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Author Topic: Soros the Stranger Alchemist  (Read 11634 times)
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Lionhorse
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« Reply #30 on: 03 March 2009, 05:20:40 »

Ehhh... Don't worry, everything is fine. I just had a hard days recently at school and... well... I hope you do understand, but don't worry I'll try to fix that entry.  grin grin thumbup
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Tharoc Wargrider
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« Reply #31 on: 03 March 2009, 05:39:21 »

Group hug! hug
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Use the force, Luke.

And if that doesn't work, try switching it off and back on again.
Lionhorse
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« Reply #32 on: 24 April 2009, 23:49:33 »

ENTRY UPDATED!!!

If I missed something, just tell me.

By the way, sorry for sudden disappearance. I'm a bit busy right now, due to the exams that are coming closer with each day and I think that I'm slowly loosing my mind. Well... anyway in some stress I am. So... sorry, again.

Tharoc, by the way I haven't forgot about the orcish song that I promissed. As soon as I'll finish it, I'll present it to you.
« Last Edit: 24 April 2009, 23:52:08 by Lionhorse » Logged

Fox
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« Reply #33 on: 25 April 2009, 05:59:57 »

Two quick notes:

First, in the overview, you mention that the explosion sounded like 'the noise of a cannon'. In Santharia, we don't have cannons, so you'll need to use another descriptor there. Something related to the more 'natural' explosions that occur during a large fire for instance, possibly?

Second, I don't think saying 'he is also the only person in Voldar who seems to care about farmers'. That's a bit too assuming, I think, as there must be others working on behalf of the farmers. Maybe say 'he is perhaps one of the few', which would leave it open that while he is one of the only, he isn't 'the only'.


Also, I'd recommend writing something on what he's currently working on. For instance, if he discovered Sodium, I don't think he'd have just 'mentioned it' to other scholars, he'd probably have worked on or is working on further experiments to discover more properties of the element as well as research papers to document its effects, as well as possibly areas in which it might be used.


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Lionhorse
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« Reply #34 on: 25 April 2009, 06:49:58 »

Fox, thanks about the cannons. I'll try to figure something out, about farmers, I'll just edit that place with your words and about present time researches... I'll try to think something.  grin  thumbup



Edit: ENTRY EDITED!!!
« Last Edit: 25 April 2009, 21:52:41 by Lionhorse » Logged

Artimidor Federkiel
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« Reply #35 on: 26 April 2009, 18:30:22 »

I'll try to get this into this week's update, Lionhorse - there are a few things where some rewording should be done methinks, some rearranging of passages and some smaller things here and there, but I'll fix these myself upon uploading it, so that we don't get another three weeks delay on this :)
« Last Edit: 26 April 2009, 20:38:38 by Artimidor Federkiel » Logged



"Between the mind that plans and the hands that build there must be a mediator, and this must be the heart." -- Maria (Metropolis)
Lionhorse
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« Reply #36 on: 26 April 2009, 23:21:07 »

Sure.  grin Anyways, now I know that I'm not good at People of Caelereth developing.  grin  thumbup
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Artimidor Federkiel
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« Reply #37 on: 27 April 2009, 01:04:55 »

lol Don't worry - you just need some experience, and you collect that bit by bit in the course of time ;)
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"Between the mind that plans and the hands that build there must be a mediator, and this must be the heart." -- Maria (Metropolis)
Lionhorse
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« Reply #38 on: 27 April 2009, 02:27:26 »

Nice!!!  grin  thumbup
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