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Author Topic: Remusian Men V2.0  (Read 17031 times)
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Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin
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« on: 06 August 2007, 00:27:51 »

Currently being Redone!!

 police Nothing to see here, move along!
« Last Edit: 13 January 2008, 17:36:11 by Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin » Logged

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Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin
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« Reply #1 on: 06 August 2007, 00:56:12 »

Artimidor figured there would not be a problem with some revisions as Timeras has not been seen in over 4 years.

I want to do a revision first of the tribe.  Don't panic, I won't make sweeping changes.  They will still be Remusian's...just tweaked. grin  I took the original Compendium entry and will make my edits in red. 

When I am done the tribe revisions, I will then do entries for the cities and such.  It is just easier for me to stat with the tribe, then build outward from there.  I hope to get this entire area developed at some point.

As I'm often bored, you have seen how it has made me prolific.  My entries come in faster than you good people can go over them, so this will give me ample fodder while waiting for previous entries to get checked.  Then, then I'll be ready for a masterwork...hahahaha *laughs insanely*
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Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin
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« Reply #2 on: 06 August 2007, 04:17:36 »

I started with just adding and subtracting each section, but it makes it look like it was added and subtracted to.  So, I am putting the sections I have covered in my own words and coloring them red.  Anything new will be in yellow.
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Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels
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« Reply #3 on: 06 August 2007, 05:17:32 »

Quote
My entries come in faster than you good people can go over them,

LOL

I think I have to throw out some of my submissions, then you can thoroughly proofread ;)

I liked the beginning better you had before you changed all to red - that the tribe is in transition is very important (and a great idea), but I think it should not be the first sentence.
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Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin
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« Reply #4 on: 06 August 2007, 05:19:45 »

You think it sounds better at the end?  That can be done.

Hi Talia, good to see you again.
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Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin
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« Reply #5 on: 07 August 2007, 07:56:14 »

I just did the weapons section, which I renamed Military, and completely restructured it.  Hope it is ok.  I personally think it is a vast improvement over what was there, but, I'm biased. grin
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Arceon Barrurbeleth
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« Reply #6 on: 07 August 2007, 08:04:23 »

About the engineers part in the Military section:
If the Ice Tribes fight only each other and other tribes don't have the great walls or any other tactical building in their villages (because their villages are mostly temporary), so where is the need for siege equipment or sappers?
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Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin
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« Reply #7 on: 07 August 2007, 08:25:07 »

 angry  Don't bring logic into this.  Just nod with wonder and say, Good Job Altario, its great.

*sigh*  Well, lets leave them in there for now.  As there is not much  history , and I will be concentrating all my efforts in this area for awhile, I will find a reason....  there were some things I was contemplating, that with a little effort..... buck
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« Reply #8 on: 07 August 2007, 08:28:15 »

...anyway, a great job done so far Altario...*trembles in fear and runs away* noidea
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Alysse the Likely
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« Reply #9 on: 07 August 2007, 12:42:43 »

Looks good but I have no time to proof it tonight, it's midnight and I need to go to bed!

Hopefully I can catch up with some things this week--we are going to be away for the next three week-ends and I am going to visit my mom for a week (though she has a computer so I won't have to totally disappear) and then school will be starting again...AAAAAAGGGHHHH!  Memory overload! Segmentation fault!  Core dump!  Reboot! Reboot!

Um, yes, what was I saying?  My attendance will be a little sporadic for the next little while.  Sorry, I will try to get online during the week.

Alysse

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Alysse the Likely
Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin
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« Reply #10 on: 07 August 2007, 12:46:36 »

Understood...no worries on my behalf...have a good time on your trips out... this isn't ready for a full uri for awhile, though comments are always welcome...plus I have other projects...and some more projects... *looks under rug*  hmm...and some more projects here...
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Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin
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« Reply #11 on: 13 August 2007, 10:33:50 »

Ok, I am now open for full criticism. 

Those areas in White are left unchanged from the entry,  and they will be updated as I begin to expand the Remusian world.  This includes the Beliefs and Holidays sections, as they will be very much influenced by what is developed in the Ice Tribe religion make-over.  The History and Achievements sections will be adjusted as I do the Remusiat city entry and other Town/Location entries.

Those areas in Red are ones I have re-worded but left essentially the same as in the original.

Those areas in Yellow are complete changes to the original entry.

Once there have been some serious proof reads of this, I will change it all to white then make all edits in another colour.
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"Lather...Rinse...Repeat"   Why has God made my life so complicated?

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Alysse the Likely
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« Reply #12 on: 13 August 2007, 10:43:22 »

Your common Remusians vary from:

 "one ped , two fores to two peds, two and a half fores"

So that's about 5 1/2 feet to nearly 9 feet tall?   shocked

Kind of a wide variation, don't you think?  lol


Alysse




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Alysse the Likely
Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin
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« Reply #13 on: 13 August 2007, 10:47:45 »

one ped , two fores to two peds, and a half fore

this was how it was sposed to look...I changed the original entry that had a decimal point....thanks for pointing it out...it is changed
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"Lather...Rinse...Repeat"   Why has God made my life so complicated?

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Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin
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« Reply #14 on: 15 August 2007, 06:49:12 »

Quote
The Remusians have three medium sized towns: Dorm-nak, Sorsokon, and Sudarok, and of course the large city of Remusiat itself. Most settlements, except Dorm-nak and Sudarok lie along the Iceland Coast as most Remusians supply themselves from the sea.   

The above was taken from the compendium entry on the Remusian Men.  However, the map does not show these places (Remusiat, not withstanding), yet shows Rhemir, which is mentioned in the History, but not in the entry.

My question:  If I were to blow up the map (figuratively, of course) can I place the towns that are not mentioned where I please?  This will help me when I start working more in depth with the future entries.  Also, how is populatio effect by the #of buildings you have on the map?  Like Remusiat has 2 houses, while Rhemir has only one.  What are the populations of each?  Is there a someplace I can check this?  Even if it nothing more than a range that i can get,
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"Lather...Rinse...Repeat"   Why has God made my life so complicated?

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