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Author Topic: Ahrhillicia Tree  (Read 11779 times)
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Kelancey the Green
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« Reply #15 on: 15 January 2008, 02:07:33 »

  Rookie, I'm sorry, but there are just too few flaws in this entry to merit commenting...<J/K>  This is a splendid read!  Well done, madam, well done!  It strikes me that we've kinda needed a tree to suit the Ahrhim's lifestyle.  The only editorial comments I have either typos or just stylistic suggestions.

"The Ahrhillicia tree will grow anywhere were there are deep enough soils to sustain its large height."
And, perhaps, its extensive root system?

"Its [apostrophe omitted] quick growth-rate also means it is ready for harvesting within five years."

"As well as filling up a gap in the dense canopy quite quickly, this makes it a cheap and renewable wood for those who do not need quality."
Or, perhaps, '...for those who do not put a premium on quality'?

"This myth no doubt grew up around the Almartrar forest where the druids can make the trees light up, but has gradually spread along with new receipts for the pine nuts."
How about, "This myth no doubt hails from around the Almartrar forest, where the druids can make the trees light up.  As this myth has spread, so have new receipts for the pine nuts."  I dunno, maybe the sentence reads better the way it is now.

  Looks good, Rookie!  :D

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Rookie Brownbark
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« Reply #16 on: 15 January 2008, 02:14:52 »

Thankyou Kelancy, I think you managed to pick out the two sentances which were annoying me with their clumsyness, yet which I couldn't think how to change.

Thanks!
« Last Edit: 15 January 2008, 02:16:48 by Rookie Brownbark » Logged

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Artimidor Federkiel
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« Reply #17 on: 15 January 2008, 05:36:03 »

Ha! I spotted another misspelling: In the Myth/Lore section you use two times the spelling "Ahrhicillcia", which varies from the other spellings. Thinking about it, that version also doesn't sound too bad :)

The way you describe this tree reminds me distantly of the Mahood Euwens, though it is written in the inverse, the Euwen seems to fight against the sunlight: Here's a short passage to affirm that:

Quote
Direct sunlight and heat withers it. For that reason, the tree grows to great height, and its crown interlocks with that of the surrounding Euwen, forming a thick, impenetrable and almost roof-like forest ceiling, which allows next to no light to pass through to the ground. Inside a Euwen wood, a murky twilight atmosphere is prevalent, if not total darkness in places of extreme density. This also protects the younger, growing Euwen from the sunlight that is so harmful to the tree.

I don't know if this observation of certain similarities in the concept is helpful, but you could perhaps say that lore claims that there's a certain connection between these trees, like they were seens as brothers and sisters or something. The Euwens stand for melancholy and immortality in general, while the Ahrhillicia more represent the joy of being or, as you say: stability, comfort and a happy home life. Well, just a thought, maybe it helps a bit to get an idea.

Nevertheless, this is another great entry as Kelancey already pointed out! Lovely to read, especially that striking idea of the druids using these trees as a light source is marvelous. The "tree glows with a deep, warm light"... ahhh... thinking of such lovely fantasy ideas produces goosebumps on my skin! Breathtaking concept, Rookie, love it! thumbup
« Last Edit: 15 January 2008, 05:37:50 by Artimidor Federkiel » Logged



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« Reply #18 on: 15 January 2008, 06:32:33 »

*shuffles feet*  actually, both the name and the glowing tree concept were Pikel's ideas....he happened to mention he had had this tree on his developement scedule for a while in the IRC.  So we have to both thank him for the glowing idea and blame him for the name I cannot spell.

I love the idea of brother and sister tree, I'll have a look into it.  Thankyou! :D  (for both the comments and the suggestion).
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« Reply #19 on: 15 January 2008, 06:47:42 »

Good to see cooperation here :) Also Pikel's druidic magic is about to be finished, so this all fits together nicely :D
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« Reply #20 on: 15 January 2008, 07:38:54 »

Could I suggest a 'shortname' / Tharian name for this tree so that it gets integrated and cross-referenced more easily?  :)   If people always have to look it up and it doesn't spring easily to mind, I find that even excellent entries often drown in the vastness of the Compendium...

How about 'Cilla Conifer' or 'Cilia Pine'? 

'Ahrpine' ("ARR-pye-n") rolls easily off the tongue as well...

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Trelstahl
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« Reply #21 on: 15 January 2008, 12:32:38 »

Very nicely written, Rookie!!

I have only a few very nit-picky editorial comments in red, and a couple of comments on its usage that seem a little contradictory in yellow.  I really enjoyed reading this entry!!

Cheers!

Trel.


Territory

... the highest density of Ahrcillicia trees known is the Almatrar forest just northwest of the Rimmershins Ring.

Should be Rimmerins Ring.

Usages


The wood of the tree is not particularly strong or beautifully grained and is prone to splitting.  As well as this, the wood is dotted with knotholes and other imperfections. However, the straightness of the trunk means that the tree can be split into many even planks.  Its quick growth-rate also means it is ready for harvesting within five years.  As well as filling up a gap in the dense canopy quite quickly, this makes it a cheap and renewable wood for those who do not put a premium on quality.

Wood that doesn't split well due to knotholes and other imperfections, typically doesn't "rip" well, so it doesn't make good quality building planks.  I'd suggest that since the trunk is nice and straight, it would be better suited for posts - like you might use in fences.  If used for planks, as you've said the wood is going to be poor quality, and not useful in making sturdy homes.


The people who live in the Almatrar forest, where the largest number of these trees grow, have a few uses for them.  Ahrhim elves build homes in the lower canopy and string ladders and ropes from one dense tree to another.  The trees’ strong, straight branches make ideal supports for these structures, although as the tree grows and the lower branches die off the homes have to be moved.  As it dies the branch will loose its redish tinge as well as all its needles, so the elves have plenty of time in which to move their constructions higher.   Also, as mentioned in the Description section, the trees’ height and numbers make it ideal for the druids who live in Almatrar to light their camps and homes.

Now here you say the trees have strong branches, which somewhat contradicts the fact that the wood is not strong.  Trees that lose branches on their own - they're called self-thinning - tend not to have strong branch attachments (things like lodgepole pine have nice straight trunks, and do make nice poles, but the branch attachments are weak).  It would be a stretch to be able to build a house in a tree like this.


Reproduction

Nestled in the crevices of the mighty pine cones are large, fat-rich nuts.  Around the same size as the top part of ones thumb, neither they nor their pine cone casing can

Should be one's thumb.




Myth/Lore

Not riches or extremes of literacy brilliance but simply enjoyment and satisfaction.   

This is a sentence fragment.  


It is thought to promote a long steady marriage which always puts food on the table and help the couple’s love for each other to never diminish. 

Should be: ...and helps ...

In folklore, an elfmaiden with the name “Cillicia” will always be happy where she is, and raise many beautiful children.

Further to Judy's comment, how about Cillicia Tree?  Very pretty name!   :)
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« Reply #22 on: 15 January 2008, 23:06:43 »

Many things to think about, thankyou, so I shall pop the pencil up for a while until I manage to encorporate them.

I like "Cilia pine" or "Cillia pine".....:D
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« Reply #23 on: 16 January 2008, 01:11:02 »

Just a note: I think you misspelled "recipe" in the Myth section.

Very nice Rookie.  thumbup thumbup
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« Reply #24 on: 16 January 2008, 01:46:30 »

Apparently the Santharian word is "receipt".  I would tease you for not knowing, but I don't really wish to be used as dragon feed.....
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« Reply #25 on: 16 January 2008, 03:35:02 »

It is? Maybe I deserve to be teased for not knowing that... shocked
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« Reply #26 on: 23 January 2008, 22:04:38 »

Sorry for my lack of movement on this one.  I've kind of been waiting for inspiration to hit me over your two yellow comments Trelstahl.  You're right, it seems weird that self-thinning branches should be strong enough to hold a house.  Unfortunately I know both that elves already make their homes in these trees (from their entry) and that the Ahrhillicia Tree provides a high, thick canopy, which sounds to me very much like a self-thinning pine.  So far I'm stuck on a way to make both of these work, other than saying that the branches are strong whilst alive but loose that strength once dead, which is what I was trying to get to work in what I've written.  Anyone got any ideas?
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« Reply #27 on: 05 February 2008, 01:15:03 »

Quite a lot added today - I've tried to get around the self-thinning/home supporting issue by making a clear difference between the young, growing pine and the mature, stronger pine.  I hope it works  :P

I've also added in a legend to link the Ahrhillicia and the Mahood.  Not being an expert on elven mythology, I'd love to hear people's thoughts on this.  Does it have an elven enough feel?  Or is it still a little human?  And does anyone have any ideas how I could elvenise it?
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« Reply #28 on: 05 February 2008, 06:24:53 »

Oh, I like how that myth is written now, Rookie :) It makes perfect sense that way and treats both trees as characters, and that is how the elves would see nature as well in a way, so it's quite an elven view I'd say. This could even be an part of the creation myth somewhere to explain the nature of the various trees and what role they played for the elves, cause as we all know trees and woods are essential for the elves. So that each tree has his or her own story attached to it is lovely, and fits very well.

I also notice that you once again implemented various Santharian references with the unicorn as Foiros' messenger, the Ahrhim mentioning, the Eophyrhim as the counterpart etc. - Very well thought through, really a marvelous piece once again you've delivered here!  thumbup

P.S. Nevertheless this doesn't spare you from being added to our Funny/Easter Eggs pages with your "truck" mentioning as Hylphán pointed out... lol
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« Reply #29 on: 05 February 2008, 11:59:03 »

Hey Rookie, just read your myth, it's great!  However, fyi, Santharian dark elves aren't called drow - we try to avoid that term.  :)  Otherwise great!  I like legends which personify things... I guess that would be my Kiwi upbringing.
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