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Ferlawyng
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Rayne (Alýr)
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Re: Ferlawyng
«
Reply #15 on:
29 December 2009, 02:31:42 »
Thank you so much for the information, Mira!
I've integrated all your details into the entry, and have finally been able to change the icon! Hopefully I can get
rid of th
this entry integrated soon!
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"There is much misjudgment in the world. Now, I knew you for a unicorn when I first saw you, and I know that I am your friend. Yet you take me for a clown, or a clod, or a betrayer, and so I must be if you see me so. The magic on you is only magic and will vanish as soon as you are free, but the enchantment of error that you put on me I must wear forever in your eyes. We are not always what we seem..." -Schmendrick the Magician, The Last Unicorn
Azhira Styralias
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Re: Ferlawyng
«
Reply #16 on:
31 December 2009, 07:47:39 »
Quote from: Rayne Avalotus on 29 December 2009, 02:31:42
Thank you so much for the information, Mira!
I've integrated all your details into the entry, and have finally been able to change the icon! Hopefully I can get
rid of th
this entry integrated soon!
You'll have to PM Deci. Our Oxford student doesn't come around much anymore.
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No, I would not want to live in a world without dragons, as I would not want to live in a world without magic, for that is a world without mystery, and that is a world without faith. And that, I fear, for any reasoning, conscious being, would be the cruelest trick of all.
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Rayne (Alýr)
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Re: Ferlawyng
«
Reply #17 on:
31 December 2009, 08:55:40 »
None of them do.
Though Oxford students are on break right now. But I don't necessarily need Mira to look over the entry--anyone can. It's just nice to have it completed.
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"There is much misjudgment in the world. Now, I knew you for a unicorn when I first saw you, and I know that I am your friend. Yet you take me for a clown, or a clod, or a betrayer, and so I must be if you see me so. The magic on you is only magic and will vanish as soon as you are free, but the enchantment of error that you put on me I must wear forever in your eyes. We are not always what we seem..." -Schmendrick the Magician, The Last Unicorn
Miraran Tehuriden
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Re: Ferlawyng
«
Reply #18 on:
31 December 2009, 12:42:05 »
Tssk... i'm perfectly available!
And i'll give this a thorough look once the first round of the Awards are prepared and set in motion. (Hopefully before midnight tomorrow!)
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Avrah Kehabhra
"The whole POINT of Nybelmar is that no one has any idea whats going on, overly long entries keep it that way." - Decipher Ziron
Rayne (Alýr)
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Re: Ferlawyng
«
Reply #19 on:
08 January 2010, 08:43:59 »
Quote from: Miraran Tehuriden on 31 December 2009, 12:42:05
Tssk... i'm perfectly available!
And i'll give this a thorough look once the first round of the Awards are prepared and set in motion. (Hopefully before midnight tomorrow!)
Rayne wanders in to the thread, glances at Mira's last post, then puts her hands on her hips and looks around the thread with furrowed brows. It seems another commentary has gone and wandered off again. The little elf sighs with frustration, then wanders off to see if she can find it.
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"There is much misjudgment in the world. Now, I knew you for a unicorn when I first saw you, and I know that I am your friend. Yet you take me for a clown, or a clod, or a betrayer, and so I must be if you see me so. The magic on you is only magic and will vanish as soon as you are free, but the enchantment of error that you put on me I must wear forever in your eyes. We are not always what we seem..." -Schmendrick the Magician, The Last Unicorn
Decipher Ziron
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Re: Ferlawyng
«
Reply #20 on:
14 January 2010, 00:15:26 »
For the record, I'm not AT Oxford yet! I've received an offer, I still have to put the work in to get the grades!
And now to business (and its Nybelmarian business! My favourite!)
Ferlawyng
A strange, mystical creature dwelling in the densely grown forests and wood of Nybelmar, particularly the Drafting Wood, the Ferlawyng was long thought a thing of myth and legend until recent research revealed its true existence
(true existence sounds a bit funny to me....'revealed its existence to be true' perhaps?)
. Its appearance strikes awe and fascination
into
those who look upon it, and it has been compared
to
dragons, fish, snakes, and even bats, though it remains something entirely separate from these. The shy Ferlawyng holds unknown magical abilities belied by its docile nature. Although large, it eats only the leaves of the canopy.
For a long time, those few who saw the Ferlawyng believed it came from no where, that it spawned out of air and trees and light, but since then, its means of reproduction have come to light
(Not a real qualm, but I think usage of 'trees and light' and 'come to light' in the same sentence sounds a bit repetitive...you could use a substitute for the phrase 'come to light' to fix it)
, mostly through accidental discovery.
Appearance:The Ferlawyng stretches nearly two and a half peds, with a slender and perhaps even elegant figure covered with small, flexible scales like those of a fish. It has a wide, flat head, like that of a shark, but
has
no teeth. It eats through grazing off leaves with its lips and simply swallowing them down. The stomach of the Ferlawing contains potent acid that can burn through almost anything
(then what prevents it from burning straight through the Ferlawyng itself?)
. All along its snout, tendrils feel the surrounding world, as the eyes of the beast, almond-shaped and black like those of a deer, do not see well. It also has two tendrils above its eyes, giving it an almost dragon-like appearance. In addition to these feelers, the Ferlawyng uses a soft, high-pitched call to eco-locate the trees around it. It also uses smell, collecting scents through the two large nostrils on the top of its head.
The Ferlawyng has several fin-like wings on its body, 6 in total, and while it is generally categorized as a flying creature, would better be described as floating or gliding through the air, as if swimming on a current. The creature has two fins on either side of its body, starting as three scaly protrusions and then thinning out into the transparent, iridescent wings it uses to fly. The shape of the wings are hard to determine while in flight, as they tend to ripple and move like airy cloth; the shape differs from creature to creature, with edges as varied as a maple leaves, but they generally follow a shape similar to bat wings, but of a material and elegance unworthy of such comparison. The creature also has a fin-like wing at its back, the airy wing connecting to protrusion off its back. The tail also contains a wing used to propel it through the air. This “wing,” which extends from the end of the tail, has a separation in its center. In addition to these wings, the Ferlawyng has two others, smaller, that extend from its belly. Generally, the location and appearance of the wings give the Ferlawyng an almost fish-like appearance, and indeed it seems to move through the air as though swimming.
The Ferlawyng has no arms, no claws, no feet at all, and does not need them, as it does not generally move along the ground. Some believe that the creature moves always or else sleeps suspended in the air. Others say that the creature lies among the trees or even on the ground. No one knows for sure. Almost every instance in which it has been seen, it has been in flight in the canopies.
The Ferlawyng comes in many different colors that seem to depend little on environment or season. Red Ferlawyngs shine with a reddish-orange hue through its shiny scales and have wings, transparent and light, shimmering in a light orangey-red, slightly lighter than the body itself. Although Ferlawyngs of this color are commonly called Fire Ferlawings, they exhibit no unusual propensities toward fire in comparison to other Ferlawings. Gold Ferlawyngs, sometimes called Sun Ferlawyngs, have a slightly lighter coloration, with scales that shimmer like gold, and wings that have a golden iridescent. Though most consider the Gold and Fire Ferlawyngs the most common, others have argued that their color makes them more noticeable, and that perhaps they seem more common that they actually are.
The less seen Blue (or Purple) and Green Ferlawyngs are generally considered rarer. The Green Ferlawyng has a deep green color along its scales, sometimes with hints of blue or bronze in its color, and wings slightly lighter and more yellow, often a chartreuse with a styruine iridescence. Blue or Purple Ferlawyngs (Also called Night Ferlawyngs) have blue or indigo scales and wings of lighter blue and purple that shimmer with a star-like quality. Because few have ever seen these Ferlawyngs, some still consider them myth and legend, the stuff of fairytales.
Special Abilities: The Ferlawyngs have no proven special abilities, though generally their flight is seen as a thing of magic, and not necessarily a gift lent by their structure. Though they have poor sight, they navigate gracefully through the trees both through the tendrils that feel out their environment and through their use of eco-location. The echo of their voices through the trees gives the forests a mystical music that none who’ve heard can really explain. Their skill in moving through the trees makes them hard to locate and hard to catch a glimpse of, and it is just this ability to stay hidden that has kept them shrouded in myth so long, and even after their noted discovery, kept them a strange and mysterious animal.
There is general agreement that these creatures have magical powers, but not completely decided what these magical powers are. Those who have come in direct contact with them report their scales being warm, even when the air turned cold with the coming of night or the winter settling in. This leads to the assumption that these beasts have some sort of fire magic, though none have recalled them actually creating fire. Many report this creature as having healing capabilities, healing wounds and bringing starved or mortally wounded people back from the brink of death. One case reports a blind girl becoming lost in a forest where Ferlawyngs dwelt and emerged a week later with the ability to see. Whether or not these reports hold true remains debatable, but it continues to be one of the few agreed-upon assertions.
One of the abilities to which there seems to be a more factual basis is that the Ferlawyng possess some sort of nature magic. Those woods and forests where Ferlawyngs dwell generally have larger trees and flowers which tend to live longer. Autumn comes to a Ferlawyng’s wood later than the surroundings. Usually the difference is only slight—from the outside both woods look the same, but once inside, the difference becomes apparent. In addition, many herbs and plants that grow no where else grow in Ferlawyng woods, some with unusual magical properties, or so it is said.
The magic of the Ferlawyng sparked many rumors that to kill one brought about bad luck and curse, and part of this may have been true, to a degree. Those who have shot down one often returned with huge burns on the skin, though the mystery has since been revealed. The stomach of the Ferlawyng is highly acidic, which affords the creature the ability to eat almost anything without the use of teeth (though it typically only consumes foliage). Because the stomach generally resides in the belly, puncturing it releases this acid, usually on or toward he or she who wounded the creature. Although the mystery of the melting skin following the slaying of one of these creatures has been revealed, many still believe that other curses follow killing one of these beautiful and magical creatures.
Territory: The Ferlawyng dwells in dense forests in Nybelmar, particularly in the Drifting
Woods
, although inconclusive reports mention the creature floating through other forests in
Northern
Nybelmar.
(You could mention the Amorai forests here if you wanted, as they are quite close-by)
Habitat: The Ferlawyng prefers to live in forests and woods with vines and thickets, but filled with some open meadows comfortably hidden within the many strals or even leagues of tall trees and thick brush. The densely grown wood helps them to hide themselves, but the open meadows are needed as part of reproduction
(My perception of the Drifting Woods doesnt place them with 'meadows'...you might have to check with Mira on that)
. Sometimes, through harvesting all the leaves of trees in a certain area, they will create their own meadows, if not for themselves, then for the generations to come. Some believe that the nature magic of these creatures allows them to create meadows purely through magic , though many scholars of magic find this explanation highly fantastical.
(You say magic too many times in this sentence)
This creature tends to choose woods in which no sapient creature resides, staying away from even friendly elven forests
(There arent any Elven Forests in Northwestern Nybelmar)
, or woods too near a human settlement.
Behavior: Beyond all things, the Ferlawyng is shy, hiding away high in the canopies in the center of their forests, away from the prying eyes of elves
(No Elves likely to be found in their territory)
and humans and all other sapient creatures. Despite this, they tend to be fairly social creatures, living in large groups, some say as large as 40. Aeyla Thundergale, the only known researcher of these animals, documented the Ferlawyng community she entered (and, strangely enough, into which she was allowed to experience the Ferlawyng) as consisting of about 25 individuals, an assumed average. She writes about her first sight of the community after following a sole Ferlaway into the center of the forest:
“All round, high in the canopy, their bodies glinting like many-colored fish in pools of light, they glided and floated as though swimming through the air, winding through the branches, playing with one another, and making beautiful, strange sounds like music. Their dark eyes hardly regarded me at all, staring up at their long, slender bodies, shining and shimmering, their beautiful veil-like wings trailing behind them like the dress of a royal
('royal' seems too ambiguous, or at least doesnt fit in my mind somehow. Since, as a Morchini, she would have little grasp of 'elegant Queens' etc., I think a suitable substitute would be 'like the dress of royalty')
. At times they moved together, like a flock of birds, and others seemed to move each separately, but always with a grace and magic such as I have never seen, and think I shall never see again.”
In all of Aeyla Thundergale’s work, and in all reports of the Ferlawyng, none have ever mentioned it being aggressive toward anything. The creatures seem to never fight, and there are those who have hypothesized that the creatures music, that which it uses to eco-locate, is also its means of communication, and it is through communication, not violence, that the creature expresses itself and its desires, like a kind of language.
The Ferlawyngs have no natural predators and eat no other animal, thus living in harmony with all the creatures dwelling in the forests. Because their diet is typically only foliage, they usually only eat in spring and summer, filling themselves with enough food to last through the colder months. Though they don’t hibernate during these months, it is believed they move more sluggishly and fly closer to the ground, eating occasionally on the brush growing along the forest floor. The also float closer together, either for warmth or protection, both or neither. The trees grow fast in a Ferlawyng forest, and spring tends to come earlier and stay longer, providing ample food to the hungry creatures.
You mention seasonal differences above...but my only wonder is that are Jungles actually affected that much winter? The Amazon doesnt seem to shed all of its leaves in December, after all. Mira also used some sort of geographical trick so that the climate in the Drifting Woods is always quite humind...I think.
Diet: The Ferlawyng exclusively eats leaves, sometimes short grasses on the forest floor, but usually the rich foliage, especially that in the higher canopy. Most of their day is spent floating through the leaves, grazing. They typically prefer deciduous trees
(again, are Jungle trees deciduous! I cant answer any of these questions!)
, though they do not seem to prefer one above the other. They do not eat meat, not even insects.
Mating: The Ferlawyng reproduction took years to uncover, and for the most part, came about purely by accident, when
one
boy journeyed too far into the woods where the community of Ferlawyngs Aeyla stayed with once dwelt and, finding something strange among the wood, came to Aeyla. In the last year of the first term Aeyla Thundergale stayed with the creatures, during the spring, they mated; often each took several partners, though Aeyla had difficulty following which was male and which female. The elegant and astonishing mating rituals, dancing in air and spinning through the branches was, as Aeyla thought, the one last gift the Ferlawyngs gave her before; in the winter of that year, they all grew weak and died. Aeyla left the forests that year depressed, yet dedicated to collect her notes and meditate on what she’d seen.
Nearly four years later, the boy reported something strange in the forest, and Aeyla journeyed back to find a giant tree, four peds tall but with thick branches bending close to the earth, growing out of what was once a meadow. It was summer, yet among the green leaves of the tree, large sacks leaden the branches. These sacks, almost tear-shaped, were a reddish brown in color and warm to the touch. Aeyla stayed near the tree (often visiting ones like it in other meadows she recalled) through autumn and winter as the sacks grew from the size of dog (about a ped in length) to nearly double that. She marks in her notes that these were the meadows where most of the mating took place, and some Ferlawyngs (supposedly the females) had dropped what she had thought at the time was feces, but must have been some sort of seed. In mid-spring, the sacks opened and small Ferlawyngs emerged, smaller versions of their parents and already gifted with flight.
Aeyla stayed with this new community until they, too, died 50 years later. Due to old age, she did not live to see the trees they planted grown or their youngsters hatch. Before she died, she hypothesized that she had lived with the Ferlawyngs at an important time, that these beasts lived for about 50 years. Before dying, they mate and produce a tree to
bear
their children, which they never see. The tree grows quickly for four or five years before bearing the Ferlawyng sacks, which grow for a year before hatching into young Ferlawyngs. While there are stories of those who have lopped off the sacks from the tree in attempts to have a Ferlawyng of their own, the sacks become like jelly and never hatch.
The tree on which the Ferlawyngs’ sacks hang lives only until autumn, at which point it looses its leaves and dies, as though, having fulfilled its purpose, it allows itself to die.
(I refer you again to the seasonal trends in Jungles)
Researchers: Aeyla Thungergale (1578-1652 a.S.) researched the beasts from the age of 18. Originally a female Morchini farmer’s daughter
(So she became someone else's daughter
? Perhaps change 'originally' to 'Born')
, Aeyla lost her home and father in a fire when she was 12. She and her siblings moved with their mother into her aunt’s house in the Plains of Kaerath. As a teenage girl, she spent much time exploring the surrounding forest. When she was 17, she saw a sparkle of gold in the forest leaves and followed it, seeing bits of scale and shimmering wing, she followed it eagerly deep within the wood. For whatever reason, the creature allowed her to follow it into the center of the forest where the Ferlawyng community resided.
The Drifting Woods are (or at least were) an area of considerable military action. I'll have to check with Mira but the safest location near them may be the Gate of M'aghin (or something like that), but, due to the vastest of the Kaerethi Plains, it may be wiser to specify that she moved to a specifci location viable for small bits of Jungle-wandering.
Aeyla Thundergale essentially lived with the beasts for three years, cataloging the creatures in the community, trying to identify them based on size, shape, and color, and giving them names, although she never was able to discover their gender. Through there guidance, she managed to avoid the Vikh hunting parties that would have sent her back to the plains. She experienced the mating rituals performed in the spring of the year they died. Now nearly 21, Aeyla Thundergale retreated from the forest and lived with her aunt, mother, and younger siblings, depressed at the death of so many mystical creatures. For a few years, many feared she would bring curse to the community, but nothing ever came of it.
When she was 24, a boy who had journeyed into the forest reported to Aeyla Thundergale of the tree with the strange sacks hanging in the forest, and she quickly returned. She again moved into the forest, tenting under the enormous tree that held the tear-shaped sacks. She witnessed the hatching and did not leave the forest for 50 years. Many on the outside believed her lost or dead, but 50 years later, when the creatures mated and died, she returned again at the age of 74, old yet still filled with life lent to her, many said, through the magic of the Ferlawyngs. She tried to write down all her observations into a story, but never finished, dying soon after emerging from the forests. Members from the Enkyclopadië Nybelmarnica, hearing about the Aeyla's research, came and collected her research notes soon after her death.
Others have tried to follow in her footsteps, but to little avail. Every once in a while, one sees the shimmer of gold or red though the trees and tries, as Aeyla did, to follow the creature into its community, but most lose sight of it soon after spotting it, and no others have been allowed to become as close and intimate with a Ferlawyng community as Aeyla Thundergale.
Usages: While the creature’s bones are said to have secret powers in divination, and their scales, though light as paper, could perhaps be used to fashion earrings or even a dress, doing so is highly forbidden by most tribes
(Unless you want to specify where else they live, it may be fine to specify 'most tribes' simply as 'the 'Vikh')
, who view such actions as disrespectful to the beast and fear that even touching the body of the beast once its dead can bring about great curse. Those that have killed or used the body of the Ferlawyng are generally those who delve in darker arts. Even rogues and bandits who might be able to make a quick fortune by selling parts of a dead Ferlawyng don’t ponder on the thought, either severely frightened from the curses said to follow such an unholy action or because they hold the beast in reverence.
Older stories about people trying to tame these creatures all end terribly. One captured creature, so it is told, was held in a barn, the owner hoping to train the magnificent beast, but the creature beat itself to death trying to escape, and soon after the man and his family lost their life in an angry thunderstorm. Most stories relate a captured Ferlawyng escaping and the family who imprisoned it befalling some misfortune: their house being burned down, a disease poisoning their crops, their cows and goats taking ill and never again producing a drop of milk.
A very nice entry! I do like beasts which are completely fantastic in their design yet are still approached with the style of a Compendium entry. You write beautifully and coherently with a good balance of factual information and entertaining description.
Sort these out, and seek out Mira, and we'll see if we can get this blarrowed soon.
Deci
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Coren FrozenZephyr
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Re: Ferlawyng
«
Reply #21 on:
23 March 2011, 01:37:15 »
Poof!
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"Everything should be as simple as possible and not simpler." Albert Einstein
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"I think that comes under the rule of Quia Ego Sic Dico."
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"'Because I say so', I think."
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"Actually, it's the only one he needs." (
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Athviaro Shyu-eck-Silfayr
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Re: Ferlawyng
«
Reply #22 on:
23 March 2011, 08:00:55 »
Hey Rayne,
Comments in this orange, corrections in
this red
Like the entry itself, I must say.
DISCLAIMER: Anything in red I regard as a grammatical necessity; anything in orange is a comment, meaning that however it is phrased, it is not to be taken as me rewriting the entry. It is a way in which you could rewrite the entry; you may wish to do it otherwise. However, the underlying issue is there, unless you think it isn't - in which case, see below.
Feel free to argue - if you think you have a case.
Ath
Ferlawyng
A strange, mystical creature dwelling in the densely grown forests and wood of Nybelmar, particularly the Drafting Wood,
Is it not Drifting Woods?
the Ferlawyng was long thought a thing of myth and legend until recent research confirmed
its
existence. Its appearance strikes awe and fascination into those who look upon it, and it has been compared to dragons, fish, snakes, and even bats, though it remains something entirely separate from these. The shy Ferlawyng holds unknown magical abilities belied by its docile nature. Although large, it eats only the leaves of the canopy.
For a long time, those few who saw the Ferlawyng believed it came from no where
Clumsy - use "nowhere"
, that it spawned out of air and trees and light, but since then,
Either "but, since then, its" or "but since then its"
its means of reproduction have been revealed, mostly through accidental discovery.
Appearance:
SPACE
The Ferlawyng stretches nearly two and a half peds, with a slender and perhaps even elegant figure covered with small, flexible scales like those of a fish. It has a wide, flat head, like that of a shark, but has no teeth. It eats through grazing off leaves with its lips and simply swallowing them down. The stomach of the Ferlawing
I or Y?
contains potent acid
aceed
that can burn through almost anything.
Is this Appearance?
All along its snout, tendrils feel the surrounding world, as the eyes of the beast, almond-shaped and black like those of a deer, do not see well. It also has two tendrils above its eyes, giving it an almost dragon-like appearance. In addition to these feelers, the Ferlawyng uses a soft, high-pitched call to eco-locate
echo-locate
Do we have this term? Fairly complex idea. In addition: Is this appearance?
the trees around it. It also uses smell, collecting scents through the two large nostrils on the top of its head.
The Ferlawyng has several fin-like wings on its body, 6 in total
I counted; it has eight. Use words not figures
, and while it is generally categorized as a flying creature, would better be described as floating or gliding through the air, as if swimming on a current. The creature has two fins on either side of its body, starting as three scaly protrusions and then thinning out into the transparent, iridescent wings it uses to fly. The shape of the wings are hard to determine while in flight, as they tend to ripple and move like airy cloth; the shape differs from creature to creature, with edges as varied as a maple leaves
a maple leaf OR maple leaves
, but they generally follow a shape similar to bat wings, but of a material and elegance unworthy of such comparison.
Clumsy repetition of "but" here. I would write, changing as little as possible, "maple leaves; they generally follow a shape similar to bat wings, but of a material"
The creature also has a fin-like wing at its back, the airy wing connecting to protrusion off its back. The tail also contains a wing used to propel it through the air. This “wing,” which extends from the end of the tail, has a separation in its center
centre
. In addition to these wings, the Ferlawyng has two others, smaller, that extend from its belly
As I said, they then have eight wings
. Generally, the location and appearance of the wings give the Ferlawyng an almost fish-like appearance, and indeed it seems to move through the air as though swimming.
The Ferlawyng has no arms, no claws, no feet at all, and does not need them, as it does not generally move along the ground. Some believe that the creature moves always or else sleeps suspended in the air. Others say that the creature lies among the trees or even on the ground. No one knows for sure. Almost every instance in which it has been seen, it has been in flight in the canopies.
I would think that your researcher would have recorded this.
The Ferlawyng comes in many different colors
colour
We use BrE spellings
that seem to depend little on environment or season. Red Ferlawyngs shine with a reddish-orange hue through its shiny scales and have wings, transparent and light, shimmering in a light orangey-red, slightly lighter than the body itself. Although Ferlawyngs of this color
Won't mention this again; you can do Find and Replace to get 'em all
are commonly called Fire Ferlawings
Again: Which is it? If both, make it clear. Won't say this again, to save space.
, they exhibit no unusual propensities toward fire in comparison to other Ferlawings. Gold Ferlawyngs, sometimes called Sun Ferlawyngs, have a slightly lighter coloration
Ok, different word. Just to flag it up.
, with scales that shimmer like gold, and wings that have a golden iridescent
iridescence
. Though most consider the Gold and Fire Ferlawyngs the most common, others have argued that their color makes them more noticeable, and that perhaps they seem more common that they actually are.
The less seen Blue (or Purple) and Green Ferlawyngs are generally considered rarer. The Green Ferlawyng has a deep green color along its scales, sometimes with hints of blue or bronze in its color
Just cut "in its coloUr"; it's surplus to understanding
, and wings slightly lighter and more yellow, often a chartreuse with a styruine iridescence. Blue or Purple Ferlawyngs (Also called Night Ferlawyngs)
Cut the parentheses. Use commas.
have blue or indigo scales and wings of lighter blue and purple that shimmer with a star-like quality. Because few have ever seen these Ferlawyngs, some still consider them myth and legend, the stuff of fairytales.
Special Abilities: The Ferlawyngs have no proven special abilities, though generally their flight is seen as a thing of magic, and not necessarily a gift lent by their structure. Though they have poor sight, they navigate gracefully through the trees both through the tendrils that feel out their environment and through their use of eco-location
See previous points about this
. The echo of their voices through the trees gives the forests a mystical music that none who’ve heard can really explain. Their skill in moving through the trees makes them hard to locate and hard to catch a glimpse of, and it is just this ability to stay hidden that has kept them shrouded in myth so long, and even after their noted discovery,
Cut the comma; alternatively, put a comma between "and" and "even"
kept them a strange and mysterious animal.
There is general agreement that these creatures have magical powers, but
it is
not completely decided what these magical powers are.
Sounds...Devvy. Say "not agreed" or "none are sure" etc. instead
Those who have come in direct contact with them report their scales being warm, even when the air turned cold with the coming of night or the winter settling in. This leads to the assumption that these beasts have some sort of fire magic, though none have recalled them actually creating fire. Many report this creature as having healing capabilities, healing wounds and bringing starved or mortally wounded people back from the brink of death. One case reports a blind girl becoming lost in a forest where Ferlawyngs dwelt and emerged
emerging
a week later with the ability to see. Whether or not these reports hold true remains debatable, but it continues to be one of the few agreed-upon assertions.
One of the abilities to which there seems to be a more factual basis is that the Ferlawyng possess some sort of nature magic. Those woods and forests where Ferlawyngs dwell generally have larger trees and flowers which tend to live longer. Autumn comes to a Ferlawyng’s wood later than
to
the surroundings. Usually the difference is only slight—from the outside both woods look the same, but once inside, the difference becomes apparent. In addition, many herbs and plants that grow no where
nowhere, as before
else grow in Ferlawyng woods, some with unusual magical properties, or so it is said.
The magic of the Ferlawyng sparked many rumors
rumours
that to kill one brought about bad luck and curse, and part of this may have been true, to a degree. Those who have shot down one often returned with huge burns on the skin, though the mystery has since been revealed. The stomach of the Ferlawyng is highly acidic
aceedic
, which affords the creature the ability to eat almost anything without the use of teeth (though it typically only consumes foliage).
Parentheses. Also, just stomach aceed won't allow this; you need teeth to bite mouthfuls
Because the stomach generally resides in the belly, puncturing it releases this acid
aceed
Last time
, usually on or toward he or she who wounded the creature. Although the mystery of the melting skin following the slaying of one of these creatures has been revealed, many still believe that other curses follow killing one of these beautiful and magical creatures.
Me gusta este mucho! Very nice.
Territory: The Ferlawyng dwells in dense forests in Nybelmar, particularly in the Drifting Woods and Amorai Forests, although inconclusive reports mention the creature floating through other forests in north and northeastern Nybelmar.
Habitat: The Ferlawyng prefers to live in forests and woods with vines and thickets, but filled with some open meadows comfortably hidden within the many strals or even leagues of tall trees and thick brush. The densely grown wood helps them to hide themselves, but the open meadows are needed as part of reproduction. Sometimes, through harvesting all the leaves of trees in a certain area, they will create their own meadows, if not for themselves, then for the generations to come. Some believe that the nature magic of these creatures allows them to create meadows, though many scholars of magic find this explanation highly fantastical.
This creature tends to choose woods in which no sapient
Sapient is the wrong word here. Sentient is the word you want
creature resides, staying away from even
move the "even" to fit in thus: "resides, even staying away from". The sense is garbled here
friendly elven forests, or woods too near a human settlement.
Behavior: Beyond all things, the Ferlawyng is shy, hiding away high in the canopies in the center
centre
Not going to say it again
of their forests, away from prying eyes. Despite this, they tend to be fairly social creatures, living in large groups, some say as large as 40. Aeyla Thundergale, the only known researcher of these animals, documented the Ferlawyng community she entered (and, strangely enough, into which she was allowed to experience the Ferlawyng)
parentheses could be avoided somehow? Not the most egregious case, but still...
as consisting of about 25 individuals, an assumed average. She writes about her first sight of the community after following a sole Ferlaway
Ferlawyng
into the center of the forest:
“All round, high in the canopy, their bodies glinting like many-colored
coloured
[Help the find&replace...[/color] fish in pools of light, they glided and floated as though swimming through the air, winding through the branches, playing with one another, and making beautiful, strange sounds like music. Their dark eyes hardly regarded me at all, staring up at their long, slender bodies, shining and shimmering, their beautiful veil-like wings trailing behind them like the dress of a royal. At times they moved together, like a flock of birds, and others seemed to move each separately, but always with a grace and magic such as I have never seen, and think I shall never see again.”
In all of Aeyla Thundergale’s work, and in all reports of the Ferlawyng, none have ever mentioned it being aggressive toward anything.
Because of the construction of this sentence, there is an issue with the last bit. The easiest way appears to me to be this: "...reports of the Ferlawyng, there is no mention of it being aggressive..."
The creatures seem to never fight,
never seem to fight
and there are those who have hypothesized that the creatures music, that which it uses to eco-locate
again
, is also its means of communication, and it is through communication, not violence, that the creature expresses itself and its desires, like a kind of language.
The Ferlawyngs have no natural predators and eat no other animal, thus living in harmony with all the creatures dwelling in the forests. Because their diet is typically only foliage, they usually only eat in spring and summer, filling themselves with enough food to last through the colder months. Though they don’t hibernate during these months, it is believed they move more sluggishly and fly closer to the ground, eating occasionally on the brush growing along the forest floor
Fairly odd sentence. Either "occasionally eating the brush..." or something like "grazing" instead of "eating"; "nibbling" or "chomping" work (grammatically)
. The
y
also float closer together, either for warmth or protection, both
I would insert a comma in where I've put this to help the sense
or neither. The trees grow fast in a Ferlawyng forest, and spring tends to come earlier and stay longer, providing ample food to the hungry creatures.
Diet: The Ferlawyng exclusively eats leaves, sometimes short grasses on the forest floor, but usually the rich foliage, especially that in the higher canopy. Most of their day is spent floating through the leaves, grazing. They typically prefer deciduous trees, though they do not seem to prefer one above the other.
Contradiction. Try: "They typically prefer deciduous trees, though it is not a particularly marked preference". If you mean breeds/species of deciduous tree, rephrase to make that clear. Easy enough.
They do not eat meat, not even insects.
Mating: The
secret of? process of? Something should go here
Ferlawyng reproduction took years to uncover, and for the most part, came about purely by accident, when a boy journeyed too far into the woods where the community of Ferlawyngs Aeyla stayed with once dwelt and, finding something strange among the wood, came to Aeyla.
Rephrase this sentence; it seems uncontrolled. "The process of Ferlawyng reproduction took years to uncover. The discovery came about, for the most part, purely by accident, when a boy journeyed far into the woods where the community of Ferlawyngs Aeyla studied had lived. Finding something strange in the forest, he came straight to Aeyla." seems to be one way it could be done; there are others.
In the last year of the first term Aeyla Thundergale stayed with the creatures, during the spring, they mated
See if you prefer something like this: "In the last spring of Aeyla Thundergale's first stay with the creatures". It seems to flow more easily - to me, at least
; often each took several partners, though Aeyla had difficulty following which was male and which female. The elegant and astonishing mating rituals, dancing in air and spinning through the branches was, as Aeyla thought, the one last gift the Ferlawyngs gave her before; in the winter of that year, they all grew weak and died. Aeyla left the forests that year depressed, yet dedicated to collect her notes and meditate on what she’d seen.
Nearly four years later, the boy reported something strange in the forest, and Aeyla journeyed back to find a giant tree, four peds tall but with thick branches bending close to the earth, growing out of what was once a meadow. It was summer, yet among the green leaves of the tree, large sacks leaden
What? "The branches were
laden
with..." or "large sacks weighed down the branches" or some such thing.
the branches. These sacks, almost tear-shaped, were a reddish brown in color and warm to the touch. Aeyla stayed near the tree (often visiting ones like it in other meadows she recalled) through autumn and winter as the sacks grew from the size of dog (about a ped in length) to nearly double that. She marks in her notes that these were the meadows where most of the mating took place, and some Ferlawyngs (supposedly the females) had dropped what she had thought at the time was feces
faeces
, but must have been some sort of seed. In mid-spring, the sacks opened and small Ferlawyngs emerged, smaller versions of their parents and already gifted with flight.
A lot of parentheses here. Really do try to rephrase it.
Aeyla stayed with this new community until they, too, died 50 years later. Due to old age, she did not live to see the trees they planted grown or their youngsters hatch
Match the tenses here - both present or both past
. Before she died, she hypothesized that she had lived with the Ferlawyngs at an important time, that these beasts lived for about 50 years. Before dying, they mate and produce a tree to bear their children, which they never see. The tree grows quickly for four or five years before bearing the Ferlawyng sacks, which grow for a year before hatching into young Ferlawyngs. While there are stories of those who have lopped off the sacks from the tree in attempts to have a Ferlawyng of their own, the sacks become like jelly and never hatch.
Presumably since the time of Aeyla Thundergale?
The tree on which the Ferlawyngs’ sacks hang lives only until autumn, at which point it looses
loses
its leaves and dies, as though, having fulfilled its purpose, it allows itself to die.
Researchers: Aeyla Thungergale (1578-1652 a.S.) researched the beasts from the age of 18. Born a Morchini farmer’s daughter, Aeyla lost her home and father in a fire when she was 12. She and her siblings moved with their mother into her aunt’s house in the Plains of Kaerath. As a teenage girl, she spent much time exploring the surrounding forest. When she was 17, she saw a sparkle of gold in the forest leaves and followed it,
I should put a sentence break here, thus: "...followed it. Seeing bits..." Makes more sense for a reader.
seeing bits of scale and shimmering wing, she followed it eagerly deep within the wood. For whatever reason, the creature allowed her to follow it into the center of the forest where the Ferlawyng community resided.
Aeyla Thundergale essentially lived with the beasts for three years, cataloging
cataloguing
the creatures in the community, trying to identify them based on size, shape, and color, and giving them names, although she never was able to discover their gender
sex
. Through there
their
guidance, she managed to avoid the Vikh hunting parties that would have sent her back to the plains. She experienced the mating rituals performed in the spring of the year they died. Now nearly 21, Aeyla Thundergale retreated from the forest and lived with her aunt, mother, and younger siblings, depressed at the death of so many mystical creatures. For a few years, many feared she would bring curse to the community, but nothing ever came of it.
When she was 24, a boy who had journeyed into the forest reported to Aeyla Thundergale of the tree with the strange sacks hanging in the forest,
"...reported [the tree] to her..."
and she quickly returned. She again moved into the forest, tenting
camping?
under the enormous tree that held the tear-shaped sacks. She witnessed the hatching and did not leave the forest for 50 years. Many on the outside believed her lost or dead, but 50 years later, when the creatures mated and died, she returned again at the age of 74, old yet still filled with life lent to her, many said, through the magic of the Ferlawyngs. She tried to write down all her observations into a story, but never finished, dying soon after emerging from the forests. Members from the Enkyclopadië Nybelmarnica, hearing about the Aeyla's research, came and collected her research notes soon after her death.
Others have tried to follow in her footsteps, but to little avail. Every once in a while, one sees the shimmer of gold or red though the trees and tries, as Aeyla did, to follow the creature into its community, but most lose sight of it soon after spotting it, and no others have been allowed to become as close and intimate with a Ferlawyng community as Aeyla Thundergale.
Usages: While the creature’s bones are said to have secret powers in divination, and their scales, though light as paper, could perhaps be used to fashion earrings or even a dress, doing so is highly forbidden by most tribes, who view such actions as disrespectful to the beast and fear that even touching the body of the beast once it
'
s dead can bring about great curse. Those that have killed or used the body of the Ferlawyng are generally those who delve in darker arts. Even rogues and bandits who might be able to make a quick fortune by selling parts of a dead Ferlawyng don’t ponder on the thought, either severely frightened from
of
the curses said to follow such an unholy action or because they hold the beast in reverence.
Older stories about people trying to tame these creatures all end terribly. One captured creature, so it is told, was held in a barn, the owner hoping to train the magnificent beast, but the creature beat itself to death trying to escape, and soon after the man and his family lost their life in an angry thunderstorm. Most stories relate a captured Ferlawyng escaping and the family who imprisoned it befalling some misfortune: their house being burned down, a disease poisoning their crops, their cows and goats taking ill and never again producing a drop of milk.
«
Last Edit: 23 March 2011, 08:02:46 by Athviaro Shyu-eck-Silfayr
»
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"I don't care what you did as a boy."
"Well, I did nothing as a girl, so there goes my childhood." - Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire,
The Gay Divorcee
, 1934.
The Life and Works of Athviaro Shyu-eck-Silfayr
Kalta'hnk
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Rayne (Alýr)
Dreamress
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Re: Ferlawyng
«
Reply #23 on:
24 March 2011, 11:21:26 »
Oh dear. I thought I had buried this for good in the catacombs of the board! I need to go through both uris, and probably do an edit of my own. I have gone briefly through the comments. The creature does indeed have six wings:
The Ferlawyng has several fin-like wings on its body, 6 in total, and while it is generally categorized as a flying creature, would better be described as floating or gliding through the air, as if swimming on a current. The creature has
two fins
on either side of its body, starting as three scaly protrusions and then thinning out into the transparent, iridescent wings it uses to fly. The shape of the wings are hard to determine while in flight, as they tend to ripple and move like airy cloth; the shape differs from creature to creature, with edges as varied as a maple leaves, but they generally follow a shape similar to bat wings, but of a material and elegance unworthy of such comparison.
The creature also has a fin-like wing at its back
, the airy wing connecting to protrusion off its back.
The tail also contains a wing
used to propel it through the air. This “wing,” which extends from the end of the tail, has a separation in its center. In addition to these wings,
the Ferlawyng has two others
, smaller, that extend from its belly. Generally, the location and appearance of the wings give the Ferlawyng an almost fish-like appearance, and indeed it seems to move through the air as though swimming.
I think I see where the confusion is. The first mention should be "two fins, one on either side of its body." I will edit this as well.
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"There is much misjudgment in the world. Now, I knew you for a unicorn when I first saw you, and I know that I am your friend. Yet you take me for a clown, or a clod, or a betrayer, and so I must be if you see me so. The magic on you is only magic and will vanish as soon as you are free, but the enchantment of error that you put on me I must wear forever in your eyes. We are not always what we seem..." -Schmendrick the Magician, The Last Unicorn
Athviaro Shyu-eck-Silfayr
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Re: Ferlawyng
«
Reply #24 on:
24 March 2011, 16:56:45 »
Ah, yes. I thought it was like a bee, with double-wing. Thanks for clearing that up.
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"I don't care what you did as a boy."
"Well, I did nothing as a girl, so there goes my childhood." - Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire,
The Gay Divorcee
, 1934.
The Life and Works of Athviaro Shyu-eck-Silfayr
Kalta'hnk
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Rayne (Alýr)
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Re: Ferlawyng
«
Reply #25 on:
16 September 2011, 12:06:36 »
Changes integrated. I didn't take all the changes, but a good deal of them. Thank you, Ath, for going through the entry with such care. I apologize that it's taken me so long to integrate them, but hopefully now I can finally get this beast finished.
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"There is much misjudgment in the world. Now, I knew you for a unicorn when I first saw you, and I know that I am your friend. Yet you take me for a clown, or a clod, or a betrayer, and so I must be if you see me so. The magic on you is only magic and will vanish as soon as you are free, but the enchantment of error that you put on me I must wear forever in your eyes. We are not always what we seem..." -Schmendrick the Magician, The Last Unicorn
Azhira Styralias
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Mód’dél’áey
Re: Ferlawyng
«
Reply #26 on:
20 September 2011, 01:01:24 »
Looks good to me. Integrate this already.
Any issues with this would merely be minute nitpickings.
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Shabakuk Zeborius Anfang
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Re: Ferlawyng
«
Reply #27 on:
20 September 2011, 04:58:21 »
Hi Rayne,
I wanted to drop by mainly to say what a beautiful creation I find the ferlawyng to be. It’s like a surreal painting in the form of a compendium entry, and to me, it captures within a fantasy metaphor the mystical beauty of the world. It’s the kind of entry that makes me wish I could travel to Caelereth. (Much like whales make me wish I could live in the sea.) I like the mysterious accidents that befall those who try to cage or kill the ferlawyng. I like the idea of Night Ferlawyng passing in the dark unnoticed. I like the mystical music of the ferlawyng’s voices. I like their communal nature. And I like the utter originality of it all! (Some similarities in spirit with Peter S. Beagle’s unicorn, which, given your signature, are no doubt intended, notwithstanding.) So thanks for painting a spot of beauty into my evening!
As Azhira would no doubt be happy to testify, I am an inveterate nitpicker, and couldn’t help noticing a few things here and there, which I permit myself to list below. They are all minor issues which should be easy to fix. And in no way do they distract from my admiration of this text. I hope that one of our artists will do an illustration for it sometime. Anyway, here goes:
Quote
A strange, mystical creature dwelling in the densely grown forests and wood of Nybelmar, particularly the
Drifting Wood
… Drifting Woods …
Quote
The Ferlawyng has several fin-like wings on its body,
6
in total,
… six …
Quote
The
shape of the wings are
hard to determine while in flight,
… shape of the wings is … (or: shapes of the wings are)
Quote
The creature also has a fin-like wing at its back, the airy wing connecting
to protrusion
off its back.
… to a protrusion … (?)
Quote
Red Ferlawyngs shine with a reddish-orange hue through
its
shiny scales
…their …
Quote
The creatures never seem to fight, and there are those who have hypothesized that the
creatures
music, that which it uses to echo-locate,
…creature's… (add apostrophe)
Quote
While the creature’s bones are said to have secret powers in divination, and their scales, though light as paper, could perhaps be used to fashion earrings or even a dress, doing so is highly forbidden by most tribes, who view such actions as disrespectful to the beast and fear that even touching the body of the beast once
its
dead can bring about great curse.
… it is (or: it’s)…
«
Last Edit: 20 September 2011, 06:07:11 by Shabakuk Zeborius Anfang
»
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Ding-dong!
Seeker
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Re: Ferlawyng
«
Reply #28 on:
20 September 2011, 05:58:25 »
What a beautiful creature. I love unusual fantasy creatures. It will make for a great illustration one day.
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Artimidor Federkiel
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Re: Ferlawyng
«
Reply #29 on:
24 September 2011, 02:26:22 »
Final changes made, Rayne?
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-- Maria (Metropolis)
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