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Author Topic: The Gondolwenmith ("the Practical Krean")  (Read 16732 times)
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Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels
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« Reply #15 on: 07 July 2009, 05:09:08 »

Coren, I don't know, if we want to have it consistently over the site - and there is no entry yet - but I have called cotton - toccon in Southern Santharia, or do you want to have it clearer, that it is cotton?

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« Last Edit: 07 July 2009, 05:18:41 by Talia Sturmwind » Logged

"For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path  that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel looking,  breathlessly. ~Don Juan"
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Coren FrozenZephyr
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« Reply #16 on: 07 July 2009, 05:36:03 »

Well done Talia! Though I only had the first one in mind ;)

Re cotton: I'd like to keep it cotton here, to make it clearer what the fabric is. I hope that won't be a problem :)
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« Reply #17 on: 07 July 2009, 05:49:26 »

Ok, just talked to Arti: We're going to put this up so I'm opening the entry for comments! The sections that are there a bit like "the core" of the entry. When I wrote this one, I took a theme and tried to weave everything around that.

I'll try to get the People section as well  (and depending on how efficient I am, maybe Government and Housing too) and then we should have all the essentials done for the next update! :D

PS: As for appearance: I am waiting for confirmation from Faugar. I want to commission a tribe portrait but we have to see how Faugar's schedule is for the summer :) Also, I inquired about the possibility of commissioning concept sketches - my inspiration is a bit low atm and I cannot find any reference pictures I like. I have an idea about what I DON'T want the Gondolwain to look like, but cannot quite put together a mental image for what they actually DO look like  shocked
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"Everything should be as simple as possible and not simpler." Albert Einstein

"Is he allowed to do that?"
"I think that comes under the rule of Quia Ego Sic Dico."
"Yes, what does that mean?"
"'Because I say so', I think."
"That doesn't sound like much of a rule!"
"Actually, it's the only one he needs." (Making Money by Terry Pratchett)
Artimidor Federkiel
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« Reply #18 on: 15 July 2009, 04:51:12 »

Definitely a well written entry so far, though we lack especially the People section, which should give us the most insight on how these people see themselves. I also don't know that much about Nybelmar that I could give qualified input here, though there's a lot going on here as far as the trade is concerned that brings the Nybelmarian exotic flair in and makes them a potential rival for Avennorian ambitions.

You mention the possibility of interaction between the Avennorians and the Gondolwenmith yourself, though they're quite a bit appart yet, and we haven't really though much in the western direction with this seafaring tribe. They mostly deal with the south (Aeruillin) and probably Denilou at some point, especially when the Stormcloak shipping guild is founded. Though there need to be some connections west, with R'unor etc. - but that's all too unclear as of yet, so I would leave that somewhat open for now. But there could be some rivalry first, then some cooperation perhaps between these tribes eventually.

One thing I spotted in the Overview is the mentioning of "Lex Mercatoria", which looks strange to me, as a principle with a Latin name use in Caelereth for one sounds very Earthen and secondly I'm not sure if everyone aside from law students knows exactly what you're talking about. In such cases I'd always recommend to introduce something Caelerethian, and add a little explanation to it. Could be the same principle, just with origins at a tribe/rules/trader in Caelereth.
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Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels
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« Reply #19 on: 15 July 2009, 05:09:25 »

Nix Avennorian - Varcopas! ;)  buck
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"For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path  that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel looking,  breathlessly. ~Don Juan"
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Coren FrozenZephyr
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« Reply #20 on: 17 July 2009, 05:40:19 »

Thanks for the input!

- Re "Lex Mercatoria": I'll change that to the "Law Merchant" which is the English equivalent (or perhaps "Merchants' Law"?) I hope to have a separate entry on Gondolwain Lex Mercatoria so I did not crowd the overview too much. I'll add a line of explanation though :)

That said, "Lex Mercatoria" had such a nice ring to it... ::pouts:: ;)
« Last Edit: 19 July 2009, 04:07:03 by Coren FrozenZephyr » Logged

"Everything should be as simple as possible and not simpler." Albert Einstein

"Is he allowed to do that?"
"I think that comes under the rule of Quia Ego Sic Dico."
"Yes, what does that mean?"
"'Because I say so', I think."
"That doesn't sound like much of a rule!"
"Actually, it's the only one he needs." (Making Money by Terry Pratchett)
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« Reply #21 on: 19 July 2009, 04:06:49 »

Government section added!
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"Everything should be as simple as possible and not simpler." Albert Einstein

"Is he allowed to do that?"
"I think that comes under the rule of Quia Ego Sic Dico."
"Yes, what does that mean?"
"'Because I say so', I think."
"That doesn't sound like much of a rule!"
"Actually, it's the only one he needs." (Making Money by Terry Pratchett)
Coren FrozenZephyr
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« Reply #22 on: 27 July 2009, 03:16:23 »

Important Achievements added - People section to come later tonight! :)
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"Everything should be as simple as possible and not simpler." Albert Einstein

"Is he allowed to do that?"
"I think that comes under the rule of Quia Ego Sic Dico."
"Yes, what does that mean?"
"'Because I say so', I think."
"That doesn't sound like much of a rule!"
"Actually, it's the only one he needs." (Making Money by Terry Pratchett)
Coren FrozenZephyr
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« Reply #23 on: 27 July 2009, 23:20:17 »

Ok, finished all the essential sections - so the entry is pretty much ready to go! (we will be uploading this in instalments so I won't complete the remaining sections of the template, such as holidays etc for this update)

So: Fire away! I hope you enjoy the entry :D
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"Everything should be as simple as possible and not simpler." Albert Einstein

"Is he allowed to do that?"
"I think that comes under the rule of Quia Ego Sic Dico."
"Yes, what does that mean?"
"'Because I say so', I think."
"That doesn't sound like much of a rule!"
"Actually, it's the only one he needs." (Making Money by Terry Pratchett)
Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels
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« Reply #24 on: 28 July 2009, 04:24:31 »

Hey Coren, know what was one of my first thoughts after I was halfway though? This is a tribe I might want to make a char for the RPG board! :)

I have no detailed comments, just a few thoughts.

Your enchanted cotton is a very interesting read! It reminded me at the very scarce hide of the Raház-Estar, out of which armour, but  as well lightweight, watertight , breathable capes are done. (I thought of Gortex or similar). Maybe that would be worth a link? That hide is of course no trade item.

Then, I think the beauty of some of the described things is a bit contrary to the 'form follows function', but I'm sure, you tell me, that I'm wrong ;)

Overall  thumbup

Edit: forgot to mention the name of the ruler - Amor - is that an Easteregg and has a deeper meaning???
« Last Edit: 28 July 2009, 04:26:23 by Talia Sturmwind » Logged

"For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path  that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel looking,  breathlessly. ~Don Juan"
***Astropicture of the Day***Talia's Long, Long List***
Ta`lia of the Seven Jewels
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« Reply #25 on: 28 July 2009, 16:06:39 »

I knew there was something missing - appearance!
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"For me there is only the traveling on paths that have heart, on any path  that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel looking,  breathlessly. ~Don Juan"
***Astropicture of the Day***Talia's Long, Long List***
Coren FrozenZephyr
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« Reply #26 on: 28 July 2009, 18:52:27 »

Hello Talia! wave Looking forward to your character on the RP board - let me know when you create it!

I'll respond to your comments in order:

(1) I have coloured the changes in yellow.

(2) Rahaz-estar - cross-reference added. Though I couldn't find the part about watertight capes etc in the bestiary entry?  noidea

(3) Re "Form follows function": Just that form should match the function does not mean that both cannot be beautiful ;) Btw, I used "follow" in the sense of "adopting the form most suitable for the function" (ie something practical) rather than in the sense of form being inferior to function. I hope that clarifies it somewhat! :) At any rate, this is a Krean tribe we are talking about :P

(4) Re Amor: innoc

(5) Re Appearance: That section will be left out for this update (see my second post in this thread and the one just before your reply). I'm still waiting for confirmation from Faugar regarding possible concept sketches and a tribe portrait
« Last Edit: 28 July 2009, 19:07:27 by Coren FrozenZephyr » Logged

"Everything should be as simple as possible and not simpler." Albert Einstein

"Is he allowed to do that?"
"I think that comes under the rule of Quia Ego Sic Dico."
"Yes, what does that mean?"
"'Because I say so', I think."
"That doesn't sound like much of a rule!"
"Actually, it's the only one he needs." (Making Money by Terry Pratchett)
Coren FrozenZephyr
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« Reply #27 on: 31 July 2009, 03:28:35 »

hia
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"Everything should be as simple as possible and not simpler." Albert Einstein

"Is he allowed to do that?"
"I think that comes under the rule of Quia Ego Sic Dico."
"Yes, what does that mean?"
"'Because I say so', I think."
"That doesn't sound like much of a rule!"
"Actually, it's the only one he needs." (Making Money by Terry Pratchett)
Coren FrozenZephyr
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« Reply #28 on: 01 August 2009, 05:03:54 »

Can I shamelessly ask again for comments? Please? ::puppy eyes::
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"Everything should be as simple as possible and not simpler." Albert Einstein

"Is he allowed to do that?"
"I think that comes under the rule of Quia Ego Sic Dico."
"Yes, what does that mean?"
"'Because I say so', I think."
"That doesn't sound like much of a rule!"
"Actually, it's the only one he needs." (Making Money by Terry Pratchett)
Altario Shialt-eck-Gorrin
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« Reply #29 on: 01 August 2009, 05:05:18 »

I will read and comment this weekend. :)  Today is not as good for me though.
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