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Author Topic: Phéran'Exhonanhé, Tree  (Read 12820 times)
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Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels
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« Reply #30 on: 21 December 2008, 21:44:18 »

Hey, no one of you two did know what I had actually in mind! Do not assume too much! It does affect her trees, and so I need to mention it here and I wanted to do an extra thread about the weather here. Morden, you have been just a bit too quick.
And I have a solution! Hey, you two don't know me well!
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Morden Peshirgolz
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« Reply #31 on: 21 December 2008, 21:57:05 »

I'm sorry, Talia, I just didn't want to pull the thread away from Mifer's tree too much. I still remember all the fuss over hobbit meals that occurred in the cha'ah delight thread, and how much that angered Tela. I just was trying to be polite so we didn't repeat the situation. I probably took too much initiative for a newbie. My apologies.
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Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels
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« Reply #32 on: 22 December 2008, 03:17:29 »

Hey Morden, no need to apologise, and that has nothing to do with you being a newbie! I should have added some ;) :D , what ever, I was not annoyed. And principally you were right. ;)
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« Reply #33 on: 22 December 2008, 04:20:17 »

OK, Miés, you asked for a check ;)

I will incorporated some ideas for your elves as well, but I try to seperate them with a different colour. But watch out, I tend to forget it halfway through.Please kkep in mind:

That are proposals.
If I try to correct grammar, I might as well be wrong, but I will have a lok at the style as well
Underlined words are repetitions, maybe only concerning the sound.
I may ask for a lot of detail, but it is more that I just write down any ideas I have while going along with the submission.
And, spellcheck in this case is very difficult, please forgive my errors and typos.

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Category: Tree, Evergreen

Basic Overview: The Phéran'Exhonanhé (frozen-trees) are a very special species of tree in that they are ancient beyond measure. Before they were frozen, they were anciently tall evergreen trees akin to the Coastland Redwood.  Though not quite as tall as their cousins they reach an average of 80 peds tall (no tall), and may be 5 or more peds in diameter.  However, one can only speculate as to their age, because, for as far back as the written history of the Evathonrhim extends the trees have been there, and not far in to their history the trees were frozen in their current state. So the trees have at least been there since 12000 b.s., as the elves have been in the area for at least that long.  The Forest of Contamar and its Exhonán'lón is indeed a majestic sight.

Miés, this is just my opinion , but please don't go the easy way and compare it to a single type of tree from Southern Sarvonia (the coastal redwood). Though that might be the case, I really would like it better, if you created your own kind. Pick a tree you like very much, a huge one, change it somehow, so that you like it even better, and then describe it. If it was the coastal redwood, describe it nevertheless. Add something, the elves might have liked, a hollow inner, so they could easily integrate a staircase, anything, just let your imagination  flow. You can quote an old document, where the living tree is described, how the it has looked like. Or even better would be an additional poem about this magnificent tree! (BTWm which one did you have in mind?) But that would alread come under description.  - You could even describe how they stopped growing and became - slowly  - these icegiants.

About the time when this change happened - you just have to sit out the discussion about it.


Description: What were once massive red barked, evergreen trees are now even more massive towers of ice devoid of all color except the cold blues and whites of ice.  From tree trunk to tree top all appear to be intricately sculpted ice.  Every nook, every cranny, every branch with all of its needles stand as they have for centuries.  In daylight they look the part of massive reflective and sparkling crystal, and at night they appear to be extensions of stars from the sky.

I wonder, if they never change? "stand as they have for centuries" I mean, it snows there, on top of these trees as well, the sun might shine on special parts and there the temperature might even rise above freezing, so a bit of melting would set in? Then it could be foggy and the fog would grow new icecristalls?  See, what I mean? The base, 90 % or more of the tree is always frozen adn static as you described, but a little change on the surface would be nice and your forest would come to live, a little bit, you would encounter some changes, a surprising beautiful look could be the case one day, the next it might be gone.



 In a few spots on the trees one can see the original red color of the bark shining through.  These spots are most likely caused by the Tar'andus as they rub up against the trees to remove the velvet of their newly grown antlers in the time of autumn. The trunk of the tree is colored in a very dark,  purple-blue color where not rubbed through by the antlers of the Tar'andus, and the thick numerous branches, which begin to sprout out of the trunk at about 50 peds high, loose all color except the cold blue of ice as they taper out to their tips.

That is too much confusing info at the same time. What colour has the trunk? Icewhite, or purple blue? I thought the original colour only shines through, where these deers rub their antlers, but that is red - where comes the blue - purple from? .

Start a new sentence and give the branches room!
50 peds high? Do coastal REdwoods look like this? 50 peds is very high, and in this case to exact, I fear. And it sounds so scientific, not marvelous enough. I would just say, the branches sprout out only very high above the ground , more than half of the lower trunk is free of branches (Hey, please use a better English!)


 The countless needles hang from the branches in an absence of all color except white, and appear more the part of tiny ice cycles, than that of plant life.

Maybe shades of white, with a the slightest hue of blues or grey? For purely white  - you probably could not distinc anything.

If one looks closely at the higher reaches of the trees one can find the dwellings of the native Evathonrhim elves, 50 peds above the ground? I would ot mention them here, with one sentence, but give them an their homes an extra paragraph elsewhere. You continue with the roots.. the elves are somehw displaced here, keep to the tree first.

and flocks of Nue'mon flying around, but very seldom would one see the elves themselves. The giant roots, and their one-time properties of growth allow for very little undergrowth in the midst of these trees. Crystal Grass can, however, be found in clumps around these trees, and it is said that this Crystal Grass marks the graves of the ancient ancestors of the Evathonrhim currently living in the area.

How far are these trees apart from each other? I don't understand the "one-time properties of growth", but that might just be me.

Territory:  These frozen trees can be found at the Northern tip of the Iol Peninsula in the form of a forest known as the Forest of Contamar, and it is assumed by some that the Coastal Redwood found throughout the world is a descendent of this ancient tree.  If indeed, these are the ancient ancestors of the Coastal Redwood, then, these trees are without doubt as old as any standing remnants in Caelereth, as the Costal Redwood itself is very ancient.

OK, I see, but I would nevertheless describe the tree first AND then link to the Coastal Redwood. It was here first, after all!


Usages:  As frozen monsters, Oh no, don't calll the trees I just started to love monsters! Giants, maybe!these trees offer little to a visitor of the land, but to the native Evathonrhim they are the foundations of homes.  In the higher reaches of Contamar Forest the elves form their homes of ice using much the same technique of combined water magic and sculpting as the Cyhallorhim elves of Cyhalloi use to make their fabled Ice Towers.  These homes, like the ice of their tree foundations can not be melted using such forces as natural fire, and therefore, can be much more comfortable homes than one would imagine. (If I have not gotten the point across clearly enough; the ice of these trees, and the elf homes built in their upper reaches can not be melted by natural fire, and therefore; a fire can by built within these structures to make for a warm and cozy home.) The trees offer little else, even to the natives.

I see your problem, but I think there is another solution. My first problem was, that you suddenly introduce some magic: "like the ice of their tree foundations", that is a bit irritating. Where comes this magic from, why is it needed? If you want to have fire in these homes, that would be no problem. Just invent a very insulating fabric, to prevent the fire of melting anything.(It could even be a very thick plank of wood, which would not burn too deeply, if it is thick enough, because the ashes prevent this).  I don't know, if you want to have the temperature in these housing above zero, even that woudl be no problem. The walls would melt slightly, but as soon as the fire is gone, they would freeze again. Like in Inuit iglus.

Reproduction: No longer capable of reproducing, the breed stands stagnant, but it has been rumored throughout history that these trees once grew as a result of a healthy "mother" tree's sprouting new roots which in turn turned up out the ground in the form of other trees. Please break up this sentence! This is just speculation of course, and the trees could just as easily have reproduced using the same old seed and fertilization process as so many other trees do. If it is myth, it belongs there

Lore:  There is an old tale told by the elders of the Evathonrhim, which describes the coming of the great freeze, and the ever after frozen trees of the Forest of Contamar.  It is said that there was a young Elf possessed of a special gift with the magics of water.  His talent grew with years and soon none could match his mastery over the element's magic.  In an attempt to freeze the waters of the Ice Sea, and thus expand the territory of the elves he angered the Gods with his arrogance.  The Gods reversed his spell, and rather than freezing the sea his spell froze the great forest that was once the life source of his tribe.  Out of shame for his failure he took his own life, and over the course of time his name was forgotten. But, the forest of ice stands evermore to remind his brethren not to tamper with the earth given them, and to be thankful for what they already have.

Nice explanation, just keep gods now. If you decide about another religion, you can gods alwways replace with whatever is needed.

Very nice, but it would be even better, if you could give us a picture of the living tree. And if it is the anchestor of the Coastal Redwood, then don't compare him too early, but draw a picture of it first and then say, all these trees down there are just....


To the elves and their religion, the wood and the change of climate. A proposal!!! Nothing more than an idea. Take it, if ypu ike it, or skip it!
As I said above, you need to sit out , when the change of weather occured and if it was quite suddenly, or over a longer time.
If it was suddenly, then this would be the right time for your elves to change their believes away from what they brought with them from Fa'av'ca'lar. They might have had a (slight?) different belief already. Maybe this was the reason they left. But it is unlikely, that it was something totally different. Well, regardeless, if they had already a variation/heresy of the old elven belief, now with the weather change could come the time of a even greater change. Somebody , a new prophet or leader could use the abrupt weatherchange as a proof that he/she is right. Well, that's all for now!


I hope I could help!
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Miés´efér Lytherá
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« Reply #34 on: 06 February 2009, 03:42:51 »

Talia,
Thank you fro your comments, and I will integrate many of them.There are a couple of things that I don't feel are necessary, however, and I will try to explain why. First and formost, I wish for these trees (along with the forest and elves) to be very enigmatic, and too precise of a description of their past would take away from this. I am designing the tree under the precept that all I have to work with is the accounts given by the elves. These accounts are full of mythology, and separating myth from fact is therefore nigh impossible. There is no clear account of their pre-ice existence, and as such much is left up to speculation. For example: the real reproduction cycles of the tree are unknown as the trees no longer reproduce. Enigma, Enigma, Enigma!

You also mention my idea on the trees never changing. I stated that this was due to the magical nature of their ice. The ice does not melt by natural means. It does chip, but it does not melt. This is what I implied when I alluded to the fact that the only change in appearance of these trees was wrought by the rubbing of antlers. This rubbing did not melt the ice, but merely chipped away at it.

With all of this in mind I will re-read my entry, and try to make my intentions in their explanation more clear. I am open to suggestions on how this could best be achieved.

Keep Dreaming,
Mifer
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Miés´efér Lytherá
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« Reply #35 on: 06 February 2009, 04:02:14 »

The new changes are in teal.
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Miés´efér Lytherá
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« Reply #36 on: 10 February 2009, 06:35:44 »

Is there any thing else I need for this one?
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Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels
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« Reply #37 on: 10 February 2009, 23:31:29 »

I can't reread your tree just now (I think though you did it well and your arguments convinced me). I just asked myself, if this berry plant then has such magical abilities as well - then my comments are irrelevant. But then you should add something about this as well (to the berries)
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« Reply #38 on: 03 March 2009, 05:22:28 »

So where are we at with this one?
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« Reply #39 on: 03 March 2009, 08:25:34 »

Illegibility, with those letters. But we are still at a point where i should be around sometime soon to have a look at it.

Oh. that means i actually have to look at it, don't i?

Will do that sometime this week, but my next few days are rather busy, sorry!
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« Reply #40 on: 19 June 2009, 02:10:18 »

Not that I'm in a position to demand anything after such a long absence, but could we try to get this one back on track towards approval.
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Deklitch Hardin
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« Reply #41 on: 19 June 2009, 08:39:14 »

Hi there, Miés´efér,

I thought I'd drop in and give a few thoughts on this tree. My primary focus will be looking at grammar and spelling and things like that, rather than content as such. In any case, all are just my opinion, I will be using blue for suggested corrections and green for questions/comments.

Category: Tree, Evergreen

Basic Overview: An enigma in every form of the word, the great ice trees of the Iol are only definable by myth interpretation. As such, some facts will be foggy and unclear for as long as elf nor man are omniscient. The Phéran'Exhonanhé (frozen-trees) are a very special species of tree in that they are ancient beyond measure. Before they were frozen, they were anciently tall evergreen trees akin to the Coastland Redwood.  Though not quite as tall as their cousins they reach an average of eighty peds tall, and may be five or more peds in diameter.  However, one can only speculate as to their age, because, for as far back as the written history of the Evathonrhim extends the trees have been there, and not far in to their history the trees were frozen in their current state. So the trees have at least been there since 12000 b.S., as the elves have been in the area for at least that long. The Forest of Contamar and its Exhonán'lón is indeed a majestic sight.

Description: What were once massive red barked, evergreen trees are now even more massive towers of ice devoid of all color except the cold blues and whites of ice.  From tree trunk to tree top all appear to be intricately sculpted ice.  Every nook, every cranny, every branch with all of its needles stand as they have for centuries.  In daylight they look the part of massive reflective and sparkling crystal, and at night they appear to be extensions of stars from the sky.  In a few spots on the trees one can see the original red color of the bark shining through.  These spots are most likely caused by the Tar'andus as they rub up against the trees to remove the velvet of their newly grown antlers in the time of autumn. The trunk of the tree is coloured in a very dark, You have two spaces in here, please remove one purple-blue color where not rubbed through by the antlers of the Tar'andus, and the thick numerous branches, which begin to sprout out of the trunk at about fifty[/fifty] peds high, loose all colour except the cold blue of ice as they taper out to their tips. That last sentence has 55 words in it. By the time I got to the end of it, I forgot what the start of it had begun. It would probably be a good idea to break it into two sentences. Maybe, the comma after Tar'andus could become a full stop/period and start the next sentence with 'The'?  The countless needles hang from the branches in an absence of all colour except white, and appear more the part of tiny ice cycles, than that of plant life.

If one looks closely at the higher reaches of the trees he or she can find the dwellings of the native Evathonrhim elves, a space in here please] and flocks of Nue'mon flying around, but very seldom would one see the elves themselves. The giant roots, and their one-time properties of growth allow for very little undergrowth in the midst of these trees. Crystal Grass can, however, be found in clumps around these trees, and it is said that this Crystal Grass marks the graves of the ancient ancestors of the Evathonrhim currently living in the area.

Territory:  These frozen trees can be found at the Northern tip of the Iol Peninsula in the form of a forest known as the Forest of Contamar, and it is assumed by some that the Coastal Redwood found throughout the world is a descendant of this ancient tree.  If indeed, these are the ancient ancestors of the Coastal Redwood, then, these trees are without doubt as old as any standing remnants in Caelereth, as the Coastal Redwood itself is very ancient.

Usages:  As frozen giants, these trees offer little to a visitor of the land, but to the native Evathonrhim they are the foundations of homes.  In the higher reaches of Contamar Forest the elves form their homes of ice using much the same technique of combined water magic and sculpting as the Cyhallorhim elves of Cyhalloi use to make their fabled Ice Towers.  These homes, like the ice of their tree foundations can not be melted using such forces as natural fire, and therefore, can be much more comfortable homes than one would imagine. (If I have not gotten the point across clearly enough; the ice of these trees, and the elf homes built in their upper reaches can not be melted by natural fire, and therefore; a fire can by built within these structures to make for a warm and cozy home.) The trees offer little else, even to the natives.

Reproduction: No longer capable of reproducing, the breed stands stagnant, but it has been rumoured throughout history that these trees once grew as a result of a healthy "mother" tree's sprouting new roots which in turn turned up out the ground in the form of other trees.  This is just speculation of course, and the trees could just as easily have reproduced using the same old seed and fertilization process as so many other trees do.

Lore:  There is an old tale told by the elders of the Evathonrhim, which describes the coming of the great freeze, and the ever after frozen trees of the Forest of Contamar.  It is said that there was a young Elf possessed of a special gift with the magics of water.  His talent grew with years and soon none could match his mastery over the element's magic.  In an attempt to freeze the waters of the Ice Sea, and thus expand the territory of the elves he angered the Gods with his arrogance.  The Gods reversed his spell, and rather than freezing the sea his spell froze the great forest that was once the life source of his tribe.  Out of shame for his failure he took his own life, and over the course of time his name was forgotten. But, the forest of ice stands evermore to remind his brethren not to tamper with the earth given them, and to be thankful for what they already have.

Note: The tree itself is in many ways mythological, and no truly fact based accounts of its pre-ice existence can be found. Many ideas, such as the tree's affiliation with the coastal redwood are only speculation. Until someone finds a way to melt the ice from these trees, they will stand as a testament to the inability of even the most thoughtful being to understand all of the workings of nature.


Just a few comments for you, Miés´efér. I hope they were of help to you. The entry reads well to me, and as someone who has no experience with that part of this world, it painted a clear picture in my mind's eye as to what the tree looks like.

Regarding the numerals verses words thing for the numbers. That is just a personal preference of mine, I think either is fine, you were consistantly using the numerals throughout.
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Miés´efér Lytherá
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« Reply #42 on: 20 June 2009, 01:37:00 »

Thank you Deklitch, I have made all of the suggested changes including those concerning numerals.  Words do read easier than the expressed values, and I am grateful for your input. You know, you should join us northerners up here, after all we do have more fun.  I'm not really so sure if the last statement was true, but I certainly enjoy it up here with the likes of Tharoc, Allysse, Grunok and many more.  It's a pretty good group of people. Anyways; you'll chase after your own interests and though I know little of the goings on outside of the far north, I'll be happy to help you with anything I can along the way.  Thanks again for your input!!! thanx
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« Reply #43 on: 11 October 2009, 16:06:16 »

I'll take this in as well - seems to have satsified the last commenters and looks good to me, so up it goes finally.
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