A shepards ditty, the Kuglim

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[Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin]

Overview:  There is a song that the shepherds of the Cancu sheep sing in Kuglimz culture.  No one knows the origins of the song, only that it has been around as long as there have been shepherds of sheep.

"The cancu sheep have all run off,

the cancu sheep are gone,

Look in the valley, comb the hills,

the cancu sheep are gone,

Go pray you find them, pray they're safe,

the cancu sheep are gone,

Look at the ground boy, search the tracks,

the cancu sheep are gone,

The great bear hunts, the great bear eats,

the cancu sheep are gone."

Why have you slept, what have you done?

the cancu sheep are gone,

Now we'll be hungry, we shall starve

the cancu sheep are gone,

Your mother cries, your father shouts,

the cancu sheep are gone,

Go grab your arrows, grab your bow,

the cancu sheep are gone,

Tonight we’ll feast, on rich bear meat,

the cancu sheep are gone.

Variations:  The most common way to sing this song of the shepherds is alone while tending the flocks.  However, it has grown in popularity and is often sang at gatherings where a lead singer sings the main lines, while the crowd joins in with "the Cancu sheep are gone", often becoming very loud and jubilant with their voices.

The song was brought to us by Alysse the Likely, who is a member of the Fal’cone people of the Kuglimz’ura (“Plain Tribes”).   A very private people, very little is known of their culture, and to get this simple song was quite a coup. 

[Letitia De Lockhart]

Didn't Drex just post this song in the Thirsty Herald back in the RPing forum?

[Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin]

Shhhhhh.......

[Petros Greenvale]

Caught out by a girl !?!?!
Altario im shocked!!!

[Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin]

Just so ya know, I did not steel the idea from Drex, I AM Drex...still, I think he is a cool guy, lol

[Letitia De Lockhart]

I will admit, I had my suspicions about that.

[Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels]

That's a great little poem, or song..

While reading I thought it wold better flow (or could be sung, I heard a melody already) if you skip the blue word and replace the other:

"The cancu sheep have all run off,
the cancu sheep are gone,
Look in the valley, look in the hills,
the cancu sheep are gone,
Pray that you find them, whole and safe,
the cancu sheep are gone,
Look at the ground, look at the tracks
the cancu sheep are gone,
The great bear hunts, the great bear eats,
the cancu sheep are gone."

I know you want that repetition, but my tongue stumbled over it. But it is of course up to you


Lovely!

[Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin]

I agree with the second change, but I think the first one, by taking out a word and not replacing it, makes it sound chopped off

Its to be sung, BTW

Should I change "look" to "and" ?

[Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels]

of course I sang it in my head..

I think there is a syllable to much

Look in the valley and  the hills,

I have no time now , but do add the stress, maybe we do agree then?

Every line starts with an unstressed syllable, right?

ah well, have to hurry...

[Artimidor Federkiel]

Ok, let's try some suggestions as well. These are suggestions that also go a bit away from the repetions hopefully towards a slightly better verse meter (pray/pray still stand in the middle, line 3 and 7 still start with "look", so some repetition has remained in this version). Might not be worth that sacrifice, but here you go, at least for consideration:

The cancu sheep have all run off,
the cancu sheep are gone,
Look in the valley, comb the hills,
the cancu sheep are gone,
Pray to find them, pray they're safe,
the cancu sheep are gone,
Look at the ground, search the tracks
the cancu sheep are gone,
The great bear hunts, the bear he eats,
the cancu sheep are gone.

Idea is nice, lovely little poem

Maybe the recurring line could be stressed with an exclamation mark as well at all lines, like this:

The cancu sheep have all run off
- the cancu sheep are gone!
etc.

This line would perhaps be sung or shouted by another person.

[Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels]

Well, Art, I think the repetition is wanted and I find the last line is much stronger in the way Altario has written it. I lie your wording though (comb the hills)
The meter in your version is off a bit, in Altario's (at least as I read it out) every first syllable is unstressed, you are introducing suddenly with "Pray " a first stressed one. I skipped the repetion out of metrical reasons, not because I didn't like them.

My favourite version would be:


The cancu sheep have all run off,
the cancu sheep are gone,
Look in the valley, comb the hills,
the cancu sheep are gone,
Go pray to find them, pray they're safe,
the cancu sheep are gone,
Look at the ground, unstressed syllable missing (and?) search the tracks
the cancu sheep are gone,
The great bear hunts, the great bear eats,
the cancu sheep are gone.


Altario, this is screaming for more stanzas! A song like this doesn't have just one stanza!

Edit:

The cancu sheep have all run off,
the cancu sheep are gone,
Look in the valley, comb the hills,
the cancu sheep are gone,
Go pray to find them, pray they're safe,
the cancu sheep are gone,
Look at the ground boy ,search the tracks
the cancu sheep are gone,
The great bear hunts, the great bear eats,
the cancu sheep are gone.

[Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin]

ok, I have taken ideas from you both, and I have added another verse for you Talia.  Hope it excites the way the first one did.

[Artimidor Federkiel]

Yes! Very nicely adjusted, Altario - plus another verse that fits very well, couldn't ask for more! 

[Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin]

A couple of minor tweeks to the second verse, plus I added a Variation section, incorporating Art's suggestion of adding secondary singers.

[Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels]

Lovely, Altario!

The meter is slightly off again, don't know how you read it! We should use skype, maybe there would be less misunderstandings.

I only sneaked in , have the house soon full of visitors and am now already running after a nearly three year old...

Just my firts ideas..


Why are you sleeping, what have you done?
the cancu sheep are gone,
Now we'll be hungry, what will we eat?
the cancu sheep are gone,
Your mother is crying, your father's in a rage,
the cancu sheep are gone,
Go grab your arrows, go grab your bow,
the cancu sheep are gone,
Tonight we shall feast, on rich bear meat,
the cancu sheep are gone.

Of course not every line has to fit to the - / - / - / (unstressed/streessed)

but if it is possible?

Why have you slept, what have you done?
the cancu sheep are gone,
Now we'll be hungry, what will we eat?
the cancu sheep are gone,
Your mother is crying, your father's in a rage,  (skip the a)
the cancu sheep are gone,
Go grab your arrows, go grab your bow,
the cancu sheep are gone,
Tonight we shall feast, on rich bear meat,
the cancu sheep are gone.


have to go... sorry

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