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Author Topic: Baniops (Frogs O' Doom)  (Read 16779 times)
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Valan Nonesuch
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« Reply #30 on: 08 July 2009, 01:57:46 »

If I might clarify my own intention, no. It actually lacks a tongue entirely. It would probably be closer to a mosquito than to a vampire bat in terms of feeding. Could've sworn I wrote that down somewhere. *wanders off to start stabbing logic in the face*
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Nsikigan Ho´Tonanese Yourth
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« Reply #31 on: 09 July 2009, 00:15:53 »

Bestiary/Water Creatures/Molluscs & Others

Overview
The Baniop, also called the Bloodjumper Frog, is among the most feared and reviled members of its species because of its ghoulish habit of consuming blood. Worse still is the alarming tendency of Baniops to swarm in groups of fifty or more in a feeding frenzy, enabling them to suck men or even larger beasts dry. Baniops are only known to live in the Falsejungles of Chuu where are these? 'Cross the seas? Southern Sarvonia? Where? And while I know that the south of Sarvonia is mainly desert, many newbies might not. So just specify a bit farther, take the reader right where we need to be., where the local Meelaimada humans? elves? orcs?folk regard them as cursed.

Appearance
“Look. What I’m sayin, what I’m sayin is ye can’t call that thing a frog. It looks like a frog, smells like a frog and croaks like a damn frog, but it has teeth, why for the love of the gods does that thing have teeth!?”
–Delirious Frog Victim, while being carried away by Sanriers
heh. :)

To all outward appearances, the Baniop looks like an ordinary frog. Its colouring is something of a deviation from the norm, being bright blue with large red stripes issuing from the tops of its eyes and running down the creature’s back. It is by no stretch of the imagination a large frog, I would seperate thius into two seperate sentances. Flows better :) two of them could rest comfortably on the palm of a man’s hand. The eyes of the Baniop are rather disconcerting, being green as they are, with a curious pattern of coloured lines. The eyes bulge out from the sockets, which sit out from the top of the Baniop's head, and have a distinct shine to them, unlike the rest of the body, which is simply slimy.
Its feet have sticky pads which enable the Baniop to hang from branches and sturdy leaves, while its powerful legs enable it to jump distances up to three fores in length and up to a fore in height from a standing start. The Baniop has, instead of an elastic tongue, a set of rather sharp teeth, which it uses to feed. These to have a tendency to fall out and are replaced by new teeth after a short while. Maybe they have multiplke rows of teeth? Like sharks, or manticores?

Special Abilities
The Baniop is known for its stomach capacity. It can actually eat itself to death, since its stomach is more flexible than the rest of the frog’s body. A wet popping noise is usually associated with the phenomena of a tree frog bursting, and is usually cause to stay away from the source of the sound, lest one unwittingly leads more frogs to a messy death. Haha, I like this :) The Baniop also has an uncanny ability to sense living animals. Whereas some creatures (like ducks) might be confused by a cleverly constructed fake, a Baniop is not. Some postulate that they can actually hear a creature’s blood pumping. VAMPIRE FROGS! Nice.

Territory
The Baniops are found exclusively in the Falsejungles of Chuu, where their amphibious nature is of great use during the occasional flood-rains that inundate the forest floor. The Falsejungles may be found near the northern coast of Nybelmar, southwest of the Ivyieth Mountains and north of Sarthera. Due to the efforts of the Meelaimada to kill these frogs, they are not found with any particular proximity to settlements.
    
Habitat/Behavior
Baniops roam in loose groups of individuals, numbering two dozen at the very least and three score at the most, clinging to trees like over-painted mushrooms. Once they discover a target, the Baniops will descend like a living rain to bite the unwitting victim, using their feet to stick to the hide of the unfortunate prey. How quickly can they strip a cow?

Diet
The Baniop is not picky about what it eats, since it actually consumes the blood of its victims rather than their flesh, they do however tend to go after larger animals, including Meelaimada unlucky enough to run afoul of a hungry pod. Baniops do have an unusual taste for the cadensis cats that are their main predators, and the sight of many dead frogs usually indicates a fight between some cats and several groups of Baniops. I'm not sure I'd make a primary prey an animal that can kill me... To feed, a Baniop will land on a creature, cling to it with its feet and bite. The Baniop then sucks the blood from the wound until it runs dry. Oddly enough, Baniops have never been reported to feed on shed blood, nor have they been seen to feed on deceased creatures, leading some scholars to suspect that "they like it hot". Which scholar? Not nessecary, but you could do something funny here.

Mating
Female Baniops lay a multitude of eggs numbering between 50 and 80, sometimes even up to 100 on a leaf. The males then fight over, to the point of using their teeth, the right to fertilize these eggs. Baniops can be very dangerous during this season, since anything that moves and has a heartbeat is considered a potential aggressor. Travellers are warned to be especially careful in the later parts of the month of Awakening Earth.
  
Myth/Lore/Origin
The Meelaimada tell that the Baniops were not always as they were. They once were frogs that ate the juice of the fruit of a certain tree, believed by some scholars to have been the Keelo tree, that grew within the Falsejungles in abundance, and were known for the beautiful singing noise they made to attract mates. When the jungles began to rot and decay, Why did they rot?so did the trees, which ceased to bear fruit. The frogs, now lacking food, began to die in great numbers, leaving corpses scattered across the floor of the jungles like flower petals after a storm. After a short while, they could no longer hear the frogs singing, and believed them all to have starved to death, when they discovered that they had not. The frogs now drank blood instead of juice, and are held as a sign by the Meelaimada of their curse and of the downfall of Chuu.

Usages
Meelaimada folk will often try to lure Baniops into pits, usually with a sick or wounded animal, and then harvest the frogs for their stomachs, which are used as waterproof pouches. Several stomachs can be used to make a larger pouch, if sewn by overlapping them at the seams. These stomachs must be treated, most often with a mixture of the blood found in the stomach and lake oil, in order to keep them elastic.

The saliva of the Baniop is also harvested, because it acts as a blood thinner and is sought after by healers. Applying Baniop saliva to a wound will prevent it from thickening and beginning to scab, and is useful if there is debris caught in the wound, or if one wishes the area to form a scar instead of healing properly. Care must be taken to use this sparingly however, if the wound is too large an inability to scab over may lead to disease or death from blood loss.

While non-Meelamada have been known to use the Banops solely for these elements, a Meelaimad will purify the corpse, usually by suspending it from a tree, or by burning it.
Very nicely done! We've got some nasty locales in Santh....

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Nsikigan Yourth, Eyelian extraordinare.

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Drasil Razorfang
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« Reply #32 on: 09 July 2009, 04:33:45 »

Nsiki, generally its not a good idea to provide an Uri when the writer has not encorperated comments from the previous check yet. 
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Artimidor Federkiel
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« Reply #33 on: 09 July 2009, 05:11:37 »

But better two checks than none, eh? :)
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Valan Nonesuch
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« Reply #34 on: 09 July 2009, 05:26:09 »

Actually Drasil, I'm having a hard time seeing some of these errors you're talking about. The sentences you mention (for the most part) seem to make perfect sense.
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Drasil Razorfang
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« Reply #35 on: 09 July 2009, 10:10:39 »

Its not you can't glean a meaning from most of those sentences, the major issues is that they aren't correct gramatically or are phrased in a very awkward manner.
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Valan Nonesuch
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« Reply #36 on: 09 July 2009, 10:28:14 »

And what I am saying is that I believe that they're fine. I can't see anything wrong with some of the sentences you've pointed out here.
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Drasil Razorfang
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« Reply #37 on: 10 July 2009, 00:55:30 »

...Apparently you are going to make me do this the tedious way  ;).  Which ones do you not find to be gramatically incorrect and I will assist you in altering them so that they make more sense. 
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Valan Nonesuch
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« Reply #38 on: 11 July 2009, 01:33:26 »

Quote
Quote
“Look. What I’m sayin, what I’m sayin is ye can’t call that thing a frog.

I don’t get the purpose of repeating the same phrase here.  I get that you are trying to be colloquial, but it doesn’t really make sense in this case.  People don’t repeat the same phrase twice in a row unless they are trying to make a dramatic pause or are stumbling over their words, neither of which are indicated here.

You expect a delirious person to be grammatically correct?
Quote
Quote
To all outward appearances, the Baniop looks like an ordinary frog.

This sentence doesn’t make any sense.
Yes it does. The phrase is perfectly clear from where I'm standing. "To all outward appearances" meaning that it looks like a frog on the outside. It is frog shaped.


Quote
Baniops roam in loose groups of individuals, numbering two dozen at the very least and three score at the most, clinging to trees like over-painted mushrooms. Once they discover a target, the Baniops will descend like a living rain to bite the unwitting victim, using their feet to stick to the hide of the unfortunate prey.

Um…I am going to put this bluntly and say that this is not an acceptable behavior section.  You need to elaborate much more.  Talk about things such as how their little groups operate.  Do they migrate around certain areas?  How is the “Leader” decided?  Things like this should all be elaborated upon and included in this entry.

Quote
The Baniop is not picky about what it eats, since it actually consumes the blood of its victims rather than their flesh, they do however tend to go after larger animals, including Meelaimada unlucky enough to run afoul of a hungry pod.

Quote
*blink* Ok…This whole beast is designed as a flesh eater.  Teeth are meant for eating flesh, not sucking blood.  You need to resolve this issue by either changing the design of the beast or what you want it to eat.

Quote
To feed, a Baniop will land on a creature, cling to it with its feet and bite. The Baniop then sucks the blood from the wound until it runs dry.

Yeah…Doesn’t work like that.
[/quote]
Quote
Female Baniops lay a multitude of eggs numbering between 50 and 80, sometimes even up to 100 on a leaf. The males then fight over, to the point of using their teeth, the right to fertilize these eggs.
These beasts are starting to sound less and less like frogs and more and more like random beasts.  First off, frogs grow from tadpoles, which require water(and should also be elaborated upon in this section).  Secondly, this is not how frog mating works.  I’m sure you can find more details on Wikipedia, but it involves this hug and then spraying of eggs and then fertilizing them in the air and stuff.[/quote]

The entire section here is bugging me since you're bringing science into it. What's the point of fantasy if we obey all the rules? I'm making frogs with teeth that suck blood and you're worried about the fact that they don't mate like frogs? Mating? Really.

Quote
Quote
juice of the fruit of a certain tree

Could you get anymore generic on this detail :P  Perhaps a name for the fruit and the tree would be in order.
I believe that was included. Why yes it was!
Quote
fruit of a certain tree, believed by some scholars to have been the Keelo tree
I'll thank you not to slice my sentences up more than necessary here. To be perfectly clear, that phrase hasn't been added in between then and now, since
Quote
« Last Edit: 07 July 2009, 11:48:22 by Drasil Razorfang »
is the current bottom of the post.

Hopefully this helps.
« Last Edit: 11 July 2009, 03:27:12 by Drasil Razorfang » Logged

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« Reply #39 on: 11 July 2009, 03:24:00 »

The broken code was making it extremely difficult for me to read your comments so I went and took the liberty to fix that for you so that I can address them.  My responses will follow below.
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Drasil Razorfang
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« Reply #40 on: 11 July 2009, 03:53:53 »

So now to address your various issues:

First:  I am not asking you to be grammatically correct.  If I was asking you to do that, I would ask you to change it to “Look.  What I am saying is that you can’t call that thing a frog.”  What I am telling you is that I get you are trying to make it colloquial, but it doesn’t make sense because people don’t talk like that.  If you want it to work you need to either take out one of the “What I am sayin”s or indicate a reason in the syntax as to why he repeated himself.  By inserting a … or maybe even having the writer indicate that he took a second to gather himself, it shows that there is a pause between the two, making it not only make sense from a colloquial stand point, but also addressing my concern.

Second:  “To all outward appearances” is the most awkward and unnecessary phrase I have seen in a long time.  It’s riddled with redundancies and as a whole is not even needed for the sentence to make sense.  Simply saying, “The Baniop looks like an ordinary frog” would convey the same message.  If you want me to point out what is wrong with that clause in specifics, I can do that to, but I think my above explanation should help you better understand what I was trying to say.

Quote
The entire section here is bugging me since you're bringing science into it. What's the point of fantasy if we obey all the rules? I'm making frogs with teeth that suck blood and you're worried about the fact that they don't mate like frogs? Mating? Really.

When I read this comment, the first thing that pops into my head is “Typical newbie argument”.  We hear this argument from every new member who wants to create some super awesome killing machine with no consideration for what is already in place and no explanation, and quite frankly, its old tired and isn’t going to hold up in an argument.  If you really have your heart set on making another one of these killing machines, you are going to have to explain how and why it works otherwise its not going to happen.  In your specific case, I think your easiest route would be to stop calling this thing a frog and simply make it an amphibious monster, since that’s what it is in reality.  If you insist on making it a frog, it is going to have to resemble a frog in more then just its appearance otherwise its not going to work.  Therefore, if you wish to keep it a frog, you are going to have to further elaborate on the various things that makes it different from your generic frog in its habitat and behaviour, as well as in its appearance, you are also going to have to add in tadpoles and such as part of its habitat and behavior and/or its mating section, you are going to have to make it mate like a frog(mating is what is used to classify animals in various categories so if it doesn’t mate like a frog, I don’t think it would be classified in the same category) and finally its going to have to make logical sense.  For example, teeth are used to tear into flesh and make incisions, not siphon out blood.  

Quote
I'll thank you not to slice my sentences up more than necessary here. To be perfectly clear, that phrase hasn't been added in between then and now, since
Quote
« Last Edit: 07 July 2009, 11:48:22 by Drasil Razorfang »
is the current bottom of the post.

I found this comment to be quite insulting and completely unnecessary and I find it extremely tempting to give you a -1 aura for it(though I have refrained cause I understand where your frustrations are coming from).  However, in the future, I ask that you refrain from attempting to insult the moderators who are commenting on your bestiary entries simply because you do not like what they have to say.  As for this specific quote that you took out: Good, I am glad you have decided upon a tree, however, that does not make that phrase any less generic.  “The fruit of a certain tree” is still an extremely unspecific clause.  Editing it would not be a big deal, all you would have to do is say “The fruit of the Keelo tree.” Hardly a “butchering of your sentences”.
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« Reply #41 on: 11 July 2009, 04:11:51 »

I reacted to Dras's first comments too - I didn't think some of his comments were fair either and I mentioned those specifically.

But I have to say that he is pretty spot on here (aside from 'to all outward appearances'. That is a colloquialism that I'm quite familiar with, and it is used (however redundant it sounds), but it's not a big deal and changing it to be clearer will help with general understanding).

I really like this creature, as my first comments state. A few changes and we can get this into the world and enjoy it. Nearly there Val.

Happy Writing :)

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« Reply #42 on: 11 July 2009, 07:56:39 »

Valan, I feel that you are being somewhat unreasonable in antagonising Drasil's commentary. Grammar and syntax have always been what I have considered 'Open Season' when it came to changes- unless you have a specific and valid reason not to rearrange a sentence I think its a good rule of thumb just to do it. I mean, Drasil or anyone else for that matter would not look into your entry and point out an issue if there was no real reason for it. In my honest opinion, its simply courtesy to make edits that while perhaps slightly unneccesary from your perspective are important to the commentor. And, like us all Valan, no one's grammar can be perfect.

And on the stylistic issues, I dont think 'Fantasy Licence' allows you to transcend classification rules. Personally, I have always had the concept of spawn, tadpoles etc. as pertinent facets of frogs and toads. I mean, would you call something a butterfly if it had no caterpillar stage or no cacoon?

In short, I don't think anything suggested by Drasil is unreasonable and it would be in your best interests to integrate his sound commentary.

Deci
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« Reply #43 on: 11 July 2009, 19:06:22 »

Quote
I mean, would you call something a butterfly if it had no caterpillar stage or no cacoon?


Maybe that issue would be worth an 'objective', emotionless discussion on the general board. For me it is not as clear as you describe it here, Deci. maybe this approach is a bit too modern.

If something looks like a butterfly, why should I not call it like this? Did the medieval people have already such strict classifications? (A butterfly is only a beast which has a larvae stadium, a frog needs to have a waterpool at some point of its development?)

My first thought when skimming over that discussion was, that 'what looks like a xxx' is a 'xxx', even if its behaviour is different or its looks inside different. You call a mechanical frog still a frog.

I think, in this case, the people would still call it a frog, maybe a xxx-frog, maybe even well knowing, that it is not really a frog. In the entry itself it should however pointed out, that this may be NOT a true frog.

Why not call him 'false frog'?

**********

To the colloquial wording - I think it should be avoided in an entry for the compendium, except in quotes, for the language in such an encyclopedia should be of a certain standard. I always imagine lectors/editors working there, who polish the incoming research reports. So even, if the researcher's language is not the best, the lectors would mend that.

Apart from that, I don't understand them ;)
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« Reply #44 on: 11 July 2009, 22:06:19 »

Point still being, even if its a false frog he needs to elaborate on the things that makes it different from a frog, which up to this point Valan has thought it was not necessary to do.
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