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Author Topic: Vaiá Iú Queím [I see you]  (Read 15112 times)
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Tha'eli
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Do not fear the shadows, for they should fear you.


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« Reply #30 on: 25 June 2008, 05:22:58 »

True, true ;)

I added the changes - could you tell me what you think?
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If seeing is believing...
[development]
then what do we do when we're in the dark?
Drúadan
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« Reply #31 on: 25 June 2008, 05:31:08 »

Look alright now to me, though an important point i forgot to mention. Please color your changes in the future, so that it is easier for people, at a glance, to see what you've changed.  :)

Nice first entry! Now let's just see what the expert experts think. I think Arti is taking a look right now...
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Then take me disappearin' through the smoke rings of my mind,
Down the foggy ruins of time, far past the frozen leaves,
The haunted, frightened trees, out to the windy beach,
Far from the twisted reach of crazy sorrow.
Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free,
Silhouetted by the sea, circled by the circus sands,
With all memory and fate driven deep beneath the waves,
Let me forget about today until tomorrow.


-Bob Dylan "Mr. Tambourine Man"
Tha'eli
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« Reply #32 on: 25 June 2008, 05:32:09 »

Okay, I'll do that in the future, thanks :)

Oooh! *crosses fingers* Hope he thinks it's good :D
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If seeing is believing...
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Falethas Whisperwind
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« Reply #33 on: 25 June 2008, 05:50:53 »

Just popping in with a little item: if you want to properly say "I see you" in the elvish language, it'd be vaiá iú queím, where qué "you" takes the accusative case because it functions as the direct object of the verb vaián, "to see."

But that's just unimportant linguistic rambling, haha  buck So just know that if elves did actually play this game, they'd call it Vaiá Iú Queím:)
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Epthaeranté á sáh pheranía sáh alyría; ahmantát naithím sá sae'llán styaeyías.
"The rain whispers down through the trees; elvish music will rise in answer."
Tha'eli
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« Reply #34 on: 25 June 2008, 05:53:56 »

Ahh, thanks, Quaélh'Orín ;) Wow, that's quite a mouthful - mind if I call you Quaélh? Looks like 'quail'... I love those birds.
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« Reply #35 on: 25 June 2008, 05:55:18 »

Haha yes, Quaélh is perfectly fine. Although pronounced a little differently than "quail," I might add  lol
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Epthaeranté á sáh pheranía sáh alyría; ahmantát naithím sá sae'llán styaeyías.
"The rain whispers down through the trees; elvish music will rise in answer."
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« Reply #36 on: 25 June 2008, 05:56:46 »

I know, but it'll be easier for me to remember it that way ;)
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« Reply #37 on: 25 June 2008, 19:08:37 »

Is it ready to be 'blarrowed'? ;)
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Mannix
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« Reply #38 on: 25 June 2008, 19:28:45 »

I just have a question about its origin.  Thaelon is said to be the home of Light Elves, but these are mythical.  However, a few Aellenrhim do also live there to take care of the forest.  I guess they could be the creators, but I don't know it just doesn't seem like a thing to come out of Thaelon.  I guess thats my opinion so you don't have to change it.  If it were to come from Thaelon, wouldn't it spread to Bolder, the main home of the Aellenrhim.  Also, how were the meaning of the words forgotten, aren't they in Styrash, at least thats what the Aellenrhim speak.  I'm also wondering why Coór changed to cór.

Mannix
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Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Development Schedule ~ The Hobbit Deity Liran ~ Hobbit Beliefs Discussion
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« Reply #39 on: 25 June 2008, 20:48:18 »

Aahhhhhh! *cringes*

Okay, I don't know much about Thaelon etc... I've just kind of brought it what people have suggested.

The meaning of the words were just naturally forgotten... I didn't know ring-around-the-rosies was about the plague until I was twelve, or something. And Coór changed to cór, partly because the parents didn't like the idea of their children acting as the Shadow, and partly because they have similar meanings - Coór is the god of evil, and cór means dark/night.

But is the Thaelon/Light Elf thing really obvious? Should I change it?
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« Reply #40 on: 25 June 2008, 20:59:06 »

I'd at least change where you say inhabitants of Thaelon to Aellenrhim of Thaelon, we don't want people thinking the Lightelves are real.  By they way, who told you to include Thaelon.  I'm not saying you shouldn't use it, just wondering.  I like the bit about mothers getting upset by it, especiall in such a sacred place.  OH and by the way, you probably don't know much about Thaelon because there's not much to know, well at least no ton site.  Me and Arti are revising it, but it is going to take a while.  Personally I wouldn't change it from Thaelon, just tweak it a bit.  I think it could fit nicely.  I'll read through later.

Mannix
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Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Development Schedule ~ The Hobbit Deity Liran ~ Hobbit Beliefs Discussion
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« Reply #41 on: 25 June 2008, 21:08:23 »

Okay, I added the appropriate change.

Drúadan suggested the Thaelon Forest:
Quote
Okay. With the reference to the Dor’iyn sheep, either southern Sarvonia or northern Aerullin {Sp?} looks best. Deving on Aerullin is off limits at the moment, so lets assume an elf tribe in Santharia for now. If we factor in the wizardleaf reference, we would arrive at a tribe either living in close proximity to mages, very magic-focused themselves, or in a place where wizardleaf commonly grows; i.e. theThaelon Forest. So... that should narrow the selection down a bit. Of course, you might say that more than one tribe uses it, for example, that it has spread through the two major elven woods in Manthria,  Zeiphyrian Forests and the Auturian woods. Which, incidently, leads to the Tethinrhim and the Quaelhoirhim.

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« Reply #42 on: 25 June 2008, 21:11:53 »

Yep, I've read through and may I say well done.  It's a very nice entry, I can tell you did your homework.  I can't think of any tweaking as my brain is tired, need sleep.  But, after reading it, I don't think it needs it.  Just one thing.
In original games, the 'cór' would then have to find the other players blindfolded, but this practice is no longer seen.(space)The winner is the person found last in each round!
Well Done!

Mannix
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Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Development Schedule ~ The Hobbit Deity Liran ~ Hobbit Beliefs Discussion
Tha'eli
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« Reply #43 on: 25 June 2008, 21:14:05 »

Thank you! I'll fix those things right away :D
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Artimidor Federkiel
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« Reply #44 on: 28 June 2008, 03:11:23 »

Ok, let's have a look again:

- Concerning the Styrásh: We've never actually defined that there are declinations for words like "you", but ok, makes more sense that way. If we want to have word order correct as well and follow the example given in the Styrásh principles entry, then we read "Pharanté es sá móchcin'lón énh styrín" (translated: "The elves travel into the dark forest"), which would mean in this respect: Vaiá queím iúcool

- Overview: You mention the "cór", yet someone who just reads the entry and doesn't have a background doesn't actually know what "cór" means in Styrásh or what it could stand for. Explain this a bit.

- The first line in the Game Name section should be:
Quote
The name "Vaiá Queím Ií" (Sty´rásh for "I see you!"] originated...

- It has already been mentioned that the Thaelon as such isn't the best source for a game like this, simply because this is a sacred forest, and there exist only Aellenrhim caretakers there (see the current entry in progress). See especially the Aelle'lón section there. You might use the Bolder as the source of this game, which is where the Aellenrhim came from. Quaelhoirhim don't live in the Thaelon at all.

- You also mention that one player is "Coór", and then you use the term "cór". I guess this could be confusing to readers. These two words have different means as well!

- The chant is still rather absurd, but hey, with a chaotic God in play, this might as well just fit :)

That's it basically from my side :)
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