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Author Topic: The Wretched Elf  (Read 9178 times)
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Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels
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« Reply #15 on: 28 June 2007, 21:06:41 »
Don't be annoyed with us, Letitia. I said I like your poem. But I think Altario has brought it better to the point as I did: Is Letitia (already) important enough in Santharia that her poems (her first poem) would find its way in the big and famous compendium?

*looks at Altario*  I know you can stand critic and you need it to get to your artistic borders  buck
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Letitia De Lockhart
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« Reply #16 on: 29 June 2007, 00:10:20 »
Oh don't worry no one has annoyed me I like constructive criticism it is just me doubting myself out loud. To be completely truthful I am the one who thinks that I am not good enough in my own mind, I am my own worst critic. I suppose I always doubt myself at English because I have always been in the very bottom English class, in my secondary school they have 6 English classes, I am always put in the bottom class, that makes me always think I am bad at writing, so I doubt myself.
« Last Edit: 29 June 2007, 01:05:20 by Letitia De Lockhart » Logged
"I love him, I adore him, my mind and soul is now transported with the thought of that blessed ecstatic moment when I shall see him, embrace him...
I must sin on and love him more than ever. It is a crime worth going to hell for."
Letitia De Lockhart
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« Reply #17 on: 29 June 2007, 00:50:38 »
Okay I have changed the introduction again; I hope that it is now more up to the high standard required.
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"I love him, I adore him, my mind and soul is now transported with the thought of that blessed ecstatic moment when I shall see him, embrace him...
I must sin on and love him more than ever. It is a crime worth going to hell for."
Decipher Ziron
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« Reply #18 on: 29 June 2007, 01:17:45 »
Now I am hardly qualified to comment on poetic conventions and the like...But I find it hard to believe that you are in the bottom set of English...But then again....What we learn at English secondary school is more theory...this is art!

Decipher 'The also self-doubting' Ziron,
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Letitia De Lockhart
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« Reply #19 on: 29 June 2007, 01:29:52 »
Yes it is true, I am in the bottom English class, always have been. It is so annoying because another person can write this absolutely rubbish story with no imagination what so ever and they get a big well done it was brilliant, but if I come up with a good imaginative story that includes everything required with lots of original ideas and they say it is not good enough, I need to put more effort in apparently. So what do you think of my poem and introduction.
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"I love him, I adore him, my mind and soul is now transported with the thought of that blessed ecstatic moment when I shall see him, embrace him...
I must sin on and love him more than ever. It is a crime worth going to hell for."
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« Reply #20 on: 29 June 2007, 01:40:25 »
I thinks its brilliant...And I especially agree with what you said about our schools. I think you definetely are an accomplished poet...

Decipher
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Letitia De Lockhart
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« Reply #21 on: 29 June 2007, 01:43:18 »
Thank you very much, *gives a polite curtsy*.
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"I love him, I adore him, my mind and soul is now transported with the thought of that blessed ecstatic moment when I shall see him, embrace him...
I must sin on and love him more than ever. It is a crime worth going to hell for."
Decipher Ziron
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« Reply #22 on: 29 June 2007, 02:57:50 »
You are more than welcome...
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Artimidor Federkiel
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« Reply #23 on: 29 June 2007, 03:42:21 »
Well, in whatever class you are, Letitia, you've done a great job with this poem, and have well deserved that praise! thumbup Especially at your age, this is truly a marvelous work!

Also the changes make it fit now into the world quite nicely. I think the problems mentioned concerning the introduction are valid, and though it might seem annoying to change things a few times, it helps to understand a bit what we need to take care of in development if we want to keep things realistic and fit together. I guess intro and poem are perfectly fine now, so I'll give it the update arrow and  hope for further contributions!  cool

P.S. Happy birthday, Letitia!  pet
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"Between the mind that plans and the hands that build there must be a mediator, and this must be the heart." -- Maria (Metropolis)
Letitia De Lockhart
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« Reply #24 on: 29 June 2007, 03:54:39 »
Yay, thank you I really appreciate it, and there definitely should be more contributions in the future, what do you think of a poem about the dragonstorm.
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"I love him, I adore him, my mind and soul is now transported with the thought of that blessed ecstatic moment when I shall see him, embrace him...
I must sin on and love him more than ever. It is a crime worth going to hell for."
Artimidor Federkiel
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« Reply #25 on: 29 June 2007, 03:58:13 »
Definitely an interesting topic to a very Santharian event, so why not? :)
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"Between the mind that plans and the hands that build there must be a mediator, and this must be the heart." -- Maria (Metropolis)
Letitia De Lockhart
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« Reply #26 on: 29 June 2007, 04:25:19 »
Good because I have just finished it, I will post it and see what you think, I am open to making alterations, as I am not really too sure about this one.
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"I love him, I adore him, my mind and soul is now transported with the thought of that blessed ecstatic moment when I shall see him, embrace him...
I must sin on and love him more than ever. It is a crime worth going to hell for."
Mina
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« Reply #27 on: 29 June 2007, 05:43:47 »
Hmm...I'm thinking, can't the term 'The Wretched Elf' also be used to refer to Queprur?  If I remember correctly, she is sometimes portrayed with an Elven appearance.  And she is of course the goddess of death. 
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Artimidor Federkiel
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« Reply #28 on: 29 June 2007, 05:54:36 »
That's an interesting observation... We could add that to the intro as a possibility to what the text might refer as well I'd say, yup.
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"Between the mind that plans and the hands that build there must be a mediator, and this must be the heart." -- Maria (Metropolis)
Letitia De Lockhart
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« Reply #29 on: 29 June 2007, 06:03:37 »
Thank you for that suggestion Mina, it is done.
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"I love him, I adore him, my mind and soul is now transported with the thought of that blessed ecstatic moment when I shall see him, embrace him...
I must sin on and love him more than ever. It is a crime worth going to hell for."
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