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Author Topic: Remusian Men v2.1  (Read 20526 times)
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Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels
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« Reply #45 on: 25 May 2009, 06:56:44 »

Just read the belief section. I saw no major flaws, but will try to read it more thoroughly this week (hopefully).

That reminded me, that I wanted to finish this maps for the history...

One thing that puzzled me: Orcs in the east of Remusian lands? Not only icetribes? And the orcs in the west?
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Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin
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« Reply #46 on: 25 May 2009, 07:40:13 »

Well, more to the south.  The Heaths of Wilderon run the full gamut of the south side of the Gathorn Mountain range, so on either edge of the range the Remusians expansion south would have put them into conflict with the orcs.  The other Ice Tribes to the east are further north than the orcs.  And, this holds true in the west as well, if we go forward with the plan we had discussed in the other thread.
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Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin
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« Reply #47 on: 25 May 2009, 16:46:50 »

Festivals, Holidays and Observances have been added. :D
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Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin
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« Reply #48 on: 26 May 2009, 05:06:27 »

The Miltary section has now been added.  Next up is... is...  shocked

I think I'm done!

Well, except for all the rewrites and edits I will no doubt need to do, for Kor'och knows I'm not smart enough to get it right the first time. 

18 months project. Yikes.

Good luck to all those brave enough to try and help me with this.  I shall now go back over the suggestions made so far, and clean those up.
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Artimidor Federkiel
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« Reply #49 on: 26 May 2009, 05:15:52 »

Looks like a lifetime's work to me, Altario! rolleyes When are we supposed to read all that? shocked
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Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin
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« Reply #50 on: 26 May 2009, 10:35:35 »

I'm innocent Arti rolleyes  I blame this on all those people who, when I first started here, kept critiquing my work by saying "You need to expand more on this.  You don't explain enough".  Then there are the Coren's, the Deci's, the Garret's of the sight who set incredible standards to meet...

Oh, besides, nobody ever looked at Moses and said "Hey, Mo, you think that there bible story you are writing might be a tad too long?" buck
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Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin
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« Reply #51 on: 27 May 2009, 12:44:38 »

Edits are done in the colour yellow

I will address certain comments here:

Talia:
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How many are then nomadic? How much people counts the tribe in total? If you know that. 


I'm not sure anyone would be able to make an accurate guess at the precise number of people there due to the nomadic tendancies of the people.  I have approximately 25,000 in the cities, but this would in truth be only a partial count and the bulk of the population would not be accounted for.  Not sure how we could come up with an accurate estimation on that.  I was kinda hoping that one guy (sorry, forgot his name buck) would start applying his scientific matrixes to that area.  But alas...

There is a whole big paragraph on Dorm-nak and Barsalon which I won't C&P here, but you and I should discuss this more at length somewhere somehow. :D

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Was that the climate section?


Uhm... I wasn't going to go in depth into the actual climate until I did the actual places entry on the Frozen Wastes.  If you need more, I can always add anothr paragraph to this.

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Is wood traded from the south?

Hadn't planned on it yet.  Right now, they are plundering the Mantle Woods.  Though, I'm sure some enterprising sea captain will one day.

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You could use Mithrilan to enhance your iron

Maybe that could be Odomon's secret?  But, as for the bulk of Remusian steel, I'd prefer to have them have an inferior metal.  I wan't to keep this a society that has many flaws.  More interesting tan having it all figured out.

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The smiths could use dried wison dung as well, don‘t knw, if you want to mention it here. And there will be crude oil available, but I have no idea, how to use it in smithies.

I use dried wison dung for regular fires in the home, but I'm not sure it would burn hot enough for a proper smelting operation.  So, maybe I'll leave it as is for now, unless you know that animal dung would burn that hot.

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Hmm, I don‘t like how you introduced this „lower“ and „higher“, though I do not object generally, for the old Icetribe members might themselves see as „lower“, but not in a negative way. Just as a well off farmer saw his nobility as „higher“, which did not affect his self-esteem.

As a history and ancient cultures buff, I have often seen the terms Higher and Lower describe different aspects of societies.  In fact, it is used nowadays to describe segments of our society.  I'm sure that the Remusian's would not use these terms to describe themselves, but only by outside observers trying to show the marked diffeences between the more progressive elements of their society and the more traditional.

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There remains stil the question, how far the single icetribe folows the migrstional wison. Are they just killed when they cross the territory? And the rest of the - half - year they lookout for something else?

They would follow to a point, until they had killed as much meat as they could use at one time, much like the North American Natives did with the buffalo, however, though not observing set border lines drawn on a map, they would not venture too far into territory controled by another tribe.  Too dangerous.

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And these villas have surely a floor (and wall) heating like the Romans had!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypocaust


Still thinking on this.  On the one hand, I'm very intrigued.  On the other, I'm not sure I want to add that level of technology. (see the Mithralan discussin)

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And what are the other poor Icetribe wearing?

I described that in the first section of the Clothing Section ;)

Doesn‘t the cold (=freezing weather) preserve the meat anyway?

Not in all cases, not in all places. :D  Summer, though not getting hot, does warm up more than your typical deep freeze, and south of the Gathorns and west of Sorsokon are not permafrost areas.  So, in these situations, preserving meat would be a boon.

Deci:
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(Giants meaning The Giant Races or actual, textbook Giants?)

I was meaning the giants (peat giants) mentioned in the Ice Tibe entry that have yet to be developed.

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(Wouldn't things like Wood be more important, as you mention before? I think if wood is considered a luxury theres a great probability you could be a 'Wood Baron' as it were)

Yes, wood is a valuable item (see the discussion about wood in Talias section).  However, with the introduction of southern peoples, gold would become increasingly important as a comodity.  And, most cultures do intrinsicly have a desire for gold, for its malability and its ability to resist rusting, and.. cuz its pretty. :P

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If I missed any capitalisation of Animal Names, it would be helpful if you scanned it again

not sure if these animal names need to be capitalized.  I don't write Buffalo robe. I write buffalo robe, horse blanket, etc.

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(is eck a word?)


Yes. akin to carve, as in to eck out a living = to carve out a living

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(with who? You mention alot of warriors, alot of past foes, but nothing really 'current')

As I'm decribing the traditions of the widow and hger hair, I don't think here is necessarily where I need to place the particular battles.  The same tradition would hold true regardless of the battle or the enemy.

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Um, I assume the differences between the omnipresent 'high' and 'low' Remusians will be discussed later, right?

See above in Talia's section.

Quote
(generational? Meaning, what exactly? Various generations of the same family live in one house?)


Self explanatory?  and it is referred to further in the paragraph.



Thank you both, Talia and Deci. :D  I appreciated the comments.  If my answers to these comments are not satisfactory, please, let us discuss them further and see what we can do to improve the entry.
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« Reply #52 on: 28 May 2009, 17:31:00 »

Just read the whole thing.

This is an amazing entry. I honestly can't see too much that needs changes. Only a couple of suggestions.


First: Only a single trade ship? The Remusians don't seem to be that great at sea travel (at least to be able to get by on only a single ship that has to travel practically the entire length of the world), considering how far the ship has to go, there is a high likelihood of it being lost/destroyed. I don't see a single trade ship as being able to survive more than a single century of use, if not far less. Particularly when it would only be able to carry a fairly minor load for the distance it must go and the length of time. The longer the distance, the less resources acquired for the time spent, and the greater likelihood of it being lost in the journey. Considering how much southern culture the Remusians seem to be trying to emulate, I'd think they'd have a couple more than just one.

Second: In the Architecture section, you say there is a complete lack of mortar. Yet in the housing section, you say mud and ice is used as a mortar (and insulation, but as mortar first). Is the latter something only apparent in low-class buildings? If so, it should be mentioned that there isn't a complete lack of mortar, just that it is used only in the lower class buildings where well-carved stone puzzle pieces are too expensive.

Third: The Forsaken Blade is not mentioned enough, I think. For a sword that is important enough to be the national banner, I'd think it'd warrant more than 3 sentences spread throughout the entry. Maybe that's just me though.

Last: Though 10 warships is already fairly small, that still seems a bit too much to me. I don't think Remusians, living in a land where the chance of naval combat is all but non-existent, would have any dedicated warships at all. For their harsh environment, and lack of wood, they strike me as being very practical. So IMO, I'd see their ships being built in such a way as to be all-purpose. Instead of dedicated for war, make the transports/trading ships sturdily built and able to be reconfigured for military use if needed. The Galleon for instance was a ship that was designed to be a trader, but built in such a way as to be able to ward off pirate attacks and frequently repurposed for military roles.


Other than that, I loved the entry. Very very detailed, and a ton of culture to it that really gives the Remusians a lot of flavour.
« Last Edit: 28 May 2009, 17:38:55 by Fox » Logged
Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin
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« Reply #53 on: 29 May 2009, 01:00:02 »

You read the whole thing?  In one night?  Brave girl. shocked

Thank you for the compliment.  I will adress all your comments:

First: Yes, I would like to keep it at only one trade ship.  The Remusians really don't travel that far, and never to the south.  Instead, they wait for southern traders to come to them.  For the most part, they don't care to go too far from home.  I have explained it better in the text, so that it makes more sense to the reader.

Second: The Architecture I have changed.  I now have explained the differences in style, and marked it.

Third: The Forsaken Blade has its own entry on site, so when the Remusian entry is up, all 3 references will be linked to that entry.  Writing more about it would just be repetition.

Fourth:  Agreed that 10 was too many, so I dropped it to 5.  As for combining the fishing and military vessels, I think that if it was another Ice Tribe, that would work.  The Remusians, however, are very militaristic in their views.  So that if the military wanted their own ships, they would get their own ships, no questions asked.  I have mentioned that they have not been in any naval battles, but the Remusian mindset would be to have them tend to be prepared.  Especially now that foreign ships are entering their waters with more frequency.

Once again, thank you for the comments. :D
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« Reply #54 on: 29 May 2009, 02:16:39 »

Oh sorry. When I read that it went as far as Carbrand, I mistook that for Carmalad. My bad.

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« Reply #55 on: 10 June 2009, 04:17:00 »

Slowly, but surely we should try to get this entry up. It's a bit difficult for various reasons - for one it's pretty lengthy, even though I'm sure that Altario's experience makes sure that it's correctly done. On the other hand it's also not properly sorted yet, and it seems a bit of a mix between a Tribe's and a Places entry. Can you try to sort it all somewhat, Altario? Sections of our Tribes scheme are a bit to and fro, and other sections don't seem to fit 100% to a Tribes entry, at least we haven't had them before there, other stuff is entirely new. So I'm a bit of a loss where to categorize it, and that should be brought a bit in order first. Maybe some parts can be made into a sub entry and then linked from a overview paragraph in the main entry?

One basic thing I can point out right now already is the Overview. Though we now have such a massive entry, the Overview is very minimalistic and doesn't go into a lot of detail. At least some very basic features need to be there, cause a reader that has no idea what you're talking about wouldn't even know that we're drealing with a Northern Sarvonian tribe, a human one at that. So recommendation #1: Please sort it, recommendation #2: Overview needs serious update! More soon.
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« Reply #56 on: 10 June 2009, 05:09:10 »

For sure it has a bit of the terrain in with the entry because, in my opinion, very few tribes are so closely tied with their environment.  To understand them is to need to understand where they live. 

And yes, I did follow more of a modern day encyclopedic approach to the entry than the template provided.  I did this because I knew it was going to be a large enty, and I felt that the template wasn't comprehensive enough for what I have in mind.

My last point, is that I really consider this entire thing an Overview entry.  I have tons more I want to add to nearly every section that I have laid out thus far.  In time, I will have seperate entries on most of these sections, but this will take a long time to make happen.  I think it would be a diservice to cut them out now in order to place a smaller entry up.

Now, all that said, you know that I rarely plant my feet in cement, nor do I raise my hackles needlessly, so you let me know what I need to do in order to move this forward, and we can do it.  Can we have a section by section approval and place them in the compendium that way, over a span of a few updates?  Or does it need to go in in its entirety?
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« Reply #57 on: 10 June 2009, 05:28:36 »

We can check it/put it up bit by bit with a few sections at a time and eventually get the whole thing on site, yup. But in order to start with that we need to have the sections sorted a bit so that they are approximately in line with the general Tribes theme, at least roughly. Then expand the Overview a bit so that the reader gets a basic idea what we're dealing with, and then we can work through the sections and see where there are further adjustments needed etc.
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« Reply #58 on: 10 June 2009, 05:31:29 »

 thumbup

On it.  I'll redo the overview (again).  I hate the overview part.  Its my worst section. :P

And I'll try to sort the sections a bit more.
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« Reply #59 on: 13 June 2009, 05:25:04 »

Overview is expanded quite a bit.  And all the sections have been shuffled to fit into the existing format, albeit with sub-sections. :D
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