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Author Topic: Strata cow, some help for a revision  (Read 4291 times)
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Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels
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« on: 27 January 2007, 20:33:59 »

There are some things in this entry which just don‘t fit. With the cheese entry going up I thought I try to correct them. IThe first part is now in the correction thread, the territory as well - the other parts I rearranged, just put my comments in the text as usual and listed the ideas/proposals at the end, hope this helps.

THE STRATA MILKING COW

APPEARANCE - SPECIAL ABILITIES - TERRITORY
HABITAT/BEHAVIOUR -  DIET - MATING  - ORIGIN

The small, brown, delicate frame of the “Strata” is no hint to its milk production. This animal is well suited for the barren, dry climate it is situated in, and thrives there, under the close care of humans, of course. The milk production of this tan sweetie is enough to supply Thalambath, Bardavos and Strata with milk, butter, cheese and cream.

It is simply not possible, that there are so many cows that all these cities have enough milk products as the entry hints here. Some, but surely not as much as towns farther up have. Nomads have of course plenty of milk, not so desert towns, i think they just have other drinks. 

The milk production of this tan sweetie is enough to supply the upper classes of Thalambath and Strata as well as those of Bardavos, Uderza and Varcopas with milk, butter, cheese and cream.

Appearance.  Strata cows are generally shorter, leaner, and overall more “ladylike” when compared to its northern cousins the baneg and the rimmilch cow . Calves grow horns that can be cut off at a young age, and they will not regenerate. Females have udders, a pink bag between its hind legs that grows and produces the milk. This Strata Cow may reach heights of up to four fores at the shoulders , although this is only in peak conditions and health. Their weight also varies with their health and surroundings, but a   eight hebs average cow is not uncommon. Return to the top
Correction please see other thread!!!!.


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Special Abilities. The Strata Milking Cow has the wonderful ability to produce massive amounts of healthy and rich milk. It is also domesticated, and these cows are generally very gentle around humans, while their calves are playful with children. Return to the top

„also domesticated“ makes no sense,if we have not a wild form as well, which we don't have, because Tristin brought this cow with him. (1)

Territory. This breed is only often found in the regions of Strata, north to Bardavos and there are many farms built in and around the desert. This breed of dairy cow oddly enough does very well in the heat, even extreme heat, as that is where they produce their maximum amount of milk. Return to the top


The territory made me unhappy already when it was created. „Many farms build in and around the desert“ just doesn‘t work. Put it in the correction thread!


Habitat/Behaviour. Dairy cows as the Strata Cow are milked twice daily, sometimes more, and after you establish a pattern with the animal, it will greet you at the same time in the same place day in day out. Some say this is a mental clock, others say its just because its udder is so full, and its uncomfortable for the animal, so it goes to where you can relieve it.
The animals travel in herds, with many cows “belonging” to one bull. Bullfights are not uncommon, and are usually watched by interested humans, as the male battles for the rights to breed any certain group of females. Cows can live anywhere from 4-9 years in a natural life span. This span is shorter for this breed than many, as the harsh wind and dryness constantly pound at the animal. Return to the top

  I think this just doesn‘t work, these herds need at least some shepherds to guard them. Now it looks as if they are wild and roam alone . It contradicts as well that they are milked twice a day. I would skip the bullfights as well, for no shepherd would allow it out of fear of injuring a good bull and this wandering about (where there bulls could meat each other) makes no sense either, for they cows have to be milked twice a day, the milk has to be transported quickly away to the town to not get sour. I didn‘t intend to rewrite this much, but don‘t know how else to do it.
(2)
Cows can live anywhere from 4-9 years in a natural life span. This span is shorter for this breed than many, as the harsh wind and dryness constantly pound at the animal
   

Diet. Cows generally eat a large storage of dried, “baled” feed, of both the grass variety, and grain. This is brought south by traders, and is sold to the farmers at a fair price. In need, however, a cow may eat any vegetation it can find, as with four separate stomachs, digestion is rarely a problem. Return to the top

I don‘t know how this will work with the fact that the cows travel either. I don‘t think you can say they travel if they return twice a day to the same place. Buying grain and food in the north to feed cows doesn‘t pay of either, I fear. (3)

Mating. Cows usually come into “heat” once a year, around the middle of summer, and calve out in early spring. They have only one birth a year, although it may be of more than one offspring. The calf nurses its mother for about 6 months, then is weaned off. At one and a half years of age, the animal is an adult, so the females are bred and the males are driven off, to find their own herd. Return to the top

Either they are domesticated or live there wild, which owner would allow the young male calves to vanish in the desert, find new herds? There is not enough to eat in this restricted area which would allow both, wild and domesticated to survive. If a calve is allowed to nurse for half a year, then in this time there is no milk available to sell. So I would propose that only a few calves are allowed to stay with their mother, the males and weaker ones are sold (meat) either immediately after birth or later, after three months (but then you get trouble with the mother, at least on earth. (4)



Origin. Drafas Tristin brought the first Strata Cows with him in 1648, when he left to find new lands. Where that cow came from, no one knows. But since afterwards, these hardy little beasts have become adapted to the surroundings, and there they belong. Return to the top

Information provided by Ralhag View Profile
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Proposals/ideas how to rewrite it

(1) It is a domesticated beast, but it is not known from which wild form it might have derived. These cows....

(2)

North of Strata the animals travel in herds of up to thirty individuals, with many cows “belonging” to one bull, guarded by a shepherd or two with their guarding dogs. It is often a whole family who shares the work. Each herd travels in a defined area from one place to the next, where some shelter for the night is available and where a hut or small house is erected which has a deep cellar to keep the collected milk fresh for a day or two. From there it is collected by the „milktraders“, men who are engaged by the owners of the farms,  and brought to Strata. Only in two cases the shepherds themselves own the herd, otherwise the owners live in Strata or elsewhere.
It is handled a bit differently on this relatively new farm near Bardavos, see respective entry. West of Thalambath normal farms have established themselves, though farming there differs from what is known in the north.



(3)
The cow herds living north of Strata cannot survive alone on what they find in the wild, though they are able to be quite frugal. They may eat any vegetation they can find, as with four separate stomachs, digestion is rarely a problem. However, this has a great impact on milk production, so the milktraders who come to get the milk supply them with cheap grain from Aeruillin, often  cargoes which have suffered somehow on the transport and are not usable for human use anymore. The Bardavos farm relies on dried grasses harvested in the Narfost plain.

(4)
Cows usually come into “heat” once a year, around the middle of summer, and calve out in early spring. They have only one birth a year, although it may be of more than one offspring. Apart from a few strong calves which are needed to sustain the herd all are taken away from the mother immediately and sold as the famous Strata calves to noble households. Where regular farms are, some more calves kept, but they are fed by the humans and not allowed to stay with the mother. Otherwise no high milk production is possible.
At one and a half years of age, the animal is an adult and will start with milk production after having itsr first calve.   


« Last Edit: 29 January 2007, 15:26:06 by Talia » Logged

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Drasil Razorfang
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« Reply #1 on: 28 January 2007, 01:38:54 »

Talia, your colors are a bit confusing to me...But when you are finished with your corrections, just put up the Exclamation point and then I'll check through and hopefully give the +.  If this isn't a complete read through, but instead a bunch of highlighting of errors, I'll put the cow in the Needs revisions thread with a link to this topic.
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Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels
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« Reply #2 on: 28 January 2007, 02:42:48 »

Why confusimg? Yellow are comments why I thought it needs a change, the green is the "revision", the altered text. I don't think it needs more of a revision though. I tried to add what iI wanted (this cheesefarm), corrected the territory. All others things were just a bit contradicting, so I changed as much as I thought is needed, I didn't want to do a complete revamp (that would be much longer),  but stay as close as possible to the original.
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« Reply #3 on: 28 January 2007, 02:44:50 »

I find that confusing too....
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Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels
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« Reply #4 on: 28 January 2007, 03:32:16 »


White text original
white text underlined - original text which I want to be replaced
Yellow text - why I thought that it needs changing
proposed change, altered text, partly underlined to show what I actually changed
Better?
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« Reply #5 on: 28 January 2007, 12:33:18 »

Talia - why DON'T you just rewrite the entry?  I know I always wince when I read the first part about how much these cows supply and 'farms all over the desert'.....

I agree that your changes make a lot more sense - especially since now we have a few more cows to flesh out the dairy industry throughout the continent.

I did try in the cheese entry not to contradict anything extant, but if you see anything that *I* should bring into line before the entry goes up, do tell me.

Drasil - back me up here, buddy!  :)  Don't you think she should just make the changes and post the revised version?  I haven't seen Ralhag in a very long time, and things do change as Santharia becomes more complex...  which is to say that I don't think this would be offensive, since it clearly is necessary!   

Go for it, Talia - take out the highlighting and just post a revision.  Then it will be very simple for one of us Uri-editors to have a final look...   :thumbsup
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« Reply #6 on: 28 January 2007, 21:20:45 »

Well I'd like Talia to rewrite it... Would give me something interesting to comment on...
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« Reply #7 on: 29 January 2007, 01:35:30 »

lol!

Talia:  I'd love it if you rewrote this entry!  If not, I'd be forced to put it on the list where it would be poached by someone underqualified.

@ Judith: Back up given.  thumbup

@ Decipher: *pats head affectionatly* Its ok...maybe someday Judith will remeber you run this place too. =P

Edit:  All the referencing is hurting my brain!  Talia, would you mind if I condense it all down to make it easier for us commenting?  I'll even be sure to use footnotes to make sure your reasonings are still there!
« Last Edit: 29 January 2007, 02:07:53 by Drasil Razorfang » Logged
Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels
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« Reply #8 on: 29 January 2007, 15:28:05 »

No, sorry, I don't have currently an interest in revamping a Beast, even if it is in my area of interest. 
Ralhag was here in autumn, why not ask him to redo it?
Put it on the revisions list and point to this thread, then eventually a newbie will do it and has some help to start with.
« Last Edit: 29 January 2007, 15:32:44 by Talia » Logged

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« Reply #9 on: 07 February 2007, 22:19:08 »

If you guys need someone to do this, I'll take care of it. (As Nightclaw, Raecor, and Jyth get pushed farther and farther down the priorites list. In other words, one space down. Actully, those are my only priorities)
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