through the water with its webbed claws, you would think the ears are streamlined too? backswept like fins?

some typos as mentioned. you did throw me with the cats mate idetically, not sure if you meant identically or eideticaly which is sort of like a cat mating from racial memory?? which would be cool and add to why the fisher cat is found only in that particular region?? sort of like how salmon swim back up river to drop their eggs, to the same place no matter where they go?? so you may want to explain that when this particular brand of fisher cat finds itself transplanted from its particular region by maybe stowing away on a ship, or being caught in a strong current and washed down river, or up coast, that it wastes away and dies etc...

also their fur, if they are that common, do folk trade their skins like leapord skins or are they pests as you hint and thus trashed like rat fur might be??

so you have a good idea, the most interesting thing i wondered about was the sounds they made on land vs. underwater/swimming. cat as meow on land, but in the water, maybe something a little more special??
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« Reply #4 on: 30 November 2006, 02:09:16 »

I'd like to suggest a Usage addition. Many cats and canines can be tamed. maybe in a certain region the fishermen have trained these cats to hunt fish for them, and feed the cat's a portion of what they bring to their owner. (like chinese fishermen with thm black birds.. whatstheirnames...)
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Niccoli
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« Reply #5 on: 30 November 2006, 05:10:27 »

or like hawking. I see where you are going with this...
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« Reply #6 on: 05 December 2006, 05:09:56 »

Alright, made an addition, the idea of a fishing equivalent to hawking is intriguing at worst and most tempting at best so i decided I would work it into the existing. Its already in there. Please comment.
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Drasil Razorfang
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« Reply #7 on: 07 December 2006, 05:26:42 »

Remember to color your changes.


Overview
The Mantharian Fisher Cat or Masýr Feníl as they are called by the Quaelhorhim who inhabit the Zeiphyrian Woods(...and?  As I assume you are going to see when you re-read this, this sentance has no point and is incomplete). They haunt the coasts of the Manthrian province, and the various rivers that feed the Mashdai Reservoir, and are bold enough to steal fish from the drying sheds and the barrels in the villages where they are kept. (I would be a little more descriptive here.  Add a bit more detail)

         Appearance
The Fisher Cat has cloudy fur, with gray and blue-gray spots, mixed with a bit of black or white. It stands less than half a ped tall, and about is a ped long. The Fisher Cat also has a shorter tail than most cats, which is less furred than the rest of its body and is used as a rudder in the water(What about shape?  A general cat's tail wouldn't make an effective rudder.  Maybe its similar to a beaver tail?). The cat has strangely shaped eyes very round, except towards the bottom, where they become flattened. A second, clear eyelid is concealed beneath the first and serves to keep water out of the eyes when swimming.(How would a mideval researcher be able to know this information?) The cat's ears are rather slung forward on the head, above the eyes in placement, and smaller than most cats' ears(Why aren't they pushed back?  It would help with swimming.). The cat's paws are webbed, for use in the water when swimming. (Right now I don't have a very good image of the beast.  Try to be a bit more descriptive here)

         Special Abilities
The Fisher Cat is known for having a water proof fur, and a love of water, unlike most types of cats. Their paws are webbed to an extent and they have longer claws, which they use to scoop the fish out of the water. I would appreciate it if you seperated each of these into bullet points and then defined each with a few sentances.  As of right now, you completely miss the point of the section, IMHO.  You want to define each ability, not list it)

         Territory
The Fisher Cat is found throughout the province of Manthria and particularly near rivers and creeks. The cats can be found all around the various fishing villages that line the coasts, and the rivers and creeks that go to and from the Mashdai Reservoir.Call in Art to check beast or maybe Grun or Bard Judith as this is their specialty
   
         Habitat/Behavior
The Fisher Cat tends to sit by a particularly bountiful stream or body of water and watch the fish go by. When one goes near the shore, the cat will do one of two things. For smaller fish, the cat will leap into the water and retrieve the fish with its fangs, or knock the fish on to dry land and wait for it to die. Fisher Cats seem to have an instinctive knowledge of how to get back to Manthria and will waste away and sometimes die when they are not near the Mashdai's waters. (Once again, elaborate, this description is quite elementary.  Is it a solitary animal?  Does it enjoy sleeping ect.  This would also be a good place to describe its peculiar love of the water.)


         Diet
The Fisher Cat eats fish, as it's name implies, in as large quantities as its stomach can handle. They will also eat berries and birds, but its taste for fish greatly outweighs this.(Grammar and spelling check needed here)

         Mating
Fisher cats mate identically to other forms of cat. The females will bear littlers of two or three at most and is, motherly if anything towards the kittens. The female cat will oddly enough, carry little kittens in it's mouth to the water and attempt to teach it, though this is theorized it may very well be that the cats are born with the knowledge of how to swim, or at least keep their heads above water.  (While you make a reference to the cat entry, elaborate a bit more.  Does this animal do a unique dance?  Maybe it partakes in a aquatic ritual?  Or presents a large gift of Fish to the female?)


Usages
The cats are occasionally kept as pets, however most regard them as pests like mice. In particular the people of the fishing villages, due to to the fact that they steal fish from the boats and the places they are stored. The people of some villages have actually trained the cats to do some of the fishing for them, similar to hawking. The cat fishes while some of the children watch it to make sure it doesn't eat the fish. The cat's mouths are sometimes covered with a muzzle to keep them from eating the fish. (What about as house pets?  I am sure plenty of rich women might want a cat to accompany them because of its exsquisite coat.  Or maybe they are raised in farms to be poached for their fur?)

Overall, your entry is generally to broad and lack description.  While you have some great ideas, you need to elaborate.  Also, the style is quite informal, hardly fitting of our Compendium and contains large numbers of run-ons which I did not mark.  A spell check might also be in order.
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Niccoli
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« Reply #8 on: 07 December 2006, 07:51:33 »

Thank you for commenting drasil...
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Niccoli
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« Reply #9 on: 15 December 2006, 21:19:30 »

Alright, it is time to ressurect the cat from the depths of the bestiary
I have spell checked the entry, completly ignored drasil's comment, and changed it one itsy little bit.
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« Reply #10 on: 15 December 2006, 22:03:19 »

Nice idea :)
My first impression would be that a ruffled fur and waterproof don't really mix. I would expect a very clean and smooth fur.

Do the ears have some safeguard as well to keep the water out?

If it's paws are webbed, does that mean it moves slower on land?



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« Reply #11 on: 16 December 2006, 03:07:43 »

....And because you ignored it, don't expect anymore from me.  Might I suggest going to Art or Mira.
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« Reply #12 on: 16 December 2006, 03:44:10 »

Drasil dear, unruffle your fur.

Niccoli needs to take into account (not necessarily integrate) all comments he receives.  If he has a good rationale for disagreeing with a suggestion, he'll have to take the time to explain why, and have an alternate detail or concept.  As it is, it seems to me that he simply hasn't put the effort into rewriting it yet.   Obviously this is just a quick edit to bring the Fishercat back to the top of the Bestiary so he can remember to do so - RIGHT, Niccoli?  (gives him a meaningful look over the tops of her glasses)


Oh, and Niccoli - please refrain from using incendiary language like 'ignore' to our moderators.  You are not yet so familiar with everyone's character that you can successfully tease them and not have it misunderstood.

I've read over the entry, and this is going to be a clever and appealing animal - but I can't put it better than Drasil did, minus HIS spelling errors:

"Overall, your entry is generally too broad and lacks description.  While you have some great ideas, you need to elaborate.  Also, the style is quite informal, hardly fitting our Compendium and contains large numbers of run-ons which I did not mark.  A spell check might also be in order."

Drasil hasn't given any specific critique, just general good sense,  so you don't need to be defensive; merely take the time and energy to flesh out your appealing feline and you'll be in a good way towards having two entries accepted.

Regards from the bard,
Judith
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Niccoli
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« Reply #13 on: 17 December 2006, 01:19:25 »

I did take Drasil's comments into account. I figure, since he will not be commenting on my topic anymore, there really isn't much point in following them.

As to the 'ignore' I wasn't teasing. I'm ignoring the entire post.
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« Reply #14 on: 17 December 2006, 01:27:11 »

Quote
I figure, since he will not be commenting on my topic anymore, there really isn't much point in following them.

They still make perfectly good sense, and some people (like me) do not comment untill all previous comments have been integrated, or reasonably denied. Also, Drasil is one of the best Bestiary people we have, and ignoring him might be a generaly bad idea, as you will be missing out on some usefull tips.
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